Here is a picture a Japanese couple took of Linda and I, a week or two ago. I am standing, sort of. And honestly, while being able to stand helps getting pictures, it exhausts me like someone stabbed me and the fire inside is bleeding out.
I am leaving in a day or two to go to Sakura-con. I’ll be using INDY there, as I am too tired to wheel. That was the plan and I was supposed to take several weeks resting. Only that didn’t work out. Beauty treatment on Saturday, but too ill to go, then did some packing Sunday. Late Sunday I got fevered, got irasable and irrational and maybe all three of those go together. But I was very sick and dizzy and thought that ‘this was it’, and gave some goodbye messages.
That wasn’t final goodbye.
But I am still very dizzy and weak. And still leaving in a day (I lost a day or so somewhere).
Funny how I am now walking, of sorts, and standing; yet I am terrified each day in hopes that this is not the day I fall down and the organ failure starts. I don't know the last time I haven't had a daily nose bleed AND seizures AND stroke of some kind. But, if Linda can help us get all the crap into the van (I think we were supposed to be packed yesterday), there is, if I can recover, a possible trip to Olive Garden in the future. It is Linda’s fav resturant, so if you know a coupon, please speak now!
With new management or policies at Sakura-con, I am split between the gothic loli fest, and the fun things like free concerts and the Grand Masq (the h.nauto fashion show is an hour in the MIDDLE of the Grand Ball, on another level, and if you don’t go to that, then I can’t get into the signing – for someone who sleeps and wakes up two days later, this is all a bit overwhelming and seems heavily tilted toward the stable bodied, if not the able bodied). Plus, I can meet with the guests at a opening day meet and greet……for a FEE. I can go to tea and see gothic loli wear……for a fee (and it states that the space is SO limited no dolls will be allowed to attend, so a ‘pack em in’ party?). I have mixed feelings, but I would love some new underwear, I have no melon soda, and haven’t been to a USA store for a year: a hard year. So, here is to hoping I don’t end up in hospital.
Coming home, Linda needs to finish the tax return to get a new air con so that I don’t die the first heat wave, as the air con in the Study was toast two years ago, but it limped on…till Dec, when it died.
I am still selling some region 2 titles as well as some region 1 sets on ebay, and will off and on for the next month (raising funds).
I don’t want to die.
But I want living to be more than this. I would not wish a single day of my life right now on anyone.
I had not seen the sun set for over six months, so I took this, which, like me, is a splash of reflected colour. I am not in any way special, and I have not done anything special. I did nothing you or anyone else could not do. My only value was in reflecting to others that they mattered, and that they were special and capable of starting and doing ideas only limited by their mind; not those limits told to them by outer and inner voices. You are the sunset, in all glory. I hope you don't forget that.
For those who wait as I work to contact, write, send packages, yes, with time and pain it takes to respond and send something just for you, because you are unique, and valuabled: I apologize.
I updated my wishlist. I added some ‘furry’ books, though I could use recommendations. Also some films that had interesting trailers. I will talk to Linda about medical stuff I need; a triangle with a ceiling attachment is one thing for certain. Then I will add that too.
I took over 50 pictures because Linda said that she could never get that pink hue or the true sunset colours in a picture and wanted to. We saw humming birds doing a spring mating ritual in the air between getting the pictures.
This is the Totem pole in the Beacon Hill Park. I needed the walker to get this picture, as I couldn’t get it with the wheelchair. The eagle usually nests in the trees around it but for the last few years has nested closer into the park. This was done by the great grandfather of Jason Hunt, who did the carving Linda has on her wall. Thank you for helping me get that for her birthday.
I am trying to send out 200 invitations by May 15th, to join me in having a good day, a happy day doing something that you would not normally do, in hopes for something special to happen. It is my birthday, and if I reach it, I will do something unusual and hope for something special to happen.
Life should always be about planning surprises and looking forward for special things to happen. My life has been quiet too long because I forgot that, so: 'shame on me!'
22 hours ago