Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Human Silly Putty, the mystery MRI and one hell day.

I would love to tell you about my day but I don’t know if I can, I am THAT exhausted, and this is only the FIRST of three HELL days. But buckle up, here we go!

First, I am dehydrated it seems, but no one knows why or can stop it. The simple test is pushing, like pinching a finger and it is supposed to pop back in three seconds. If it the imprint is still there 20 seconds later, you are dehydrated. Well, with one home care worker I held out my palm and said, “Hey, put your thumb print in!” She pushed her thumb into my hand and a minute later there was still her thumb print.

“I am HUMAN SILLY PUTTY!” I declared. And used the side of my hand to make an imprint of some earrings. I egged the worker to try doing a fingerprint set on the palm from my pinky down.

The worker was edging away, “That’s not normal!” she declared since my palm now still had her thumb print and earrings outlines.

“Of course it isn’t normal, this is me! This is supposed to show I am dehydrated, but let’s play with it.” And I started shaping parts of my palm into a ridge of mountain, which stood there, my own little landscape.

“Shouldn’t you be worried?” the worker asked.

“Nah,” I told her, “I have fingers that turn black, this is nothing odd compared to that!”

Anyway, I was up at 7:00 something to be at the blood clinic for 8:30 exactly because that is when the woman who works with me with our needle protocol was in. She took the three PAGES of tests and said, “I don’t know if we can do all these!”

If I could stand I would have been hopping from one foot to another and was saying, “You said we would go right in LINDA!”

See, let’s say you are scared of spiders or bees in the car with you and your doctor has ordered that you are to be lowered into a giant BOX of spiders (or bees) which will crawl all over you for several minutes as some sort of medical test. Now that doesn’t sound very fun, does it? So what if you arrived, all doped up and trying your “calm breathing” and they say, “Golly, I don’t know, why don’t you sit over there, while we add another couple dozen spiders to the box and see if they are crawling enough for this test.” Well, that doesn’t REALLY calm you down does it? That is what this woman was saying.

Anyway they put me in Room Three (the wheelchair room) and we waited and waited and Linda looked out and the tech was having to call the labs to see if they could do all these odd tests no one had heard of which were being requested. I noticed that Neuro people had me checked for HIV. I wondered if they noticed I had been tested 9 months ago, or cared? Probably not. They checked my blood thinner (aspirin for stroke) and then we waited and waited. We had given her the name of the Rheumatologist we had blackmailed our GP to see (we weren’t doing these tests until he finally months after his promise, he made the referral!). So the vials and the orders for tests were bring printed up.

“How many?” I asked Linda.

She said, “We are just going to do as many as we can, maybe 10 vials and then we will do the rest when we come back.”

“How MANY!” I said with my voice going up at the end.

My previous record was 14 vials, which took I don’t how long. It was not a record I wanted to repeat.

Linda looked down, "Well....twenty vials….in the first batch.”

I was freaking and the tech was still printing them out.

I told Linda, I have to do the down-slope, I can’t come back facing 10+. We agreed with the tech to do as many as I could and when I screamed “STOP” they would stop there and do the rest, because I had to go EAT and then come back EXACTLY two hours later and do the next batch. Welcome to MY PERSONAL HELL.

The printing finally got done and I listened to my music and they took off the EMLA and my vein was bulging and I said “yes” for Linda to grab my arm as a tourniquet. Then I started to listening to something hard beat and started screaming “Go, go, go, go, go, go!”

Well, see, this is the first 10 or 15 seconds where you are going, “Okay, I have my own personal phobia right here INSERTED into my body, but I can deal with that.” It is like being LOWERED into the box of spiders and the lid closes. And then the spiders (or bees) start crawling all over you and you think, come on, it is almost over. Only you know it isn’t over and you are THERE and the spiders all over you crawling, crawling, every inch of you. Well that is what happens at about 20 seconds in and I screamed. And I mean SCREAMED for I guess 70 seconds because even I thought I would give out but as long as the needle was in me I somehow found enough oxygen in me to keep screaming, one LONG continuous scream (I actually remember thinking if this was a note and I held it this long, I could get a record contract!). There wasn’t a question about the people in the waiting room hearing it. Linda said she wasn’t surprised if her doctor two floors up in the same building didn’t hear it.

But were they done? No. So either I had to yell "stop" and come back and do it again or I hang in there and just keep screaming. So I sucked in breaths and screamed things, anything but the word ‘stop’. Since I could FEEL the needle in me, I think I screamed, “I FEEL IT!” a few times. Then the tech says to Linda, “drop your arms.” It turns out that the last vial needed, as required BY the test to be filled simply with blood pressure, without a tourniquet. And it was taking FOREVER. What I did not know is that while there was a needle sticking out of my arm, no blood was coming out. Remember how I have problems with vascular constriction? Seems that includes the big viens too. Guess that is why I am not getting enough oxygen. In the end, Linda had to pump my arm like someone squeezing the last of the toothpaste out of the roll to get the blood (this needle was in the bend of my elbow).

Then I had to go and fill a urine sample to the top. I held the sample and said, “And this is AFTER I have fasted for all night AND went to the bathroom when I woke up?” Yup. So I am there thinking of Niagara Falls and anything else and get 4/5ths full and I think, “Good thing my autonomic failure is retention, what would they do if it was incontinence? Wring out my Depends?”

We come out and the tech has this look on her face. I have seen that face before on other people. So I said, “You have to do more don’t you?” Turns out yes, she does. Plus it seems that about when I had my needle, a car wiped out into all the cars parked next to the road where the clinic is located.

I immediately said, “That wasn’t me!”

Hey I can scream loud, but cause accidents, gosh, I hope not!

Yes, I had to go BACK up on the table and they needed another ‘freeflow’ full vial from me BEFORE I ate. I sighed and Linda got me on the table, I started to listening to "Paint it Black" and we got it done. I wouldn’t flow then either, and was just yelling “Go, go, do it, go!” for about 30 seconds while Linda had to “cheat” again. I am a little unclear about the end because Linda says I tried to look several times but my arm had blood on it (I had to wash the blood off my arm before in the bathroom after round one), so she kept me down and then I went into a Grand Mal seizure. So when I came to the tech was gone and Linda was looking down and I was talking the “Wa wa wa” talk where I am the ONLY person in the world who knows how to talk right it seems, but no one can understand me.

We were then given the container and the dixie cups to collect my urine for the next 24 hours and finally I was free. I had only slept 6 hours the night before with nightmares and this first part had taken TWO HOURS. Linda pushed me home, I ate and then peed so I could go to sleep for 50 minutes (turns out our toilet isn’t really deep enough for BIG dixie cups, I wonder which home toilets are?). So played that game. Poured into bed. Almost asleep. The phone rings. Linda leaves. I sleep 25 minutes and I am up again, putting up the hair again and wheeling off for round three.

The phone? It was my GP, he had tried Linda at work and then at home, he REALLY wanted to talk to her. Needed to change the appointment time on Thursday. Wanted to see us as soon as possible. The MRI results had come back (Linda forgot to ask what they were) but suddenly, my GP who needed months and blackmailing to get a Rheumatologist is saying that the appointment he could get was for December and that isn’t FAST enough and now we have a NEW Rheumatologist. I didn’t get it, he could care less how long it took for specialists before, and now he NEEDS a Rheumatologist now?! Then Linda tells him how I am not breathing well and I need a respirologist. No problem, he has several in mind and will recommend them right away. She tells him about the portable converter. He will do the note no problem.

I am saying, “Who was that? Because that’s not my GP!” Followed by, “Get in that wording Blue Cross needs for the oxygen converter note TODAY, before whatever he was taking on the vacation wears off!”

Turns out the Blue Cross letter is at work, Linda will fax it in tomorrow and pick up the note tomorrow afternoon. But that isn’t all. Talking to the GP she says, “We know you don’t feel comfortable prescribing pain medication, so we were thinking about a pain specialist” (This is where we thought he would balk).

Instead he says, “That sounds like a good idea, I know someone who is really good, who were you thinking of?” She opened the email we received from local readers and gave the name and he said he knew him and that guy was really good and who he was thinking of and he would set it up.

AGAIN, who IS THIS?

I said to Linda, “I don’t know what came back on that MRI but it lit a fire under him”

She agreed.

Actually that worried me, what could BE on a section of MRI that required the chief radiologist to come exam the MRI’s while I was IN the machine and then shoot even more sections? Not only that, the GP WANTS to talk to Cheryl about the seizures. Before, he wasn’t interested. What is ON that MRI? See in Canada, if it comes back negative, they never say anything; you might ask a meeting or two later and they go, “Oh turned out to be negative.” Not calls and three new specialists. Oh well, find out soon enough.

I was drugged and back and we tell the woman (very nice woman) that in the last two hours we have a NEW Rheumatologist and give her that name and number. She has this look like, “I kind of WANT to strangle you for all the paperwork I have to redo” but said with a pleasant voice between gritted teeth that LUCKILY none of the blood had left the lab yet.

I am back up on the bed and it turns out this blood series is to be another free flow thing and for the third time we prove that my vagovascular system is totally fucked, because you stick me, I don’t bleed. I am ZOMBIE BETH and I am coming to a town near you. (woo hoo, failed at LEAST two witch tests, and does my seizure speak count as talking in the ‘devils tongue’? I would like to say after this I went home and ‘rode my broomstick’ but I was too tired for that, even with the new batteries).

I am rewarded after the third blood stick by having to fill ANOTHER vial of pee. Linda meanwhile has to fill in an “incident report” about my seizure.

Anyway, we were done and wheeled and staggered back home.

More dixie cups in the toilet, more pee on my hand. More OCD hand washing. Finally get to bed, I have an hour and 25 minutes before the next appointment. We get into bed, almost asleep and…the phone rings! God we can’t win!

It is the lab we gave blood at. Linda and I look at each other with the eyes of people making a mutual suicide pact if we are told we have to go back there today. No, they are calling to tell us to THROW AWAY all the pee I have collected today. They have decided I need to start collecting the pee tomorrow. Wha?

We go back to bed and get to sleep a bit. And people wonder WHY I hate the tests and the lab work.

We go to my appointment at Triumph. We were to get the keyboard and the air con. We have. They haven’t reimbursed us. My “coach” M. was supposed to get me the OT recommended wheelchair (with head rest and tilt). She didn’t call anyone but emailed me almost every day telling me that I should do it. That she just needed a “money number.” I called R. at Motion Specialties and gave him M.’s number and said, she doesn’t GET what ordering wheelchairs are about (just the wheels can cost $450-$2000), please help her; I need an electric with head rest and tilt that can fit through doors (an option to add cheek control would be smart). He talked to her and said that the most basic would be $2,800 without taxes for a manual but would go up to $30,000 for an electric. She told us she had decided on a number in the middle, $4,000. I don’t think she did well in math class. She says, “if it is more than that, you need to get the number to me and I can run it past finance.” Sigh, after two months she gets what she first asked for – us to do all the work. And no real solution.

Anyway, the table for my bed…..after two months she has NOT ordered it because it is US company and she wants to send it to a US address. I give her our US address. Linda pointedly waits so she will call and order it NOW. She turns to Linda and asks her for LINDA’s credit card with “I’ll reimburse you, it is just the finance department is on the second floor.”

I said, “We just had to pay $1000 on a PRE-APPROVED mattress, so, sorry, can’t help.”

She tells the medical supplier if she can order a table and then pay for it later. Geez, sound more suspicious can you? She hangs up and says they won't do that and that she needs a street address not a PO Box. We say we will email it to her. (email it EVERY day until she orders the TABLE!)

Guess what I find out today? That M. the woman at Triumph who has not found me a job or really helped me do anything but after 9 months has authorized me to find ‘someone’ to set up the computer for $100 and “we’ll reimburse you” (still waiting on the 'reimburse' for the air conditioner lady?). So while SHE doesn’t find tech people by using this odd object called a PHONE BOOK, I am free to do her job while she collects the paycheck. Sorry, that wasn’t the good part. Guess where M. worked before she became my “Work Coach” at Triumph (you know she is the person who MADE me write out a complaint against staff because, as she told me, I made her angry)? She worked at…..BEACON Home Community Care.

Makes sense doesn’t it, work one place where you treat the clients as sub-humans while you collect a paycheck and now another organization that does the same.

I came home and slept for over 2 and a half hours. And now I am ready for my next appointment tomorrow morning, and then my GP on Thursday morning.

Thanks for hanging with me. And sorry I haven’t been commenting, but I do comment AS much as I can. I am beat, so any messages of encouragement during these three days would be GREATLY appreciated.

Oh, I also sent out 20 post cards Sunday and Monday. Now that seems like weeks ago instead of yesterday. Glad I did it then before I got all exhausted. Cheers.

Oh Neil, glad that it is over for one of us!

29 comments:

VK said...

Here's hoping what the MRI leads to a solution to at least one symptom!

ismith said...

Hey, maybe you have something interesting enough that the docs will start to pay attention and feel like they have something to do. After all, it seems like a big reason they've ignored you in the past has been a reluctance to admit that they didn't know what to do next, right?

Also: The "ting tang walla walla bing bang" part of "Witch Doctor" came up on iTunes right around the time I read that you had failed two witch detection tests. Eerie ...

Carapace said...

Go Beth, Go! You realize you've got the Action Hero phobia, right? Walk(wheel) through flames unflinching, smile at the whizzing bullets, face down bureaucracy (now that's scary!)without sweating...and then panic at needles? The only way you could be more narratively appropriate is if you were afraid of snakes. There should be theme music playing when you wheel into that vampire lair.

And you're gonna kick needle tail, possibly while chewing bubblegum, because you are EFM.

yanub said...

Beth, that was one horrid day. At least the fairies have replaced your regular doctor with one who passed his boards. That does salvage things a bit.

What the hell with all the pissing? How much urine do they expect a person to be able to pass in a day? And then to tell you that they made a mistake and told you the wrong day for the pee party? Pissy, indeed.

I can only hope that your crapped out nerves gave you some relief while you were being sucked dry by the lab techs. I have only had to pump my arm with a needle in it a couple of times, and then it was very brief. But it is so uncomfortable. I don't know how you stood it. I think you should get an award.

Don't worry about commenting. Especially if there's any chance you might sleep. Someone ought to get some sleep, and it doesn't seem to be me, so I'm looking to get my sleep vicariously.

Meredith said...

LOL, putty! I did the same sculpting thing once...but I was a kid and I didn't even know why my hand was like that :-)

As for the needle thing... that sucks really much. Do you know why are you afraid of them? No offense meant, I'm just trying to understand something that's utterly alien to me, as I LIKE medical testing very much - be it Rorschach, needles, huge boxes that draw pictures of you with some kind of radiation; everything, it just gets me so excited. And I also find it puzzling for a cutter to be afraid of needles. But you're not a recreational cutter like me, so, it may be different... hmmm.

Anyway, good luck with the results! And take a lot of rest (I know it's not your strong point :-P)!

KateJ said...

Sorry I haven't been commenting but I have been reading your blog as always - in fact it's the only one I read on a regular basis. I think about your hospital experiences every time I hear someone moaning about theirs, because yours are just the absolute pits. Especially as most people can expect to feel better and/or get answers after a load of test but your situation doesn't seem to get any better.

I hope you get some sleep. I hope you have a good day. What more can I say?

elizabeth said...

Oh shitty shitty day. But over. You have no idea the hero status you are reaching here - seeing as I'm TERRIFIED of spiders so your comparison to that gave me the slightest of ideas...now I'm itchy all over.

Hope some of the tests actually return some helpful results.

Lene Andersen said...

Ha! I knew you were dehydrated! Can I be your doctor instead of these numbskulls? I'm sure we can photoshop a diploma thingie...

Zombie Beth. I like that and only wish you'd come to my city again. That was only one of the many times I laughed during this post. You're a funny woman.

Glad the docs are finally taking you seriously.

cheryl g said...

Hi Silly Putty woman. With your ability to mold your hands and to change colors you would make an interesting super hero. Oooh, or you could be a super villain with your army of squirrel minions...

You really do need to double your fluid intake Sis. Since I suspect you no longer get the sensation of being thirsty we will have to come up with a "schedule". Just think, you will be able to fill the pee jug much faster.

Gaina said...

This is all starting to sound much more more constructive! I still don't understand why your GP couldn't just tell you what was on the MRI? I hope he's now got a fire under his ass because it's something they can treat.

I had a dream about your bento box last night. My bed was gone and and in it's place was a big paddling pool in the same blue as the material on the bag.

Wendryn said...

Your description of needle phobia should be printed up and given to every doctor everywhere in hopes that they might actually get it. Very well written!

Hopefully the MRI getting a response is a good thing, at least in that you might get more actual attention from a doctor out of it.

If you have become zombie Beth, does that mean that if you eat brains it might improve your condition? :P

Nancy said...

Good luck with the rest of the testing--hopefully, it'll all go really smoothly. And hurrah for the GP being helpful! I'll be sending lots of good thoughts your way over the next few days.

abi said...

Ugh - sounds like you didn't have a very good day (note my razor-sharp powers of observation). Mind you, I'm impressed with how well you handled those needles. Voluntary submission! Go you! (not meant in a patronising way, by the way)

Hopefully the doctor has sprung into action because they have found something they can cure, or at least treat. It sounds like they should have found it a long time ago, judging by his urgency.

I actually dreamed you a diagnosis the other night; your problem was celiac disease (autoimmune response to gluten in food). Pretty extreme reaction for that on your part. As my dreams are pretty much 100% inaccurate, though (it's scary - I can occasionally make predictions based on what didn't happen), I think we can rule it out!

Good luck with the rest of your Days of Hell. Keeping my fingers crossed for all sorts of good/not as bad as you expected things.

FridaWrites said...

Tongue in cheek: so I'm guessing desensitization therapy wouldn't work for the needle phobia? That's okay, it wouldn't work for my spider phobia either, nosiree.

Yes, rheumatologists, they're vampires all right, but they're good diagnosticians. No wonder you're dehydrated and won't bleed.

Hope the MRI results aren't too serious. Sounds like the GP was kidnapped by aliens? I hope today's easier.

Dawn Allenbach said...

*waves pom-poms*

Go Beth! Go Linda! You can do it! YOU CAN DO IT!

I know, I suck as a preppy cheerleader. I just can't seem to master that leg kick. :-P

I agree with Carapace -- needles are your superhero weakness.

anabel said...

You described that hell perfectly. I had to keep reminding myself to breath. That is what I call engaging the reader!

Veralidaine said...

Just when I thought nothing could surprise me about your life, the GP pulls his head out of his derriere and starts taking ACTION?!

What?!

Oh, and you are not truly human silly putty until you can lift the newspaper comics. That was always my favorite thing about silly putty, but then my putty would get all gray and funny-looking from too much ink.

em said...

Oh crap that sounds horrible. The thought of you actually getting medical help is so exciting though. I'm crossing my fingers that the trend to responsible GPs continues.

In the meantime, you have my admiration for walking through this. I know that feeling of going on even though you think you can't. (Hopefully you aren't there.) You are doing great. The three days WILL pass.

Anna said...

AHHHHHHHHH sorry just fainted reading yout latest post.
GOD! and I think it's bad doing "needletests" and I've got very good veins. (Says the nurses, and also the addicts I've met at work:))

Hm when my hormonimbalance was diagnosed I was at one point told to drink a lot of water because my blood was "thick". Since I tend to overdo things I drank a lot of water, a lot..... I did the same "collect your urine" 24/7....drinking a lot. The labnurse looked really puzzled when I handed over two cans of u- something like 4 liters, (almost a gallon:))

good luck with doctors
Anna

JaneB said...

Beth, you're doing great, hope it's helping YOU to tell us all about it. Only two more days to go...

Just imagining a tank full of slugs (my particular automatic recoil beastie) was gross, so thanks for sharing that image :-)

Hope you've finally managed to become interesting enough for the medical profession to actually start being helpful in UNDER a year or two!

Neil said...

Let us hope that the MRI found something useful; but doctors willing to help? Where was the doctor when on vacation, and how do I get some of whatever he was using there? More importantly, did he bring some home for YOU, so you can deal with the blood tests better?

While I don't like needles, I can deal with them; but your description is just too good: my skin is crawling in sympathy.

If you're a zombie, should I call Henry Fitzroy? Nah, you're a GOOD zombie. Like Jesus, only female, and modern.

Zen hugs to you and Linda, and positive thoughts for courage,
Neil

Elizabeth McClung said...

Hey VK: Yes, here is hoping that the MRI leads to something, a solution, a remission, I will trade up to anything!

ismith: I feel a bit insulted that black fingers, blue arms, seizues, erratic heartbeats and dying organs WASN'T interesting enough. Actually scares me to think what they see - it is the little animal from Aliens isn't it, and they are going to erupt out of me - that explains the nausea, since I am pregnant, of a sort.

Haha, glad my writing is in tune with your iTunes!

Carapace: Yeah, there isn't really so much difference between me and Indiana Jones now is there (he hated snakes!), except that last time I used a bull whip I managed to make a cut in my OWN arm.

Oh, needles are my kyroptonite, to be true.

Yanub: yes, which is why I am trying to get this changling to sign everything in sight.

Yeah, after fiddling with dixie cups being told to do start it again today instead - I am getting plenty tired of dixie cups down there.

I am so sorry you have insomnia, I get it once a year and hate it - is it a drug reaction or just like me, you get it when you get it? got to sleep at 2:00 am, the phone started ringing at 8:00 am. figures

Meredith: neither did I, but when you are friends with EMT's they are ALWAYS telling you this is bad or that is bad or NOT feeling things in your feet is bad or blue lips are bad - sheesh, on and on, passing out is bad, not breathing in bad - some days, I know they mean well but they don't see the positive, like...I still have all my digits!

If someone is doing a Rorshach with needles on you, please them them they are doing it wrong and try with ink blots instead. hee hee.

Gosh you make that sounds so trendy, "recreational cutter" - nope I am just a plain old "occupational cutter and anorexic" - I work at it!

Rest, Vhat is dis Rest?

Kate J: thanks, I think about you and the boat, I would like to go out on the boat about now. Oh well, I wouldn't want to be stuck in an NHS hospital but I could do with a decent GP and clinic about now. IF someone asked me two years ago what I would me...that wouldn't have been in my top ten.

Take care!

Elizabeth: Yeah sorry, I thought the spider description might be a bit much for some but that is what a needle is to me (I tend to scream, "I don't want to see it!").

Since these lab has NEVER done (or heard of) many of these tests, I am guessing we are no longer looking 'for the average bear!'

Lene: yes, you can be my doctor, I consider that a step up.

Good, I figured open with silly putty and people think this will be fun and funny (and if can be, if you squint the right way!).

Cheryl: I have SO many different powers - the power to pass out from heat stroke at room temperature, the power to not sleep because the noise of someone breathing is keeping my hypersensative hearing awake, etc.

Maybe I can like distract bad guys by doing puppet shows by reshaping my hands?

I was going to say, YOU say double fluid intake, I say "jug and dixie cups!"

Gaina: Well, I find out tomorrow, so that is probably not going to be a cheerful day!

Supercool - you dream to sleep in Bento boxes! Sweet!

Wendryn: Oh good, I was just so surprised when my overnight carer, a RN in hospital shifts turns out to be needle phobic as well. I knew I wasn't the only one.

Hmmm, I am so desperate for treatment that I will try for IVIG first, if I can't get that, THEN, I go for brains...mmmmm brains!

Nancy: thanks, I am just glad if my GP cares enough to demand specialist see me early and to recommend me to specialist - but all that is tiring to - here we go for round five I think. Thanks for the good thoughts.

Abi: well ALMOST voluntary, since we had made the deal and he had gotten the appointment that meant I HAD to get the tests - and I was seeing him Thursday, so I didn't wait until the LAST day (just the one before!).

Actually, I didn't think about that but yes, if they think they can diagnosis AND treat it, then they would be motivated, right. That sounds even better!

Well, I did try to rule out Celiac disease in both diet and tests early on, but you know, I have been thinking, about how Celiac shows up in so many different forms and sort of been hoping for that too so we are on the same wavelength

Fridawrites: the problem with desentization is that when the thing IS painful, it tends not to work (like dentists). But here you can get put out with anethetic, becuase for DENTISTS they know about needle phobia, wish they would tell the hospitals.

I just hope I get an appointment before December - as what she will get then....will it be worth treating?

Dawn: I was thinking about you when I wrote about the spiders becuase I figured that would just facinate you - thanks for the pep rally, I am off to bed for now!

Anabel: well I hope the silly putty at least got a smile, and that you didn't get bad dreams! Thanks.

Veralidaine: you and me both, usually calls where you are denied sleep between blood letting are BAD calls not your doctor going, "Wow, what can I do for you!" Still trying to figure if Linda was the one doped and not me.

See Actually, I was going to try that because I DID lift an impression off the print side of the woodblock. Haha - portable silly putty

Em: I am going to have a BBQ on the weekend if I can survive this, it is just I don't know how, becuase with stuff every day, I will literally be a wreck. But onward! Thanks for the encouragement. And believe me, I will post all good news or possible good news as soon as I get it.

Anna: Made me laugh, I did sometimes talk to addicts about where they shoot up (one guy was between the toes) but they NEVER complimented my viens, sigh, I don't have the attrative viens you do!

Thick blood? Oh, I thought about collecting all that pee in dixie cups, ohhhhh, made me laugh again.

Jane B: yeah, I am wiped today, electrical so tired, and oxygen pick up.

I actually had pink fingernails this morning and freaked, they looked so WIERD. I was like, "Oh that's better" when they turned blue!

Yeah, ever since a camp out in my back yard at 5 or 6 and slugs all in my shoes when I put them on - SHUDDER - not really liked slugs since.

Neil: My thoughts exactly - where is he going down in mexico and why is he now so happy?

Yes, now I am like my leader, Lesbian Jesus, I too am a Zombie; join us, the Zombie Christians!

Well you get the courage points after that description of the colonoscopy. I would be like, "What all that and you DIDN'T find cancer! NEXT time!!!"

SharonMV said...

Oh, Beth, so sorry you had to go through all that time facing your phobia. Very brave of you - screaming perfectly understood. All this quick action from the GP makes me very anxious for you. I hope whatever they've found will lead to some treatment for you. I'm glad you're going to get more help with the pain. I don't know, why I'm feeling so scared & upset - I mean we all knew you were very sick. It's just hard for me to think of you going through all that suffering & pain & dealing with your phobia all on the same day. I know you can take it & much more, but wish you didn't have to. Those lab people & docs better make good use of all those vials!

I was sick last night & so didn't check in here, now glad I was ill & fell asleep, or I'd have worried all night.

You just keep on being my brave, beautiful Beth. My heart will be with you tonight & tomorrow.

Sending the strength of a mighty soul (me) to you,

Sharon

Denise said...

I too hope they found something significant and treatable on the MRI. And regardless, I'm pleased you'll now get the O2 concentrator and rheumatology referral you've been needing for months. I'm definitely liking the alien robot which has replaced your GP much better than the original.

Best of luck in the next two days, and with staying awake for the "Hooray I made it" BBQ in the weekend.

Maggie said...

Sending strong happy thoughts. I'll be waiting for an update.
I have an old Capt. America action figure that rides around on my dashboard. Can I get a kick ass EFM doll to go with him?

Meredith said...

LOL, I was just saying it doesn't matter for me if a thing contains needles or not, I'm all for it if I can see the results! :-P
And "recreational cutter" is not meant to sound trendy, it's a descriptive term I made up after being lumped together with all kinds of people who was apparently NOT my people - so I guess I'm my own category :-)

And yes, sometimes medical people take things too seriously, labeling every unusual thing "bad" - while ignoring the fun side of it. My friend had been told her synesthesia is bad as it prevents a bunch of "normal" functions, but she got a lot of workaround methods for that - and enjoying the sound of light! I was nearly in tears when she "translated" my green laser pointer to a piano piece and played it. And experts said it's bad, unhealthy, interfering with life... oh well!

Anyway, it's over for now, eh? If you got yourself together after the horrors, blog the results - 'm curious! :-)

Good job not lifting trucks though :-)

Neil said...

I think my beloved had some of your doctor's medication yesterday. WHen I told her about the twenty vials of blood, she immediately said, "That's vile!"

Then she asked what a sheumatologist is; before I could answer our Middle Child said, "That's a specialist who comes into a room and analyzes the Feng Shui."

On the topic of puns, my Oldest son called home one day to explain that the birthday party he was at contained both genders, and everyone who was either to drunk to drive or just felt like staying overnight, slept in a "puppy pile" in the living room. Males and females all using each other as pillows; this makes cuddling possible, and prevents what he called "Heineken romances." And HE's the one who hates puns! He said he's actually starting to miss them now that he's moved away from home.

And now I must haul my lazy butt off to work. All the best for the tests, dear. Hugs for courage and love and fewer needles today!
Neil

Dawn Allenbach said...

This is the thing -- spiders DO fascinate, but they also terrify me. I think it's my shadow totem.

rachelcreative said...

Good grief!

Hang in there. You both did a brilliant job of surviving today.

How on earth you managed to blog I do not know. Oh wait - it's you. I think you have grit in your veins and not blood ;o)