Okay, socially I am compelled to speak out about a “lifestyle choice” that is seems to be spreading. You see people doing it publically in sunny parks, behind closed doors (of course!) but now though recently rightly considered a PUBLIC THEAT these same people are now, according to a 2008 article, allowed to pleasure themselves on a plane, as THEY PLEASE. I am of course talking about knitting.
Yes, the lure of the yarn, Canada, the same country with legalized same sex marriage has as the number one blog, Yarn Harlot. I think the name says it all, and if it doesn’t, the names of the colors of yarn, the skeins, range from Eye of Jupiter to Dream in Color Smooshy and Maui Sunset. Do these not sound like drinks you have had, or the names of that waccy tabbacy or LSD? Yes, there is something seriously addictive about knitting and it all starts with this: the spindle. Sure, we have been warned by fairy tales to STAY away from spindles (and knitting), but do we listen. No!
I myself would probably be clacking my own special titanium needles, if my hand eye coordination were not so crap. Why? Because it is alluring, the colors, the texture, the softness, the click, clack, click, clack. The whole experience lulls you softly to the dark side. And yes, there is a DARK SIDE. Knitting has no limits, no restrictions on its ‘lifestyle’, one just goes from one orgy of color and creation to another until it is TOO late. Things like rules, like morals, mean nothing to a dark side knitter. Yes, all was shown to me in this book, Loose Knits (I really have this cover), “Her private life was her own business.” Well, I think we all know what that means. Sigh. Oh the tales that cardigan could tell!
Why does this man have droplets of sweat upon looking at the Cat Boy?Is it his erotic Uke charms (Uke is the traditional younger, more femme in a japanese male/male pairing) and the intricate pleasures of fur? Most certainly, but also because he knows that, yes, HE is a knitter (dare he approach?!).
And these women, don’t those eyes tell it all? I think so. Yes, they are knitters too! They are probably off now for the erotic pleasures which are the only interludes between their knitting projects (Now that I write that it sounds sort of fun...wait!...see how easy it is to be sucked in). There is no boundary, country, sexual orientation; lesbians do it, gay guys do it, straight people do it, bisexuals do it. So alluring.
Approach knitters with CAUTION! I am not saying that ALL knitters have got to the place where it all skeins and patterns, schedules and new needles, more colors, variants of patterns, breaking tradition, breaking rules until nothing matters!!!!! But some are. Here is a tragic case I see all too often. Young girls, allured in by the easy pleasures of knitting, but then find modern world too dull, too confining when a skein and two needles can make anything you imagine. They start hanging with the wrong element, looking for those fast and cheap thrills to fill that hole which knitting made. Yes, that’s right, you down the left, with your knitted cap and ear flaps, a good girl once but now, just another member of a 'girl gang'. A life wasted....for earflaps? Sigh.
Here we see a knitter who has just finished her project, floating on what is know as ‘knitter’s high’, yes, she is in her own world, dreaming of her next pattern and her next color, shall she use the swing needles and Jewel of the Nile? Nothing can reach her now, as she floats on the feeling of a project done. Even when they aren’t knitting, in a sad way, they still are.
This Uke is a knitter, and proud of it too, so boldly does he look in the eye. That is the confidence of someone who has completed several patterns, who has created a pattern variation and successfully knitted it. “But, but,” I hear you say, “as long as he is happy.” Well yes, he IS happy, but what about those around him (and what about his poor Seme who never gets to play or hold him, as the Uke is now so obsessed with knitting?), how many yarn widows and yarn widowers have we across this great land? I am a workaholic but knitters go FAR, FAR beyond anything I could do. They dream knitting I think, as every spare second, every minute waiting for a doctor or on a plane is spent, knitting, knitting, knitting. The closer they grow, they more they cling to those who speak the language of patterns and skeins and fall away from those of us who still love them. Love like this, my first girlfriend, who didn’t in the end have time for me, didn’t even talk. And when I could get her to relax, what is she reading? SOB!!! A book of PATTERNS! Yes, I knew then that I had lost her to knitting.
Of course, it doesn’t stop there, as knitting leads on to embroidery and all sorts of other hand-crafts. And while Kamikaze Girls is a great tale of a mismatched couple of girl who fall in love, it is also the embroidery love song as a girl who does her own embroidery ends up working for Baby, Star shine bright (VB rose, another manga/move also is about a girl, caught in the delicate web of sewing, of knitting, of embroidery).
Am I saying that all knitters are bad? Of course not, but to see this beautiful cat boy in a kimono, NOT enjoying the sakura Cherry blossoms because why? He is deciding that he should start that pattern over with a skein of Blue Hawaii rather than Belladonna. Can he not see the beauty around him, the moon, the flowers, the petals, the stars. Sadly no, only the skein of Blue Hawaii.
Here is a classic trio who have enticed a newbie into the lure of yarn and knitting. First, the one of the left is obviously aroused thinking of all the ‘help’ she will be able to provide this newbie in a community where people help each other with projects all the time, hands touching, knitting needles clacking, the soft rub of yarn…. The girl in the middle is the ‘catcher’, the one whose enthusiasm for knitting and how EASY it is pulls them in. Little do they know that a lifetime of knitting obsession awaits them? While the girl far right is already away, now that the little fish reeled in, she is back with patterns and possibilities. Oh, what will be made next? Already anti-social, even as she has convinced another to join her ‘lifestyle.’
Nor do I say that knitting (in moderation...with therapy) is bad, in fact, so many people seem to enjoy it I think there is a lot of good that can come of it; but much like pinball machines, we have to ask ourselves, what of those poor people for whom it becomes an obsession? There are literally so many patterns, so many people, like Yarn Harlot or Yarnophiliac who have openly embraced their addiction, who gladly push it on to others, not knowing if they can handle the strain. There is no way to complete all patterns, and yet, sometimes it seems that knitters will try. That the dozens of gifts will all be knit, that socks and sweaters will be done in record time. More, more more!
We finish with the fruits of labour, a knitter who has finished with her scarf and is enjoying a well deserved rest. Is that what you see? Because the truth is, she isn’t even looking at or enjoying the scarf she has made. WHY? Because that isn’t a book she is reading in enjoyment, no, it is a SCHEDULE that an enabler like Lene has created for her. No, no! Look at the trees, the park. But, for her, it is TOO LATE, she is already realizing that she is 90 minutes behind on her knitting schedule. And that is all she can see. No she didn’t turn delinquent, but there is a lonely lover waiting somewhere for her, who will have to wait some more.....she just needs to finish these socks before she can head home.
15 hours ago