Friday, June 11, 2010

Sick, sick, gotta get better

Really, really sick. Sicker every day. Have written blog but no pictures, or time to post, same with kitty pictures. All that is eaten or drunk comes back, problematic, overheated and in shock, covered in Goosebumps, freezing/burning up, completely covered, arms and chest in purple mottling, heart to erratic to do anything but moan. An hour or two a day it releases then back in the bathroom, passing out dozens of times, fell, injured legs and wrist, hard to keep upright on toilet, need a strap across my ribs to keep me on, pulled muscles under ribs. Too weak, no ability for heat or cold. Am below sustainable survival, must lie there and try different things until one works. For a week now, food hasn’t be absorbed, now liquids as well. Thank you for all who helped with the comforts, they are all I hold on to, from the cold packs, to DVD’s to watch, arm bands for my freezing arms and burning body. In the small hours, in the days that pass to the sound of booming construction, these matter.

Saw a peacock crossing the road today, male in full plumage taking his sweet time. Only in Victoria do peacocks act like all other pedestrians.

Linda may be reading things to me for a while, emails, letters and such. I need to breathe. The DVD's do help. I don't know the day, or the year, I've forgotten everything, I hope it is the fever. Not at 40% not at 30%, was at 20% until tonight, more exhaustion and bathroom time, heart erratics in the extreme, pain, hours pass.

20 comments:

FridaWrites said...

I am hoping you feel better very, very soon and that you are able to absorb nutrients again so you can feel stronger and heal.

Please rest! DVDs sound like a good idea.

Rose said...

I'm sorry things are being so shitty at the moment :( I hope things improve soon :/

I bought some things off your amazon wishlist for you a while back, but they're not due to ship for a few more weeks yet, so I've just bought a few more that should arrive within the next few days - hopefully the time will pass a bit easier with new reading material :) There's some in there for Linda too.

*gentle hugs* xx Rose (of Aberystwyth)

SharonMV said...

Dear Beth,
I'm so sorry that you've been so sick. I've been worried about you. haven't written much as I've got another bad infection and also been having hypoglycemic episodes (which I can correct now that I know.) It must be so hard to deal with the fever & chills when your body can't regulate itself. Keep trying with the fluids. I'll be thinking of you. I wish the strength of my love could translate to strength of body for you.

Sharon

cheryl g said...

I am sorry you are so sick. When I come over this time you should stay in bed and let Linda and I take care of you.

Denise said...

I am sorry to hear you feel so miserable lately. I hope it gets better and you can at least enjoy a cool glass of lemonade! ♥

Christianne said...

I am terribly sorry to hear that you're at the end of your tether, so to speak, and sincerely hope you feel (at least slightly) better soon!

Lene Andersen said...

Aw, crap, sweetie. Rest, sending strength and love.

Lorna, Bob and Liam said...

Peacocks. Beauty and absurdity all wrapped up into one. Nature has a sense of irony; how else do you explain something so beautiful that sounds like a rusty door hinge?

Do what you must do to live with this part of your journey. Beth. We'll do what we can, which is very little, but we'll do it: we'll pray to our various deities or the universe in general, send healing energy to you, hold you in our hearts, witness your living, witness your dying. Love you. Care for you. Dream for you.

Love.

Raccoon said...

This does not sound good. I don't know if I want this to...

I hope this ends the way you want it to.

We are still here.

Kathz said...

Sending love, hugs and best wishes from the U.K. - I hope this subsides and that you feel better soon. Also best wishes to Linda as she cares for and worries about you.

(I'll be offline for much o9f the weekend but will try to check from time to time just to see how you are, in the hope there's better news.)

Kita said...

I hope you feel better soon, Beth. Best wishes for you and Linda.

JaneB said...

I wish I had a magic wand, and could fix things for you and Linda. Wishing for you more peacocks and less construction work! much love, my friend

deadrose said...

I used to live in an area that had a flock of feral peacocks in the woods. Always unnerved visitors to hear them screaming 'help! help!'

I hope you get lots of rest and recovery time in. Be a catgirl - cats love to laze around and nap all day!

Penelope said...

Like the others I hope you have more peacocks and less construction in your future. I also hope that the next peacock bucks the trend and doesn't act like all the other pedestrians. Peacocks should not follow the rules or try to fit in!

I hope you get some relief soon.

Baba Yaga said...

Oh, wishing you very much better things. Yesterday if possible.

Rest, certainly, and I hope some pleasant things to beguile it.

& I'm aware that that's all dead easy to say... But certainly will be holding you in mind.

Neil said...

Thinking and sending strong thoughts and positive energy for both of you, and wishing I could afford to help you with your wishlist.

I've never seen a peacock in real life; tv and books, yes, but not for real. They must be incredible creatures.

Love and zen hugs,
Neil

SharonMV said...

Dear Beth,
I hope you have been able to rest. Thinking of you. Prayed to whatever gods might listen. i hope Cheryl is there this weekend & that she & Linda are taking care of you (while you Rest!)

Sharon

Raccoon said...

OK, someone having a reaction that this post was "funny" has a really screwed up sense of humor, I think.

It's Sunday evening; I'm hoping that things have gotten worse.

Elizabeth McClung said...

Thank you very much for the comments and the concern. I went critical over Friday/Saturday night and had a toxic build-up. I finally was able to pee (the previous day had taken 35 minutes to pee). The major concern was to cool the core without causing the food to um...leave. That happened, with going into shock several times, and more stopping of breathing. Sometimes, I try, I wake, and try, the throat will strain but nothing will happen, I can't open the windpipe, I simply don't have the strength. Linda has to pull me up and elevate me - thank Linda.

She read me the letters which Cheryl brought, as I had dumped first the toxins, then three hours later the mass of dead protein. It is an interesting multicolour pee.

I was terrified, if they had not been able to calm the body and cool it, I would not have been able to be conscious enough to survive another round in the bathroom. I was in bed, out for the time pictured, then back to bed again. I am a terrible patient but I will be in bed this week. I am not better but I am not critical. There is so much life to do, and I have to lie in bed. unjust, but needed.

Elizabeth McClung said...

I have four meals in me, digested - I have not begun to heal any wounds or cuts but they aren't going septic, so that is good. I am tired of crackers and soup.