Friday, October 12, 2012

Demonic Stationery, Kickin Boots and the art of breathing

I’m channeling Jimmny Cricket with the positive (not so much with whistling): so what is good in your life?

My good things:

1) Linda bought me the lastest copy of Gothic Beauty.

It shows some amazing corsets from Russia (with $600-3000 prices to match – Lily got a deal with her leather corset, which looks just as awesome).
Also a company, The Dark Angel in the UK was reviewed.  They sell Regency clothes, including men’s (men's clothes are harder to find than women's and regency style harder than generic gothic).
The company sells a nice Venetian Carnival Men’s Cloak worth saving for by The Dark Angel (I would want the hooded one, with black lining). Thanks Linda.
I did feel both foolish and disappointed when a looked up a retailer which advertised ‘Specialize in Demonic Stationery…’ Woe the daily dyslexic burden of disappointment: that was ‘Demonic Statuary.’

I really wanted to know how one ‘specializes’ in Demonic Stationery. Didn’t you?

2) We been watching last few days some episodes of Season six of Bones.
We had quit because ‘Sexy FBI guy’ and ‘Sexy Bone Doctor’ weren’t doing any sexy banter on or off cases.  To start the season the 'Team' went away and when they came back, Daisy had sent her engagement ring through her intestinal track and back to ‘Sweets’ and Booth was with ‘Annoying Blonde’ not Bones. When I read a few weeks ago that season seven focused on the pregnant Bones and her Baby with Booth, I told Linda that we had simply not hung on long enough.

We had watched 12 episodes, which is about half the season, which is why we quit, having to this dull, dead relationship with Booth and Annoying Blonde. Relationship combined with the horrific slime, mold, feces and other ways they try to make sure you never eat while watching the show made us quit. We started and not only were the dead bodies not quite so horrid, but Blond is gone (and Booth tosses a diamond engagement ring worth a years’ income into a fountain, so PAYDAY for those fountain cleaners). So, lost viewing found again for us.

3) Linda got some awesome boots in Seattle.
We went to Seattle partially to get some clothes for Linda’s job. And found in Nordstrom's The Rack (the discount of the high end stuff they finished showing in the showrooms, they send here) had some boots that were so awesome, I chipped in half just so I could vicariously enjoy them (as with full leather boots with leather double sole stitching, paying $40 or $50 more to get boots that last a decade over ones that last two years is often worth it). (Playing Nancy Sinatra’s ‘These Boots are made for Walkin’’ right now). As you can see, they even have the leather grips on the top to hook your finger in to pull them on.

We also found Linda some hard core fetish 7” to 8” high heels for a bargain price.
She said no. I pointed out that she is always saying she wants something to wear in the office, and these were definitely ‘dress to impress’, or ‘dress to be noticed.’ But as she has no desire to break her leg falling out of them, she passed.

4) During our trip to Seattle, while we got lost trying to Find American Eagle, we found some Amazing Blown Glass.
There was an exhibit of this artist for $26 per person entry or you could just get lost like we did and find displays for free.

Not great things:

My health. The last 24 days I been sicker than I have ever been. At one point, I was in so much pain that it was impossible to say still for more than a second or at best two. I simply writhed. No amount of pain medications could even take the edge off enough to let me lie still, or sit still. I took four times the maximum of the highest ‘breakthrough’ pain medication – the kind the doctor said, ‘You should be able to take this for a while, a week or so before your liver gives out’, but four times that amount and I couldn’t pass out, couldn’t sleep, just moaned, screamed, whimpered, and writhed for 12 hours before I slept 50 minutes. Next week, pulled all the muscles from under and by my ribs on my whole left side and under the front ribs so I couldn’t turn to look, couldn’t lift a utensil, couldn’t lean (four days of that before it just felt like I was punched in the solar plexus every time I got a hiccup or swallowed).
This meant that though I have a deep desired to write and contact people, I couldn’t. I did the whole, ‘focus on getting through this minute’ until you get to the next minute and then started over again. So life is like the crater of a blast zone, I am trying to accept the ‘obliteration’ and move on from there to some new normal.

Relationship wise, I have lost touch with a lot of people because I am too weak to send postcards. For over 10 days, I was unable (ribs and that) to even type. I want to ‘be a friend’ so I can have friends, but right now, I am not being a good friend – because life is getting in the way. Sorry if you have felt cut off. ‘Thinking’ about someone doesn’t cut it, I know that, and I am working each day to reach out.

With Linda: I love her. I want to be an asset in her life, someone who makes her life better. I’m not sure I’ve been doing that. I am committed to doing, taking action, every day, to make the relationship continue to grow. I hope that my last day alive our relationship will have kept growing stronger. (Is that future past pluperfect tense?) I want to brainstorm how to be romantic while feeble.

I feel like I am in high school, or uni, where I am mostly in my head, kinda brainy, but also cut off from people and those few I see don’t get my humor, or sentence structure, or Hubble Telescope view of things, which isn’t helped as my speech is all slurry.

Linda says that she can see how tired I get just sitting, how much of a struggle it is.

Some times breathing is the greatest victory. So is the art of sitting still.

I’ve had a hard couple years. I still had some great experiences and enjoyments: I got to see women box in the Olympics, live. I did my 10K last month. I went to Hawaii, Japan, sawing lava, Comi-con, Sakura-con.

I want there to be a lot more ahead. I still hope, deep down that like Gillian-Barre, this is something I bounce back from, or enough to dream of part time work, or at least blogging regularly.  Unlikely, but hope is hope, right?

I’d like to have more, but if this is all that I get, then that’s okay; besides, I don’t see a whole ‘Death’s complaint and case review’ sign.

Hope things are good in your life. Please let me know.

10 comments:

JaneB said...

Hey Beth, thinking of people IS enough when it's all you can do. At least, I hope so, because some days it's all I can manage... and I believe so, because you are still my friend and a light and a comfort in my life even when you don't email or postcard (although a package arrived yesterday - snail mail! - so I am feeling extra loved today).

Wishing you at least more georgeous magazines to enjoy!

Olivia said...

I agree, specialist in demonic stationery sounds much more interesting. So what does it involve?Pens that invoke the demons when you write their names? Evil wish fulfilment paper? (Dear diary, today was horrible, I wish Johnny would die horribly...).

You can only do what you can... are you are still connecting here on the blog.

Tina Russell said...

Hey there! Awwww, it’s always good to know you’re thinkin’ of us. Oh! Oh! I bought my first pair of sexy stripper heels yesterday. They haven’t come yet, though. And, I’m glad you’ve been weathering the storm of health stuff. I believe in you, Beth!

Anonymous said...

Good things...
nina made it to her course on regional history this morning on time despite alarm not going g off and having only 20 minutes to get ready and having to get petrol!!!
The sun is shining on Wales for once!
I am going to walk the dog!

Like the idea of the stationary....hmm any stationary really ;-)

lots of love
Nicci xx

Raccoon said...

I saw the cover – I haven't seen the movie, Dark Shadows, although all of the advertisements showed it to be a comedy. If I remember correctly, the TV series was more of a dramatic piece, wasn't it? More of a soap opera? That's kind of the way I preferred it, anyway.

I didn't really get into Bones at the beginning. I didn't really hear about it until about the third season, so I haven't really watched more than a couple of episodes. Eventually, maybe. Maybe if one of the cable channels picks it up in syndication and does a couple of marathons…

I always wondered what those little loops on the top of the boots were for. The ones I wore working in the Renaissance Faires and other assorted events I tore the loop off as being annoying. Then the paramedics cut the boots off…

The bargain boots look kind of cute, but I think for a girl a bit more petite than Linda. Now, if she were in a chair full-time, that could be interesting. And she wouldn't have to worry about scuffing the bottoms.

Some of the stained glass looks very pretty.

***

"You should be able to take this for a while, a week or so…"

Oh Gee Whiz. A whole week or so. Sounds like the doctor was being optimistic.

You know, you're not supposed to pull your muscles like that.

"Thinking about someone doesn't cut it, I know that, and I am working each day to reach out."

This makes me feel… Yeah, I know. I think about the two of you every day, too. And I feel guilty for not trying harder to stay in touch. I've got an e-mail from you to answer, and there's the "I've been meaning to give you a call" for the last couple of weeks…

But! I have something for you – I just need to get it in the mail. Monday, because tomorrow is Sunday, and all the postal places are closed.

***

Oh crud. Allison was having her birthday party tonight, and I forgot about it until just now. It started at five, it's now nine, I'll give her a call tomorrow when her actual birthday is…

Peter Gabriel is doing a tour for the 25th anniversary of his "So" album. I saw him in Massachusetts on that tour. This past weekend I had a chance to catch him on this tour. It was a great concert; people in their 40s and 50s singing along to Sledgehammer, Red Rain, Solsbury Hill and Biko. He did the whole album.

And I'm still going to the gym: two hours on Monday and Friday, and FES bicycle on Tuesdays.

Samhain is at the end of the month, and I get to give candies to all the kids, and look at all the costumes. Believe it or not, I still occasionally see some homemade ones.

So, uhm, things are decent. Oh yeah, my eldest niece just had a baby a couple of weeks ago. So does that make me a granduncle? Or something like that?

If you haven't seen Death's complaint and review sign, you need to watch Beetlejuice again.

Raccoon

Linda McClung said...

I'm glad you liked Gothic Beauty and have picked out some possible clothes. I'll keep the cape in mind. I'm kind of partial to the regency outfit;)

It's been fun sharing the couch with you and cuddling while watching Bones. I'm glad the blonde is gone, too!

What's good in my life? Besides hanging out and watching Bones with you? We've had some good conversations lately which I have really enjoyed.

Oh, and yes the boots and the other clothes shopping. I enjoy getting to wear new stuff.

Umm, my union has reached a tentative agreement with the government (my employer) so there's a good chance there won't be a repeat of a strike. And some stability for 18 months anyway.

I did some great customer service yesterday at work. The caller was really irate with one of my colleagues and once we finished our conversation, the caller was very happy. It made me feel very good about myself.

Seizing moments to enjoy life and each other. I hope we will have many more of those moments. Whether it is Sakuracon, a road trip or even just an excursion outdoors. I'm really glad the pain has lessened enough that you aren't constantly writing.

Neil said...

my dear friend Beth: I think of you hourly; I have one of your Gotta Fly bracelets attached to my shoulder bag (my Darling made me dump the waist pack, but I carry too much to fit in pockets, and a lumpy wallet is uncomfortable to sit on).

The magazine looks vaguely interesting; but the Dark Angel site is too tempting for words. If I were female, I'd have that satin bias skirt instantly. If it would fit my height, of course...

The corsets are okay, but I found really nice corsets at lustenebrae.com. No speculation, now! I got there by looking around to see if one could buy a catsuit like Emma Peel's (from the early '60s Avengers series), and how much it would cost.

The men's cloaks are nice, but I already have a full-length, full-circle cloak in black melton wool, courtesy of my Darling. It's heavy but warm,a nd fun to wear.

Linda's new boots are very nice, and I can understand why she wouldn't want to buy them. Did she at least try them on once? Just to say she'd done it? :)

I'm more concerned about demonic statuary than demonic stationery. Demonic lawn ornaments? No thanks.

Is Linda in a wheelchair in that photo?

Bones: my Darling loves the books and hate the TV series.

Your not-great things: life is what it is. If you can't send postcards, and have to concentrate on breathing instead, I understand! I know you're busy in your own special way, and I will keep watching your blog.

I'm keeping good thoughts in mind for Linda too!

Love and zen hugs,
Neil

Anonymous said...

still here zen hugging and praying for you guys) I dont worry about the postcards.. save that energy for loving where its needed most..
Peace
Jill

Elizabeth McClung said...

I was in a transfer seat for trying on shoes, Linda was in the wheelchair for the picture - the chair is too high off the ground for me to try on shoes. She bought the boots and wears them.

Raccoon: the dark shadows article was quite good because it turns out both Tim Burton and Depp had previously agreed 10 years ago to try and do a film. The soap opera was 3.5 years long on a daily basis and I think they thought to try and make it like that for two hours wouldn't be accessable to those who haven't watched it - I watched enough of it to know that it is a bit like vampire diaries where the same triangles go round and round over the years - but I guess soaps are like that.

Glad you got to see the concert

Jill: Thanks, I always work for a better life, which I think is a life working for others - it is just when base survival is distracted, that needs to be addressed.

Neil: I like the various sites, but right now, most of the corset sites are made for too short a torso, which is hard, as you either pop out on top or below. I was in Venice on the last nights of Carnival and they were selling full carnival capes there, out in the square. I promised to get one the next night, but once the carnival was over....they were gone. And I never forget, so I may be able to fulfill my intent a few years late.

Olivia: another site listed 'taxidemy' as a sales speciality.

Maggie said...

I'm always here thinking of you even if there is no postcards. Sparky and I think and worry about you from a world away. Hugs