Tuesday, December 06, 2011

This little light of mine....

The one advantage of chronic illness isolation is introspection. That and hearing burglars who aren’t there.

“Burglar? Oh Burglar? Don’t kill me…the laptop is old!”

This comes up often as workers on the first shift with me keep saying, “I’ve never been in here before.” Um, okay, I believe you. Or is that you making the creaking noises in the hallway? I suppose someone new to your home who knows where everything is would be creepier.

This is important as I sometimes watch movies, the Sci Fi ones, and the adventure ones by a little tea light from the Ghibli store in Japan. A private shopper got it and some ghibli treasures for me. This is from Kiki’s Delivery Service (oh Jiji the cat, who can’t love a talking cat!). It has four pictures and a wrought iron frame of different depths (all the better for the eyes to follow you around). There is an ad for Kiki’s Delivery service and three more of cats. I find, when the wind whistles at zero degrees through the space by the air con, one candle is enough to warm up the room. With glass as an insulator, and the metal to hold the heat, for a tea candle, I get lots of comfort and warmth.

I have finally been putting together the thanks/you're cool/have fun packages which I wanted sent to people by Halloween (a holiday of good cheer and candy). (first of a couple piles for this week. But the post office is busy? Confound me but it turns out there is some holiday coming up in North America which increases the packages in the post. Gee whiz, Batman, that sure was poor timing for me.

GIFT NOTICE: If you are a Ghibli film or Ghibli product lover, now would be a good time to drop a line (mpshiel@hotmail.com) and let me know because besides getting this for me and a microfleece blanket for Linda’s bed, I managed to get some of the limited edition greeting cards with bromhide color cards from: Laputa: Castle in the Sky, Whisper of the Heart, Kiki’s Delivery Service, Totoro and Porco Rosso. As Totoro is available here and I was using a personal shopper, I ended up getting more Kiki, and Laputa items. They have planters which are so cute, I want a garden just to use them! So do me a solid fav and let me know if you like Ghibli films and which ones, so I can send the right rarity to you (oh, I have a little Spirited Away).

I also did some postcards, with the help of Linda and Cheryl, and pulled a three hour sleep night to get it all done. That might be why I crashed on Monday and started hallucinating, including having one of those ‘being hunted down’ dreams. This led to the,

“Quick, quick, bring me a gun!”

Careworker: “Uhh…no, it is a dream, you don’t need your gun.”

Elizabeth, “Yes, I do, but a knife for now, or a baseball bat…what kind of weapons can you get your hands on.”

Careworker, “I think you may still be sleeping. You are safe you don’t need a knife.”

Elizabeth, “Knives, yes, a gun would be better, I’m not sleeping don’t you realize that....zzzzzzzzzzzz”

I am aiming for finishing the number of total postcards at the end of year at 6,500. Yup, six thousand five hundred postcards in total, zowie! I hope to make the world a bit better, and I can honestly say that between me and thou, we have probably kept a few postal workers going.

Oh, I also got Linda those tires. She was very excited. She was telling me they have the little rubber bits on the side that are of no use, that’s how near new these tires are. Wow, the things to get excited over. Linda has written a post over at Girl’s Gotta Fly about trying to make the two ends of the string meet. It is the small things that break down after a year or two, or which you think, 'this will last till we get a better job', only now it is two years. So the patches for transderm and other items really are important. I was able to get the batteries. The link for the wish list is on the right (it has a few items in the Amazon.co.uk, like EMLA which we need pretty badly, as they want more and more blood), along with gift cards. If they don't send to a P.O. Box, please let Linda know at Linda.mcclung(at)shaw.ca - she has an address in Port Angeles for those who don't ship to post office boxes.

Linda also has an interview for a good job on Friday. I'm trying to be as supportive as can be. So lets root for Linda!


Neil said...

Isn't isn't such bloody fun, bouncing around from depression to hope? I've been doing that too much myself, lately.

I hope the universe is ready to allow Linda meaningful employment again; and I hope it's ready for you when you do arrive to challenge it in person (so to speak).

That's a beautiful tea light holder.

You talk in your sleep to the workers, and bring them into your dreams? You ARE amazing, aren't you? :)

Please, dear Beth, no cutting or guns. You'd leave Linda such a mess to clean up, and you'd give your birth family reason to believe they were right to abandon you. I know there's precious little hope, but please try to hang on to even the smallest scrap of hope, and love.

Zen hugs, positive thoughts for mood-lifting, and much love,

Neil said...

Sorry, that should have begun "Isn't depression such fun?"

Apparently my writing skills aren't improving with the onset of winter here on the Prairies...

MORE Love 'n hugs,

Kate J said...

Love that lamp! And good luck to Linda for the job application...
Posting this, late night, just off to bed... which is why I'm keeping it brief. I'll just go check Linda's "Girl's Gotta Fly" blog now...
Love & peace

Wendryn said...

Oh, good luck on the job application!

I love Studio Ghibli - that lamp is very nice. Kiki makes me smile, as does Totoro, and Katja will grow up watching those instead of Disney movies.

I talk in my sleep, too. I have long conversations sometimes before the other person realizes I'm asleep. It's rather funny.

I hope things even out a bit. *hugs* to both of you.

Elizabeth McClung said...

Linda has meaningful employment, and if you are reading this from parts of British Columbia, she is your designated adjudicator of fines, like a police officer of sorts. She does not make however the same grade that is required for paying for the vast parts of the social network of Canadian which do not have coverage as well as basic rent, food and other minor items, finding something more long term with the challenge for someone who teaches university, overhauls several government departments including how they do things, the tech and software they use, writing the manuals and heading the team of instructors as well as managing the actual facilities and equipment of several branches of government from Energy and Mines to Tourism - she is somewhat bored. Bored enough to be happy to do the work of the next level of management above her...for free.

It would be good is she could take the jobs she was offered, so far either short term or not yet organized, like heading the adult learning department of a university, one of her other short-list interviews.

As for me, I write my experiences, and other are always free to write theirs. Thank you on the humor crit. I sometimes forget what it must be like to know where the medication that keeps your heart beating is going to be there, and so my humor tends to reflect the uncertainy of a world where everyone seems to want to place me in the 'dead or soon to be' column and I'm working toward the Boston Marathon column.

It doesn't stop me, but such confusion over origins and outcomes does create isolation. One easily bridged I think, when each individuals is willing to make the leap of faith of being accepted as they are.

cheryl g said...

Your candle is really cool lit up and I am glad you have it for the comfort and warmth. I like doing postcards with you although it concerns me when you cut your sleep to get things done. It is important to me that you get good sleep, good food and feel safe and comforted.

Those half awake hallucination conversations with you can be disconcerting. I remember once you thought I had killed Linda and kept asking why and where did I put the body. I am pretty sure you didn’t know it was me.

My very best supportive wishes to Linda for her job interview!

GirlWithTheCane said...

I love your candle...it's important to have things that bring us warmth and comfort.

I talk in my sleep too. If I'm angry at someone in my waking life, I often argue with them in my sleep. I'm told this can be quite entertaining.

You make the world better just by being you. :)

Raccoon said...

I have to be careful around fire. It seems to burn a little bit hotter when I'm around…

I love your sleep talking reaction to burglars! "I don't care if I'm asleep, give me something so I can clobber the bad guys!"

It's very difficult to bring stuff from the waking world into your dreams, though.

An interview, yay!

JaneB said...

Many many positive thoughts for you and Linda! I hope she can get a job at least as interesting - and a bit more brain-challenging maybe - as the current one, but with MORE MONEY and better benefits - you both deserve it so much.

I love that tea-light holder... Kiki is just so cute, and candles can be very good company.

I loved the book of "castle in the air" (I do like good young adult fiction), never seen the anime, I guess that's another thing I can add to my wish-list...