Fresh powder snow for a week in Victoria. It was snow that was sticky to the point that wheeling was like creating a giant snowball on wheels, perfect for snowman weather. The colder temperatures outside meant I had moderate to severe frostbite indoors, fighting it with heaters, gloves, and watching fingers turning funny colours.
The Coho is in Dry Dock for 12 days or so as the annual fixing of the 50+ year old ferry occurs. Cheryl got a vacation day off to come over so the three of us were able to spend some time having FUN together. We watched an episode of Bones with polygamy of sisters. As one said, ‘We sisters are FAMILY, to be a sister IS to be a wife.’ I looked to Linda and said, ‘Uh, you know how Cheryl is my ‘sister’…”
Beth, “But not like...sister/wife, um, having sex...just so you know.”
Linda laughed but said nothing. She can be confusingly random in communication at times.
We watched women’s tennis. We talked. We did a jigsaw puzzle from Hunt, another of the 1/4 inch wood, soy paint for better colour, personally designed Artifact Puzzles. They are large enough to have fun by myself or with friends, and yet small enough that I don’t end up in agony doing them. Plus this puzzle had ‘fantasy’ pieces, like the dragon, Pegasus, and cat.
I was able to have this remission because of exercise on Thursday, which caused some slight pain (no sleep for a night, two nights of hallucinations, and a two series of seizure cycles of partial and clonic tonic (grand mal) seizures which occurred after falling into a light sleep state. This lasted for over an hour and was like being stuck in a clothes washer on spin cycle (eventually the hallucinations mean I find out tomorrow how long I kept going into seizures while asleep). I have been ill for the last weeks/months so that even with only one appointment a week, it was often too much for me, and I would miss it. That's being alive, but sucky. And I didn't want to dump all that on you, so I wrote about what I could, which was often the good films or books that kept me sane for hours at a time.
Thanks to ‘riding the toboggan’, I was able to have a respite of 36-48 hours. I had been constipated, taking everything I could for it with little luck. But after the hours of exercise, a series of cramps started and continued for hours which emptied my intestines completely. That cramping, I call ‘riding the toboggan’ because a toboggan is a piece of wood, plastic or steel where there is a curl and once headed downhill, steering seems to occur by how vigorous you are in screaming.I still end up soaring off of snow bumps and riding over bushes or into trees, but the screaming makes me FEEL like I have control. Either way, once started, all keeps going until it is done!
The strain and lack of sleep produces an effect which makes me look, on some days, like I have Celiac disease, with the sudden puffy face and body. The energy to get decked out in corset and knee high boots would leave me slumped by the bed for hours. Being powerless like this leaves me emotionally vulnerable, as I was able to control weight and appearance to find this ‘end stage’ of the disease takes that away too. “But Beth, you are alive when even the specialists and your palliative doctor expects you to be dead, isn’t that worth it?” I ask and tell myself.
“Maybe, but why can’t I have an end stage where I look ravishing too? I see that in movies all the time!” I demand. Those people in Bucket List or Never Let me Go, who with end stage cancer or mutiple organ removal can still head off on road trips, hikes, sky diving et al. How come they get energy while I get fatigue and puffy?
Thanks to my ‘good day’, I was able to make the second attempt for getting my hair cut and colored. This was important not just to the daily hair tangle struggle from no hair cut in close to a year but the need for Anime Hair. Anime Hair not only makes the world a brighter place (I went out in the sun for the first time in two months, followed by a howler of a storm), but life without anime hair means that a) I am unlikely to find a notebook dropped by the God of Death and use it, or discover that I am a goth-loli angel with a missing memory. Nor b) will I have chances to participate in a historical drama like Morbito: Guardian of the Spirit (with a cool, kick ass spear-woman) or even c) wander into experiences from freelance assassin (Darker than Black) to Goth Loli style detective (Gosick).
Still, off I went, looking haggard and puffy. One advantage of staying alive, plus the exercise to get blood to the scalp (keeping hair alive) is having hair of a decent length. Which is nice, as it gives the workers something to envy and comment on (except the ones who try to end up as my mother, and argue with Linda that I shouldn’t have ‘junk food’, refusing to bring the caffeine I take with a bottle of coke which speeds up my heart enough to stay conscious).
As you can see, by the end of the cut and colour, I was looking a lot less ‘ug’ and a had that devil-may-care grin back into my face. A good haircut really can make a difference.
The positive effects of the Anime Hair had me going home but doing two jigsaw puzzles, and also working through the night to write the two dozen cards for about twenty presents as well as over 25 postcards. I am sorry if your Xmas/Holiday present arrives in the next two weeks. I really had/have been trying very hard to get it done before Xmas/Holiday, but time moves faster than I. With that gust of energy, with help from Linda and Cheryl, I caught up and have, er, most...or at least MANY of the holiday presents sent. For me me, getting the gift, matching it, and writing the card all take determination, pure focus and will power along with energy. It might be a couple weeks late, but what is 20 odd days between friends, eh? Sadly, the styling energy disappeared, but, when it reappears, you know I’ll be back: I’m keeping on with keeping on.
13 hours ago