Missed an appointment today because of some food poisoning issue, and having no clothes ready, and just not enough time to arrive on time. And I went and slept, and slept for the hours I needed, which I had been shaving.
I need 8 hours of sleep, six awake, two to three down, then six awake. BM’s can take 15 minutes or 3 hours. I have been trying for 2-3 weeks to make that stable, with all the tools doctors can give. But not yet. I have been trying to make the day schedule work….but not yet. That the day schedule, which sometimes happens, but then the week and month schedule screw it up too – it is like flying a helicopter.
Every week, every month there are appointments and things to be done to increase survival. I also need to shower, change clothes, and do the mundane tasks which only need planning if living sucks, like ‘taking a drink of water’ – not usually something that takes a couple minutes, or ‘looking at your watch’ – but it does take minutes now, and focus, and concentration. I need to exercise, I need to shower. I still don’t have consistent workers until Wednesday, and in the last three weeks, cancellations from Friday to Monday. Tuesday we don’t have workers. That gives me 2 hours on Wednesday, 2 hours on Thursday and alternating Thursday nights (except this month) when I will get meals, might get exercise, a shower/bath, and clothes.
It is a funny old life.
I really needed that appointment today. But what could go wrong did. The worker today didn’t follow instructions and actually put away the things I needed for getting ready to go. I can’t try again tomorrow, because there is no space or time tomorrow, but I can try again later, maybe, in a month or two.
20 hours ago