Sunday, October 19, 2008

The Lesbian sleepover, a specialist, collecting things, and local politics

I decided in confidence today to tell Cheryl, exactly WHAT fantasy with the Feeldoe I was having during my “almost” masturbation I blogged. She told me she already knew. This was a jolt but not an uncommon feeling fir a person who gets a brain wipe seizure often, so I asked if I told her yesterday. No, she said, I posted it publicly under the comments section.

What? But surely not the position and everything? Oh yeah! Yeah, note to self, do not do all your replies while high on pain meds!

Cheryl has been good to have around and I do feel that she keeps me in check as I can hardly be taking her to task for doing too much that will hurt her back as I do stupid things myself. Well that’s the theory except I apparently had a hard fall (like “Timber!!!!”), and a TIA, and some seizures followed by the BIG Grand Mal. But we still watched Anime (Luckly Star!), and some British TV (QI with Stephen Fry) and did postcards. And she said that she now “gets” disability time better. And I think she is understanding my limits better and maybe she can help me with ways to focus on my goals more and be less danger to myself (the general public will have to look out for themselves).

Anyway, the Great Lesbian Sleepover has come to an end, and yes, it looked much like this. Why are we so flushed and strategically clothes awry? Because lesbians sleepover have...um....pillow fights and Fun Factory? Actually there were pillows involved in many ways, and machines that made steam punk noises and hummed.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with a new Neurologist, who after the LAST two specialists did….nothing, is our GP’s last hope that this one will do something to treat me as he can’t/won’t. My GP does seem to have a self destructive streak as he informed the neurologist (who is a specialist on seizures), that according to his knowledge (which is limited to only accepting two seizures: Grand mal and petit mal and seems accurate for 1920’s style seizure treatment), I am having pseudo seizures. This is my view of the specialist visit. Really, when do Canadian specialist want to listen to you? Or even your symptoms? The last two didn’t.

I, Cheryl, the neurologist at the hospital, another hospital doctor and I can’t remember who else thinks I have Tonic-clonic, Partials and absance and complex temporal lobe and some front lobe seizures. All I know is that if I can wake up with: my wrist sprained so it has to be wrapped, my shoulder dislocated, muscles ripped from my SPINE, and my ribs, my leg ripped in quads and calf, and half of my neck swollen from ripped muscles: Hey, I may like a good show as much as the next person, but I think I would remember that. I remember when I pulled ONE muscle in fencing in my back. I can’t imagine putting myself in state of waking over and over with screams, and two more seizures, in the night, being unable to get out of bed and in so much pain I have to take pain pills just to transfer to my wheelchair for ATTENTION? For “deep psychological issues.” Besides the Grand Mal, I hope they do not take me off Lyrica which has decreased my seizures, it hasn’t decreased my stupidity in pushing my limits.

The count of postcards for US and Canadian posting today in a 36 hour period was: 72, from stage 1 of matching people to stamping, stickering, writing, all of it! 72, a new record, only due to the help from Linda and Cheryl and a sort of Quilting Bee Type marathon. So that’s at least 25% of the list done! Linda asked after Cheryl headed back to the US in a trembling voice, “We get next week off right?”

Oh, well, maybe the week after, I mean, got to break 100 in two weeks right?

Okay, Serious part. I am now realizing that I am losing my identity not just because I have been disabled long enough to see myself that way. But also, because of the memory problems, I can’t remember much of what happened even recently. But also, my capacity to DO what I used to do, to have the knowledge of tens of thousands of books on the tip of my tongue is diminishing. But a bit like a volcano, even when they aren’t erupting, they are still darn impressive (meaning, I am not about to sign up for “sing along time”).

The couple who came to see me were there to see Linda as one works with her. They were a fine couple, and we COULD have got on great, except they talked to me like I was 13 or 14. That while I might be doing something, or have some interests, they weren’t “adult” interests. I tried to speak to the person who just got their degree as one graduate student to another, he replied back as a person who has “been to university” to a person who has not – except he only just got his BA. So, no, he was not seeing me as the person who very likely, if things were different would have TAUGHT HIS CLASS.

She, besides flinching every time I said “lesbian” talked to me as if I did not understand basic history or geography, or that what I did was a “nice hobby.” And I guess in a way it is. I have to wonder though, is that how people talked to Mother Teresa, “Oh, that’s nice, so you do something to keep yourself busy during the day, that’s good….!” Smary smile, “Keeping busy is important!” I don’t think so. But maybe they did. People place to much expectation on what they see (like Kiki here) or on what they heard (disabled person with stroke and brain problems). Listen to me, where I am! No, I don’t hold the fate of children in my hands, but I do the Postcard Project for the same reasons. They asked Mother Teresa why she WASTED her time and energy on babies that were going to die anyway, and she said it was because they would leave this world knowing they were loved.

In an accidental encounter tonight, I met with the running council member and the president of my local community and we talked about disability issues and he wants me to give him a point sheet of the most important issues and he is going to get them addressed. He WANTS to have green and accessible housing. Linda goes, “Oh no, Elizabeth has entered politics!” Well, no, I just pointed out that having a population of over 20% seniors and then grocery stores without a single blue badge parking spot seems a bit…um…cruel. So I am about to be a warrior once more, it seems. I have been toying with the idea of going back to boxing, but until then, I guess I will delve into community politics (stop cheering Lene). I mean, he seriously said, “I don’t know the transit issues” (like buses denying or treating poorly the disabled) and continued, “I really NEED you to tell me.” Well…okay.

By the way, the sheets like this one, I have been displaying are called Bisen, they are sort of artist groups that aren’t yet professional or before they become professional anime artists who make select stationary. It isn’t that expensive, a few dollars a sheet, but very hard to find, I happened to find a woman who collected a lot and she introduced me. So I am introducing you. The Canadian Printer I took them too admitted they couldn’t match the color of the stationary master sheet, much less of the reproduction. They said that Japan is VERY good in paper and printing. Cheryl said that the paper mill in Port Angeles….is owned by the Japanese and makes paper for Japan.

In finishing, on things that make me happy, I found and had shipped this fan from Japan showing a scene from the Ghibli Film Totoro (by the way the UK copies with the very accurate and un-americanized subtitles, are currently on sale at www.amazon.co.uk for 7.95 in UK, 6.67 for export shipping, and they promise delivery or refund). This is from when the movie was originally released and the person who sold it didn’t have any more, so I have yet another item, much like my 17th or 19th century first editions, that I love, but yet can’t do much more than look at. Am I the only other one who collects things like this, where you collect it, you love it, but you can’t touch it because it might break or lose value (In Lucky Star the girl advises getting three copies of all collector items: 1 to store in a special case and put away, 1 to take out and look at occasionally and 1 as a back up in case anything happens to the one that is looked at occasionally. Both Cheryl and I were nodding our head, Linda was looking at us like we had TWO heads and were aliens).

I hope you had a better weekend than I did, and there is a fair chance that if you are a reader, a postcard might be coming to you. At least this or next week.

I finish with this picture because the end of the weekend is both the end of the day, the end of one work period but also the beginning of the war between disability time and AB time. It is when all the AB agencies and people steal my time by trying to get me to do things on their schedule, which isn’t possible, so time is wasted on both sides and then they book ANOTHER meeting. Sigh. It takes me 20+ minutes to get my wheelchair ready to go out the door. How long does it take you to walk out the door? That is the difference between disability and AB time.

Thank you for the support during my down days. And for staying for Real Life, which I wish wasn’t my life. As my strange and alienating brother once said to me after he moved into “Millionaire Row” in Atlanta: I explained that all people have problems and struggle in their own ways, and he said, “No, actually, when you have enough money, all those problems go away.” Errrr….yeah. Thanks. So while I wish I had a little better Real Life, I am glad I have the support and friends I have. And I try to be support for those who I can.

28 comments:

yanub said...

Good, good, this being the disability policy adviser for the random candidate you bumped into. He could't have stumbled upon a better person for the job.

The couple that treated you like a child are certainly full of it. If it makes you feel any better, they probably pull the same stunt with other people every day. We rarely know the background, the lives, the interests, of the people we meet, but that lack of knowledge doesn't keep folks from treating others based on preconceptions and bigotry. I know someone who was a doctor before he moved to the US. Now he's a flight attendant. He has the same knowledge, the same mind and interest he had before, but not the same status. I have a Ph.D., and I've given up on being able to teach full-time ever, so do a clerical job to pay my bills and have health insurance. Some people are knuckleheads, and the only way to deal with it is to let your own ego go. We have to know who we are ourselves, and respect ourselves without relying on confirmation from others.

Heh. I collect things, too. Why just today, I was going through my collection and sorting it. Oh, wait. You probably don't mean ten year old credit card statements and grocery store receipts. Well, I did get rid of three or four years worth of that stuff today. I just shudder to replace it with anything else to take up space. I have boxes and boxes of things that I don't even know what they are, and thus don't need any incentive (and don't have any room!) to keep actual collectibles.

Kate J said...

Some great pictures! And I do hope the new neurologist is helpful. Especially as it sounded like some (all?) of the others just weren't interested at all.
I start a new job (well, not a paid one but something really interesting anyway) tomorrow so... I get to take my packed lunch in the lovely bento box you gave me. See, I'm putting it to good use already! Thanks again...
Love & peace

Lene Andersen said...

You could hear the whoops all the way out there, eh? Can't believe there's a politician who actually wants to hear about disability issues. Yay!! (a couple of weeks ago when my riding's NDP candidate came knocking, I told him how the all-candidates meeting, regardless of level of policitcs, was always held at a club just down the street. That has a gazillion steep steps. In a neighbourhood with a higher-than-average number of people with disabilities and seniors. He said he'd do something about it. We'll see)

Sorry you had a crap weekend, but showing up at a neurologist beaten up by seizures may be good? At least there's evidence. And if you can, try having one in his office.

You only have to talk to you for 2 minutes (or less) to know your brain's there and still outpaces most people. That this couple couldn't adjust their perspective says a whole lot about their intelligence.

Neil said...

It's good to see that you're in this world today. :)

It's also good that you ran into someone who MIGHT be able to have some positive effect on the lives of people with disabilities in Victoria. Yes, please do enlighten the fellow, and give him the knowledge as bluntly as you can. Being hit over the head with your experiences might help him "get it."

Once again, the images you chose are perfect.

As for having enough money to make your problems go away, that's nonsense. He'll never have "enough" money, since he'll always need just a little more to have enough. His problems are different, maybe, and more expensive (well, maybe not more expensive than yours), like should he buy the Rolls or the vintage Bentley, where we would be asking "Used Chevy Nova, or used minivan with 300 000 kms?"

Your warrior girl is very pretty, but she'd better pull her hair back out of the way of the arrows - I have pulled beard hairs when loosing arrows in practice, by snuggling the nock of the arrow too close to my cheek...

BIG hugs to Cheryl for looking after you, and many hugs and lots of love to you and Linda,
Neil

Tammy said...

As always, fabulous pictures. Is the warrior a he or a she? I guess it doesn't matter, he/she's hot.
There is something about disability that makes people think if you are in a wheelchair, scooter, or carry a cane, it's all a mental disability too. It's too bad they didn't even listen to you to find out the huge wealth of information your brain holds.
Good for you with the politician. I hope he truly listens. It could make a huge, valuable difference for all in your area.

Yay on the postcards. You are going to cheer up all of north america, one postcard at a time.
I HOPE HOPE HOPE this new neurologist listens to you, and actually DOES something for you. Fingers crossed.

Laura said...

Beth,
You will always be smarter than the average bear.(said like Yogi bear)

Personally, I think that if someone would treat some of your other problems(i.e. thyroid) some of your memory problem will get better.

I think that you accidental encounter with the running council member was great. Perhaps with your insight to the problems that the disabled community face each day, he can try to make some changes for the good of all. You make a very good warrior by the way. Actually, it sounds like you have found someone who actually wants to listen to the problems in stead of turning a blind eye to them.

Once again you have posted just the right art to go along with the subject matter of your blog. I especially like the blond girl with the bow.

Honey, I am here to support you everyday not just down days or good days. I don't see that as stopping soon.

Love and Hugs,
Laura

Anna said...

Good luck with the specialist.

Veralidaine said...

I totally get the "buy 3" thing because I just hate to take even non-collectible things out of the packaging! They're not new anymore once you do that, and they'll never be new again, augh!

Good for you on getting into community politics. I'm a politics junkie. One of the candidates for a House District seat here came by my house to chat the other day. He's not very bright, but he seems to have good intentions. But becoming disability advisor, go you! Sounds like this guy actually COULD make a difference and is WILLING to listen, which seems to be a very rare combination in Victoria.

rachelcreative said...

That's a long day's work 10 hours. I'm sure it's rewarding especially to get it just right.

I finally today listed 2 of my paintings for sale on the web. So that's my milestone :o) My weekend got kind of scubbed as I was kind of rough and on chronic time! I managed to have a bath (with help) and that was my big achievement this weekend along with managing to sleep.

I had to cancel 2 social things - visiting a friend to see her new house and for supper, and then a going to a gig last night - both quite rare things anyway! Ho hum. I am still kicking and feeling more human now.

I am crossing my fingers here for your neurologist visit. I live in hope!

FridaWrites said...

Ooh, I don't like the talking down to business. It really rubs me the wrong way, I get it too. Mother Teresa waste time on babies? My goodness, there's far more to the world than being part of the industrial hamster wheel and making money. The intangible worth far more.

Me, out the door, can take hours or minutes versus whether I'm trying or in can't give a shit mode. If I'm trying to present myself, takes some lying down in the middle. Wheelchair Dancer referred to "crip time" yesterday--love that phrase.

With collections, not in the actual generally but in the ideal, yes, one version to wear down through love and at least one for keeping in its ideal form or for backup. Because it's sad when a loved thing wears out.

I like the warrior image for you!

JaneB said...

At least you have the wheelchair to explain why it takes so long to get out of the door! In my not-so-good-but-still-functioning times it can take the best part of an hour to talk myself out the door even once I'm up/showered/dressed/breakfasted... so an 8am appointment somewhere in my town typically means getting up at 5-30 to 6 to make sure I can get there, which is a bit of a pain. So I do at least a little understand what you mean about AB-time and disability-time!

But this local politics lark... does this guy know what he's getting into???

Lene Andersen said...

Hey - I just had a thought! How much does the politician pay his consultants? Hmmm???

Do I smell a bit of extra income? It's municipal politics, won't make you rich, but maybe it'd pay for postcards for a while...

wendryn said...

I'm glad someone is at least thinking about listening to you on the subject of disability! I like Lene's idea of getting on as a consultant, too. :)

I was a nanny for several years, and for the first couple of weeks the families always talked down to me, as if, because I was taking care of kids, I must not actually be very bright. They got over it pretty fast. I'm sorry the people who talked down to you didn't have enough perception to be able to understand how intelligent you are.

I collect things, but most of them aren't breakable. Between my klutziness, the two cats' curiosity, and the dog's tail of doom, it isn't worth it.

I'm glad that today is a little better. Your GP sounds like an idiot, though. Pseudo-seizures? Sigh.

Doctors are whippersnappers in ironed white coats,
who spy up your rectum and look down your throats,
and press you and poke you with sterilized tools,
and stab at solutions that pacify fools.
I used to revere them and do what they said
till I learned what they learned on was already dead.
Gilda Radner 1986

tornwordo said...

I for one am hoping that the third specialist will be of some use. I think Flinching Lesbians would be a cool band name ; )

Emma said...

I have to admit that the cynic in me wonders whether the politics guy wants to know but will end up disappearing when the details come out. But I am trying to leave this cynical side behind and so I will just say "yay!" for people being interested and for you getting involved. I know you are a great person for this.

Good luck with the neurologist - it's definitely time you had some good luck around here.

And I don't think I've mentioned this but I really love the pictures you have been posting in your blogs lately.

cheryl g said...

I was reading back through the prior blogs and comments and did not see the description on your feeldoe fantasy so I think you did just tell me in confidence. I swear I won't tell anyone else...

I really miss the great lesbian sleepover. It was way more fun than being here at work!

I do have a better understanding of what your limitations are (there aren't many) so I will share any ideas I have to make things easier for you.

The postcard production line was amazing. I never would have believed we could do it and yet we did. The stamping and stickering are so much fun!

I am hoping that this neurologist will not pay attention to your GP. As a seizure disorder specialist I am guessing that the neurologist is much more aware of the diversity and complexity of seizure types.

I hope the council member guy does listen and becomes an advocate for accessibility in Victoria. After all, there are a lot of elderly voters. He couldn't have picked a better source for information.

When talking about collectibles that you want to be able to handle from time to time then you definitely need a minimum of 3. One must be kept pristine so you still have one to look at and a back up just in case. I still don't know why Linda gave us the odd look. That is the only way to do it.

I really like the pictures. The Bisen art is so beautiful.

Abi said...

As a secretary, I find that people often talk down to me, and seem to disregard me as a person. When I have run conferences, sometimes people seem a little bored that I should choose to sit at their table. Once I also got some praise for correctly operating a photocopier (but, you know, kind words are kind words ;-) I think that the words used were "Aren't you clever?" Which I am. Sometimes, I think, people spend too much time with their children and these things slip out.

I think that the trick is not to care too much, but that's much easier if they go away very quickly. Or if you are excessively drunk or unconscious.

wendryn said...

Oh, and you have been very supportive while I've been job hunting. Thank you very much - I don't think I would have been able to stay even vaguely cheerful without the postcards and such!

OneSick said...

Well, I really hope this new neuro is not the Dark Commandant type, but actually someone who gives a crap and has a clue. (and if you can only have one, I would go for "has a clue")

I mean, he MUST have more of a clue than your idiot GP (sorry but he is in this regard), who probably learned all he knows about Epilepsy back in the 40s and never bothered to update his knowledge. it is a shame he isn't even more behind as you might at least have gotten some Laudanum out of the deal!

I really feel -very strongly that if you can get the seizures under control your quality of life will improve hugely. I know mine has, since my seizures have diminished somewhat. And mine are no-where near as bad as yours.

Lyrica is an anti-epileptic, which is probably why it helps. However it is usually used as a adjunct medication and not by itself to control fits. You have a good head start knowing that it somewhat works for you and you tolerate it. Now they just need to find the other half of the therapy.

You are halfway there! Therefore, If the neuro is only semi-competent, he should be able to fill in the missing pieces and help you.

Good luck with it.
OSM

Elizabeth McClung said...

Just to note on images: Lately, like the last months and such I have been using my own images, I photograph them from different artbooks or things I own. Which is why you won't find them on the net. I have used a couple images I contacted the artist regarding, the others are from my own collection. Oga from Ghibli features often!

Abi: I have to say your ideas are great, except I am not sure how to coordinate them with Linda having her work mates drop over - do I just tell Cheryl after a sentence or two, "Hey, pass me the bottle" and then start taking swigs? Is this what you do at the photocopying machine? God, I did like clerking which is the person who the secretaries talk down to. One actually took 20-30 minutes to explain putting mail in boxes with people's names on it - even after I said I got it. I first called up all the equipment like the copier people and asked for detailed demonstrations of rarely used commands, then started doing self destructive behavoir, then quit - six hours of standing by a copier....ug.

Yanub: I agree, I just have to work on the bullet points of what is most important and what CAN he achieve in a reasonable time and with contacts and effort (like more blue badge parking spaces).

They actually didn't want to hire me at the movie multiplex because of my degrees and one coach at triumph told me she could get me a job if I "toned down" my resume (like took off ALL my degrees and presented what a 'disabled resume' SHOULD look like). Yes, I am beginning to understand how important a job with health insurance is.

Oh, those kind of paper collections - we just call that the "kitchen table" if we could actually see the table or the wall under the mound of "important slips of paper"

Kate J: Thanks, I'm glad the pics worked. I hope the neurologist works out too but I am quite worried either way, I can't seem to concentrate on anything - if you know the feeling. I am glad you are looking forward to this job, and get to use the bento box.

Lene: YEs, well I usually start small and then end up trying to take on the entire establishment. So this time I WILL start small. But if he gets elected, will that give me an IN to the City council and bylaws?

Yes, I still have my beating up and also a write up from Cheryl, who was kind enough to write up what she has seen and Linda is going as well.

Neil: yes, the idea that I might help someone change Victoria for the best even just a little bit is rather exciting.

Tell my brother that, he seems to think he is far happier than I or others like me could be - whatever, anyone who actually tells his parents that "sexual interaction between siblings is normal" DOES have a problem, whether they admit it or not.

I've had a few burns from bows, but mostly on my forearm. Yes, I will get her a better hair clip.

Tammy: I think this one is a she. I hope she is a she since I identify with her.

yes, obviously my wheelchair is sucking away all my IQ, it is a strange effect those devices have.

I can't believe it really is WHO you know, or rather who you chat to outside a video store that gets change happening, well now I have to do my part.

I will give a full report on the neurologist if I don't VOMIT from the tension.

Devi said...

It's great that this candidate you ran into wants to listen to you, yes.

On a different note, I know exactly what you mean regarding collector items.

Tammy: It says "Legolas" on the warrior picture, so I'm assuming it's supposed to be said 'he'. ;)

Neil said...

Wendryn: I LOVE your 'tail of doom' description of the dog! They can be vicious things, those dogs' tails.

Laughing,
Neil

Neil said...

Devi: The archer looks female to me; the nose is just too cute to be a guy's. Maybe she's a Legolas groupie?

He/She can be whatever gender we each want, I'm sure. It's not reality anyway. :)

Smiles and hugs,
Neil

Laura said...

I second Lene's idea about becoming an advisor to the running councilman.

Wendryn, Thank you so much for the Gilda Radner quote. She was one funny lady.

Rachelcreative, congrats on listing those paintings. Where could they be viewed?

Love and Hugs to All,
Laura

Raccoon said...

trust me. Even if you have enough money, your troubles don't just go away.

Okay, the first picture: you're the one with the pinkish hair, and Linda is the one on the left side of the picture. Cheryl is the girl sitting beside you... Who is the fourth girl, and is she single?

The thing with your visitors today, pathetic. But all too common. I've had it happen with me many, many, many times more than once.

Here's the thing, though. if you are a PWD, they go away. If you're able-bodied (or appear able-bodied), and they will hang around and keep authoring you.

That means that Linda has to deal with them more than you do.

I'm sorry, Linda.

Elizabeth McClung said...

Laura: God, I hope I smarter than a bear since there are a good many of them in the Pacific north West and thus will be soon Elizabeth chum (that bloody stuff you throw in the water to attract sharks).

I am all for anyone treating anything, well except those people who stop me on the street and blame me for not eating Cod fish heads or whatever which would cure me instantly. Treat me and let's see what happens!

yeah, I like her too, wish I had hair like that though!

Anna: thanks, due to previous experiences I am very nervous and apprehensive.

Veralidaine: so true, once opened, never "NEW". Which is why I have a lot of things I store.

Well, I am just starting to get into politics, like saying, "This you can do and make a difference"

RachelCreative: What is 10 hours? The postcards were 36 hours of which was almost 20-24 hours straight work.

Well, I didn't shower (I say proudly, couldn't afford the two hours it would take) - kudos on getting the pictures up for sale. And for the bath.

I live in fear - I will let you live in hope, then if it works out - you can claim all the credit!

Frida: Shhhhh, don't let them capitalists hear you about more than making money, they think that Swift's satire about selling babies for food is a possible market venture!

yeah, people just don't get that it takes what it takes and sometimes you are late, and sometimes you start early and are still late.

This is true - I used to buy two of clothes I loved for this reason, after Linda accidentally bleached my fav jeans while bleaching the tub with a little too much enthusiasm. So now I have these perfectly new clothes that are twice my size. arg!

Janeb: When I had invisable disabilities sometimes I LITERALLY could not get out of bed, that was how I found out I had depression at 21, I couldn't leave the bed for three days. I think back now and wonder how I peed, or if I drank anything. So I get that too. I think.

Lene: Gosh, let me get some things to him and some feedback and see some change BEFORE I ask for a raise okay. I know who to hire as my manager, though!

Wendryn: No one was as surprised as I was! What, you want to listen, you want me to email you? Huh? Are you a REAL politician?

Nice quote on the medicos, I really don't get my GP, who defended me against having conversion disorder to determine my autoimmune diseases, anemia, perhipheral neuropathy and vascular degeneration are all real, but I have "psuedo-seizures" - sigh.

Tornwordo: Me too, or I hope I am not emotionally devestated and Linda has to pick up pieces. Yeah, lets start a band, I have been thinking of playing my bass to get back and the new guy TWO FLOORS down whose bass I can hear on weekends through the FLOOR!

Emma: Thanks, it takes about an hour to do the photos and such for the pictures each day and another three hours a week in prep so I am glad they are nice and match the mood.

I think this guy is an okay guy - he is FOR accessible housing as this is a seniors town and accessible housing means THINKING AHEAD. Which is what I say too - and anyone who agrees with me can't be THAT evil, can they?

Cheryl: Whew, I bet I got a lot of people reading back through my comments though. So how is it you already KNEW my fantasy with X and the feeldoe? (and is this the 10 hours Rachelcreative was referring to?)

Yeah, boo to work, more lesbian sleepovers!

I could never have done all that without the two of you, but like you say, I NEVER though I would get them all done, half maybe!

I talked to the woman who is the administrator to confirm the appointment and she said she hoped this visit could "help me understand more of what was going on with me" - which sounds promising/threatening. Thank you very much for your write up. I am not speaking until he reads it. And you know what level of restraint that will require of me!

Wendryn: I think you definately fall into why aren't great things happening RIGHT NOW to great people. But I do know that job is out there and when people stop screaming, "The sky is falling!" Things will be better - if I had money I would buy oil - becuase a drop of 40%? Did China say they don't want any anymore, or did someone cancel Christmas?

One Sick: I can take abrasive personality if they a) know and obsess over what they specialise in and b) are RIGHT

Thank you for the info on the Lyrica, I was hoping it would do the trick as it has the least side effects (except making a person who doesn't have autonomic functions and feel the need to pee, pee more which is still close to zero!).

I didn't know you had seizures, I will have to read back a ways.

Thanks, I wish I had all you with me tomorrow, specialists offices seem lonely places.

Devi: Yes, I expect you have a few collectors items. And actually this particularly artists group doesn't do painting of men, so um, I know it is Legolas, but obviously they have the femme verion of Tolkien (slash version?).

Raccoon: Well, I didn't think they did. I figured after you roll it in for a while the novelty wears off!

I don't know where that fourth girl came from, I was hoping it was Maggie, but I think she went deep into hetero country and got married!

Ug, well, I just hope Linda doesn't have to hear condescending comments at work from these people forever - that would be highly annoying. I guess becuase most people I go to knew me before or know me as someone who tried to break a rib or do something equally strange or sporty, they don't see me as "oh how nice dear" - and "Oh how plucky" disappears after I say, "Let's play one one one" and they are like, "But you are in a wheelchair" and I'm like, "That should make every point I get hurt even more then right?" - yeah, I'm a GOOD sport!

thea said...

Oh good points. I would love to see you be the political disability advisor.

rachelcreative said...

Laura - Thanks! Paintings are on my web site www.rachelcreative.com and also things for sale on etsy (link on my web site).

Beth - I'm summoning extra hope in that case ;o)