Linda is having a Birthday in a few days. It is soon. I wanted Linda to have some time to herself, and some surprises. So I used my emergency-emergency money (my emergency money went on a gift for someone) and had a shower with my care givers help. And they told me, it is was VERY HOT and I was NOT to go out (care givers are a bit like older siblings – we will get to that later!). And today another record hot day. But I figured I could make a dash for it in my wheelchair so I did and I got Linda some blue and purple orchids, and I put it in the Morano glass vase we got in Venice, which matches the colors perfectly. Plus I wrote a card because it was her birthday coming up! But, as it turned out, not her birthday THAT day. But I have another surprise present coming! So that is okay.
I can’t advise you what to get her (if you want to) except there are still a couple romances on the wishlist plus the garment steamer she wants (??) as she has to meet lots of government people in her job and needs lots of clothes ironed quick, sometimes she goes to three or four locations a day. Mostly she just steals what she wants from me. My skull bag, my hello kitty bag, my face cream (not that I am BITTER!). She likes Aveda (the salon stuff) but I found some cheaper – it is towards the bottom of the page. Or if you want to contribute toward a secret but kind of VERY EXPENSIVE gift I am trying to save enough for (it is REALLY COOL!) which is sort of birthday, death memorial and anniversary present all in one, email me and I will give you the details, and you can decide. But SHHH, it is a secret!
Also, my Gashpon Theatre arrived which I won for $1.98 plus postage. It is about three inches tall by two and a half and comes in sets which then come together. There is the night for the goth girl and her kitty and the day for the sweet loli girl and her rabbit. Remember, this is about the size of a pack of gum tall, so it is really cute and small and amazing detail. So that was my happy thing for yesterday. I like it, I will put it next to my bed on a shelf so I can lie and look at it. Kitty and goth girl!
I think I have done a post about siblings before, but I wanted to hear people’s stories now as summer is when we remember things but also because we ARE visiting and seeing each other, and having birthday parties and I want to know about what type of sibling were you? What you remember? What type of sibling did you have, so I have some examples (and yes, some brothers in there)? And with the examples I am hoping one of them will trigger a memory and you will be willing to share with us, as I shared about Linda’s gift. Also, I think you will like the pictures and questions and my stories so I hope you read it.
So, what sibling were you, were you the kind of younger sister who raided closets, did you have many sisters who raided so many closets that you ended up forgetting who had stolen what? Or did you dream about how your SISTER (who did have boobs!) had a bikini and it would be cool to wear that. I mean you could just imagine being in the beach in a BIKINI and how MATURE you would be. And you just went in to try it on, honest. You weren’t like stealing it but trying it on, when you sister goes, “And I was going to wear that this weekend!” which gives you that pit of the gut feeling of “BUSTED!” and of course being a sibling, she punishes you, and you are trying to call for mom and she is going, “Tattler!” You want to point out that this is stretching the bikini but she seems a little to into torturing you at the moment.
Or were you the older sibling who with a sigh assumed the duties of getting the rest of you in line, whether you wanted to be or not. This sibling does exist because when you all become adults, they STILL act that way and everyone is sort of scared of them visiting as they tell everyone what they SHOULD BE DOING and then there is a sigh of relief even though you love them a LOT, when they go. But yes, the hassles of being the eldest!
Or were you the one who was the ‘Stand-in’ Mom, and did the cooking because mom worked and came back late and so you helped with home-work, were the listening ear to problems or did the cooking? Or were you the one who looked up to older sister/brother and were so amazed that they let you HUG them (As none of your other siblings would without a ‘GET OFF!”), and seemed to actually like you.
Was there a big generation gap and your older sibling was SO amazing and cool? Of course, they never seemed to notice that you existed, even though you were ALL ready ready to do favors like get them and their friends drinks. And the friends thought you were cute but no one took you seriously but just getting a direct look and a smile and maybe a few minutes with your sister/brother was enough? I mean they were like FIVE (or six, or seven) YEARS OLDER, and they didn’t realize how mature and incredibly cool they were! And they wouldn’t even SPEAK to you in school. Linda tells me of how her brother used to get her to do his chores...for the privilage of him talking to her (so maybe they DID know how you felt).
Or WERE you the small and shy one, the one who DID maybe need a little looking after, a bit quiet or ditzy, or a late ‘surprise’ child and you kinda knew that you were getting away with murder (particularly as ever time your siblings visited home they said, “How is SHE doing that when you never used to let ME!” - that kinda told you). But on the other hand you would always be in someone’s shadow, always be, “Oh you are Y’s sister, you must be good at….” Or, “Oh right, X was your brother, I hope you aren’t trouble too.” It was like no one ever looked at YOU.
Did you take up a sport just because your sibling did or just because your sibling DIDN’T?
Did you get warm feelings of those moments where a small change of your clothes, some fussing over you, some showing of caring from your older sibling before the usual statement of ‘and don’t hang around me when we get to school!’ were the moments treasured. Well at least until the age you became resentful; “I don’t need your help!” and you started planning how to decorate the room when they moved out! I ask because in some ways I am like that now, as I move between ages and do need help, sometimes it makes me warm inside and safe, sometimes it is, "Why do THEY always get to decide!"
Or were you so different in personality, one so studious and good grades while the other was carefree and no one was sure if they knew what the word ‘study’ MEANT. By the way this is also exactly where I used to get stuck on the bars, never could seem to get the momentum to go all the way over and when I did, I landed on my butt, not like the girls who took GYMNASTICS and could do all sorts of cool looking things and then land perfectly. But yes, I did not exactly study or do work EARLY. And the phrase ‘ant’ and ‘grasshopper’ was used to compare, everyone knew that the other sibling was serious and maybe you didn’t know the word ‘study’ but everyone was sure that you knew what ‘procrastinate’ meant, or decide to dig out all your old toys when a report was due meant. Did people talk about your differences and wonder aloud how it was possible you two came from the same parents? Did this make you wonder if you were an orphan (I did!), and they weren’t telling you.
And why is it that older siblings always seemed to have MORE? That is what I remember, older siblings had MORE: More friends to talk to on the phone, more junk food to eat, more time to stay up late (I had to go to bed earlier than MY sibling) and more money than you. It just didn’t seem FAIR. Not that they seemed to have much worries about it. Of course their phrase was "That's not fair, when I was her age..." I wonder what it was like with older siblings? Did they know that we were more than pests, always watching them, always wanting to know what they were doing, because we cared, because we didn’t ALWAYS tattle! We wanted to keep a secret TOO, we just weren’t very good at it!
Then there is the middle child, or sometimes the younger, the “good” child, which of course the parents noticed, and reminded the other siblings, ‘Why can’t you be like…?” As did ALL the teachers. Oddly, this did NOT make you more popular with your other siblings. But often you ended up mediating, or trying to get people to calm down. You were a good and you wanted, needed maybe, to be told you were ‘good’. I was 'good' so that no one could tell what I was thinking and ever since then I have been 'a disappointment' - alas, I am good no longer! And I swear!
Did it bother you that your older sibling got to be ‘in charge’ all the time (or were you the older sibling saddled with the responsibility, how did that make YOU feel?)? That they were always left to babysit YOU, and you didn't need it. Besides they were just your sister/brother! But when things went wrong and you got lost, it was good to have them there. They always seemed to know what to do. Or did you instead argue like cats and dogs even more when in trouble and you stomped off YOUR way and left your older sibling to try and catch you?
Where you a tomboy (or for guys, I guess a bookish loner, or punk, or emo?), and your siblings, your mother wanted to know when you were going to act ‘properly’? And did you ever? Or did you just trade your overalls for jeans and boots and you mother had given up saying anything but would just look at you sometimes and sigh. “What about a nice dress….just to church?” Good luck!
Did you idolize your brother (or older sister) and want to do whatever they did, and tried even when maybe you shouldn’t have? Which made them very wary of taking you to work, particularly if they worked in the military. Or some job like that because they were older than you? Did you copy parts of your face (or other body parts) when your sibling who you now realize was just a teen/early twenties and not super confidant took you into their office job? And they freaked out?
Did you want to impress your brother and were you ‘into’ what he was into so when he was into planes so where you, and that seemed to drive him crazy, until he wanted someone to play with and then you would do? Did your brother want all the best roles in play games, and did you revolt or just be happy to be accepted in a game to play?
Were you books and your sibling sports or was it vice versa? Or were you both books AND sports? Do you like to be alone AND be good at team sports or did your world exist in the mind? I was into books, I was VERY into books and talked about authors as if I knew them. So did YOUR parents make you go to a counselor because you read too much, or didn’t have enough friends? Or force you outside in sunlight? Or worry as you didn’t have enough friends everyone ELSE could see?
Did you feel sick when your brother suddenly started questioning your father, ARGUING with him? When he would do things to provoke your parents? Did you wonder, as I did, where did the brother I knew GO? And who was this angry person left behind? Did your sister become ‘bad’ just because of what your parents labelled things as ‘bad’? And did you feel sick and have to leave the room while they shouted (I did)? It was a confusion.
So what was it like, did any of these pictures jog a memory, do you have a story you can tell? Or if you were an only child what was that like? Where you envious of families? I was envious of big families, it seemed there were better games to play with more kids. Do you have a story you will tell, because I want to know, what was it like? What type of sibling were you and how did you view your siblings? Were you the annoying pest or the one that disappeared, the one who was ‘good’ or the one who no teacher knew your name just that your were the ‘sister of…’ (I HAVE A NAME!). That used to annoy me so much, as soon as they would go, “Hey, isn’t your brother…” I would probably have steam coming out of my ears. What could I say, “No, I’m an orphan!” Well I did say that a few times. Which lead to, “Odd, that’s not the most common last name?”
Or were you the one who couldn’t wait to leave, to see the world and the adventure out there (that was me)? But what is YOUR story.
12 hours ago