It has been a hard few days. The good news is that I sent out 22 postcards and didn’t break two fingers (just badly bruised). I am on a heart monitor, and I go on. Were there seizures, erratics, weak pulse, faint pulse, lack of breaking, aspiration, having to breath head down, too weak to move any part of my body? So you mean a typical day? Haha. Well maybe not typical since I did strip down because I felt bad about something, as is, NAKED, totally completely naked. I also cut myself on the leg with the open part of a not very sharp pair of scissors, many times, until the blood pooled from one leg to other in a little V pool of blood. It did not hurt, it does not hurt. Maybe I felt it, I can’t really remember.
We went and played air hockey, I will write about that tomorrow when I am more recovered. It is not a good picture of me but it does show how gaunt I am. I said to Cheryl that without teeth, I think my flesh would meet in the middle, I am so much a skull. She said that I should try to keep my teeth and she agreed. That the humor we had. And some chortling over making little comments on postcards.
Here is one of the postcards I sent out. It is a special one, called a Bromhide Card, which has a transparent Anime Cell in it. On the back I used some of the hand-painted craft from SharonMV. And when I was done with my little message (and Japanese stickers), I hope the top looked as artful as the rest. I wish I had enough Bromhide cards for everyone but it is hard to get three (which is what I have) much less 100+. Still I will try to send cards that are unique and special, one of our cards we have sent 20+ out of I found today as we are running out. I said to Cheryl, “Oh, I see they are $6.99 a card.” She asked me if I still wanted to use them. I told her of course, “I didn’t pay that so let’s live it up! And everyone gets the best!”
I wish I could tell you something deep or amusing but this is just one of those “Blogging by sheer determination to keep posting” posts. I will come back, I will feel things again, even if my body doesn’t. I believe in a world without abilism, I believe in people caring, and people helping each other. I just don’t really believe in me right now. But I will hang on until I do.
1 day ago