Friday I had hyperthermia, where I woke overheated and unable to move my limbs or speak for some hours until Linda came home. Saturday, after posting the blog, I slept, but grew steadily weaker. My face had been what Linda called ‘Grey’ until at 11:00, then midnight, I simply stopped responding and was unable to be woken. My bed was piled with blankets but under that my body was getting colder and colder. I was in moderate hypothermia, but not out in the snow, but under thermal blankets from head to toe and still going down.
Linda put the pressure cuff on me and the squeezing roused me, though I couldn’t see. My diastolic pressure was dropping. So blood was going out but I wasn’t strong enough to bring it back. I then went into a series of muscle vibrations and shaking, not a seizure but like extreme cold whole body teeth chattering. I was able to eat a bun with some jam, about 270 calories. I had not eaten much for the previous three days, perhaps a meal and a bit. The calories allowed my body to stabilize the heat. By 6:00 am, though still piled with blankets, I was able to maintain a ‘shock’ state, of grey and mottled arms with goosebumps, but could eat.
I am glad I am not dead, I don't know why I started going down so quickly, perhaps because I had about 4 meals all week. The calories seem to matter more now. I felt like I was slipping away, that I was losing.
I don't want to be that, a cold body for Linda to find, but this time, she was able to bring me back. And I went right to work on postcards - see, they do matter, quite a bit.
I heard it was sunny out, and having not been out in two weeks, I went to Moss Rock, with Linda taking cocoa along. I have been having problems with my right knee as each step, the ball of the knee is pulled out of the socket and then snapped back in. With two ascents, I made it to the top of Moss Rock, where I went the first birthday I had in the wheelchair. The sun was nice on the face, and I could look out over Victoria and the trees changing color.
Going down was harder, but we rested and drank cocoa on the bench you can see below in the video. I returned back to finish writing the postcards I had help stamp that morning. And then have spent the rest of the time in recovery since then.
Sun is good. I am not sure what goal to set for myself now that I am clearly dying. I think instead of trying to be what I ‘used to be’ I need to look forward and enjoy what I have while I can, and when I can. The greatest limit (besides gravity) is the inability to imagine what might be possible. It turns out this was.
1 day ago