Linda and Cheryl made me a present. I could tell because when I woke up, they were always running off chortling into the other room, all over a few weeks. Very pleased with themselves. They gave it to me this weekend, and I wanted to show it to you. I am not sure where they go SO MANY bad pictures of me but if I hear you using any as screen savers (the bad ones, the good ones help yourself), I will be heading towards your city and your computer baseball bat in hand.
It made me happy, it made me nostalgic, it made me darn confused (some of the pictures I am in, I don’t remember AT ALL), it made me wish they had let me vote for some of the pictures. But this is a picture of Elizabeth from two people who care about me, and have seen me in good times and bad. Some new readers haven’t seen many of the faces of Beth (the not so great ones), or how much weight I have lost, just in my face. Of course the dark faces, the faces of hell and pain, they are too busy doing things to take pictures. Sometime recently parts of my hands turned black in a matter of a couple minutes. My face was terror then, and calling for help. I don’t know what happened after (probably seizures or something), but there is nothing like watching your hands turn shades of black over 20 or thirty seconds. But it is in the end, I think an interesting mirror of me. An interesting mirror more of Linda and Cheryl who are there, caring for me, being there so I can be there, always watching over me: My companions.
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2 hours ago
26 comments:
Black hands and green arms - seems like plain pinkish is just boring in comparison!
The photos are brilliant, and I loved the music too.
And an admission from an earlier post of yours - I really did fancy that guy with the butterflies....
Rachael - NZ
Rachel: thanks for commenting. Yes, sometimes, if both arms match, Linda and I get worried like, "Oh no, what is about to happen!" It is amazing what we can get used to as the new "normal" I think.
I was really pleasantly happy (chuffed), about the present, that's why I wanted to show it. Also often people just see me smiling and happy and life is more complicated than that, I thought they captured that very well (I was a little disturbed at the picture where I am making eyes at Cheryl; when did I do that? And why is Linda taking a photo instead of bonking me on the head?).
I liked that "bad boy" too, I just like the whole, leather jacket, wild hair and...butterflies! Reminds me of some sort of Vogue portrait.
That's a brilliant gift!
What a fabulous present! A wonderful look back at the last 2 years.
I have one thing to say - you GO GIRL!!! excellant photos, well done - Elizabeth Fucking McClung ROCKS!
Obviously, I only get what I read on here, but you just seem like such a strong person, and though some of the photos showed not-so-great moments, you're strength and personality still seemed to shine through.
On a different note, I had a dream about you and Linda the other night! Bizarre, since I've never met either of you, but you were both definitely there. You only passed out twice in the dream, and it wasn't scary or dramatic. We just made sure you were breathing and then waited for you to wake up, which you did with a sarcastic smile on your face each time. When you weren't passed out, we were hanging out the way I hang out with my closest friends--sitting around, being ridiculous, laughing hysterically and generally having fun together.
I hope you have a good day today, Beth!
Sasha
Lovely video.....hm.....I am not shure if I would be completly happy about it if it was me. But one can tell it is made with great love and sense of humour. Where did they get the song, it's perfect.
Can imagining them sneaking away making it:)
Ha, ha.
Love the pictures of you and Linda you look really sweet together.
Great video! You have such wonderful, beautiful friends!
P.S. I love the postcard you sent, and am still searching for the perfect one to send back! I haven't forgotten you! Even hubby is into the search!
Take care sweetie!
Sis
In the "making eyes" picture we were just goofing around doing purikura and anime looks. I am more amazed that Linda got decent pictures in spite of her laughing.
I am glad you like the video. We want you to have something to look at during the dark moments so you can remember that you are cared about.
Black hands, huh? That's... alarming.
What a great present! Perfect connection of music and images, the year good and bad. Wonderful. Thanks for sharing it.
That is truly beautiful, Cheryl and LInda! And thank you, Beth, for sharing. That's what you do best, you know; sharing. You've shared knowledge and laughs and experiments and challenges. And love. Lots of love.
I like two photos best: you and Linda in black with her hugging you, and the one by the log, showing off how passionately you can each kiss. Oh, and the one where she's helping you over the rough spots in the Hoh rainforest.
As for getting bonked on the head, I'm more surprised at the shot of you leaning on Maggie so suggestively - Maggie and Linda both might have thumped you for that! :)
Linda, what's the music, please? It sound familiar and I can't place it and it's going to drive me mad!
Thanks again, all three of you!
Zen hugs,
Neil
Aww, I love it! When you smile, the joy in your soul just shines. Thanks for sharing it.
Maybe it is because I'm a yucky depraved hetero, but I don't see you making eyes at Cheryl in that picture, I see you happy to be with your sister. But, maybe you were making eyes at her. After all (as you may not remember) you did pass out in the cemetery and your biggest complaint after the incident was that you were unconscious while Maggie was feeling you up to administer first aid!
Linda probably was not bonking you on the head because your head does its own bonking several times a day.
The video is very nice. I remember most of the pictures, except the one where you are passed out in the fencing gear. My favorite is of you and Linda smooching in the forest! (Get a room!) It's nice to see a more complete picture of life with EFM, and I appreciate that you share the bad days as well as the good-- but I love most when we get to see you in the moments where the pain lifts enough that you can enjoy Linda's company actively.
Getting excited that you sent a postcard! It is not here yet (lots of advertisements for grocery stores yesterday, which I shook to make sure no card was tucked inside) but I will check again as soon as I get home. I am a little nervous what this one will be since you sent it right after I admitted to being rather fond of the uke/seme couple... hmmm maybe I better not let my SO or male roommate go to the mailbox for the next few days.... they might be traumatized.
Oh and I didn't comment on the uke (right? that's the little one?) and his modeling career when you posted it so I will now: I want to know what happens next! Is he in big trouble, or does he talk his way out of it with some explanation like he only wanted to make a little money to buy the big guy a birthday gift? Yes, a little disturbing, but also compelling...
Elisabeth, you're such a COLORFUL person!
Love the video, what a smashing gift! It's about joy and pain, beauty and ugliness, sweet and salty and bitter, death and LOVE.
Oh, I should have watched that tonight after I got off work. Now I'm all teary-eyed.
I put all of the bad ones as my screensaver, with the worst one as my desktop. Let me know when you're coming and I'll make up a bed for you ;-) (and I shall try to keep my bo staff to hand to ward off your baseball bat)
I love that video! It's funny looking back at so many old pictures, though. I saw so many of them and remembered how many new "normal"s you had to adjust to. You are beautiful in all of the photos, and they do indeed show many different aspects of you.
Thank you for sharing it with us all!
Ohhh, I'm all weepy now! That was just soooo beautiful! Even if I'd never heard of any of you before, I'd have a very clear picture of just how much Linda and Cheryl love you. What gorgeous and detailed story-telling the shots evoke!
I can only imagine how frightening it is to see your body doing bizarre things like changing to clearly non-healthy-human colours. :( I can't say I have that experience but, for me, I am constantly shocked and amazed that when I look down at my CRAPS (CRPS) leg, that I don't see blisters from a severe burn, the skin scraped off in the worst kind of road-rash or giant carpentry nails jutting out from my foot along with hundreds of sewing needles in foot and leg.
Um, sorry, was that too descriptive? I was trying to empathize in an odd way.
BTW, I had to watch twice to see the alleged 'eyes' at Cheryl! LOL. That time I turned off the song as I'm a known smushy-heart and songs just make it more intense.
Still, it made me happy (yet weepy!) to see their loving gift.
Elizabeth, I can say wihtout doubt that you are truly blessed.
Love,
Lisa
That is beautiful. Good job to Linda and Cheryl. And best of all, it's a gift you can rewatch and get again as necessary - no memory required!
Black is not a good color. I mean green isn't great, but black is worrisome.
I was not really paying much attention to the words of the song at first, but then the chorus started playing -- and I started crying. I've been such a girl lately.
The video was brilliant. Who better to catch your many facets?
Lovely present. I can't say any more
You have a beautiful smile. What a great gift from them.
For those who are wondering...
The song is "All I Can Do" by Chantal Kraviazuk. She's a Canadian artist and I have loved the song from the first time I heard it.
I think I recognize most of the pictures. And the song definitely seems to fit.
See, you are loved!
Cheryl: Thank you. I knew I knew the singer, and couldn't place her.
Abui: I was thinking of threatening to add her to my desktop just to tease her, but I forgot. Thanks for beating me to it.
Beth: you can come and visit any time. Threats not required.
Love and hugs,
Neil
Kathz: Yes, I think it is a gift all three of us will enjoy
Rachel creative: It was a pretty rocking present!
Kita: Thanks, I did get to various places didn't I?
Sasha: As long as you don't dream we have chain saw and are chasing you around that is okay!
Haha, I have to laugh that you are acclimatizing yourself to my passing out in your dreams, definately time for a visit then!
I am very glad it was a pleasant dream and even more joyous that you commented! Hanging out, that's what we do, and I don't know if I am strong or I just don't know what to do, if I THOUGHT there was someone to surrender to I might, then again, being me, I might not!
Anna: I was sort of like, "Wow, did you have to use SO MANY bad pictures!" But I knew what they meant and it went with the song and this last year so well. Yeah, a lot of love in that song.
Evil Lunch Lady: I've only sent one, must get on that right away! It is a great video, I have a special partner and a very special friend (well a lot of special friends, this online group who support me on a daily basis).
Cheryl: I really appreciate you both taking the time to work on that and make it for me, I will keep it on my desktop to view again and again.
Lene: I thought so at the time too which is why I was calling, "Help! Help!!!!"
It does sum up a lot, some of which I wish I could remember more. Mostly I am going, "Ah good, a nice selection of all my different clothes, I wonder where that went?"
Neil: I really liked that one where she hugged me fiercely in the picture too - and the one by the log, I think Linda who doesn't like to make out SO much in public was finally convinced, also kudos to Cheryl for taking that picture. I mean, not many friends can you say, "Hey, we are going to go 'make out' over here, can you film us and take photos?"
Oh you caught me leaning into Maggie did you, I thought I got away with it!
Queen Slug: Thanks. I am amazed at the difference between when I am ill and my different smiles, like the one with me in Japan holding the Yaoi book with the "Hee Hee look at all this naughty stuff" - after which we were immediately confronted by the stop owner with crossed arms. Oh, not take pictures in here, we had NO idea (right).
I don't think that I will be one of those people who "shine through" in death, in my face, I definately think alive and smiling is better (actually my whole motto right now is 'alive and smiling').
Veralidaine: Oh, I was making eyes, she was too - but they were pretend (right, right?). Yeah, that so unfair but MAGGIE - if you are reading this remember, days before you marry that GUY - all the times you have been ATOP ME, with your hands on my breasts! Gosh I hope Sparky is reading this!
I enjoy that part too and though this didn't overwhelm with pictures or events it seemed to have a nice balance and yes, did show the ups and DOWNS of life with Elizabeth.
Oh, for the postcard, GET nervous, Get VERY NERVOUS. I took some front and back pics of what I did this week but have waited until everyone got thier card before posting them.
I'll have to find out in the scantilations (they are english translations of Japanese Manga, usually Yaoi - I have the art for the books in this big art book - so many more pics from this artist. Yes, what does our Uke do, and what was the money for? This is usually when the Uke has had a fight and does the "I don't need to stay in your apartment.... (rents in Japan are horrific!), I don't need to depend on you!" and then goes off and does something foolish and getting exploited and the Seme marches in and drags him off with a "Idiot, did I say you were being a burden?" sort of line in the car when they are driving away.
Hakalax: That's a compliment right? Or almost, Colourful? Yes, I actually took some of the shots myself after a TIA, that one, becuase I wanted it recorded. As you say, all of it: what I choose and what is out of my choice.
Yanub: thats okay, I was too - for the first many time, actually no time yet I'm not except when I am going, "When was that? And when did I have hair THAT long recently?"
Abi: Errr....okay, here I come - well let me get the concentrator first. It is an insightful thing you say, about all the "normals" I had to adjust to. And yeah, I think showing me the day when my symptoms starting moving me from Able bodied to a wheelchair user was a very interesting picture.
Lisa: It was a nice gift, and I will have to see what they do NEXT YEAR (hey if Linda is talking January Vacations, she has plans, I have plans, mine right now is denial, I have a severe case of Mono).
I guess the difference is that while I have pain, I don't have it so localized (at least not until I try and sleep), and the changes HAVE to be noticed because I can't feel. So to see a 'normal' leg but be getting horrid feedback would be pretty wierd, but then so was not feeling my legs and look how many weeks/months Linda had to stop me from dropping objects on them just because it was so surreal; "Here, hand me the iron, look, look, I won't even feel it!" - Linda: "No, I am not handing you the iron, now put that vase back." Me: "Awwww!"
Perpetual Beginner: yes, no memory required, and I can watch it again and again! Exactly.
It took me a long time to get your comment. "What? I look great in Black!" But then I remembered, OH, the HANDS! Yes, but I get used to the absurd, if you see it often enought, blue fingers and purple hands and Reynauds to my biceps and purple/black feet so I guess soon it will be, "Oh well, when my forearm turns black, then I'll worry!" - speaking of getting used to the absurd, if you are like I was, then you probably have at least 3 to 10 significant bruises on you from your martial arts, and yet you look puzzled when someone puts a kind hand on your arm saying, "You don't have to take that, there is a women's shelter, I can drive you there today!"
Dawn: so true, I am lucky to have Linda and Cheryl and I hope that I can tell thier story, or what I know of thier many faces I have on film in some sort of video.
Nothing wrong with giving in to the fem now and then, I mean, weren't you the one complaining that your long hair gets in the way of your t-shirt slogans?
Victor: Thanks, becuase I know you are holding your tongue on the editing! No, that is just something I am projecting, and did a little, like, "Oh, why didn't they use a fade here and a stereo track?" But thanks it was a great gift, like yours on May day challenge (see I remember).
Fridawrites: it was a great gift and reminds me that I need to smile more - I need more smiling in my daily life. Not just for the camera but full on living smiling.
Raccoon: Well, if you recognize the ones I don't then you can explain them to me and vice versa. Yeah, I am loved, and so are you, though I don't have the video yet to prove it!
By all means get the oxygen concentrator first. It will make the trip more enjoyable. Once you have finished destroying my computer, we'll have great fun! It's really cold here at the moment, and the heating's off to save money.
Insightful? Ha! I just regurgitate what you say at a much later date, often with a slightly different emphasis. It's probably just plagiarism.
That photo of you in fencing gear is very poignant, though. I am glad for what that Elizabeth doesn't know, but sad for what she does. (Because I think that we are different people as time goes on - not entirely so, but enough.)
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