Well, the Americans and stuffed with Turkey while for the rest of us it is just another cold day (except for those in Australia, where summer is starting). And of course, like most people, our thoughts turn to not politics, or such things but LESBIANS. Yes, what is it that lesbians do that make them so fun to make movies about, and why are they always in groups squirting water on each other. I mean, they get to do and say what they want, it is like having lots of great girl friends, which is why a lot of hetero women (the poor confused things), like hanging with...yes....LESBIANS.
I don’t remember much of earlier today, except little bits now and then because I had a well, all I remember is the amount of pressure made me think that my eyes were going to fill with blood and then I lost consciousness. And when I woke up later I thought I was a person who killed people and brought in heads for bounty. And Linda explained that she is my handler and that Cheryl is my sister who I COULD have sex with but I don’t. But since my memory is of being the domestic maid or assistant to various males before I would find their moment of unhappiness and then free them from it (usually in back with an ice pick to the heart, with a twist to destroy all four chambers. But when I showed how then my handler Linda she said, “NOW, you’re scaring me.” Then she made me promise to not kill them tonight – I explained there was no reason to ‘expedite’ them (I only 'expedite' men!).) I explained that after ‘expediting’ someone I cut off their head and carried it out, usually wrapped in plastic in a cloth shopping bag, something to go with the economic station I was using at the time. Then I would be paid $5,000). I really wanted to go and find some target and make some money since Linda indicated not so good (I tend to have overlapping memories and go with the most vivid ones). Linda, said that my most vivid memories were actually a series of dreams during and after my seizure and that now I was sick and I was not to kill anyone today. So, that’s out she says. Just to let you know.
So what DO lesbians do when they get together? Well have baths together of COURSE! No, really we talk family and politics but no one wants to hear that so we will go with baths, and pillow fights! Seriously, once I woke up we had a bit of a party with a roast. Part of the reason for Cheryl to come over was to help us, both Linda and I a break; me in not having to work five to ten hours a day on Linda’s stuff, that is Cheryl’s thing now. The other plan was to get me some reserves in some hopes that my heart is able to stabilize because right now two chambers are working about 60% and the other two chambers are more like 40% and I am maxed out on all three pain killers and heart meds, which are just masking agents, when I switch over (need to take more) it hurts so much to take a breath that I pass out a little each time.
So we invited Strength to our party (we certainly NEED her!), which was a roast with corn and wine to toast to Dawn and her Brother, who died a year ago yesterday. Dawn right now is struggling with grief and memories AND working hard on a fellowship due on Friday. Maybe we should send Strength to go visit her too! But we toasted and of course, the problem is that once you invite Strength, you don’t know who is going to show up, which turned out to be Temperance. Now this is the problem, Temperance is HOT, but after the fifth time of going, “Yes, yes, I know ALL the reasons why I should drink water and its essential cleansing properties!” and then drink my red wine (which is good for my heart – take THAT Temperance), she essentially goes into the mental “high maintenance box.” This is where you might have a one night stand and stay ‘good friends’ but sheesh, living with that kind of obsession all the time, not for me! While Strength, dang, I wamted to BE Strength, not to sleep with her, because she is action girl AND has a big kitty – sort of living bliss!
Earlier we had gotten in some books from Japan, art books that were recommended (it turns out my MEN, and I thought they were women – or maybe they were recommended by women…strange women!), and there was one artist that had a lot of really great pictures including some um, very girl to girl friendly pictures. Only there was three girls, it seemed and there was a object which looked honestly like a hot dog bun closed on a hot dog, and a white dot for censoring over the end. We debated over this and in the end gave it to Cheryl with, “Hey you said you knew lesbians who like gay porn, tell us, what IS that?” Turns out it is some sort of anatomical rendering of well, the guy bit. I was, “Are you SURE, I mean, look at that seam down the side, that is definitely a hot dog bun!” She suggested maybe he was using a hot dog bun as a model, but that this was the “classic cum shot” – the what? Anyway, we were like, but they are three women? Then I remembered being told about a type of Japanese animation which is a popular subcult where women are changed and have the male bit which allows you to pee standing up but otherwise all normal. So we concluded this was that, and then turned the page quickly. Because looking at girls with girls in the “classic tumble” scene (you know, two girls sprawled across each other because one fell and then the other just HAPPENED to fall on her and they are just having problems getting up) equals FUN, looking at hot dog buns= “Ewwww!” – this is why I am against the rampant ideas of heterosexualism which are taught in schools.
Anyway, things sort of degenerated from there in terms of sexual inuenndo. And here is a picture of Linda, who is looking pensive and far above the shenanigans of Cheryl and I who are going, “Lady if you can do that with your breast, go back and see your enhancement surgeon because he did it WRONG!” Or, “Hey, a Wedding Day MIGHT be the time to wear a BRA, sheesh, trying looking in the mirror once in a while! Jeez!”
While actually she is coming up with even more complicated and potentially lewd short comments which as you see here leave me not only speechless and blushing! Oh Linda, when oh when did you see female anal strap-ons? I know about the Feeldoe but have you been shopping without me. Hey (alarmed expression on my face) what exactly is happening tonight! And Tomorrow Night!? Cheryl says she brought her ipod and can put the sound up REALLY loud! Er?
Well, after I woke up and clarified who my handler (Linda) says I can have sex with. First she was, “Cheryl is your sister, but you COULD have sex with her, only you can’t.”
“Is she bad at it or something?” I asked.
Linda’s face went funny, “No, I mean, she not literally related but you don’t have sex with her.”
“I’m pretty sure I can satisfy you,” I said, and after a moments thought, “and after I'll have sex with Cheryl?”
Linda decided to have a more direct talk with me on who I am allowed to kiss or not! I told Cheryl “I’m sorry, I can’t have sex with you until I satisfy Linda!”
This is seems was the WRONG understanding.
I think Linda actually likes it when I lose most of my memory (except when I tell how I kill or remove a head), because she gets to play keeper or mentor or older sister or something. She is bossy and she seems to be having fun. Off to the bath we go! Hey, if I am going to be nestled in Linda’s breasts who am I to complain? But I just want to point out that is a waste of a vibrator rubber ducky to put it THERE.
Another thing I found out is that with Cheryl here, the people taking “care” of me not only outnumber me but they actually work in concert and I definitely feel in a minority. For example, when they decide I need a cool down, Linda and Cheryl actually seem to enjoy my yelps, and congratulate themselves on how well they are doing. You can see Cheryl here yelling lewd suggestions as well as places Linda might have missed. Linda is having a blast, Cheryl is having fun. My face says, “Cold!”
After this we watched an episode of Bones Season 3 where Bones and the Agent kiss (I tell you that Hetero stuff is EVERYWHERE!). So of course, I had to demonstrate to Linda that whatever they can do, we can do better, and longer, and with more tongue! Er, if Linda's mom is reading, then just forget I wrote that last part! Anyway, after several minutes of, um, proving that hetero is just a passing phase, we were both so overcome with our success that we had to take a moment to stop and sort of take a few deep breaths (remember I have a bad heart). Also, somehow, our clothes had becomed loosened. Odd how that keeps happening.
Oh, is it too late to say this might not be a PG rated blog? Anyway, here is a nice PG rated picture. Linda says it reminds her of us, that and another picture I will show you tomorrow of the same couple (no photo right now). This is from Maria-sama, one of the best loved girl’s school lesbian themed anime dramas. Linda sees herself as the taller dark haired one and I am the shorter brown haired girl. I think Linda sees herself as the tall girl not because she sees herself as more mature, but that I am the one who always has my emotions right up there in the front of my face! While Linda is the one who has a calm and less emotional demenor even while I drag her into things. Or at least that is the way it works when we are at our best. Plus with me in the wheelchair, she is taller than me now. That’s just the way it is.
And for those who made it down this far, we are going to take a small break. I went today and got my Bisen protected and a few of them in the framing department with custom matte so I could get them framed. This was one of them and one of the few guys I have, since I prefer girls (you might be just noticing that by now!). But he is in the traditional wear and with a mask that often worn at festivals. So I thought it would be a nice change for people who made it this far and LIKE guys (I mean besides the bisexual and gay guys who read this blog). I have heard this rumor. Is it true, does this guy look nice? I really can’t tell the difference but I know that other women see different types.
Anyway, it is late and I have to try and start going to bed at a normal time like 2:45 am instead of 5:40 am or 4:00 am! Let’s see, we hit anal sex, cum shots, the um ‘hot dog bun’, strap-ons, lesbian bath scenes, hot lesbian kissing and disrobing, what am I missing. Well, the bed scene, but since we have company, we are doing the “big lesbian romp” where we START sleeping separate and then, well, who is with whom when we wake up, who can say, accidents happen and people roll in their sleep. Now that is Linda and I in each other’s arms, and Cheryl with her arms back taking it all in with a sly smile. But who is it that joined us? Oh well, the more the merrier. Maybe tomorrow we will do postcards together (no that’s not sex slang, it is postcards, you know, cardboard and such?).
See ya……in the bed? Part II tomorrow.
8 hours ago