I like many others before turn to literature to find myself both mentally and emotionally engaged, and to see my life and my interests reflected. However, whether in visual or print media, since I am not currently planning to become a murderer, rapist or other criminal (1/2 of TV shows), or a convict in need of escape (Prison Break). I think I would make a GREAT investigator or Abby in some tech lab and have applied to several policing and secret service agencies, including those with REQUIREMENTS to hire those with disabilities (RCMP, SCIS), but so far no luck.
Where can I go where an ordinary girl, who happens to have an interest in swords (Claymore, Utena), or books (Read or Die), or even doing dangerous things (My Hime)? Where is your orientation and relationships reflected in the world where Religious Right groups combine to kill programming (My Hime, Strawberry Panic)? Welcome to the world of anime.
So when I need to be reminded what my life is like from the back of the motorcycle, there is always one of the characters from My Hime (up at the start), who is very, um, compelling (also likes to throw herself off buildings).
Or when I get into what Cheryl calls, “My Old Testament mindset” there are anime for that too. Here is a nice poster from one (I got it in the post – mmmmm, who loves me.....um, me!). Though I tend toward a series called Scryed, whose main character says, “Once you have decided what it right, and committed yourself, not matter the cost, no matter the opposition, there is no other way.” Later, while a group of people are held hostage and he is wounded, perhaps to death, instead of surrendering he prepares to attack. He has committed himself, no matter what the cost. It actually drives the opposing guy into permanent insanity. Hmmm, perhaps THAT is why I like it.
Then there is Linda and I, who while still shunned, judged and discriminated on in the real world. While in anime world, not only are whole schools lesbian (Strawberry Panic) but any good Shojo anime will have at least one lesbian pair or relationship (We just finished watching the romance, Myself, Yourself of 13 episodes which included a surprise lesbian pash confession). Back in Real World, the BC medical system, who it seems hasn’t been told that lesbian marriages exist much less are legal discriminate from subtle to blatant: that’s what has kept Linda out of many an ambulance, and ER. My workers from Juan De Fuca took great delight in telling me that Linda was listed AGAIN as my “sister” when Beacon took over. I guess, “smoking hot lesbian lover of 15 years” doesn’t have a box to check on their forms yet? So is me having posters like this of the two of US with cat ears by the fireplace considered a “sexually harassing workplace” for my workers (I am the one with black cat ears, Linda gets white ones for her innocence!), or are Linda and I being discriminated against by the workers offended by these posters and others. I guess I will just keep putting up more and more until I find out! (works for ME!)
And while there isn’t literature to cover what I am going through, there is anime, one called AIR TV, where in a place I call, “Screwed up girl town”, we have 1) a self harming girl who goes into a disassociative state and cuts, and thus has to wear a ribbon on her wrist to stop her – blue haired (Check!). 2) A girl who has had a sibling die and can’t give her up. And 3) A girl who goes around doing and saying odd things (she says “Gao!” a lot, and her hobby is drinking the odd drinks in drink machines like “peach/banana” (Odd obsessive hobbies - check!). Only she is being affected with a memory disorder (check!), and a peripheral neuropathy which soon makes her legs useless (double check!) and leaves her in agonizing pain (triple check!). And she’s dying. Golly, what is it about this anime that could possibly speak to me? Oh, and she dreams of flying. This is a taste of the anime (for those who haven’t seen this AMV before) set to the tune, “you are loved.”
As for me, it is this video about a girl, who run the long distances, competes, and falls in love, once with a girl she trains with who is injured and then as she advances to the next round with Chris, a tall butch (with green hair?). It is about the nature of self competition, the nature of love and sports, the nature of sports and trying, whether you win or not. It is motivation, it is endurance, it is about tasting defeat and going on, and that defeat makes you stronger not weaker, it lets you continue with confidence because you have faced the worst and survived. In many ways, chronic illness and disability is like marathon running. Endurance running: That's what I did for over 15 years (because it is was the most physically and emotional painful sport I could find..until Sabre, then Epee). This is from the Series Battle Athletes and is titled Nothing Can Stop Us. Pinky promise!
11 hours ago