I had a fever, and fluid building in my lungs. It was a fever which would not break, and high at night, going day after day. What worried me most was that I stopped peeing, and then, later, days later, what little I peed only came out clear, whether I had eaten and drunken or not.
I was up on Wednesday, and ate, but the pee was still clear, but the fever finally broke, which as it was around 103, was a relief. I slept, for 36 hours, able only to sip a little water, a couple times. I have burned my enercise and reserve of the reserve away. I am living off of what is under the cushioins of the couch and below the seat in the car. It is all embers and ashes of embers to fire me now.
Linda was using my walker, but has one to fit her, and soon a scooter, for her to go and get groceries. Her boss said she could work at home, but the same union which, after a year, has yet to give her 1 hour paid sick leave or holiday said ‘no work without a doctor’s note’. So, once Linda had recovered some days, she took the walker and had to go to get a doctor’s note in a taxi, because if she is NEVER sick we just almost make the rent (but not this month). But after Sakura-con, after costs, after a week ill, after needing a new air con but the money comes from the Tax Refund, which has yet to be finished…..
However, the time in hospital, the operations were free - they would not release her however until she could demonstrate she had the medical equipment bought to care for herself. If she didn't have the money to buy.....we don't know, but that's where our medical emporium apartment comes in handy.
The worst week is over for her, and things will get better bit by bit until they are normal. And she is learning that three, five or ten transfers isn’t quite the same as ‘not having done anything’ but leaves her tired, aching and like other newly disabled. She doesn’t have the upper body strength to use the equipment to the fullest, but that will improve.
I’m moving less and less, as I bottomed out to get the place ready for Linda, and am changing my sleep until the air con is in, as there is no emergency space to sleep in. But with my body too weak to even produce urine for six days, and having eaten perhaps 25 meals in the last 20 days, it may take a great deal of time to build reserves. If only time was something I had, with the dizzyiness for a couple weeks and checking for loss of spinal fluid. Too tired to talk, to exhausted and unable to swallow, the sleep of eternal dreaming doesn’t sound so bad.
Still, there are a few things I’ll miss:
*Reading an intelligent story, or line: “I believe that ‘if we are made in God’s image’ then perhaps we have all degenerated from the petri dish”
*The viewpoint of Clint Eastwood; that life is more harsh than we wish it to be but better, the more we connect, and care, about each other
*The mind of Almodovar
*The Classroom: a profession unchanged in over 3,000 years Never being here to catch up to others or others to me.
*Still missing several pieces of the big picture
*Venice and old Italian Grandmothers in black shawls selling switchblades
*The good ole action film, whether it is John McCain and a donut eating police man or Ripley and her flamethrower.
*Enjoying the difference in levels between the BBC (People aren’t bad exactly) and HBO (There are no heroes). And how the BBC takes some of the cheesiest lines written to human kind and somehow manages to pull it off (Being Human Season 1 for example).
*Dreaming when it isn’t a nightmare
*Those books I bought to read, ‘In case there isn’t anything else good’
*The strength to write better than the dreck that seems thigh deep.
*Finding or Talking to someone who knows some things I know, and enough history for a good conversation.
*Defeating giants, protecting the princesses and princes, rescuing the downtrodden, living life by a code or ethos, rather than by the most convenient path.
*Doing sports, and learning how to fly a glider in real life.