If you only look at my dying body, you will never get to see ME.What is possible until I SAY it is possible? Today we have a lesson in flight, whimsy and spring. I think we all need a little spring in our lives right now. But unlike Peter Pan or Tinkerbell, you don’t have to have happy thoughts, you can be as sarcastic as you like. I encourage it; because flying takes ATTITUDE, or was that ‘altitude?’ I always get the two mixed up. No, I am pretty sure it was attitude. So grab your rock chick attitude and get geared up for flight.The guitar says: “It’s better to be wrong alive than dead right.” That’s sort of terminal people humor. Which is the first lesson in flying: one I happen to excel at, falling.
If you can’t fall, then you can’t fly, and wow, can I fall. Falling is a bit of an art; you want it to be entertaining for the spectators but not actually permanently damage you. But the point is, you can’t fly, if you aren’t willing to fall. Now staying here, on the ground, in the snow with everyone else is fine. If that is what you are made for. But there are some of us who have wings burned into us. They keep cutting them off, but somehow the wings keep coming back. So is everyone ready?
What is flying really? Well flight, with all the physics removed is being where only imagination can put you, one part of you in reality (the air) and the other part of you in desire, in wish, in imagination, in whatever and where ever you want to be, if you are willing to pay. Because what you dream, you can do. Or you can fall a bunch of times trying. I said I would rather try for the impossible and fall down for the last time further than anyone thought possible than not try at all. That is how I lived, that is how I will die (a bit of slave to fashion, I went to the doctor’s yesterday in my tank top with bats on it, and slim leg jeans – I was smoking hot – if you got to be freezing, since it snowed, then you might as well look hot, right?) and that (trying!) is how I will be spending the next little while (because here is the secret, I’m not dead yet, and I’m not dying! Well, yes my body and brain may be a little on the blink but like a TV if you just jiggle the antenna…….um, never mind). Point be that, yes, I have been down, down, emotionally crushed. And it has been a long winter, hasn’t it? It has for me, so I for one am OUT OF HERE. Let’s go ahead; you know ‘dreams’, ‘planning’, ‘intention’, ‘wild whimsy’? Let’s GO!
Okay, now was that so hard? Well actually it is, because we spend so much time stuck in there here and now with the government and the council and the other people bombarding us with things to keep us focused only on the problems: They convince us only on what can’t be done, only on barely keeping up that we are so scared that if we lift our foot off the ground, we will be lost. So you got small wings, don’t worry...they grow with time, the point is to lift off, right? For you to leave, at least for the 5-15 minutes you are here, that crap behind, because spring is coming. Spring is coming to thaw winter and I have to tell you she is a bit of a babe.
Now, first things first, I should say that I don’t just go off on lots of opium in case you are wondering in some sort of Kubla Kahn dream. No, I am working toward an actual reality and to do that I took care of myself, I had hard days, like yesterday but I got my sleep, my REST, I watched anime and ate good wholesome things, like…um…cookies.
The first thing is that people forget, they forget what CAN be. I don’t know why, because I forget everything every 48 hours and yet, I still can see what can’t be seen, and yet others don’t. They can only see hot chocolate and apple cider (not that I don’t like that) but can you see and remember THIS:
Yeah, now we are in the mood. Spring comes in bouncing and flouncing around. There are flowers peeping up where I live and I guess it won’t be long before the whole area is shouting, “Look at me, I’m alive!” And I said, “You do this EVERY year, do you have to make such a big deal about it!” But then, a truly wonderful thing happens, and I think we all know what I am talking about. Yes, the winter coats disappear and finally crop tops and all sorts of curves and cleavage appear!Err, I must have meant to say something about gardens but got lost in the Sun (whew, now I am hot looking at that picture!) Flowers.
Anyway, I have decided, as I tend to do, that I will have a bikini this year. Linda says, “But you have a great one piece!” And then after looking at my wasted form went, “But you have the figure needed for one!” I am not sure that was overwhelming support but if it works for anime girls it will work for ME. The problem is I need someone to bring me one of the super support ones from Japan so it LOOKS like I have DD or E cups when I have something slightly further towards the front of the alphabet.
The other thing I am learning besides the fact after careful watching of MANY anime shows, that a girl in a bikini can a) get away with just about anything, b) drag off all the girls to ‘talk’ and make the guys all frustrated and c) have more fun, LOTS more fun. The Bikini girls are always having fun, and I think the more accessories you have the more fun you get (I am not sure of the formula, but I am willing to keep trying!).
And then AFTER you have all the fun, I get to have the NAP with the other bikini girls, which I want to point out is MEDICINAL. I am not sure why it is illegal in six states, but then two of those have dances were 10 year olds promise their sexuality to their father in a wedding veil (Chastity Dances) so I am not sure they have a lot of FUN in those states.
Oh, and if you have a catgirl with you, try to make sure you are on the other side of the bed, as cat girls have some unusual habits, like purring in sleep, and stretching a lot and tail twitching in their sleep. Also when they want to wake you up they sit on your face, which can be nice for the first second or two.
You may have realized that you have been sucked into a blog about nothing at all, just a bit of whimsy and pictures to brighten what seems to be a hard week for a lot of people. And you are right. And a little bit wrong. Because I will fly, I will go to Sakura-con, I have put things on ebay and sold them, I am taking action and deliberate inaction (they call it ‘resting’?) because who knows what is possible until you try. And who knows what to try unless you dream. I am tired of dying, and I think I haven’t been doing enough dreaming about what can BE recently.
See, if you know that something can BE, like for instance you WILL get a shot of me in a bikini because I WILL buy one. Then I will work toward that, and while I work hard toward that strange men will send me very wrinkled dollars in the mail with the message scrawled: ‘get bikini, many pictures!’ – So I guess another bikini wax too - oh FUN! In similar news (similar how exactly?), I did get again this week another offer for sex, written in email, not not cyber sex but like, "come to me and have sex, or let me come to you!". When the one from Africa asked me, “Why you be lesbian, why not fly here to have sex with me?” I was sort of not sure what to do (since they person was pretty sure I wouldn't be a lesbian after sex with them). However, when the email came this week from a woman saying she had read my blog and that I looked to be the good, GOD-FEARING and upright husband for her, I was a little confused and said to Linda, “I REALLY have to put more pictures of myself on the blog.”
So sort of a message. I am getting out of the apartment this weekend, I am hanging out (next to the daffodils which are just coming up), and maybe going by the sea side to take a look at the seagulls and the crazy people surfing, and flying kites. I am going to think more about what I CAN do, than what I am leaving or losing, because that is a bore (an painful bore called grief, but still I want a vacation from grief).
And I suggest you do the same, I know that where I am, I have flowers and you have four feet of snow. But you can’t find a flower to smell and think of what it will be like, and what you want to do, and how the taste of fresh strawberries and farmer’s market peas will be like? Give it a try?
Because like me, spring is coming, flowers and all, and I know that winter is still pressing down on us, but for the last couple minutes, you flew. Yes, you thought of bikinis and watermelon and spring and if that is possible, and if I am going to get a bikini and go to Sakura-con (Maybe not at the same time!) what isn't? So those are MY dreams, my ‘possible’ where are YOURS?
20 hours ago