Thursday, November 27, 2008

The great Lesbian Sleepover - Part I (again!)

Well, the Americans and stuffed with Turkey while for the rest of us it is just another cold day (except for those in Australia, where summer is starting). And of course, like most people, our thoughts turn to not politics, or such things but LESBIANS. Yes, what is it that lesbians do that make them so fun to make movies about, and why are they always in groups squirting water on each other. I mean, they get to do and say what they want, it is like having lots of great girl friends, which is why a lot of hetero women (the poor confused things), like hanging with...yes....LESBIANS.

I don’t remember much of earlier today, except little bits now and then because I had a well, all I remember is the amount of pressure made me think that my eyes were going to fill with blood and then I lost consciousness. And when I woke up later I thought I was a person who killed people and brought in heads for bounty. And Linda explained that she is my handler and that Cheryl is my sister who I COULD have sex with but I don’t. But since my memory is of being the domestic maid or assistant to various males before I would find their moment of unhappiness and then free them from it (usually in back with an ice pick to the heart, with a twist to destroy all four chambers. But when I showed how then my handler Linda she said, “NOW, you’re scaring me.” Then she made me promise to not kill them tonight – I explained there was no reason to ‘expedite’ them (I only 'expedite' men!).) I explained that after ‘expediting’ someone I cut off their head and carried it out, usually wrapped in plastic in a cloth shopping bag, something to go with the economic station I was using at the time. Then I would be paid $5,000). I really wanted to go and find some target and make some money since Linda indicated not so good (I tend to have overlapping memories and go with the most vivid ones). Linda, said that my most vivid memories were actually a series of dreams during and after my seizure and that now I was sick and I was not to kill anyone today. So, that’s out she says. Just to let you know.

So what DO lesbians do when they get together? Well have baths together of COURSE! No, really we talk family and politics but no one wants to hear that so we will go with baths, and pillow fights! Seriously, once I woke up we had a bit of a party with a roast. Part of the reason for Cheryl to come over was to help us, both Linda and I a break; me in not having to work five to ten hours a day on Linda’s stuff, that is Cheryl’s thing now. The other plan was to get me some reserves in some hopes that my heart is able to stabilize because right now two chambers are working about 60% and the other two chambers are more like 40% and I am maxed out on all three pain killers and heart meds, which are just masking agents, when I switch over (need to take more) it hurts so much to take a breath that I pass out a little each time.

So we invited Strength to our party (we certainly NEED her!), which was a roast with corn and wine to toast to Dawn and her Brother, who died a year ago yesterday. Dawn right now is struggling with grief and memories AND working hard on a fellowship due on Friday. Maybe we should send Strength to go visit her too! But we toasted and of course, the problem is that once you invite Strength, you don’t know who is going to show up, which turned out to be Temperance. Now this is the problem, Temperance is HOT, but after the fifth time of going, “Yes, yes, I know ALL the reasons why I should drink water and its essential cleansing properties!” and then drink my red wine (which is good for my heart – take THAT Temperance), she essentially goes into the mental “high maintenance box.” This is where you might have a one night stand and stay ‘good friends’ but sheesh, living with that kind of obsession all the time, not for me! While Strength, dang, I wamted to BE Strength, not to sleep with her, because she is action girl AND has a big kitty – sort of living bliss!

Earlier we had gotten in some books from Japan, art books that were recommended (it turns out my MEN, and I thought they were women – or maybe they were recommended by women…strange women!), and there was one artist that had a lot of really great pictures including some um, very girl to girl friendly pictures. Only there was three girls, it seemed and there was a object which looked honestly like a hot dog bun closed on a hot dog, and a white dot for censoring over the end. We debated over this and in the end gave it to Cheryl with, “Hey you said you knew lesbians who like gay porn, tell us, what IS that?” Turns out it is some sort of anatomical rendering of well, the guy bit. I was, “Are you SURE, I mean, look at that seam down the side, that is definitely a hot dog bun!” She suggested maybe he was using a hot dog bun as a model, but that this was the “classic cum shot” – the what? Anyway, we were like, but they are three women? Then I remembered being told about a type of Japanese animation which is a popular subcult where women are changed and have the male bit which allows you to pee standing up but otherwise all normal. So we concluded this was that, and then turned the page quickly. Because looking at girls with girls in the “classic tumble” scene (you know, two girls sprawled across each other because one fell and then the other just HAPPENED to fall on her and they are just having problems getting up) equals FUN, looking at hot dog buns= “Ewwww!” – this is why I am against the rampant ideas of heterosexualism which are taught in schools.

Anyway, things sort of degenerated from there in terms of sexual inuenndo. And here is a picture of Linda, who is looking pensive and far above the shenanigans of Cheryl and I who are going, “Lady if you can do that with your breast, go back and see your enhancement surgeon because he did it WRONG!” Or, “Hey, a Wedding Day MIGHT be the time to wear a BRA, sheesh, trying looking in the mirror once in a while! Jeez!”

While actually she is coming up with even more complicated and potentially lewd short comments which as you see here leave me not only speechless and blushing! Oh Linda, when oh when did you see female anal strap-ons? I know about the Feeldoe but have you been shopping without me. Hey (alarmed expression on my face) what exactly is happening tonight! And Tomorrow Night!? Cheryl says she brought her ipod and can put the sound up REALLY loud! Er?

Well, after I woke up and clarified who my handler (Linda) says I can have sex with. First she was, “Cheryl is your sister, but you COULD have sex with her, only you can’t.”

“Is she bad at it or something?” I asked.

Linda’s face went funny, “No, I mean, she not literally related but you don’t have sex with her.”

“I’m pretty sure I can satisfy you,” I said, and after a moments thought, “and after I'll have sex with Cheryl?”

Linda decided to have a more direct talk with me on who I am allowed to kiss or not! I told Cheryl “I’m sorry, I can’t have sex with you until I satisfy Linda!”

This is seems was the WRONG understanding.

I think Linda actually likes it when I lose most of my memory (except when I tell how I kill or remove a head), because she gets to play keeper or mentor or older sister or something. She is bossy and she seems to be having fun. Off to the bath we go! Hey, if I am going to be nestled in Linda’s breasts who am I to complain? But I just want to point out that is a waste of a vibrator rubber ducky to put it THERE.

Another thing I found out is that with Cheryl here, the people taking “care” of me not only outnumber me but they actually work in concert and I definitely feel in a minority. For example, when they decide I need a cool down, Linda and Cheryl actually seem to enjoy my yelps, and congratulate themselves on how well they are doing. You can see Cheryl here yelling lewd suggestions as well as places Linda might have missed. Linda is having a blast, Cheryl is having fun. My face says, “Cold!”

After this we watched an episode of Bones Season 3 where Bones and the Agent kiss (I tell you that Hetero stuff is EVERYWHERE!). So of course, I had to demonstrate to Linda that whatever they can do, we can do better, and longer, and with more tongue! Er, if Linda's mom is reading, then just forget I wrote that last part! Anyway, after several minutes of, um, proving that hetero is just a passing phase, we were both so overcome with our success that we had to take a moment to stop and sort of take a few deep breaths (remember I have a bad heart). Also, somehow, our clothes had becomed loosened. Odd how that keeps happening.
Oh, is it too late to say this might not be a PG rated blog? Anyway, here is a nice PG rated picture. Linda says it reminds her of us, that and another picture I will show you tomorrow of the same couple (no photo right now). This is from Maria-sama, one of the best loved girl’s school lesbian themed anime dramas. Linda sees herself as the taller dark haired one and I am the shorter brown haired girl. I think Linda sees herself as the tall girl not because she sees herself as more mature, but that I am the one who always has my emotions right up there in the front of my face! While Linda is the one who has a calm and less emotional demenor even while I drag her into things. Or at least that is the way it works when we are at our best. Plus with me in the wheelchair, she is taller than me now. That’s just the way it is.

And for those who made it down this far, we are going to take a small break. I went today and got my Bisen protected and a few of them in the framing department with custom matte so I could get them framed. This was one of them and one of the few guys I have, since I prefer girls (you might be just noticing that by now!). But he is in the traditional wear and with a mask that often worn at festivals. So I thought it would be a nice change for people who made it this far and LIKE guys (I mean besides the bisexual and gay guys who read this blog). I have heard this rumor. Is it true, does this guy look nice? I really can’t tell the difference but I know that other women see different types.

Anyway, it is late and I have to try and start going to bed at a normal time like 2:45 am instead of 5:40 am or 4:00 am! Let’s see, we hit anal sex, cum shots, the um ‘hot dog bun’, strap-ons, lesbian bath scenes, hot lesbian kissing and disrobing, what am I missing. Well, the bed scene, but since we have company, we are doing the “big lesbian romp” where we START sleeping separate and then, well, who is with whom when we wake up, who can say, accidents happen and people roll in their sleep. Now that is Linda and I in each other’s arms, and Cheryl with her arms back taking it all in with a sly smile. But who is it that joined us? Oh well, the more the merrier. Maybe tomorrow we will do postcards together (no that’s not sex slang, it is postcards, you know, cardboard and such?).

See ya……in the bed? Part II tomorrow.


Neil said...

Ah, American Thanksgiving. I give thanks that we can enjoy 1.5 thanksgivings: our own in October, and then the American version by being inundated with USA culture. That also explains why Cheryl is there two days early. Hi Cheryl!!

I love the positive view you're taking of the day. Your heart hurts like hell, but there's girls to trip over, so life is good. Yes, positive thinking is wonderful.

I won't try and comment on the rest of your entry, since I'm a hetero, hairy male. But what is it with the hot dog bun? Does nobody have any other images of male anatomy???

Oh, maybe one other comment. The fourth girl in the photo is Moderation. Every should be taken with Moderation, including moderation. I think it's an order from above, or something. I guess that means something like, save some for tomorrow?

Cheers, love and hugs to all of you, and try not to wake up the neighbours with pattering feet :)


Lene Andersen said...

Strength is BEAUTIFUL! Could be I'm a tad influenced by the big cat (although if I had my way, mine would be a tiger), but wow... Glad you have that card, just looking at it makes you feel stronger! Well, made me feel stronger, anyway - am hoping it does the same for you.

That sleepover was pretty hot and the first picture, all fiery? I'm pretty straight and I'd totally do her! ;)

I love that once you find the men's "moment of unhappiness", you'd set them free - I love the way your mind works (although am also glad your "handler" was there so it remained in the theoretical). Gotta say, though - freeing someone from unhappiness is only worth $5000? That seems like a bargain...

Drake said...

Hmm... just so long as you don't stab me in the heart and yank off my head. Not that I have a pretty head or nothing, just like to have my eyes so I can read your blog ;D

I can't imagine how it must be to lose your memory constantly. I somehow do know tho what you mean by vivid memories actually being dreams. I have bouts where I wake up and can't "get out" of a dream for literally min's at a time. Sometimes it's scary as I am half aware that it was a dream yet half confused on wether it isn't maybe reality.

To me, being hetiro is the only option as a male... If I was female, it might have been a different question or is that a typical male thing to say.

Hmmm...this coment is starting to sound very familiar, especially the part I was going to write about having been the victim of a non-hetero having a crush on me and not having the same feelings...

At any rate, sleep tight & don't let the bed lesb-... ughm bugs bite.

Joan K said...

Enjoyed the Yuri anime very much! I may have to try some of that later...

Joan K

Who is stranded in Thailand (all airports are closed) in the midst of a possible coup. Thanks for the pleasant diversion.

Victor Kellar said...

Of course a lesbian sleepover is all about pillow fights, bubble baths, and helping each other with pesky lingerie ...

You wouldnt actually sleep .. would you?

Linda McClung said...

Aw Sweetie,

Thanks so much for making me smile and chuckle.

When you were sharing how to excise people's heads it was scary. Your mind a very fascinating - but scary - thing.

About me being your handler - I'm getting used to variety of occupations I acquire - handler, guidance counsellor, and fallen woman. Handler is the most unusual by far!

Looking forward to part 2.

cheryl g said...


You know if you keep talking about them everyone will want to come to our slumber parties.

You know Sis, your knowledge of assasination techniques is rather daunting. I was very relieved when you reassured Linda and I that we were not targets and our heads would remain firmly attached to our bodies.

I feel I need to put in a disclaimer. I do not believe I am bad at sex. At least I have never gotten complaints from partners. They have made exclamations but those were definitely not complaints.

From pillowfights to postcards - how fun!

belledame222 said...

Those are great pics. I'd never understood the whole anime thing, but I'm beginning to get the appeal, I think.

I haven't been commenting regularly for a while, but I did want to say that I've been thankful for your blog and your presence, I think you're awesome in so many ways, always have.

thea said...

I think if Linda is the handler then maybe she needs a harness. What do you think, Linda?

You're right, here in Australia it is not a cold day. I'm wearing a sarong, and we do not celebrate Thanksgiving. Around this time of year the only significant thing is 'summer', unless you count different people's religious festivals but not really mainstream ones.

Lisa Moon said...

Before I get distracted again from this post, my friend just left Australia from his vacation and her reported it was raining there on the famous beach area... not Bondi... aw, crap I hate this memory lapse thingy! :(

Anyway, ahem and hmmm, very... stimulating post! And yes, being a still fairly newly out queer kinda gal myself, I've only been privy to a few sleepovers, but let me just say, even those 'hetero' ones we had as teenagers? They ALWAYS involved pillowfights. In our undies. Which were sexy, of course. Then, the wrestling when the pillows went flying... ahhh, I remember it well. You know what they say, all girls are straight - until they're not/they're like spaghetti, straight till they get wet and hot!

omg, sorry, that was not a PG comment, either (blushes).

Must go cool my brain off, methinks it's overstimulated!

Tammy said...

Yep, stuffed with turkey, and it was delicious!
Your mind can be very scary. I'm so glad I'm a girl and I imagine Linda and Cheryl were feeling the same sentiment after your description of your occupation.
The pictures are beautiful. As to the guy one, from the opinion of a straight girl:Extremely beautiful picture,but too feminine looking. I prefer my guys to have a bit more masculine features than that, although his eyes are beautiful.
It sounds like a fun day, after the brain explosion. I'm glad you ended up having a good day.

Elizabeth McClung said...

Neil: I think it is better to look at thongs and girl flesh than be grumpy. Something I learned um, I don't know, when Cheryl showed me how to let the inner pervert out!

I am curious why you wouldn't comment on the rest of the entry as the lesbian sleepover is the great hetero male voyeur fantasy, and here I am giving you front row seats!

Honestly, I had heard the usage for discription as sausages, mushroom and others but this genuinely looked like a hot dog bun (no hot dog, just a big piece of bread).

Lene: Yeah, she is, that's why I like, why sleep with her - BE HER! And her giant kitty companion.

We all liked your comments, particularly, the "I do her" - yeah Lene, sweep her into your wheelchair smooch into the sunset!

Well, most men in power are unhappy and the time to find release is in unhappiness, it is also when they are least alert, so it is cathartic for both of us I think. $5,000 a job is the pay, do you think I should ask more. I do get the wages from being a live-in or domestic as well. They keep the head.

Drake: Please, I do not "Yank" off heads, I SEVER them, becuase after an initial garrot there are some significant bones to go through like...a spine. That's why I recommend double baggie with ties at top, in case there is a pinhole leak in your first bag. So, no yanking and I think you are safe. Since my handler seems to have retired.

Well, I don't know, some of these Uke boys that I see make me think that a pretty boy wouldn't be ALL that bad, if they didn't have the dangling bits (which I guess guys find, sort of essential!); and hair, which can be waxed. But then, they say that you can fall in love with the person, the soul, regardless of body (Graviton, a famous boy love series is about this)- so maybe that is true. In which case, just being with the person would overcome the minor side effects (though am I planning on changing him, oh yeah, there is some waxing in your future dude!) - that is my attempt at possible heterosexuality.

Well, see that guy fell in love, but you didn't. But I am sure you have or will fall in love and maybe they won't be the person who recipricates. I will say when I was walking around I went to the gym and there was this girl with long hair but totally build and I was really turned on, a straight cut long hair on the treadmill but as I got closer I just couldn't see the lines for the jogger bra until I was like, "Oh, a guy!" and then the attraction faded - but I guess androgyny works for me...up to a point - or rather, I did think the person what hot, but I guess I was shallow enough that once I found it was a guy, I wasn't going to be hanging around that particular treadmill.

Joan K: I highly recommend it - I love how you sign in from all parts of the world - I hope you get out of Thailand becuase isn't that thier 3rd coup in two years? Did you go to Chatachuk market in Bangkok on the weekend?

Victor: Well the sleeping allows us to snuggle up together, so that is allowed to, along with making many desserts that involve whip cream which the mixer throws everywhere and we have to lick it off each other's noses, I think. That probably happens tonight!

Linda: Well, I think you are a very adaptable person to as you can be a guidance cousellor or a handler for an assassin, that shows a certain flexibility. When I have so few memories, I have to rely on why I have, I don't know why those ones where so extensive and vivid, but they were. I am glad this made you laugh, it makes it worth staying up late getting all the good pictures to go with it!

Cheryl: I am glad you enjoyed it - the thing is, what I put down is what I remember and I think that was the least of the 'racy' talk, and when did Linda learn about strap on anal dildos - or do I want to know?

Um, I think some of that might have come from when I studied slang and professional killing, as in people who make killing a checklist and have all the variations worked out, people who kill whole families in huts in remote villages. Also from Wisconson Death Trip. I don't know where the rest came from. The truth is, my own existance daily shows the resilance of the human body but also stories of people slipping in the bath and dying show the fragility of it.

I think we have a challenge here: Does anyone want to take up this challenge and volunteer to collect some emperical data - is Cheryl good in Bed, or not - I actually already volunteered by my handler says no!

Belledame: Cool, it is great to see you, and I am glad you like the variation within anime. I admit, I am so used to it I don't know what people unused to it might see, I guess it is like staring and impressionist paintings all the time, you get used to all the different artists. For me, I find the expressions of the females, particularly of depression or isolation, loneliness, despair or even joy are a good visual aid to my story.

PS - am I sending you a postcard, and more important if not, can I please?

Thea: Um, in groups for assassination or "wet work" (killing, stabbing, etc), the 'handler' is the contact, the one person the person trusts who deals with the giving out of assignments, that way the person can't go rouge and kill everyone in the larger organization and they have denyability.

Ah, I think it would be a more than a challange to Neil to wear a Sarong in this weather, are you wearing a bathing suit or just the Sarong, I am only used to wearing a Sarong when planning on going swimming later.

Lisa Moon: Well, this whole post was supposed to be a big tittilation, so I am glad that worked.

quite honestly, your sleepovers sounded WAY more interesting than Linda or my sleepovers - maybe becuase CHURCH sleepovers aren't meant to be pillowfight, fall into each other's arms and body's material.

I like the spagetti comment!

Tammy: Glad you are all fed with turkey and yes I am glad I am a girl but I think you are referring to me killing as to opposed to volunteering to be the fourth in the picture down at the bottom! Come to the sleepover!

Thanks for your evaluation, the picture is beautiful, I find him ethereal, guy but with the traditional clothes and surrounded by flowers somehow more than just a guy who goes, "So where is the remote?!"

wendryn said...

Nice pictures! ...distracting, too. :P I want to come to a sleepover! Xander might feel left out, though. Hmm. That wouldn't be fun. Oh well.

We spent the day cooking together. He did all of the planning and most of the cooking, and I did some cooking, cleaned house a bit, and raked leaves and such outside.

I'm glad you are having a good day, even with the heart pain.

I have a few dreams that are as strong as memories and come back with certain stimulation (no, not that kind!) - in one, I'm standing at the top of a very steep hill in San Francisco and watching someone flip a new penny out of a second story window. I know I never saw it, I remember dreaming it, but it's as clear and present as memories can be.

I'm going to finish washing dishes so we don't have to deal with them tomorrow. I hope you continue to have a good weekend!

*HUGS* (gentle ones)

yanub said...

Oh, you whacky lesbians with your parties. I know from TV that not even prison can deter you from crazy shenanigans and steamy scenes.

Now, that young man in the picture, he isn't terribly masculine, and that is why he has that Mona Lisa smile, because he knows he is safe from being decapitated by you since you might mistake him at a distance for a woman. But he also appears to be a little stoned, so is in danger of cutting off his own head, thinking to get that $5k himself.

Veralidaine said...

I am glad you and Linda had some fun of the lip-locking variety! And other things, but I don't know how to congratulate you on those because really I am not entirely sure how lesbian sex works, especially with a disability involved. I mean, there are some things that would be obviously included, but is the Feeldoe a partnership activity, or exclusively a solo one? And how the heck do girls know when it's over, with no man to roll over and fall asleep eventually? I am very happy when you and Linda have fun as a couple, and I'm sure the happy brain chemicals from that will do both of you a world of good-- but I am pretty obviously one of the clueless hetero chicks mentioned in today's post.

Oh, well, that just means if I get invited to a lesbian sleepover, I get to be the one egging you two on under the pretense that "Gosh, I just don't know what two women do together! Doesn't having another pair of breasts in the way make kissing harder?" And then surreptitiously slip away while you are making out and lock the door behind me, and go to the kitchen to join Cheryl in eating sweets and listening to a loud iPod.

At least, that is how I envision the lesbian sleepover if I had attended.

Raccoon said...

Oh, man! I'd ask what drugs you're on, but I know that the drugs are the least of it...

You waking up as an assassin... that's not right! Actually, the description sounds vaguely like something I've seen before. I can't remember if it was live-action or animated, though.

It does sound like you had fun, though. And the pictures are great. I like the tarot cards. Are all of the named cards anime style?

Now, as for why heterosexual males like seeing pictures of two women together: we like looking at women. And what's better than looking at one woman? Looking at two women! We all know that they look better than we do, and they (generally) don't have the body hair that we do (which is why they look better wet), and they've got such fantastic curves...

Thanksgiving -- the day we celebrate intolerance! (I mean, tolerance!) Freedom from religious persecution! (Unless you don't believe like we do.) Lasting peace with our neighbors! (Oh... that didn't last long, did it?)

Uhm. Sorry. The more I learn about history on this continent...

Thanksgiving! A day for celebrating Elizabeth still being here!

Anna said...

I didn't realise there were pornomanga. Completely confused here and will probably be expelled from work.

Neil said...

Why wouldn't I comment on the Sleepover? Easy: It's better to be silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. (Abe Lincoln said it).

I'm just enjoying the view; I didn't think voyeurs were supposed to yell their approval!

Love and hugs,
Who's driving to Calgary today for a medieval coronet tournament - gotts watch over the big strong guys (and girls) as they compete to see who will be the next Prince of Avacal in the SCA.

Maggie said...

You guys are just too much. Glad you are having some fun down time. Yes, Heteros are taking over the world.
Hope your presents showed up.
I'm off to run errands.
Look for an email later.
Lots of love-

Linda McClung said...

Thea and everyone else - I wanted to make a comment about harnesses. If you've been reading Beth's blog for a while you will know that Beth has been physically and sexually abused. Part of that abuse involved being tied down and being controlled in various forms. So although I believe the dog harness jokes were made with good intentions they are a trigger of being controlled and should be avoided. Thanks for your understanding.

Dawn Allenbach said...

You naughty girls! I hope you're having lots of fun.

I got my fellowship app in with 47 minutes to spare. Yes, I am GOOD. :-)

I'm glad someone toasted Paul because I was too darned busy to do it. I wish you would send down a little strength for the next couple of months. I could use it.

Love you crazy ladies.

Stephanie said...

The latest season of Bones has some non-heterosexual activity in it. I think you'll like that.