I’m channeling Jimmny Cricket with the positive (not so much with whistling): so what is good in your life?
My good things:
1) Linda bought me the lastest copy of Gothic Beauty.
It shows some amazing corsets from Russia (with $600-3000 prices to match – Lily got a deal with her leather corset, which looks just as awesome).
Also a company, The Dark Angel in the UK was reviewed. They sell Regency clothes, including men’s (men's clothes are harder to find than women's and regency style harder than generic gothic).
The company sells a nice Venetian Carnival Men’s Cloak worth saving for by The Dark Angel (I would want the hooded one, with black lining). Thanks Linda.
I did feel both foolish and disappointed when a looked up a retailer which advertised ‘Specialize in Demonic Stationery…’ Woe the daily dyslexic burden of disappointment: that was ‘Demonic Statuary.’
I really wanted to know how one ‘specializes’ in Demonic Stationery. Didn’t you?
2) We been watching last few days some episodes of Season six of Bones.
We had quit because ‘Sexy FBI guy’ and ‘Sexy Bone Doctor’ weren’t doing any sexy banter on or off cases. To start the season the 'Team' went away and when they came back, Daisy had sent her engagement ring through her intestinal track and back to ‘Sweets’ and Booth was with ‘Annoying Blonde’ not Bones. When I read a few weeks ago that season seven focused on the pregnant Bones and her Baby with Booth, I told Linda that we had simply not hung on long enough.
We had watched 12 episodes, which is about half the season, which is why we quit, having to this dull, dead relationship with Booth and Annoying Blonde. Relationship combined with the horrific slime, mold, feces and other ways they try to make sure you never eat while watching the show made us quit. We started and not only were the dead bodies not quite so horrid, but Blond is gone (and Booth tosses a diamond engagement ring worth a years’ income into a fountain, so PAYDAY for those fountain cleaners). So, lost viewing found again for us.
3) Linda got some awesome boots in Seattle.
We went to Seattle partially to get some clothes for Linda’s job. And found in Nordstrom's The Rack (the discount of the high end stuff they finished showing in the showrooms, they send here) had some boots that were so awesome, I chipped in half just so I could vicariously enjoy them (as with full leather boots with leather double sole stitching, paying $40 or $50 more to get boots that last a decade over ones that last two years is often worth it). (Playing Nancy Sinatra’s ‘These Boots are made for Walkin’’ right now). As you can see, they even have the leather grips on the top to hook your finger in to pull them on.
We also found Linda some hard core fetish 7” to 8” high heels for a bargain price.
She said no. I pointed out that she is always saying she wants something to wear in the office, and these were definitely ‘dress to impress’, or ‘dress to be noticed.’ But as she has no desire to break her leg falling out of them, she passed.
4) During our trip to Seattle, while we got lost trying to Find American Eagle, we found some Amazing Blown Glass.
There was an exhibit of this artist for $26 per person entry or you could just get lost like we did and find displays for free.
Not great things:
My health. The last 24 days I been sicker than I have ever been. At one point, I was in so much pain that it was impossible to say still for more than a second or at best two. I simply writhed. No amount of pain medications could even take the edge off enough to let me lie still, or sit still. I took four times the maximum of the highest ‘breakthrough’ pain medication – the kind the doctor said, ‘You should be able to take this for a while, a week or so before your liver gives out’, but four times that amount and I couldn’t pass out, couldn’t sleep, just moaned, screamed, whimpered, and writhed for 12 hours before I slept 50 minutes. Next week, pulled all the muscles from under and by my ribs on my whole left side and under the front ribs so I couldn’t turn to look, couldn’t lift a utensil, couldn’t lean (four days of that before it just felt like I was punched in the solar plexus every time I got a hiccup or swallowed). This meant that though I have a deep desired to write and contact people, I couldn’t. I did the whole, ‘focus on getting through this minute’ until you get to the next minute and then started over again. So life is like the crater of a blast zone, I am trying to accept the ‘obliteration’ and move on from there to some new normal.
Relationship wise, I have lost touch with a lot of people because I am too weak to send postcards. For over 10 days, I was unable (ribs and that) to even type. I want to ‘be a friend’ so I can have friends, but right now, I am not being a good friend – because life is getting in the way. Sorry if you have felt cut off. ‘Thinking’ about someone doesn’t cut it, I know that, and I am working each day to reach out.
With Linda: I love her. I want to be an asset in her life, someone who makes her life better. I’m not sure I’ve been doing that. I am committed to doing, taking action, every day, to make the relationship continue to grow. I hope that my last day alive our relationship will have kept growing stronger. (Is that future past pluperfect tense?) I want to brainstorm how to be romantic while feeble.
I feel like I am in high school, or uni, where I am mostly in my head, kinda brainy, but also cut off from people and those few I see don’t get my humor, or sentence structure, or Hubble Telescope view of things, which isn’t helped as my speech is all slurry.
Linda says that she can see how tired I get just sitting, how much of a struggle it is.
Some times breathing is the greatest victory. So is the art of sitting still.
I’ve had a hard couple years. I still had some great experiences and enjoyments: I got to see women box in the Olympics, live. I did my 10K last month. I went to Hawaii, Japan, sawing lava, Comi-con, Sakura-con.
I want there to be a lot more ahead. I still hope, deep down that like Gillian-Barre, this is something I bounce back from, or enough to dream of part time work, or at least blogging regularly. Unlikely, but hope is hope, right?
I’d like to have more, but if this is all that I get, then that’s okay; besides, I don’t see a whole ‘Death’s complaint and case review’ sign.
Hope things are good in your life. Please let me know.
I am an academic, a lesbian who IS married, 17 years, and a full time wheelchair user, now power chair user. I write about disability issues on the blog Screw Bronze and up to Nov. 2008 on BBC's OUCH! Currently I am working on the postcard project (sending out a postcard to everyone who wants/needs one! Over 5,300 sent. To get a postcard for free click the link below!).
Yeah, I'm terminal, I'm end stage, I have days without hope - so similar to all those years of retail jobs during Xmas. Hee.