Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The pink fluffy? Some Hello Kitty, some pre-grand Mal, another day.

I couldn’t make up this. You all saw and gave an opinion on the pink headband: it just wasn’t me. On the same day, I am given a present, by a third party. And a card. It is from my mother (she doesn't read the blog); she writes to tell me she is praying for me (Geez mom, you live four blocks away! Anything OTHER than prayer enter your mind? Oh well, like I said, it is often the Christian Code Phrase for “I’m running away as fast as I can.” She’s also praying for me in general.)

She sent me a present. I start to unwrap it and this is what I see….
No. No! Seriously, this is some sort of sick cosmic irony! I mean I know parents are bad at gifts when you are a teen usually but……

I unwrap the rest and find, THANK GOD! It is NOT that pink poofy head band, no, it is pink, poofy, fu-fu, over the top Hello Kitty Bling pack for little girls. Two glitter nail polish, three glitter lip gloss, I have no idea what some of these items are and an over the top case to keep about half of them and your pink feathery top with the faux pink pearls to carry them.

Sigh. So the part where I am sort of getting into Hello Kitty since I have a Hello Kitty Vibrator and some Hello Kitty Goth Lolita stuff has sunk in; but not that I like the subversive stuff. This is the stuff that made me HATE hello kitty, until I started finding Hello Kitty punk stationary and the like. I mean, one of the stickers I send out is Hello Kitty as a Vegas Girl with headdress! I almost feel bad, my mother probably had to knock over a few children to buy this. Where DID she buy it? Actually, not thinking about that. This will make a great present for a girl or femme boy, niece, nephew, daughter son, please drop me a line. While I sort of appreciate the thought, it means that a) I need to take over my Hello Kitty stuff with skulls and anarchy symbols to my mom and show her difference between that and faux pearls and b) she wanted to give this to some innocent girl, it is just that isn’t me. And while I am not going to play pretend anymore it doesn't mean that there aren’t innocent girls or boys out there who would love this for sleepover or dress up. So email me?

Other than that I have arrived to the end of Day 18, I am a road kill. Tomorrow I get an assisted shower and then will be in bed. Seriously. Today I slept and slept. I have nightmares but still sleep. Yesterday, the same woman who told me to get an 18 inch wide chair because I could do the “woman squish” against the hip/clothing guards; who gave me a 17 inch indoor chair months ago is ordering me a 16 inch wide electric chair. So don’t worry, I’m not half the person I used to be, just sort of 5/6ths.

Anyway, Linda took this Sunday morning as my limbs were started to spasm, video
this led to a partial and then to a grand mal where I managed to smash part of my shoulder. It is rather weird, you wake up, exhausted, you sleep and find all sorts of bruises on yourself, and muscles torn.

Today, I posted two postcards. I prepared four surprises. I put addresses on seven more postcards. I cannot come to the phone, I cannot come to the doctor’s office, sorry, I am previously engaged.

In an aside, with all the oxygen I am on, I wish they would offer flavors, you know an hour long tank of cinnamon, or baked apple. I am getting ‘oxygen lines’ like I used to get dents in my nose from my glasses.

Oh, Beacon cancelled my scheduled overnighter an hour before 10:00 pm. Ack. A plague of locust in their underwear!


yanub said...

Bwahahaha! Your mom has a real knack for getting you just the right thing. It does show that she is trying to understand you. It also demonstrates that trying isn't the same as succeeding.

Great seizure footage. Now that you have it, can you send it to your doctor so he can just rewind everytime he gets it into his tiny mind that he needs to see you have a seizure?

Kita said...

Jeasus Beth - that seizure. I'm not even sure of what to say, except for perhaps your mother should 'pray' (HA HA!) for you a little more. Maybe even come visit you, sometimes.
Perhaps even care a little.
(My mother is the same. Ultra religious, moved house and never told me where to.. you get the picture)

I have pseudo-epilepsy. Big words for 'we don't have a clue why you are having these seizures, so go away and stop bothering us'. Been having them since I was 18, have no meds for it and just have to get along with it. At one point I was having 12 - 15 seizures a day, no joking. We have them down to perhaps one per month. The luck of the devil, perhaps.

Anyway, I waffle. Take care of yourself as much as possible...

Gaina said...

'A plague of locusts in their underwear!' haha, like that one.

My friend, who also reads your blog is still having nightmares about the Hello Kitty Vibrator, you know?

Neil said...

Okay, Beth, I admit it: NOBODY should be tough enough to wear That pink! Mom is still in denial, isn't she? See, if you wear the right girly-girl stuff, then you'll magically be all better and marry the high school quarterback (the one from the all-boys school if you were in a same-sex high school).

Sorry, I'm not impressed with your parents. We gotta learn how to choose better parents somehow.

Yanub: the video won't do it for the doctor; Photoshop, you know. Beth's actually a healthy, 5'10" male - he's just photoshopping himself when he goes to the doctor. Yeah, and the postcards from Japan were done with Photoshopped stamps, and the oxygen tanks are really holograms. (Oh, I'm sorry, Beth, did a tiny hint of sarcasm just show through?)

When my kidneys fst started doing tricks, I got sent to a quack who gave me a togue-lashing because A) I couldn't breath in and out fast enough furing the biopsy, and wasted his time - and he only gt &75 fr the procedure; B) I DARED to ask for a second opinion, and from a doctor he hated. Fortunately, I was able to dump him and demand a referral to Dr. Wilson. Dr. Wilson actually apologized once for making me wait five minutes after the scheduled appointment time. And he's a good doctor. But I'm beginning to suspect the neurologists here suck as bad as they do there.

I'm sorry that I can't offer much more than prayers and wishes for you, Beth. I'd be there for you as much as I could, but there're too many mountains between us.


Tom P. said...

That would have been a great gift for my daughter about 5... no, 8 years ago. :D

Here is the part I don't get. I know that parents don't always know what their daughters likes but... why not? Don't they ever ask? If I had to get my daughter a gift right this minute, I can think of 20 things that I could get her that I KNOW she would love, starting from the incredibly lazy gift (a gift certificate to Hot Topic) to the more daring (a pair of lace up knee-high boots).

So seriously, what is the big deal about knowing something about your own child?

And flavored oxygen sounds like a fantastic idea. Better patent it before someone else does! :)

FridaWrites said...

I thought for sure it was a pink headband, wow. Moms always almost get things, it's not just yours. I can't get into the video now, but sometimes I have better luck when I try later.

I like the subversive Kitty stuff too. If only they had the wrist bp cuff.

Flavored oxygen, there's an idea. Aromatherapy at the same time. Would be nice and calming in the hospitals, the odor from the new tubing is awful and panic inducing. I'd be one of those patients trying to take it off if it were used for anything other than surgery.

Lene Andersen said...

Well, at least your mom got it partly right?? And although I do have a niece, I am doing my best to not participate in steering her towards the pink. Hope someone else will love it.

Love the lullaby music to the video. Very... erm... ironic.

Hope you have a good day with lots of restful sleep.

yanub said...

Kita, can you find a new neurologist? Maybe one who knows something about migraines? Because one of the ways migraines can show up is in seizures instead of the more usual headache and nausea.

Kita said...

Yanub, I just recently went to get all my teeth taken out and the dentist has already put my name through to a Neuro for an MRI. I have numbness on the left side of my mouth and he want's to know why. I'm just waiting an appointment. Strange how things turn out, isnt it?

Veralidaine said...

"A plague of locusts in their underwear?" That's my new phrase. A plague of locusts in the underwear of all Victoria neurologists, all seizure-doubters, and a plague of locusts in the underwear of whomever invented the "third gender" thing for people with disabilities, while we're at it!

I also think you should patent that flavored oxygen. They have an oxygen bar in Aspen, Colorado where people can come inhale flavored oxygen, so they DO make it, but not in tank size-- couldn't be too hard to patent and sell the canisters of it for people who have to be on it all the time, not just yuppies who pay $30 for a few whiffs!

Dawn Allenbach said...

Whoa -- pink, fluffy Hello Kitty. Just say no. Loudly.

I know those oxygen lines, even though I'm only on when I sleep. They go across your zygomatic processes -- er, cheek bones.

Sleep. Recuperate. I wish you pleasant dreams, or at least no nightmares.

Will watch the vid when I'm not on dial-up.

Shea said...

My daughters love this kind of stuff. Maybe your mom was just trying to get it right. Being a parent I am told I miss the mark often, but I keep trying. I did however find that to buy my oldest daughter's clothes, I just pick out the most awful thing I see, and she loves it. I hope that your mom comes and sees you at least every so often. I imagine if she is very religious a lot of stuff must be hard for her. You don't have to publish what I am about to say, and I hope you do not take offense to it either. I consider myself a Christian, stumblingly but still a Christian. I am NOT saying your not or judging you. However, my religion says that homosexuality is wrong. This is where it gets sticky for me. I have never really had a problem with people being homosexual. I have issues with blatant casual sex in non committed(homosexual or straight) relationships, but can not seem to reconcile judging who someone loves. Take for instance your Linda. I am just using her as a hypothetical. Say I am a woman and I met her (assuming there was no You). Say I decided she was perfect in every way, and I wanted a committed relationship with her. Say she felt exactly the same way. She's kind, devoted, pretty, smart, and a good partner(all things you beam about her by the way). Then I come to the conclusion that I love her, and by the way, she's a woman. I imagine it I would have a hard time finding a reason to tell myself that this has to be wrong. Just because I choose not to be gay, and I say choose because for me, it was something I thought about, does not mean that I judge anyone else for either choosing that path or "being born that way". I know I have taken an awfully long time to get to the point, and I'll try again to get to it. For me being a Christian, I get stuck with these sort of dilemmas almost daily. I choose to try and keep pretty straight to what I believe the Bible says, but I do not judge others. For all I know God might have no problem at all with homosexuality though the Bible says differently. I do not profess to know everything he thinks, and I can not change my heart which sees no gender, race, or sense in distinguishing whom one loves. It's one of those things that I just agree to disagree with God on, but I respect his views very much. Anyway, my point is that I feel sorry for people and parents who can not find it in themselves to just accept their children and use religion or other means to further themselves from them. In my heart, I think what your mom sent you was her way of reaching out, and it was the best means she had. It was way off, maybe like lots of her views, but I bet she has to love you quite a bit. I know I love you, and I have never met you at all. It's that Christian love that so many people do not get. It's the kind of love that does not judge or ask anything back in return. I love you because you always think of others, you try so hard to be thoughtful and respond to each post, and you just seem like you have a genuine good heart. No beliefs or pre conceived notion I have could ever change any of that about you. If I am way off with this post, please accept my utmost apologies which come from the heart. I hope your mother comes around. It's is abundantly clear to me that she is missing one hell of a daughter.You know when I think about Jesus, I always seem to come back to the fact that he just accepted everyone. He was very much a gentleman. He spent no time forcing other to believe as he did. He just offered up his views and gave people the option to agree or disagree. That is what Christianity should be about in reality, at least in my humble opinion. As I said before, I do not know you, but I am so glad that you have Linda for a companion and life mate. The things you tell us about her, brings me a lot of comfort in knowing that you are being taken care of so well. Of course you also have such good friends too that are there for you. Maybe one day you mom will come around. In the meantime, look at that gift and see that it came from someone with her heart riding the fence right now. She has one foot in what she conceives as the fire and one on steady ground. Hopefully love will win in the end, and she'll tell the devil to go to hell, and be there for you.

Laura said...

"A plague of locusts in their underwear" is another gem in the Elizabeth Fucking McClung book of curses. For those who have never held a locust, they spit a tobacco like spittle and they do bite, hard!

Thank you for the video of pre-seizure activity. Very painful. Was that the sadistic Beth that put the music to that video? You do have a way with putting the right music to video.

I am so glad that Dr. McClung is out for the day and perhaps tomorrow too. You deserve to rest after the last 18 days.

PINK Hello Kitty glitter cosmetics? NO, it is just plain wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Was I clear on that? Beth, that is something My Mother would do.


Anna said...

Agree with Shea....
But mums not an easy matter, or daughters:)

Couldn't watch the video, to scary.
worked with a guy who got grand mals at work. It was OK when you got used to it. Not use to it now.

good night
mailing you a picture of pink Jesus

cheryl g said...

Barbara Cartland would just love it! The pink fluff matches her dress.

I love your curse and would indeed like to see such a plague visited upon the administrators at Beacon!

Love the flavored oxygen idea!

Elizabeth McClung said...

I can only do a few comments but I will definately come back (including yours Shea - I do think sometimes mothers and daughters have it different - remember, even Jesus got pushed around when his mother bullied him into his first miracle - so love, but a "Do what I tell you, when I tell you" love, at least then.).

Yanub: Yeah, what timing. Um, I am not sure how to tell her without hurting her feelings but I can't have her giving me more and more of this stuff.

It was just limb seizure, because I was still conscious, but in pain, the partial I lost consciousness as well as the grand Mal. Apparently I need to get a tongue guard? But I figured even a 'minor' moment that Linda happened to film before she had to help hold me down as I went into seizure would give some idea for people.

Kita: Well considering that we don't even count stuff like that AS a seizure, it is just that it grew up from my legs and arms and then turned into one - a creeping thing which is pretty hell, you are WAITING for the "pass out" part. Pray harder. I can't say why she doesn't want to be there, I know a lot of people have problems seeing seizures and I guess seeing so much loss of control combined with brain go FIZZZ! is hard (on me too ya know!).

Dunno, seems to me you have it worse, at least I have a raft of pills that should cut my seizures down once they get done with thier tests. But if you seizures don't respond to pills - well that just sucks totally. Already I am having problems with Grand Mal 'jaw clamping' becuase I don't want it to remove all of my crowns (the ONE I have) because of jaw tension - I mean seizures bad enough - seizures AND dentist - super suck! (oh does your comment later on about getting all your teeth out have to do with the Grand mal jaw lock...becuase not looking forward to THAT.)

12 a day - ack, 1 a month is better - do you get the "aura" which for me is smell/taste of burning or "Something is happening, something is happening" then WHAMMO!

Gaina: Glad I made you laugh, sorry about your friend, I will promise NOT to post Hello Kitty Vibrator vending machines or any of my Hello Kitty Vibrators for at least um....a couple weeks. Other subversive Hello Kitty stuff is fair game however.

Neil: Yup, looks like I am NOT tough enough for that. Yeah, I can't tell if I have somehow tapped into her 'stepford wife' dream or something.

Yeah, gosh, pretending to be me is a lot of technological work isn't it. Seriously, isn't Elizabeth enought, why WOULD anyone want to be me much less make up me, I can understand why people want to talk to me or watch what I do in the same way we like watching Gonzo trying to jump 27 chickens in his motorcycle - but does anyone want to BE Gonzo?

Yeah, mountains suck, we should meet in Calgary....wait, that mean I get all the mountains. Okay how about we meet somewhere flat like....VENICE?

Tom P: Hey, I like Hot topic gift certificates too! Seriously, I know what you mean, I don't know why but my parents always seem to give me gifts that I "should" enjoy instead of the ones I wanted. I knew they loved me but they seemed WAY into the "molding" thing (seriously dad, what was the deal with the microscope at aged 11?)

Yes, I get tired of the stale old taste of high concentrate oxygen, I better get going on that.

Actually my first response was "Adopt me! Adopt Me!" except I HAVE knee high lace up boots already! And trick fairy T-shirts.

Frida: for the first minute or two, I just sat there becuase I was SURE it was the same headband from the picture that we all agreed WASN'T me and was like, "Oh no!" But then it turned out to be different, but not SO different.

Yes, I agree, the wrist BP cuff is a must because grey and tan is just not cool. I want more medical supplies, I want stickers ON my chair of Hello kitty IN a wheelchair - that would be sweet (actually she would probably be giving out apples so that would be sweet like "nice" and 'sweet' like 'rockin!')

Lene: Oh come on, we know the "neice" thing is just a ruse and you want this YOURSELF! You want your caregivers to make your toenails are sparkly (actually making a caregiver do that does sound almost sadistically fun!).

Give me another nudge, nudge and it will be yours!

Okay, write the rest later tonight, got to sleep - I have a boat to catch!

FridaWrites said...

Yeah, yeah, wheelchair HK!!

Elizabeth McClung said...

Kita: I want to ask and don't to ask, all the teeth?

Veralidaine: yes, a plague of locust all around please!

I know in Japan and other cities they have oxygen bars and aparently flavored oxygen in 7-11 in Tokyo somewhere (couldn't find it) but since Japan steals copyright like the day is long I have no problem stealing back. Seriously, I had almost an entire course on who steal copywrite and who doesn't.

Dawn: Yes, I had to put a cloth over it because it was glowing with a pink glow.

yup dem cheek bones. One day I am going to send you a postcard in bio speak an no postal worker will be able to read it.

Vid - probably nothing you've not seen more than a few times.

On dial up so will reply for the rest tomorrow!

rachelcreative said...

Oooh cinammon oxygen. They must do fancy oxygen because don't they have like oxygen bars in places like Japan? I'm sure I've seen that on telly.

I could go for Hello Kitty sparkly nail varnish - but would prefer less kiddy sized versions. Ah well. At least she is trying even if she's not quite on the mark. Ah well.

Kita said...

Beth, the reason that I had all my teeth taken out was because for the last 10 years I have been grinding my teeth due to the Fibro. Eventually, something had to give... and I am sooooooooo glad I did! I can eat again! whohoo!