Sunday, December 28, 2008

UTI fun! We head to the big city for lingerie. Go catboys!

Okay, today was supposed to be the start of the new exciting adventure where the innocent small town girls go off
with wide innocent eyes to the BIG metropolis in order to get steamy hot panties, bras, lingerie, negligee’s and the other essentials of life (like…..bikini’s?).

However, in a medication review it turned out that our doctor had messed up the doses so we were short and thus I spent my time and energy in a waiting room of women with UTI’s (All the doctor’s clinics are closed, and have been since Dec. 23rd – everyone is at home, today is the first day that walk in’s or any clinic is open and having HETERO sex is a common cause of a urinary tract infection – thus I had an almost 2 hour wait as women went into the consult room, came out, went to bathroom, aide got cup o pee, person got prescription and walked out looking much happier). See, just ONE of the dangers of the spreading threat of heterosexuality that you aren’t warned about! I don’t have a problem with ‘the hetero’, I think I have a friend who is ‘a hetero’. I just don’t ask or talk about my sex life so if they are one of ‘those hetero’, you know, the ones with their parades like Thanksgiving Day or July Fourth, New Years with rampant hetero displays, I don’t bring it up. I ask, “Hey, you see that k.d. lang concert?” or “Did you buy a full size wall pic of Angeline Jolie?”, you know, non-sexual questions.

Okay, I got the meds with literally no time to spare, was raced to the boat and have a rough crossing which helped induce a grand mal, then ended up with a mild case of frostbite. So far, I have to believe things will look up tomorrow because one thing that helplessness induces is fear. I am vulnerable, very vulnerable, I sit there waiting for the boat to dock for 10 minutes and I get frostbite. I am afraid, but I am going anyway.

Monday is when I visit Victoria Secret for the sale. Ironically, stripped panties must have a big following in Japan because my wheelchair girl figurine has them, and so Linda bought ME some. Which was sort of odd, but here is another anime girl doing what I will be doing tomorrow, trying on jeans. Since Linda took off my jeans two days ago without unbuttoning them, we are PRETTY sure, I am now two sizes smaller. Wow, would have thought I could drop from a 16 to a 6 in just 12 short months! I call it the Elizabeth wonder diet, and all you have to do is have massive amounts of radiation given to your thyroid to make it go wonky and have a fluctuating blood pressure, and you too can look like me. Yes, your hair may fall out, but no pain, no GAIN. There is a book in the lobby for $24.95, called, From Healthy to Thin: the new diet Revolution. Yes I will be doing signings.

Anyway, I have to head out in the morning so off I go. I will be cuddling up to Linda in the non-infectious and lowest STD phenomenon which is sweeping the nation, true love. Well, also bisexual and lesbian pairings. Woo hoo! We shop together, we sleep together, we buy provocative clothes for each other, and we get to kiss in public now (legally!). Hope you have a good night, and wish us luck, tomorrow I am searching for corsets, and stuff at Hot Topic clearance sale and then on to Tall Girl for jeans.

Then probably more postcards – I just did all the lesbian postcards, and the gay cat boy ones. Can you tell? I don’t think it has changed my worldview at all (we NEED more gay catboys – okay lets start with catboys and THEN move on to gay cat boys nibbling each other’s ears! And catgirls.....ohhhhhh.....yum yum!). Nite!


Anna said...

Good for you I hope that you'll, all three of you, find some really nice lingerie and jeans for you.
Take care.
I myself is going to work for two days, the a mini vacation for almost a week. AHHHH and I have a cold, feel a bit crappy but not too bad.

Think I might go shopping for a dress tomorrow.

About yesterdays post, genderblender, well, I don't even bother my brain with trying to get a hang of witch is witch. :)All I can say is that one of my favourite movies is Farewell my Concubine.

Have a nice shopping day

Lene Andersen said...

That's so the right mindset in which to go lingerie shopping! Hope you have a blast, get some nice clothes and I'd ask if you were going to model it all again, except Linda might have issues with that?

and p.s. this straight friend of yours would totally do Angelina Jolie given the chance. And Isabella Rosselini.

p.p.s. wait.. did I say that in public? ;)

Dawn Allenbach said...

Oh, you make me giggle. I'm hetero, but not the "Ew! Those girls are kissing!" hetero. I believe in love, no matter how it comes to be. In fact, three of my best friends are bi, and two other have been known to suck face with girls despite sleeping with men. I carry my keys on a rainbow colored lanyard that used to have SBNN (straight but not narrow) written on it, but age has faded the marker letters.

I saw a corset last night that made me think of you and Linda. It was Christmas dark red with black accents, and I pictured you wearing it and saying, "Happy Christmas, Linda. Come unwrap your present!" *giggle*

You get sexy underwear. I get fun socks.

I'm putting a letter and small present in the post for you tomorrow (Monday). Have someone keep an eye out for it.

Neil said...

Don't take life seriously, since nobody gets out alive anyway.

Still, taking frostbite and grand mal seizures in stride is a little strange. But yes, go for the important things in life: jeans and enjoyment.

My day yesterday was spent in bed with a migraine, brought on by I have no clue what. Today, I shall go walking, simply because it's only -11C and there's almost no wind. It's nearly warm out there!

Love and hugs,

Victor Kellar said...

Sure you are just like that girl because you are buying jeans, not that you would ever take the opportunity to show off your new striped underwear ..would you?

Have fun. I love lingerie shopping, and no, not for me, well not directly anyway

Lisa Moon said...

Ohh, I'm envious of your shopping trip! Lingerie puWhrchasing sounds like grand fun. Will there be changeroom pictures for us smutty readers, LOL?!

While I'm glad you get to buy new jeans I am sad that you've gotten so tiny through very unhealthy means - obviously not of your choosing.

Model thin and tall might be what fashion magazines tout but it's not truly what you'd wish for in real life. I'm pleased that you seem to have retained some of your lovely muscles from being so athletic.

I only comment on this as a worried friend (and yeah, I'm also a mum!) who wishes she could plump you up a little, you know, for health reasons. :)

If you can drink smoothies (a not too thick shake consistency) I'd love to make you a yummy fruity one sometime; could be a nice break from the Gatorades.

Also, I was serious about the manicures and would love to give you one - no charge, just for fun. When/if you feel up to it, just let me know!

Now that the snow finally seems to be melting and I have some new wheels, I'll be able to get out and such!

Also, this might be a little weird, but the girl in the jeans with the thong panties... was rather stimulating, in a way. Sheesh, it's a cartoon, Lisa!

But I do know I'm NOT hetero and happily so. Somewhere I musta picked up some of 'the gay' because I didn't think I was once upon a time... but that's another story.

Enjoyed your post and wishing you all TONS of shopping fun!

PS If you are interested and feel up to it, there will be a New Year's dance by the same womens' group at the Ukrainian Cultural Centre. It's casual or not as you choose, and the dance area is wheelchair accessible, although I'm not certain if there is a separate accessible washroom as the regular women's room really isn't roomy enough.

I might go, though I can't really dance, but it's neat to see so many women having fun (all women welcome, lesbian, bi, straight, trans, intersexed)...

Let me know if you gals might like to check it out.

thea said...

Good to hear about the shopping and I hope you find clothes you really enjoy! Not good about getting your jeans off with no unbuttoning.

I adore the white dresses in one of the later pictures. The frills and layout and cleanliness and innocence in that picture is very appealing!

I think as long as you don't sign in blood, you promote what diet you like and I bet you some *&%$wits will sign up for the full program. What does everyone else think? Hey you could promote Ebola... that causes *massive* weight loss! All that oozing...

Actually I did hear of someone thinking seriously it would be a good idea to spread some typhoid or something in countries where people are getting fatter... For 'community-based weight loss purposes' or something. I think this hypothesis was basically because they observed people recovering from typhoid had often lost heaps of weight. Er, yes, that's *if* they recover at all.

But on with your shopping trip - A much more noble cause than taking typhoid all over the place...

Maggie said...

Oh the joys of hetero love. Not all hetero love leads to UTIs, just when you do it right, with the right sized equipment....ok, I'll stop there before you yell and strangle me!
Hope the boat trip isn't too much and see you soon for presents!
Lots of love.

yanub said...

The worst thing about UTIs from het sex is doctors who accuse us of somehow not knowing how to clean ourselves properly. Oh, it's never the man, is it? He couldn't possibly be harboring bacteria. He also couldn't possibly be harboring any other STDs, right, doctors? Seriously, guys, if your girlfriend has a UTI, demand that your doctor treat you both because you both have it, you just don't know it yet.

Have fun on panty patrol!

SharonMV said...

Dear Beth,

Hope you have fun tomorrow shopping. Every time I see a Victoria Secret commercial, I think of you (I'm still hetero - but like to think of you & Linda enjoying all the pretty things).

I had the thyroid radiation thing too. The treatment wasn't bad, but the aftermath was not good. Took quite a long time to get my thyroid levels back within a normal range.

Hope you are whisked from one store to another - nice, well heated shops (but not over heated) with minimal time out in the cold.


Abi said...

Ooh - underwear shopping! I don't like that very much, but I think that I would do if I had boobs. Mind you, I am a standard size now, so it has improved; I did not appreciate the M&S bra fitting woman telling me that my bra was too big. I hope that your trip is successful. I can't wait to hear the report!

Your crossing sounds horrid, as does the desperate rush to get there. I hate travelling in a rush, as it is so stressful. Ugh.

Your wonder diet seems to be mightily effective. However, although you are endorsing it so whole-heartedly, I shall endeavour to lose weight via a different method, instead.

Oh, and thank you for your understanding of my sexuality. I know that it can be a bit uncomfortable to associate with people like myself; I shall try to be discreet about it ;-)

Anna said...

Hi, hope that you not posting means that you, Linda and Cheryl are having a blast in Port angeles. I wish you a happy New Year, meaning good doctors, hope, remission and restand some joy and love.
will be away and not in reach of a computer. Bye for now

Gaina said...

Nice to see the EFM sense of humour has kicked back in!

A girl actually showed up at University dressed as a black cat just before Christmas. I thought it was delightfully eccentric, but that's what I get for mixing with artists! Haha

Happy New Year ((HUG)).

Abi said...

Ooh yes - gave baby sister the cat hat for Christmas - she loved it and went around most of Christmas with it on her head. Oh, the joys of being the most beloved older sister! Anyway, she is now doing the cat girl thing on and off. Just thought you might like to know...