Screw Bronze!

I really enjoy getting these glimpses into your li...

2012-05-28T03:08:08.135-07:00

I really enjoy getting these glimpses into your life before I met you. It's quite interesting seeing the way your mind works. In many ways I see myself and in someways your descriptions remind me of my brother.

I was using a flashlight andlooking at Serenity Rose to see if I could find more glitter. The overhead light works best to find the glitter.

Cheryl

A really enjoyable read, Beth. What's wrong w...

2012-05-28T02:51:12.943-07:00

A really enjoyable read, Beth.

What's wrong with throwing a few bales? I actually preferred doing that to preparing one meal after another to feed the people throwing the bales. Didn't have to do dishes either.

Hmmm, I think I'd be interested in reading that poem you wrote which stopped the sex-capade readings.

Your last sentence made me laugh out loud - 'You think too much, McClung'. Yup, how many times have I thought that over the years. I remember when we were first dating you'd keep asking me questions. What do you think about A, B, etc? And I remember often starting my respons with 'well, I've never really thought about B before, but...'

You do think a lot - and what an amazing mind you have. It's one of the things I still admire about you.

Well, that was just wonderous. A wander through t...

2012-05-27T21:15:45.933-07:00

Well, that was just wonderous. A wander through the mind and history of Elizabeth, complete with incredible structure AND free association.

You are a better writer on your worst day than most of us will ever hope to be at our very best.

Love you.

Lorna, Bob and Liam

Anon: thanks - I keep on, keeping on - if I can ha...

2012-05-27T10:35:46.043-07:00

Anon: thanks - I keep on, keeping on - if I can hang on until funds for Mayo or some sort of sponsership fund - I already tried one US hospital which eliminated a lot of the diagnosis issues. Thanks.

Baba Yaga: I love your writing, as it fills in the gaps I have and the questions I want to ask, but didn't know how.

Denise: I cannot defend the actions of my GP - I have waited almost 4 years for SOMEONE, ANYONE to DO something instead of just going 'not my inch'.

Devi: Yes, becuase then I was assessed to determine if it was MY problem that I wasn't dying on time. haha. (crying and laughter the same).

sweetheart it doesnt limit or define you or your a...

2012-05-26T16:41:19.435-07:00

sweetheart it doesnt limit or define you or your ability to love- anymore than Mine does me..the fact that you have Linda and Cheryl and others around you and can still love each other, feed squirrel fratboys and demanding peacocks is a good thing and a good day. You bear enough crosses and can choose which ones to put down, to a small extent. spend your limited resources loving and preparing each other for the time when youre apart, just trust that love is forever and youll be together again. youve got enough pain you have to keep .. let the ones you can go by..
Peace
Jill

Beth, dear, your childhood is so painful to read a...

2012-05-26T07:43:08.269-07:00

Beth, dear, your childhood is so painful to read about; and you're such a good writer that I CAN imagine it.
But your upbringing only shows that you can't stop a child's inner beauty from shining, no matter how badly you treat him/her.

I know you now have found love in Linda, and Cheryl, but I understand you still want your parents' love and understanding. But because your parents know you still want to be on good terms with them, they still have power over you. There's nothing you can do (short of becoming someone you are not and cannot be) that would gain their acceptance. I feel sorry for your parents, for they have shut out one of the most wonderful people they could ever have met.

Much love and many zen hugs, and positive, healing energy for Linda's leg,
Neil

Goldfish: Thank you. Seeing the people churned o...

2012-05-26T06:59:33.447-07:00

Goldfish: Thank you. Seeing the people churned out of the cult college (they were 'perfect' in all ways, because they were watched at all times, and had files, and behavior, views and comments were all regulated for 4 years - so, kind of how to make the 'mask' perfect), I am saddened that so many have gone out to hurt others, and from my conversations and online conversations with 'Christians' - trying to convince someone who is raping his wife each night and complaining to others that if HE is in charge, as God commands, then she SHOULD pretend to LIKE IT - It makes me ill and sad and glad there are women's shelters. I'm glad you were able to walk away, and I am glad that I can be me, and find people who care about the real me, who has interest in all things, works on self shame, and tries to make sure that being hurt doesn't stop me from still reaching out. As I said to an 'evaluation' - yes, I had some PTSD and limitations on where I would go outside if males were around, but I went to therapy because I didn't want to be a prisoner to that.

Yes, it is good to be free of that, and to escape the viewpoint that bad acts are okay, even when done to me, if done by people I idolize. Thanks.

Jill: I get frustrated with myself because in some ways I am so far from that growing up and other ways I find how I act each day affected in some way by it. I hope it doesn't limit me or who I can help or care about. Thank you so much for your open caring self.

Tina: Thanks. Well, I wouldn't mind us having income so we can have vacation days and travel and do fun stuff again. But as I sleep about 12-15 hours a day, due to the body winding down, not sure how that would work out. Maybe we could get a used amulance and do a road trip - haha.

As a writer, in order to write good and bad characters, I tried to be able to get into anyones mind to figure out how they see the world and with my parents I just can't. I guess I have more in common with my simple grandfather who said after being asked if he wanted dessert said, "Why do you always ask that, have you ever known me to say no." and his advice was, "eat the dessert first, just in case there is an emergency" - sound advice I have followed all these years.

Yes, perhaps you are right, perhaps my father has some intolerance of 'broken' things. Interesting - thanks.

Thanks for listening, I know they aren't funny but I just have a hard time connecting with people who had sleepovers and the middle class or upper lower class life - they have their mom take them at 8 into a burning garage because she wanted to save the family car, but didn't want to be alone - so she took me, which is kind of the reverse of most moms, I think - who usually take children AWAY from houses and garages on fire.

Cheryl: In some ways, I think my experiences help me, but also limit me. I wanted to help on help lines but always was told I could never actually HELP the person, or even share, which I know from calling those lines is what is needed most. I am thankful that you took the risk to come and play badminton and then take trips - all of us, I wanted you to have a better more interesting life for the sacrifices you make to let me into yours.

I marvel that a child surrounded by people who don...

2012-05-25T17:29:53.569-07:00

I marvel that a child surrounded by people who don’t seem to know what love is or how to show it could grow up to be such a caring, generous, loving person. You have amazing inner strength and courage to not succumb to the pressure to live the life expected of you but instead to live your life in the way that is right for you.
You inspire me to be a better person and I am proud that you are a member of my family. We may not be genetically related but you and Linda are part of my family.

Cheryl

(hugs) I do love you, Beth, and I don’t want you t...

2012-05-24T18:01:04.864-07:00

(hugs) I do love you, Beth, and I don’t want you to be any different a person than you are now.

That all sounds so awful. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have your parents leave and abandon you entirely after pretending to be God all those years. It’s just... sick, really really sick.

The story about the boat is interesting, because now it’s not something you’ve made that’s broken, but your whole body... but you don’t let it stop you from living. You’re far away from your father’s terrible advice of “if it might break, abandon it.”

(hugs) Don’t forget, you’ve got a new family, in Linda and Cheryl. I know that doesn’t erase the hurt from the old family, though. Anyway, thank you for letting us into this very private part of your little world, I know it must be really hard to go back to these old stories. We owe you a lot, Beth, for you passing on your experiences and letting us learn from your wisdom and courage.

—Tina

This is why I am against socialized medicine - thi...

2012-05-24T16:56:15.433-07:00

This is why I am against socialized medicine - this stuff happens, because it doesn't benefit the system to take care of the terminally ill. If you can, you might consider a doctor in the US or Japan (though the US would be easier to get to). Please consider coming down this way - there have been others in Canada who were terminally ill who went to the Mayo Clinic here and were SAVED.

Stay strong, and fear nothing.

you cant forget love, I know that but work towards...

2012-05-24T15:45:05.866-07:00

you cant forget love, I know that but work towards forgiving. Done is done and they are human and will eventually have to explain or some such. Holding on to the hurts poisons your heart and soul, and that is way too high a price to pay Imho. love them from a distance and cherish what or who is there now.. if it helps a hug and an I love YOU I can give and freely do)
you 2 remain often in my prayers
Peace
Jill

(((hug))) I was married to a man a bit like that,...

2012-05-24T14:06:17.577-07:00

(((hug)))

I was married to a man a bit like that, I can only imagine what it would be like to be his child. My ex had no power in any community and he had no children, two things for which I am tremendously grateful.

Because he was my husband and nothing to do with my childhood, nothing to do with my identity, I was able to walk away completely. To see that relationship as a period in my life I have to heal from, rather than a part of how I was made. And as such, I can afford to be much less sympathetic.

But it doesn't actually matter if you think they are just people or something worse. The important thing is that you've escaped their power, which I think you have. I think after that, forgiveness, indifference, love or hate, there's no right way to feel about them. Just so long as the power is gone.

Jane: Squirrels are good friends. I hope you have...

2012-05-24T11:42:55.317-07:00

Jane: Squirrels are good friends. I hope you have a great weekend - watching Eurovision?

Neil: Well, as a Double Bass player and meeting and playing with dozens, I kind of get the problems and style of many double bass players. I love the instrument but there aren't a lot of double bass solos.

Hill: hopefully we can see some more this weekend - thanks and Peace to you.

Linda: It was that exciting for me, and you seemed to have some fun. But yes, lots of waiting that day.

Cheryl: I think helping so much so we reached the 6,500 together and helping me to the park shows what kind of person you are, thank you.

It was nice to go to the park with you. Your desc...

2012-05-24T09:27:25.071-07:00

It was nice to go to the park with you. Your descriptions of the squirrels really sum up their personalities.

It was fun to stamp postcards. Reaching 6500 postcards sent is a great accomplishment and shows what a kind and caring person you are.

Cheryl

Linda here... I love reading your commentary of t...

2012-05-23T14:39:57.665-07:00

Linda here...

I love reading your commentary of the squirrels - you make it sound so much more exciting than it is at the time. I guess part of that is you can skip the witing around and waiting around, wondering whether a squirrel will ever come back for another squirrel.

Great photos of the squirrels - especially the frat boy!

I am really glad we were able to go see the squirrels. Maybe we can go out again in the next few days.

You were amaing getting all those postcards written. I am glad we were able to all stamp some cards. That's the most fun part - escpecially when done together.

so so very glad you guys had a good day.. watch ou...

2012-05-23T00:09:17.382-07:00

so so very glad you guys had a good day.. watch out for the squirrels they can get larcenous and make you save vs cuteness..

Peace
Jill

Hurray for a good day out! For any good days... 6...

2012-05-22T21:34:46.225-07:00

Hurray for a good day out! For any good days...

6500 postcards. Wow. You are amazing, my dear.

I WAS going to tell you to stop being mean to bass players, but then I remembered the bass player in my band 15 years ago: he was a beat late, and when he had us trying to play something he had written, the rhythm didn't make sense until the fiddler asked to see the sheet music. It was written in 3/4 time and he was playing it in 4/4. So I guess your assessment of bass players is right. :)

I hope Linda was able to destress a little too, yesterday. Good thoughts and positive energy is being sent for all three of you!

Love and zen hugs,
Neil

Yay for squirrels, wildlife and a little bit of a ...

2012-05-22T10:08:41.785-07:00

Yay for squirrels, wildlife and a little bit of a social life. Sending good thoughts your way.

I am to submit a report on this niche your post ha...

2012-05-21T17:59:01.143-07:00

I am to submit a report on this niche your post has been very very helpfull speakers

Horrifying treatment--I'm terribly sorry... H...

2012-05-21T11:16:08.310-07:00

Horrifying treatment--I'm terribly sorry...

Happy birthday to a strong-ass woman!

I'm so sorry to hear about even more crappy me...

2012-05-21T06:15:13.931-07:00

I'm so sorry to hear about even more crappy medical care. That's awful.

Despite that, despite the past few months, I hope you find a bit of happiness on your birthday. I, too, am glad you are alive.

*hugs*

Oh, good lord, it just never ends, does it? We...

2012-05-20T20:32:55.150-07:00

Oh, good lord, it just never ends, does it?

We're so sorry to hear about this latest travesty. We're truly at our wits' end to suggest how to cope with (yet another) bunch of ridiculousness. Yeesh.

It almost seems insensitive to wish you a happy birthday in light of all this... but we are glad you are hear to see it, and we do send our love and hopes for a better time.

Lorna, Bob and Liam

Ah, how often 'the system' set up to serve...

2012-05-20T11:27:39.763-07:00

Ah, how often 'the system' set up to serve becomes its own purpose, an ourobouros feeding on it's own tail whilst the people or need it is supposed to serve become it's enemy, a distraction from it's real purpose of eating itself and growing fatter...

While I celebrate that you're still here, and look to see if there are any dollars down the back of my couch I can send to help with climbing medicine costs, I am still so futilely angry with these people... maybe they hope if they get you angry enough you'll have a giant stroke and become simple, obedient and oh what an inconvenient side effect dead??

Sorry, not helpful, but oh, Elizabeth, you might live in a beautiful place, but it has some truely ugly, selfish people and systems in it.

You are penalised for not dying on time? What is t...

2012-05-19T05:56:46.360-07:00

You are penalised for not dying on time? What is this, something out of Kafka?

Well, I for my part I'm glad you live. Happy Birthday week!

hugs Happy Birthday sorry things are bad please tr...

2012-05-19T03:43:02.692-07:00

hugs Happy Birthday
sorry things are bad please try to enjoy and rest a bit today
hugs
Jill