I was to be outside, I just needed to have a quick nap. Except that the two hour ‘nap’ the day before had turned into six hours, the ‘nap’ before that had been 10 hours, the ‘nap’ before that seven hours. Indeed, Linda, who is the accountant of time, can’t remember the last time there was a two hour nap. Which is why if I didn’t have one in just two hours followed by an overnight sleep of five hours, then she would go without me.
I really wanted to go outside. But my body really, really needed sleep.
She woke me up after an overnight sleep of three hours. She decided to have a nap while I was sleeping and forgot that when the alarm for her goes off, I am 22 inches away. It saddens me that when we changed to this positioning three years ago that she still doesn’t remember.
When I got to sleep, I slept and slept and slept. I had asked her to please use the alarm and help me up. She didn’t and so I slept for 22 hours instead of 8, or 12. Which would be unexpected….but that it had occurred three days before, and two days before that, and three days before that, and three days before that, and two days before that, and two days before that…. Maybe the expectations aren’t working anymore.
I want to live. Linda hasn't told me any plan except 'as soon as you get up (on your own, and get to the study, on your own, since that's where the walker is unless Linda is using it as a clothes rack), I'll do your patches' Same patches I begged her not to put so high. Begged and begged. 'Next time,' she said, looking at the chemical burn standing raised, 'I won't put it so high'
But, as we can’t afford more than 2 sets of cold packs, I have no choice but sleep 8 hours or start to overheat, which literally bakes everything in me, like sticking a pig in the oven. Long pig. So, I sleep 12 hours a night at least 2-3 times a week, and I need sometimes to be in bed for 2 or 3 days, but we have no prep to allow that, despite it happens and has been happening for over six months.
Sucks don’t it. Particularly when neither the health authority or the GP will do anything because they decided I should be dead 4 weeks ago.
Onward the Olympics.
8 hours ago