Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Three things the world needs, starting with Victoria Secret lingerie and me

I went to the doctor today after only a few hours sleep (long story but short oxygen capacity), and it turns out, that I am really, really, really, REALLY, REALLY SICK. Wow, I know, could have knocked me down with a feather, well, you can do that most days but you know what I mean. So, I am going to see a whole bunch of specialists or get referred because my health needs to be taken to a whole NEW level of ASS-covering, I mean the care and doctor’s oath and non-malpractice suits. By the way, if anyone in BC wants to sue me for libel of our fine system, please due so, I will be representing myself at the BC supreme court from inside the tin can (‘urn’ Linda says).

So while I am going to see all these specialists, lets instead look at what you really came for: yes, me and lingerie. So, without further ado, here is it, me, rooting away, looking for the tastefully sex depraved look (or was the sex-DEPRIVED look!) at Victoria Secret. I know, you wanted to see me IN the thongs, well, don’t worry, that is coming, this is called: foreplay.

By the way, I am in very bad condition, as in, I can’t do a blog I have been working on for two days, but try again tomorrow, okay. So this is the filler. Because I really am in VERY bad condition: seizure cycles and all sorts of fun stuff, like falling over sitting down and I think there was having my head spin around and pea soup come out, and then crawling up the wall like a spider….no wait, remind me to tell Linda NOT to play the film The Exorcist when I am sick.

So I am taking it easy because while the first thing the world needs is more of me in Victoria Secret (and manga – hint hint – wishlist – hint, hint!), the second thing the world needs more of is me. Yeah, that’s right, meglo-maniacal me! I think this place is better with me in it. It is a personal opinion but one I sit by. Also, when I am dead, we can test it out whether I was right or not. Plus, who else but I gets to wake up in the morning to this as a response to an essay I wrote following my trying to break up Pedophile Rings with the London and Cardiff police:
“This is coming from a homo-SEXUAL. Dear, you've put your sexual desires ahead of morals too. It's like listen to an pot-head lecture about crack addicts. So please, enjoy yourself till Judgment, and stop judging.”

Wow, I love being on a continent where someone can not only condemn me, tell me THEY will be there to judge me but imply that there is nothing wrong with THEM having sex with 8-10 year olds because they are CHRISTIANS (and fundamentalists to boot?). Dude, when someone is smashing a TV with a baseball bat, it isn’t “judging” to say, “That’s bad for the TV.” So when someone does the same sexually to a child, it isn’t judging to say, “Maybe you are sick in the head and need the kind of counseling the Metropolitan London Police can provide!” So that was my wake up mail, sort of an honor in a way, to meet the only person never to masturbate ever (that’s what ‘put your sexual desires ahead’ meant right? Or was it the sex between two legally married people? Or sex at all. I am always confused how the people who are the most AGAINST all the types of sex think the world gets populated anyway?.... it is with lesbians and fertility clinics, that’s how!)

Anyway, we can leave all that behind us and focus on what else the world needs, and that is more Catgirls. I have to love this one because this is Catgirl is either going to first year or getting ready to go to college/Uni – yup, our punk leaning Catgirl who wears the cut off Collar just to make the older Catfolk turn and tut-tut this young Cats today what with the piercings, the painted nails, and the general attitude. Well, it really takes us back (except for people who are AT uni teaching them every day, sorry, they do grow out of it). Look at me, I am almost out of my goth/punk/tramp stage!

So, if I sit REALLY, REALLY still tomorrow, I might be able to get the blog done. You will like it, I assure you. There is nudity! Woot!


Tammy said...

Yes, the world needs you!! I think more than you realize.
I am sorry your having a rough time of it (I'm sure that's like saying a blizzard is a little snow). I hope to hell the doctors do something this time. It is simply rediculous and cruel that they don't even offer you appropriate pain control. Okay, so they don't *know* exactly what is wrong with you, but if they would just make some effort at treating your symtoms and giving you pain control, then perhaps your health would improve a bit.
As for the email...oh please! How on earth can someone compare homosexuality with pediphilia??? AND the condescending "Dear" would really rub me wrong.
I hope the TIA's and seizures are at a minimum today and you can get some rest in. We got close to a foot of snow last night, so I'm home from work and snowed in, but I'm not complaining..I need a NAP!
Take care of yourself!

Lene Andersen said...

I guess it's good your doctor's so concerned about his malpractice insurance that he's finally getting off his arse? I guess? (at which point I'll pause for muttering obscenities in his general direction)

OK, I'm back!

Love how the logo on your sweater matches the PIBK! on the walls. Now, that's commitment!

The world needs more you. Way more you.

Abi said...

What? You mean that you are ill? How did the doctors work that out? They must have amazing powers of deduction.

Are they actually doing the arse-covering, then? For supposedly intelligent people, they have taken a long time to cotton on to this as a cunning plan to avoid all sorts of trouble for them. And also to possibly make you feel better.

I think that this place is better with you in it, too. Please stay a while! And take it easy while you are doing that, too. I think that there will be a parcel waiting for you when the ferry is working again, so it is imperative that you are alive to receive it. OK? (I am such a cruel taskmistress!)

Victor Kellar said...

Victoria Secret ..sigh .. Well, for Collette and I its become the Stag Shop, where we seem to have become the favorites of the manager, but more about that some other time

That letter was hilarious .. and sad and baffling. Well, not baffling really. Morality is an artificial construct, at least the way it is preached, and like religion, its sole purpose seems to be to justify whatever fears and hate the user wants to cling to. So its not surprising that they feel comfortable adjusting their moral framework to meet their own needs. Like, having sex with a kid isnt abuse as long as we are of different genders and therefore not yucky gay people .. which can put them a peg above the same sex pedophiles. Oh lucky them, to be in such a vaulted position ...


Anyway, have a good day, I still really dont get the cat girl thing, but they are pretty cute

FridaWrites said...

Hmm, so the doctors just now figured out you're really sick? Like passing out and seizures and your heart stopping and autonomic dysreflexia aren't serious... Sorry at my dark humor at their expense. I'm just sorry that your health has taken such a bad turn and wish you were doing as well as a year ago.

You know, people wear clothing from mixed fibers these days and no one objects. That was also in the Bible but was considered a high sin. So those cotton-polyester wearing Christians are going to hell. Selectiveness, ah selectiveness. We can't let religion interfere with doing what is right, and I think Jesus was pretty liberal and noncondemning and told us to be likewise. If two people love and marry each other, how can that be wrong? It's just not.

People have also used the Bible to uphold slavery and racism and oppression of women.

JaneB said...

They TELL us that they might grow out of it... but part of me hopes that the really original ones don't, it looks so fun! Wish cat girls (and maybe a few cat-men?) came to our place instead of the usual...

cheryl g said...

Way to make a brilliant observation Doc. The patient is really sick – how many years of medical school did it take for you to be able to make that determination? I just can’t see you representing yourself from a tin can or an urn. I would think a Goth Hello Kitty or Skull and Crossbones lunch box to be more your style.

I am in total agreement that the world needs much more of you. You in Victoria’s Secret, you spreading the word on the joys of manga, you being you…

I wish the creeps who send you emails like that would just go back under their rocks and not bother you ever again.

Yes, more cat girls in the world and more kittens, more purring fluffy balls of love. That cat girl and your commentary remind me of my college days as a leather and chains, green crew cut wearing punk rocker. It drove the uni administration nuts because I was an honor student too. This was on a campus that tried to ban the wearing of t-shirts and ballcaps with beer company logos, liquor company logos, or anything else they considered to promote suspect morality. Since it was a public uni the ban was overturned by the courts but that gives you an idea of the administrations attitudes.

Yes, sit still, watch movies, rest. There is absolutely nothing else you must do, except keep breathing.

Anonymous said...

This place is better with you in it. Much.

Dawn Allenbach said...

Thong panties -- I still don't understand them.

Ooooooh, I am so far behind. I think tomorrow night will be catch-up evening. Tonight is finish the meiosis lecture evening.

*hugs* Rest easily and well.

yanub said... got actually sick, as in sick on top of the dying, or just the quack realized that maybe you aren't well after all? Either way, if it results in you getting some proper care and respect, good!

That response to your article is, well, skeevy. I feel that people who can't tell the difference between relations between consenting adults and child predation are dangerous. If they don't know the difference, how can they be trusted to treat children as children and to honor adult commitments?

Maggie said...

Yes, the world needs you in it. Don't think otherwise. I hope you are resting and not having one, long continuous lesbian sleep over.
Besides, what would I do with all of this mail that I'm picking up for you?

Lots of love-Mags

Laura said...

A very nice light and fun Blog Beth.

Raccoon said...

A British member of NAMBLA? Or just a fundie? Yeah, they got the "judge not lest you be judged" going on pretty well...

Another round of specialists? Where are they getting them from? I thought you had pretty much gone through all of them that were close to you.

Ah, cat girls. A great way to close.

Oh! Just read of a rewrite of Pride and Prejudice: "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance -- Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!" being put out by Chronicle Books. Looks like it could be completely silly...

Devi said...

I'm sorry you're not doing good (or even less good, you know what I mean) health-wise.

Regarding the "stop judging child molestors cause you're homosexual" person (if he even deserves to have that term applied to him) - if anyone needs explained why two adults of the same sex loving each other is utterly not even in the same galaxy as an adult molesting a child... let's just say it takes people like you to maintain my faith in humanity in the face of that.

As for that lovely catgirl though, I would've loved to go to college/uni with her.

SharonMV said...

Yes, we need more Beth! The world needs you Elizabeth. And I do! I wouldn't even know about all those lovely Cat-girls if not for you.

I also hope the ferry is working soon. I'm sure you'll have lots of cards, letters & packages (including one from me). And I've already made another little project for you that I'll mail in a day or two.

Love, Sharon

Queen Slug said...

Color me surprised! I thought you've have to be in the ground before your doc got worried about covering his ass.

As far as the idiot emailer, I can't even come up with anything that isn't just a nasty stream of vomitous hate so I'll be quiet on that.

I thing the world could use a few more sacks full of you & I am glad we are blessed with at least one.


Gaina said...

Yup, the world definitely runs better with you in it.

I think someone should tell Victoria she hasn't got a secret anymore cos it's all out there in the shop window for everyone to see! :P

Elizabeth McClung said...

And today, in REVERSE order:

Gaina: Yes, she really isn't keeping much of a secret through she does have a great secret of how to make guys look really, really uncomfortable while waiting.

Queen Slug: See, I think he was hoping I WAS a mental case and now he realizes I will be in the ground as I haven't seen him in about 5 months (he prescibes over the phone) and hadn't noticed my loss of weight, speech, oxygen and other MINOR details.

Well, I was only one thing one the list, and to be honest, if I was going to choose between snuggling up to me with the wheezing and the oxygen machine and punk cat girl - hoo boy! No question there! I will now await Linda to wack me on the back of the head.

SharonMV: Thank you, I admit I am in mail deprevation, but sending as well as recieving, to have not many postcards going out, instead of 50 or 80 or goodly numbers is sort of making me itch, all those people who NEED a postcard. Plus, I can't sell things on ebay to save money for hawaii if I can't get off this island - vote me off please!

I look forward to another package from you! I should figure out what to send, that is the problem, what to send you?

Devi: Well, I am not really pro-bad health for me either but I am hoping this is the lull before REALLY good health!

Yeah, it is just great to wake up to comments and emails like that. Zowie!

I too would have loved to go to uni with that catgirl - just to see the profs cringe when she raised her arm for another question about the 'imperialist patriarchal structure' - haha!

Raccoon: I think they have, these are either at hospital or they are over in Vancouver or maybe up island. I figure when they send you to a specialist NEXT to the graveyard, you have sort of hit bottom.

I am very curious about this new book, zombies and Heathcliffe type over the top writing - could work!

Laura: thanks, this was my 'short' blog if you can believe that!

Maggie: I will live for mail! No, not a continious sleepover but some nights of cocoa and conversations, it is okay, some nights of seizures and being carried around - not so okay.

Yanub: No, he hadn't seen me for a while and he has noticed that....wait for it, I am probably dying. But he will book some specialists just to make sure. hahaha. While he charts my falling anemia.

Yeah, nothing except to say I totally agree with you on that response, and to be honest, I don't give in to my seuxal urges as much as I or Linda would probably like - I think I need to work on being condemned MORE!

Dawn: I know you are overworked, you have to prepare a new semester, put in your corrections and everything else, I am just glad you are okay.

Thongs - if you have NO FEELING in your ass, and you hardly ever poo, that really helps! I don't know if I was who they were thinking of but it works for me!

Anon: I heartily agree!

Cheryl: it turns out that I agreed with everything except the sitting still part, I went out, I did medicals, I did shopping, I didn't figure out the resting part but NEXT WEEK, I am sure I will figure it out by NEXT WEEK, honest!

Go catgirls! Go punk catgirls. you should be a punk catgirl.

Jane B: (scribbles in file) oh, a few catmen? No problem, well small problem but nothing I can't overcome. Yes, they do look like they are having fun, I think that is why I like dressing up in corsets so much and the stockings with bows and the arm warmers - it makes everyday into something wonderful and when an 70 year old man asks, "What do they call those things on your arms" and I say, "Armwarmers, cool huh!?" And he goes, "Um, yes, very." - yeah, it rocks!

Fridawrites: I know, it is amazing that after only about 150 tests more THIS year, with about 20-25% off in the 'danger' zone, he has figured out something might be WRONG.

Hey, I am just glad they don't put us out of the city for being "unclean" in tents every time we get our period - I know there is selective use of the bible but I figure, "select less, not more!"

Yes, we are even LEGAL. haha!

Abi: Yes, the arse covering isn't particularly brilliant as my GP wrote to the GOVERNMENT OF CANADA to tell them I was dying then decided NOT to commit it to paper in order to give me case I got addicted.

The specialist that diagnoised me, decided to NOT treat me as she doesn't know what to do, but not admit that, so she simply does nothing and as she 'has the case' nothing is done period.

Oh fun, an Abi prezzie - is there going to be a graveyard in this one too (see I remembed good emotions like that!).

Lene: Yes, I was hoping Victoria Secret would scout me for thier diversity sort of the "cripples love us too!" but they didn't go for that, the did think I was like 25-27 however and refused to let me buy things that weren't sleepshirts (hey I want GROWNUP nightwear!).

I am glad you are back - can you imagine the havok we could cause in the same city.

Victor: Sorry, missed you somehow - the STAG shop - I must look this up as it sounds like a place you buy pipe tocacco?

Yes, exactly, I think, I try not to figure out exactly what moral they might be using today, as once it goes from, "Sex with kids okay for me but you bad" I kind of lose the plot.

Well, they are cuddly like a cat, but they are a girl too, and have twitchy ears!

Tammy: Well, I am pretty sure I need the world, so a fair exchange!

Oh well, into every life a little erratics must fall. I hope to hell they do something as well. Oh they know what is wrong with me, they even recognized the treatment Cheryl offered but said that without a specialist recommending it they wouldn't propose it as it was 'too expensive' - $2000 - becuase MSA patients stop producing cells in the marrow, so there is a special injection to help that. How could he know the medication and not know what it was for while explaining why he wasn't going to give it to me?

Take care of yourself and get that nap, as things went, I didn't do so well on the resting thing, better luck next week?