Well, those promises for the pain specialist? It turns out he didn't make them, though he TALKED to the pain specialist who could get me in within a month, but since June, he had not made the referrals, both I AND the hospital has requested: for pain and epilepsy. Why. Because I had not obeyed him and come back the following week and had cancelled that appointment. I was in the hospital, that is why I missed the appointment (or I was in home after the hospital unable to move).
So it turns out that becuase he couldn't give me 'his opinion' I was in pain, and still am in pain, I fall asleep while in pain, and I wake because the pain breaks through my consciousness. And I was that way for months, because.......
I don't know, this is the same doctor who today I showed my blue fingertips to and he replied, "I'm not impressed!" (Guess what doc, I'm not a circus act!). When I started attacking him, as in, when his fellow doctors showed an ailment did he say to them, "I'm not impressed" he marched tight lipped out of the room and returned with an pulse oximeter.
"It's 72%" he said grudgingly and then dropped the oximeter on the counter and continued on with how my being in pain was MY fault because if I had only done what he had expected of me, to return and see him, then those referrals would have been made.
"Put it in your computer." I said. I think he was confused about what, "The 72%, put it in your computer." You see, now I can demand a referral to a respirologist; I may be furious but I am not stupid.
Anyway, Linda and I decided this town and its hell of Beacon, GP's, doctors and the rest was SO bad, that Port Angeles with the hairy bearded men who carry off women "'cause they pretty!" is actually the LESSER of two evils. Plus I can go to the Hello Kitty store and convince more 16 year olds to take their DADDY to a Hello Kitty Bondage Hotel (read the last entry on Port Angeles). Yeah, good plan.
I have been working on some postcards, so I will post them early, here are some of those going out. I take the pictures becuase once I mail them, there is no way for me to remember what they look like. I hope you enjoy them too.
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24 comments:
Are you seeking treatment elsewhere?
Liz, I'm reading my way through your archived blog posts - but still have a way to go before I get up-to-date (but of course I'm reading the ones you post currently too). I realised I was planning to leave a comment once I'd read them all, but thought why wait till then? So, here's another person who's life you've touched and changed in some way - I have got a lot out of reading your words, including some seriously laugh-out-loud moments and a lot of time for reflecting. Both you and Linda are terrific.
My postcard hasn't yet arrived, so I'm looking forward to that, as well as a lot more time reading your blog.
And BTW - wish I could give that *!&*!!! docter a kick in the balls for you - that might give him a few ideas about pain.
love and hugs
Rachael from NZ
I want to pop over and slap your doctor - any objections :o)
It is sadly not a unique experience - for every good doctor there is one who has all the empathy of a gum boot. I hope you finally get the treatment you need.
Lovely postcards!
Not lovely at all with that doctor, though. Whatever happened to "First do no harm?" or, you know, "Don't let your patients suffer just because you can?" *rage*
I am sorry, just had to write if you are that bad, don't they keep you at the hospital and get you a doctor. I am sorry, I am I bit naiv here. I hope that you get the help you need.
Good! Now we just need to get you to a US doctor.
Cheryl, email me. We need to work on that BBQ.
Oh, also....your doctor needs to lose his license.
Did he also make a note in the computer that you missed that appointment because you where INCAPACITATED?
Friggin moron.
He really needs to be investigated by the medical board.
I'm pretty sure in the States that they get edgy when your oxygen level goes below 90%. Acting like that's normal doesn't make it so. It's not like a college test, where anything above a 65 is passing.
Got a card from you yesterday--one of my faves! Japanese princess/prince on front, lots of the favorite stamps I've liked on the back and some really cool stickers. Very pretty!
Yes, I am right about O2 levels (looked it up).
I don't understand punishing patients for being sick! He already said he was going to call the pain specialist, he didn't. He then blames you rather than take responsibility. Nice going. Hope you get that referral and needed meds soon.
What you described in your comments yesterday sounds agonizing.
Hey there! Sounds like you need a new doctor!
I have been diagnosed with an a kind of chronic kidney failure (just started chemo, ugh...) and am struggling to find a community of people who know what it is like to be sick. It is nice to find your blog.
There's a cool site calle CarePages where you can post updates on your health, visiting hours, etc. So you don't have to call a million people when something happens. It's at http://www.carepages.com/ You just "become a member" (it is quick - just your e-mail and a password) and you can look for others with your diagnosis and you can write your own blog. Then people can leave you messages - they automatically get updates when you post and you can see everyone who looked at your page - including their e-mail address). If you type my name into the search field (Charli Henley) you'll find mine as well.
Anyway, thanks for your blog and I am looking for others like it! I am sorry your doctors sound so frustrating. Illness can make one feel very powerless.
Escaped the country? Please don't talk too many 16 year-olds into taking their dads into any sort of bondage hotel...
Other than that, I am impressed with your GP's level of crapness. Wow. Did he do an extra module on messing patients around, with extra credit for breaking promises?
Your doctor makes me want to go to his office and personally throttle him. Negligent, powerhungry, ball-less bastard.
Stray thought: if you go back to the ER, might they not give you the referrals when seeing proof that your GP is a snivelling turd?
Hope you have fun in between the crap while away. Good plan.
p.s. can I hurt your doctor? Just a little? Please???
YEAH ELIZABETH!!!!
Maybe I shouldn't be cheering that you had to flee Canada, and rest assured I'm not cheering for the circumstances that led you to this desperation... but you are somewhere else and maybe FINALLY you will get some relief from the scary-go-round of asshole doctors, and some pain relief, and maybe (dare we hope?) SOME FUCKING TREATMENT!
And there's the Hello Kitty store, that's fun too!
Let's see. I have family in Washington, but my celebrated and fairly unsnooty neurologist uncle is not in Washington anymore... My whole family on the mother's side is in the physical sciences except for a few who teach English, so I am picking my brain trying to think if I know anyone still in Washington who could get you in to see someone who might actually have SEEN a case of MSA before... maybe the uncle knows someone in the state?
If you go back to Canada I say... take a lawyer (or an Abrams tank)! Yes, I know, Canadians don't sue like Americans do, and a lawyer from WA wouldn't be licensed to practice in BC, but still, I can dream, right? And right now my dream is that you get some treatment and then sue the pants off the GP.
Your doctor should be reported. I am so mad!
My question -- was that 72% with or without you wearing oxygen?
I have a friend who would LOVE that cheetah anime card.
Still fuming.
I can't believe that you've been waiting on these referrals and he didn't even send them in. Did he say that he will process them now? It just burns that there is such a shortage of GP's in BC. GP's are the gateways to specialists, and this guy is blocking your care. I'm so freakin' angry.
I'm glad you've gone on a sojourn. I hope it brings you some welcome distraction and Hello Kitty action.
We received two outstanding postcards from you this week. WOW. I think "Pheromomania Syndrome" is contagious. QUITE the image, my friend. And the stamps and stickers are gorgeous. Cranes on the brain, eh? Canada Post didn't even cancel my postcard - so it isn't messed up with their machine's ink. Bonus! Thanks so much for your generosity. It's a pleasure to receive these.
WOW..you get some of the shittiest doctors. It is sad to think that is the type of medical care in your area. SO scary.
The post cards look fun!
That doctor was appalling - I hope you find someone who knows how to behave.
I hope things work better for you now - I'll be relieved when I hear from you again.
Will post to your Canadian address reach you?
Wasn't this GP one that you used to trust? And what the hell is a "pseudo-seizure"???
Talk to the GP to see if he's willing to be part of a sphincter transplant - he sounds like a better (or more complete) asshole than the one you came equipped with.
Hippocrates, verse 1: First, do no harm.
You REALLY don't deserve this crap, Beth. Go and do your best to forget your troubles, dear. Just try not to make the Purser's job too interesting.
Hugs, love, positive thoughts,
Neil
Sorry to hear about your egomoniacal doctor withholding the pain meds. That bastard!
but....
Yeah! I finally got those postcards out to you today. My follow-through has been sucking pretty bad lately but I feel a change-a-comin'
I only have dial-up but I want to do my best!
Anna: Currently, beyond the hospital and walk in clinics, that isn't possible. Sadly
Rachel: Thank you for commenting, I am glad in my slightly gone monty python in not a good way life, there are still some laugh out loud moments. Your postcard WAS sent so keep your eye on the postbox.
Believe me, I had ideas about pain and the doctor while I was there but I consider myself, as a holder of a Doctorate to be a Professional, so I only thought many thoughts, Linda thought I was going to call him and say I was going to hunt down his children, burn his house and salt the earth. But Instead I told his receptionist to ask him to review the last many months and look for instances of "due Diligence" on his part in treating me ("due diligence" is the minimum standard of treatment you must meet to keep your licence - so either he will get the hint and suddenly I will have LOTS of tests, or I will have to bring a sledgehammer to next meeting)
Caroline: No objections whatsoever, I miss my GP and Clinic from Wales so bad, it took a while but once you find a good clinic it can be a lifesaver.
My first UK doctor had a huge desk between me and him and him in a large leather chair; he ordered a test for mononeucleosis and I told him I had trypanophobia at which point he ripped up the sheet and told me there was no point treating me at all then, if I was not 'compliant.' - welcome to the UK!
Devi: I was crying once I realized how long I had suffered and asked him what hoop, what trick, what begging or other demand he wanted from me in order to treat or care about me. He just stared at me.
Thanks, I think they are pretty cool postcards too.
Anna: the hospital WOULD keep me if this was not a critically understaffed and overbooked city - the problem is that with autonomic failure, there is not much they CAN do, they often don't have these specialists (for example the city has TWO hospitals but only one Neurologist with hospital privilages), so no, they have said they want to keep me in but since there is not much they can do, a GOOD GP working with specialists is my best bet. I wonder where I can find that?
Yanub: Have passed the news on to Cheryl, Linda has set up a paypal account for fundraising.
Well, he did say when I made the complaint against the neurologist, "I don't care, I can always retire if they investigate" which isn't the MOST inspiring phrase to hear from your GP.
Gaina: No, he didn't. I think that unless he rapes someone he won't even be shadowed - we are so under staffed for doctors that the college won't strike someone off - a guy who had several sexual charges was "mentored" for several months though - I actually thought, "Hey, he might be looking for patients!"
Fridawrites: In the hospital, and alarm goes off when you go below 89% or 85%, but yeah, 72% when I am in a warm room and not talking is pretty low - indeed low enough to qualify for the government to give me FREE oxygen. So will follow up on that.
Still sort of stunned - I mean, is there an adult that you can show blue fingertips too and they NOT know that you might be oxygen decifient. (Hypoxia?)
Yeah a rough couple days. I am very glad that you have gotten your card (we are having some trouble with someone in a sorting station and 10% of cards are being returned last two weeks) - I am really glad you liked it.
Abi: Going to the hello Kitty store tomorrow, I did however get a goth girl in the woods today to show me MANY of her tattoos including hitching up her very short cutoff shorts to show me some of the tattoos there! Woot!
I have no explaination for my GP but Parkinsons or some other disorder.
Lene: I have those feelings too and I have to BE in his office. I came the closest I have in 30 years to hitting anyone, all that boxing training.
Please do hurt him! No, the Hospital assumes that GP's want to keep thier licence so when they sent the note last visit (last month) with my blood work where it was circled in red saying: Anemia, GP treat immediately! - they assumed that might happen - haha! And of course now when I can hardly move about is a perfect time to go GP shopping - but I guess it is that or die - and I don't want to die becuase some guy didn't get his bit of power trip or word in - putting his hand up over my mouth saying "Hold it!" and then talked over my concerns. - shows we are "partners" - huh, because that is how he treats his colleagues?
VeraliDaine: Now where Can I get a tank?
I actually almost did go to the hospital in the US today, but that was for a SPLATACULAR accident in my wheelchair where I almost broke several limbs. And me without insurance over here - eek!
Dawn: That was without - but it was a heated room, but the Reynauds was up to my shoulder, I wanted to see if he would offer oxygen or treatment - he did not. I actually thought of you for the cheetah card but I send it to someone else who was obsessed with animals (might be a referral from you?) - for you I am making a SPECIAL card! No worries.
Donimo: yeah me either - to stand all those days and hours of pain and he didn't even send in the referral. I am in GP hell - I can't get the specialists, and without the specialist to tell him what to do he does NOTHING....for MONTHS.
I am glad you and S. liked the cards - that card was quite, um, yeah, quite! I hope you enjoyed it, it is the edge of femme gender bending no? Did S. like her, um, beach display?
Tammy: Yeah, Right now the only thing that is going well for me is.....er.....I don't know becuase some bean counter in Tacoma has returned and put return stickers over 10%-20% of the cards I send out the last two weeks - so for an average of three hours work a card, it is nice for him to destroy it in a minute. I will go on! Glad to have you back online, I was worried, I email, I postcarded. Worried!
Kathz: sure, if you have it - I haven't given it out much becuase my caregivers have to get the post and that is somewhat a dodgy endeavor. I will return to Canada by Monday.
Neil: this is the one who talked at first about being partners but he has dropped a lot in being proactive in the last 6 months to uselessness. A psuedo-seizure is an epileptic seizure that doesn't show up on a EEG - they are "supposedly" emotional seizures but most epilepsy societies say, they don't know; with 500 "common" epilepsy seizures all they know is that they are almost impossible to treat or stop. however this doctor thinks that I am being a hysterical female and I "calm down" that the seizures will disappear (becuase he knows nothing about seizures); the hospital which has seen seven seizures thinks they are "atypical" which means partial clonic or other seizures - not a classic "tonic-clonic" seizure but a partial which can affect one side, both sides but leave one limb untouched, almost anything. But I also have tonic-clonic which is what used to be "Grand Mals" - I hope that helps - I need to get to an expert (I told my GP what the Canada epilepsy society wanted passed on to him; "What CENTURY did your GP take his training?"
Oh my dear God! So you have'em too, my dear Elizabeth - the elusive sudo-seizure. (Its too early in the morning to spell it properly) Feck - kill that doctor. Simply because a)the pusedo-seizure points to the dreaded Conversion Disorder. (in his eyes). However,we know, dont we my dear friend, that a seizure is a seizure.. and b) it means (in his eyes) that you are loco. Making it up, etc.
well HA! to that! Personally, I would tell that doctor where to go..and get a REAL doctor, one who just might have a care for his patients. I would also sue. Big time.
grrr.
Hi Beth,
Maybe you could find an internist (doctor of internal medicine) to be your primary care giver. My primary doctor is an internist and she takes care of many of my health problems & also oversees the care I receive from specialists.Internal medicine is a specialty & requires further training. Some internists here in the states do primary care or family practice. They often treat more complicated patients. I know you have trouble finding any doctor in Victoria, but if you are venturing further afield, it's something to keep in mind.
Sharon
elizabeth, i love my postcard! half-naked ladies on a beach. NICE. i am using it as a bookmark in "Against Sadomasochism," which i am reading for some reason-- maybe just to remind myself that anti-sm feminists in the 80s were slightly crazed. the bookmark is a refreshing contrast.-- sarah l
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