Abducted for fun (no grief today!)

I am being taken away! Because I am on a mission: have some fun (or buy stuff, or both, whatever comes first!). So this picture should tell the whole story. Yes, you are thinking what I am thinking, “Why is it my starving is making my breasts SMALLER; I need a disease to get boobies like HERS!” Well, that was my first thought, my second thought was, “I NEED to find the place where they sell those amazing tops!” I mean, if I could wear those, woo hoo – what fun I would have with my care givers when they show up and I am in a bikini bottom and that top.

Care giver: “Um…ah….Do you want to get dressed?”

Me: “I AM dressed! Haha, woo hoo! It’s beach party day!”

Seriously though, Linda is taking me away for a day, I think to spend some quality time, if you know what I mean, like this couple here. Okay, try to remember they are two GUYS! And I REALLY hope that Linda doesn’t smoke; do not like garlic breath, Doritos Chip breath and smoker breath while kissing; particularly if tongue is going to be involved.

Of course, we don’t just “go at it” (Though these days, after such a LONG time, I kinda wish we would!), there is called foreplay. Which for some people is having their Significant Other do housework (???), but for us, it is definitely eating. See us sucking on these succulent strawberries! (Alliteration!) Actually Linda does have a thing for strawberries so that would be good. And kissing AFTER strawberries is WAY better than for example kissing after Pita bread with garlic humus.

Of course, I am going to take some “me” time as well (in fact this is the part where I ask you, what do you do for fun when things are getting you down – because in case you hadn’t noticed from the GIANT BLACK CLOUD surrounding the last few days, I’ve been a little down.). I usually listen to music. Actually I also listen to music to avoid going insane. Because I seem to have super-sensitive hearing so when Linda DOES eat the Doritos, I just put on my music, drink my gatorade (with ice cream on top?), and zone out, usually to some trance music.

Of course, another option for fun is going to see something in the great outdoors. As this picture shows, even though it is heading toward winter, the great outdoors can still be pretty great with rocks and lichen and moss, and trees and such. However it is rain (AGAIN!) today, which sucks for wheelchairs because it is very hard to wheel, VERY hard to brake and you are basically saying, “Please soak my legs and crotch!” Although I do have a blanket which has been scotch-guarded.

So that leaves the indoors. There are GAMES (no, I actually meant games, get your mind out of the gutter, this is FOREPLAY!), like playing solitaire. Yes, this is pretty much how I play it, only at this point I am looking up at Linda going, “Where do you think I should put this card?” And after I do that about five times, Linda says, “Wow, I guess you must be having a bad day, this games seems really hard for you.” While inside I am going, “Hello to Linda! How many times do I have to flash my boobies at you before you get the point?! Ahhhh, jump me already!”

Oh, in case I hadn’t mentioned it, this might be a PG-13 sort of post.

Of course sometimes things need to warm up first, so a bit of tea, some dress up and some talking is actually a very enjoyable time. And CAN be foreplay (geez, what do I have on the brain today, I wonder?)!

I also like to cook, or I used to, called the “Elizabeth style of cooking” which means I go EXACTLY by the book the first time and then scientifically think about how to change it later, the next time. Only the last time I cooked my arm swelled to twice it’s size. Something about heat intolerance and cooking don’t go that well together but I can tell you; making lasagna from scratch gets Linda purring. She LOVES me! Unfortunately, after eating all the lasagna, she wants to sleep. And no, not like, “Let’s go to bed.” But like snoring and rolling over muttering, “More parmesan cheese!”

One problem is that I am a little scared of cooking meat. Because once or twice, the grease did something a little, um, disturbing, and this was me. Only I was going, in my VERY CALM VOICE, “Um Linda, can you come here for a second, I need a touch of assistance” (like a fire extinquisher!). Which is why, I recommmend for our Uke here (first off that apron needs boobs, choose appropriate attire), while he may THINK he is all sexy in his apron and short-shorts for getting his Seme (man-toy), watch out! As let me tell you, from experience, when the grease gets to splattering, there is going to be a lot of high pitched screams as it burns into that chest.

So, that’s it, I will tell the tale when I return, and with pics of me hopefully smiling, and having fun, and I REALLY hope finding that particular shop which sells those tops that I can wear with a bikini (actually I need to get new bikinis as I have gone from Medium to Small – nothing like um, wasting away, to put it in Victorian Terms). What do you do when the blues have turned black and it is raining? It seems my solution is to be abducted! Don't worry, I still be coming back to comment.

See ya!