When I mentioned the Canadian blog, “The Yarn Harlot” the woman spinning said, “Oh, isn’t she Amazing!” Well, the colours are.Here Linda stopped to get $2 worth of peas fresh from the garden that morning.
She helped me eat some peas while I lay down on the Coho Ferry later because she was convinced that Canada Customs would confiscate her 78 cents worth of uneaten peas. And with peas this fresh and tasting of sun and summer that is a crime to a farm girl. For a non-pea fanatic, they were pretty good.I read part of a fictional book today on a family dealing with cancer, or not, as the case may be. What struck me, and angered me was the absence of the details, the vital details that go into disabilities and illness. The parents don't just come home with a label and then some counselor showing up at the home (the greatest irony was this was set in Victoria (local author); as Linda got a counselor after I was sick 15 months; I am still working on getting mine). Disability and illness is about medication and reactions to medications. It is about medical appointments and your loved ones trying to demonstrate love. They do things with you that you always enjoyed but now you are too exhausted to participate or even recognize the meaning in the effort. It is about the depths of new feelings from fatigue to pain that are “gifted to you” and how the different people around you learn to cope with that, or don’t. None of that was in this book. We had the loving, we had the sick, we had the fear of the frail person. We didn’t have the “getting used to”; the part where everyone is tired, bored even with the disability or illness; or where people grieve the ‘person they used to be....” while the person is still THERE.
But right now, pain muddles what was once clear. And I am still in shock from finding the fragility of myself in this trip; unable to ride as a PASSENGER in a car, without passing out, without medical distress. To be unable to shop because my system is too weak. I made the journey, and I looked like a norm, well, a wheelie norm, but I passed out partially or completely about eight times in three hours. What cost for a few peas, eh?
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19 comments:
I love peas! I can not have them on the diet that I am on, but they look so good. Would you believe that I have never had fresh peas? I do hope that you are not in too much pain. ~Hugs~
I looked at your post and had to check it was your blog. I spin and knit and read a lot of fiber blogs so I was momentarily confused.
Would you like some handspun yarn? I have plenty and it doesn't look like I'll be able to knit with it anytime soon (baby.. totally not helping with having time to knit)
You could find someone to knit something for you or you could pet it and squish it and call it Bob, or Emma, whatever. ;-)
Those peas look amazing and the yarn is drool-inducing - those colours! I can just imagine knitting a pair of socks with that. If I could still knit. Dammit.
Sorry the fun is so rough on you. I hope it was worth it?
Hey Sis
The fact that it was quite warm in Port Townsend definitely added to the frequency of your passing out.
You also seem to do better as a passenger when the seat is somewhat reclined so we may need to try that and see if it helps.
I love Port Townsend and I love having you and Linda over as guests.
I don't like books or movies like that. The ill/disabled person is diagnosed, they come home. There's sadness and then they die. Not once does the book/movie show the changes in physical and emotional condition, the toll taken by repeated appointments, the struggle to get meds that help with minimal side effects. They do not reflect the reality of it and that bothers me. I think that showing these sanitized versions helps keep disablism alive.
Ooh, fresh peas! I am not in general a pea fan, but fresh peas are another matter.
There is a bizarre unwillingness in discussions of disability to talk about the sheer physciality of it, even though that's the start of everything in life. This is especially annoying in disability acadameia, where it sometimes seems devotion to the social model overwhelms consideration of the real world. But it is about the body, really, after all.
And bodies are jerks. I'm sorry yours has you so pinned down at the moment. May you have many more days of fresh vegetables!
About details. I recently read a novel about a young man/boy, 15, who was an atleth. His mum suffered from mental illness and his parents tried to hide it from him. Then the boy got some sort of muscular dystrophy, at first he did'nt tell his parents, then when telling his father the father tried to deny it. The novel deals with the boys frustration over disease and unsupporting parents. A novel about growing up to hard to fast. I suppose that it could have been written by "anyone" or maybe not. It is the details that gives you the notion that the author has experienced this or a similar disease. They way he describes the physical sensation so you can feel it. Not in many words, but it's there. Like walking in snow, getting up from a sofa or carrying things.
Shea: Linda and Cheryl love them both; these look particularly good. What, no fresh peas! What a tragedy, get thee to a farmers market right away!
Oh, I am in pain, pain, pain, but I'm still laughing (just a sick leer).
Desdemonoa: Yes, have I suddenly turned into a crafty blog. Alas no, unless buying over the internet with the passion of a thousand fires counts as a "craft."
I like looking at the handspun yarn (is that the stuff in the basket, I assume so). But with my hands, I won't be able to knit in this lifetime (I am sure if I was 'plucky crip' I would figure out some way to do it with my teeth, but...I'm not). I do like getting knitted items (like Taki from Waiting for Rain sent me a knitted frozen gel pack holder for my neck with a skull on it!), but I am not sure what I would do with yarn (if you HAVE the yarn, does the kitten magically appear soon after?).
Lene: The peas were particularly good looking and good tasting though I did not GORGE like some in our family did (will remain unnamed). I was very attracted to both the yarn for the colors and the spindle for the literary connections (so much for my crafty side, show me a spindle and I start thinking Prussian folk tales). Ah, if you still want to knit look at suggestions above for 'plucky crip' as the 'plucky crip' can overcome all, and would knit with eyebrows or something - I don't know them, I just keep reading about them in the paper.
I don't know if it was worth it but doing something is better than nothing, and no risk, no gain. I had a time, it was like mind blowing super, it was for most an average Saturday morning. For me I am still paying for that, but.....I had an average Saturday Morning (thanks to two support people).
Cheryl: I take your word on that, turns out that the shop where I liked everything but wanted it cheaper online - it WAS cheaper in the shop - still out of my price range alas.
I enjoyed coming over and Linda and I both enjoyed the sort of teenage sleepover thing which happened Friday/Saturday with gabbing and stories and even some sex talk! Haven't done that in a long, long time.
Yes, people are complex, and disabilities and illness are complex AND individual, to gloss over that is to wipe out the reality of coping with it, to simplify one of the most complex experiences we have - we don't get to record our birth, but those who are there do so with great delight and zeal and exactness. Why do we then gloss over our death, or our change in level of ability in a society where there is able bodied and OTHER?
Carapace: Same here - peas are what you chase around the plate, sort of eating and jogging combined. These however were nice and flat plus round (like big truck tires), and fresh, tasting like soil and sun.
I agree with you about the academia, which seems to follow the same movement feminism mostly has gone, that if they just get the ABSTRACT theory right, all will follow. Except it doesn't. I can't remember what exactly but Linda was telling a story of disability, but then went, "Oh but I should stop, this isn't representative as this was a 1 in a million" - and I said, "Keep going, just because it is 1 in a million doesn't mean dozens if not hundreds of people have that as thier disability reality; and considering my experience, I am rather INTERESTED in the 1 in a million presentation of illness stories" (I think this was about periods and how Endrometriosis can appear not just in the Fallopean tubes but also in the lungs)
Yeah, my body is like the old bucket, not quite as efficient as it used to be.
Beautiful yarn & my favorite colors. I used to weave, but haven't been able to for years. Tried a little hand spinning back then. But I still enjoy my fibers - switched to stitching.
Beth, I would have loved a Saturday morning like that! Sorry that you're paying for it now, but glad you got to enjoy the Street Market. Yes those of us with chronic illness/disability go through much just to participate in what is considered an "ordinary' day or activity. Even then our participation is limited,sometimes overshadowed by pain, fatigue and other assorted hellish "details". But you were there and with friends - for that I am glad.
My Saturday was made much more cheerful & memorable by the arrival of a very special package.
Sharon
An Ashford wheel! I have an Ashford wheel. That's some pretty, pretty fiber to go with it too. I'm currently spinning up some nice recycled soda-bottle fiber into sock yarn. I'm a texture hound more than a color addict, but pretty colors always make me perk up.
And there's absolutely nothing wrong with buying some really lovely fiber or handspun yarn just to pet it and admire it. Xaviera the alpaca has resided in my craft room in fleece form for nearly two years now. I'm enjoying seeing and petting her loose baby coat far too much to spin her up yet.
Of course, there is a price to pay for going out and about. There's being incapacitated in public, and there's the aftermath recuperation period that lasts hours to days.
But there is a worse price for staying at home. To lose contact with the stream of humanity in all its variation, to be isolated and uninspired, to be unseen and forgotten. And staying at home merely means that the pain and difficulty is more predictable. It doesn't mean you will be without pain and trouble. Being out and about is worth the price to be paid, even though the price is high.
Hmmm. Somewhere in this lurks a fairy story. I can tell because there was garden produce, a spindle, and a moral.
I have a friend who would LOOOOOOVE the yarn spinning!
Mmmmmmm, fresh peas.
Get some rest, sweetie. Then we can start on our screenplay. *grin*
So sorry that you are discovering more losses Beth. I think that Cheryl has a good idea with reclining the seat back some. Could you also be experiencing some motion sickness? Crank that AC in the car. Tell others to wear more clothes!
Garden fresh is always the best! I am into the tomato, corn, green bean, broccoli and new potato phase right at the moment.
Unfortunately, I am not that kind of crafty although I can knit just a bit. I can knit with circular needles too but not fancy and I still haven't figured out how to make arm holes for Hannah yet.(Chihuahua) She gets girdles.
Just take it easy kiddo!
Hugs,
Laura
the book you were reading?
That's why they call it fiction.
For a few years, when I was growing up, we had a half acre garden. Now, I'm fine with the produce but I'll gladly let someone else do the work!
I just found this on one of the disability web sites I read:
Michelle Colvard, the reigning Ms. Wheelchair America, is touring the nation to challenge stereotypes about women with disabilities. The 32-year-old Colvard also serves as executive director of the mayor’s office for people with disabilities in Houston.
In a Q&A, Colvard says she wants the public to stop seeing women with disabilities as victims or heroes, and just relate to them as people like everybody else.
Anna: that book sounds quite interesting, do you remember the title?
SharonMV: I am sorry that you cannot currently weave, but glad you found a way to still enjoy the fibres.
What you say about the cost but also the worth of it is true. Yes, I could have stayed inside but then, I wouldn't have met people, or gotten myself in trouble talking about hello kitty S&M to a 16 year old (Bad BETH!), or gotten pictures or done anything, just stayed preserved, bottled up. And so much of my life seems like that anyway.
I am glad the package was of some value emotionally.
Perpetual Beginner: Oh no, down into Weaving Otaku country when people start naming the wheel. I like that you go for texture, I am a little disturbed that you have named a bundle of yarn but then, with all my eccentricities to get me through the day, that seems perfectly reasonable.
Yanub: Yes, exactly, that is what I traded, the unpredicable possiblity of a good to great time with the also unpredictable aspects of that cost with the predicable coccoon. And so far, with me, I still take the risks, even if it means making the plan a little bigger.
Dawn: Well, I was GOING to rest today but then it turned into the "let's catch up on all the things we don't have time for the other days" day - which resulted in a big old seizure and more pain. Ow. But yeah, nice spindle, good peas!
Laura: No, not car sick, it is just the vibration of the car or the swerving causes use of muscles, that is just normal in most people while for me, now, that is too much, or rather too concentrated, perhaps in the upper torso, so reclining might spread that around a bit more, less stress on the heart? Who knows.
Don't worry, I am not that kind of crafty either, I just liked it becuase it had the same footplate that was first transfered onto sewing machines, the whole transferable history, people using foot motions in sewing machines unknown that they are similar or the same to those used hundreds of years ago to make yarn.
Raccoon: I would disagree, that's why I call it crap fiction. Or rather, if the story was compelling enough, I wouldn't have needed that bit told, but it wasn't. As Robertson Davies was often complimented on his book Fifth Business about his ability to discribe the battlefield, when he said, "I knew nothing about the battlefield, so I focused on the story and threw in a bit of mud."
a half acre? - is that a garden or a hobby farm? Seems a little BIG for just a garden, either that or you were REALLY hungry!
Tom P: I have a very old post about Ms. Wheelchair America, since as an American, I could participate. And wrote about the disqualification of the previous Ms. Wheelchair America becuase SHE STOOD UP, even though she had Muscular Dystrophy. Becuase a requirement of winning is that you stay seated at ALL TIMES in public (and she stood during teaching her class once). In fact three of the last five winners have had MD.
So I have mixed feelings. I am glad she is going around, but also, by the very nature of the contract she signed, if she actually talks about or worse SHOWS the complex nature of wheelchair use (since many para's can stand for a very limited period as well), then she is stripped of her title? I am glad of her comment in Q & A and thank you for sharing it. And I hope you think I am not attacking you, I just happen to have some baggage, that's all.
That is why what you write on the blog is so valuable. Not that many people write about it, and not that many people understand it. Your skill educating the world...
Oh dear, it does sound like I named the fiber, doesn't it?
Xaviera was the name of the alpaca from whom the fleece was shorn. I bought her entire first shearing - I.e. her baby fleece, which is the finest and softest. I do tend to associate the fleece in my room a little overly strongly with the truly adorable alpaca from whom it came (black with rust and gold highlights), but I didn't actually give it its own name.
I know you are not attacking me. It was the quote I really wanted to share.
The peas look delicious, and the yarn is gorgeous. I made felt on the SCA weekend, but very poor quality. Fun to try, very messy, and now I know how to flat-felt. LOTS of time-intensive work, but fun to try once.
Hugs and more hugs,
Neil
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