Saturday, November 20, 2010

Incendiary Monomania and 'Nuked by Nice'

I have been working a bit on my book. It involves fire. So I read my books on fire. And about firejumpers, and arson, and Waterbombers. As a worker said after I talked for five minutes about how wonderful forest fires were, “You like fire a bit, don’t you?”

Do I tell her how my grandfather taught me how to make fires over two stories tall? How to make them hotter, to create 'Chimney's of air flow'? Naw, leave that for next visit, “Er…yes. I have a bit of ‘pathological fire-setting’, now I don't have 'Pyromania' you understand." Make the 'me nice and not dangerous smile', "See, I prefer the 19th century term, ‘Incendiary Monomania’”

Worker: “Mono…wha?”

Elizabeth: “Monomania, you know, times of total and utter fixation upon that beautiful flame, which really only wants to live and reproduce and just because it happens to want to consume every thing on the planet doesn’t make it ‘bad’ just...hungry.”
Worker: “Eh….er……”

Oh dear, oh dear, they don’t look reassured by my calm logical explanation. I tell them, “Don’t worry, Linda doesn’t let me have matches anymore, or even let me set myself on fire.”

Worker: “Yourself….ON fire..” Their face manages to make it look as if they are backing away even though they have no where to go.

I talk in that ‘trying to talk very fast so they don’t call the police or run and hide’, “Well, there are many substances which burn at less than 98 degrees.”

Worker: “Ahhh!”

“Yes, the important thing is not to Oxidize the fire by moving your arm around a lot when it is on fire, yes, that is bad. Also hair burns at far less than 98 degrees, as do hair bangs, and eyebrows.”

Worker: “Yeah, I think I need to go wash some dishes.”

The important thing is to remember: 1) lots of safety precautions and 2) don’t ever say, “Don’t worry, there’s no way this could get out of control….”
And if you end up looking like Hello Kitty here, then maybe it is time to seek professional help.
At the postcard project yesterday, I got NUKED by nice. Love Bomb asks people once a week to spend five minutes to leave a comment online with a person who is doing good, needing some cheering up, or could use some love. I think it is a brilliant idea so I joined. Confirm your email and they send it right to your inbox. They do the ‘bomb’ on Friday, and I encourage people to sign up: it is part of ‘It Starts With Us’. I figure that since ‘Love Bomb’ do the heavy lifting of finding someone to reach out to, I can certainly spend five minutes to help remind a person that they matter and what they do matters. Plus, I get to part of an organization that is ‘going to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!’......I mean, ‘change the world’ – Linda says I watched WAY too much 'Pinky and the Brain.'

Still, seems the right way to end the week.


wendryn said...

Heh. Pinky and the Brain. I love that show.

Fire is pretty. Scares the crap out of me, but it is very pretty. I am glad, having read this, that you don't have much access to matches...


I hope the pain meds are still working and that you are getting rest.


mental mosaic said...

That worker is gonna be wear asbestos hear-to-toe next time!

I saw this video once, it was footage taken by an arsonist and the way he narrated it was a surprise to me. Instead of sounding angry and destructive, the way he described what he was seeing made it seem like he was madly in love with the flames.

I will go check out Love Bomb - sounds fun, and loving, and like there might be a cool explosion in the end... Now I sound like that arson guy. ;p


Raccoon said...

I have to be careful around fires. They tend to burn hotter. And only use metal candlestick holders. The stone ones shatter. Not good in the middle of a ritual.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"No, the tutu definitely goes with Paisley. Narf."

Laura said...

I didn't know that you had an affinity for the flame like I do. There is just something captivating about watching a fire. I too have been schooled in the ways of making fire and how to control it. I am glad though that Linda has taken the matches away from you, I kinda like having you around. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall during that interview just to see the interviewers face.

Love Bomb sounds interesting. I think I will check it out.

Hope the new meds are working and you get the rest that you need.

Love and Hugs

Neil said...

Love Bomb is a cool site, but I don't need no bombs to tell me how wonderful my Internet Niece is!

Love and zen hugs,

cheryl g said...

I can very easily picture the conversation with your careworker and imagine their reactions. I like the term Incendiary Monomania too. Fire is a beautiful and necessary part of nature. The chemistry behind lower burning points is fascinating but setting oneself on fire does freak out those around you. I love the Hello Kitty picture.

I was very touched by what Love Bomb did and I am signing up. It is a lovely but simple way to make a difference and start ripples of goodness through the world. Besides, if you take over the world I am angling for a higher rank as one of your minions. I know Linda is Pinky based on the following quote from the show…

Brain: Here we are, Pinky--at the dawn of time!
Pinky: Narf, Brain. Wake me at the noon of time.

Hee hee hee, love that show…


I love winter ..I have a roaring open fireplace :)

Hope you're pain is manageable at the moment.

have to catch up for a chat again...damn timezones lol

will check out love bomb..sounds cool.

Lorna, Bob and Liam said...

Wow, thoughts about fire seem pretty good right now, up here in Nanaimo we're being buried by snow! (Which, for those of you who don't know, is a wee bit unusual for Vancouver Island).

Don't know how it is down there in Victoria, but... stay warm!

Ummm... safely, okay? *grin*

*hugs to you and Linda*

JaneB said...

Fire is definitely pretty. And yes, hungry... there's a neat scientific paper in the peer reviewed literature called "Fire as a Global Herbivore", so you're not the only one who sees it that way!

rachelcreative said...

The love bomb on Postcard Project for you is amazing. And well deserved.

Noisey said...

There is no such thing as too much Pinky and the Brain :D

I just came across your blog as it was linked from a BBC disabilty site called Ouch! and I recognise soooo many of your issues though I "only" have a head injury and hyperacusis! Pain=tiredness that nothing can permiate, yup, just a touch familiar right now.
I hope the drugs are working for you at the moment and you manage to keep on going through the snow and fire ;) I'm off to light a candle!