Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Beth and RCMP battle and 'Pick yourself in this picture!'

I figured that everyone who reads here has been or is in high school (if you are in junior high and are here just for the sex toy reviews…shame on you, use a shower head like the rest of us did! Um if you are guy, just ignore that last statement because I don’t even want to imagine what could be done). I also figured unless we want to feel all glum, we could do with something light, almost fluffy. Since it is sunny (heat intolerant remember), I have no tales of daring do. Nor do I want to talk about Pride except that the Police did NOT have a stall there for the first time (full up on LGBT officers I guess?), and I was told by the representative of the civilian component of the RCMP that people had to disclose medical conditions like “Fibro or Chronic Fatigue.”

I said, “That’s so you can make accommodation for them?”

The woman looked at me like I was nuts, “No, that’s so we can screen them and determined if they can do the eight hour shift every single shift because if they can’t then we won’t hire them.”

“So you want to know their medical information to determine NOT to hire them?”

“Hey, lives of officers are on the line” (She is talking about dispatch)

I said, “How about instead, you just have FOUR hour shifts for them?”

“That wouldn’t be FAIR to the rest of us!” she said.

I actually repeated it, “You don’t hire people with chronic fatigue or fibro because giving them four hour shifts wouldn’t be FAIR?”

“Not to all of us doing eight hour shifts!” She said.

I was a LITTLE pissed by this part and said, “Well, you DO have to make accommodation, or don’t you let Jews have Passover off.”

“We DON’T!” she said, “And I’ve had to work Christmas so it is the same for everyone.”

I was just sort of blown away because growing up I had lost a LOT of jobs because I took from Friday sunset to Saturday sunset, Passover and the other Jewish Holy Days off. But this was 2000-something now right, and I am talking to a NATIONAL ORGANIZATION right? One who complies with human rights: the Royal Canadian Mounted Police?

“So you DON’T make accommodation on the basis of disability OR religion??” I asked with disbelief.

“I’m not going to argue with you,” she said, “You KNOW, I GAVE UP my SUNDAY to come down HERE.” (the unspoken “to be with YOU PEOPLE”) was there which told me that if this was the OFFICIAL REPRESENTATIVE of the RCMP at pride, I guess disability rights, religious rights, and now the hardship of her being with us gays was brought to the fore.

I have tried to reach the official office of the Vancouver Recruiting Department of the RCMP to verify her statements without effect. I did find out on-line that as the RCMP IS a federal employer, they are REQUIRED to actively recruit four quota areas and one is disability. The RCMP actually made a 2006 equity report on how they are going to do that (I want a copy of that report) because the first thing the official RCMP recruiting officer said to me when I asked to join and take the test was, “You aren’t going to qualify.” When I said, “Just GIVE ME THE TEST and let the test decide.” He said, nodding to the wheelchair, “There is no point, you aren’t going to qualify and I’m not here to argue” and he walked away to the other corner of the tent and kept his back to me. (Oddly, the least employed section under the equity quotas for the RCMP Nationally is disability at.........2)

That was actually probably the BEST aspect or time I was most respected at pride. Linda asked me on the way home, “Do you even WANT to be in the RCMP?”

I said, “Gathering massive amounts of data, following paper trails, bringing them together into a single information structure, research, following patterns, that is what I did my Ph.D. in? Yes, I want to be a crime stats researcher for the RCMP. And I don’t know why I have to climb a wall to do it but if that is what I have to do, they should at least give me the test!”

But enough of that and instead I did some post cards today and this post card below just begged the question, Which of these girls were you in High School? (Don’t worry guys, there is one for you later. But hey you can talk about who you DATED or LUSTED after from afar if you wish?).

So we have brown hair on left (serious or aloof, the one saying “Stop it! I’m trying to listen?” or the one who dressed perfect to fit in and went through the day mostly alone? Reading books? Writing Poetry?). And then the red head who either is the perfect student or the devil incarnate (tell me she doesn’t look like she is plotting or planning something?). Maybe she is just nice, or MAYBE she can LOOK like she is nice for the teachers and then be the biggest backstabber, gossip in the school? Dunno. Then we have black hair who seems to be unconfined, uncontrollable. If she is laughing, everyone would know and I think she is easily bored too! Also notice how she has done something to the school tie and replaced it with something else. And the sweater is doing something! I am surprised one of her knee highs isn’t falling down (and she is wearing them with sneakers!).

So you look at these three and which do you identify with? And why? I’ll go first. I would say for fashion or rather the apparent inability to coordinate, I would be black haired, also because while she MAY have ironed her jacket like the other two, I think she stuffed it in her locker at some point (not hung up, stuffed in!), that’s me. Also, she takes up the most body space and I was always growing (6'3" takes some time!) so I was like watching a drunk stork, I had NO idea where my elbows were much less my knees. About the most KIND thing said about me by a parent watching track day was that I looked like a Gazelle running (bound, bound, bound!), while the most COMMON thing said was, “There is NO WAY she is going to finish this race!” (I honestly don’t know what about me had this “Will fall or face plant” written all over me, I did finish 3rd usually).

As for facial expression, I think I WANTED to be the red head and just fit in, and teachers were always accusing me of things, one used to yell, “Stop thinking!” at me. But I was the one on the right again, whatever crossed my mind came out on my face. If I thought the teacher was a total bore, my face told everyone. In 8th and 9th grade I did some group magazine work (light modeling) and people were talking about I was going to be great in acting. Then they realized that EVERYTHING I thought came on my face, and I just can’t hide my expressions. So if the director is like, “This time make it happy, and you are just loving this!” and I think, “What a total dork!” that is what shows up (they tried to help me with “controlling my expressions” but that just looked fake.) I showed my night care worker last night, and went from the smiling me to thinking ‘bout the stupid director, and she burst out laughing and said that yes, she could see that wouldn’t work for me.

So I WANTED to be cool and aloof but often I was the unwanted center of attention. Seriously, the amount of times I have just been SITTING there and had teachers yell, “And do YOU have something you want to add!” at me. Wow, how did they know I thought they were teaching this all wrong?! So, wanted to be red hair but am the black hair, the brown haired girl on the left was my nemesis because she WAS the one who was going, “Excuse Mr. Johnstone, I really WANTED to hear what you were saying before we got OFF TRACK” (death glare at me!). Or the one who hated me because I pointed out that technically both A and B COULD be correct on the multiple choice test so he had to announce that question didn’t count (and since she was ALWAYS a top student, that these other dull headed should get free what SHE paid for…..ohhhh!).

So that is me. What about you?

Now for guys I really scoured the male anime pictures but at my school we actually tried to STOP guys going around in Mecha suits and with giant guns or swords so I had to go to my stack of…um…boy/boy love postcards. So guys, please just try to look past the somewhat femme faces. First off, where you THIS GUY? Believe me, every school, geez, almost every grade had at least one. They might be suck ups, they might be super polite and go to church a lot, they might plan to have a career in politics or a minister (who PLANS to have a career in politics in the 10th grade?). But like the bow-tie phase is a tip off, as is the pressed clothes and the ‘oh so polite’ manner. While this person might have carried with them and read and reread a copy of The Fountainhead or another Ayn Rand book, they would never STOOP to swearing, at least not in front of the ‘lesser folk’ (or they read Nietzsche a lot, or they were just the first to volunteer to hand out papers for the teacher).

Okay another pictures and YES, they are all guys. Like I said, try to ignore the femme look. I will focus on the first three. Mr. Blond seems to be the natural athlete, not great in grades, doesn’t talk a lot, or is kind of reserved, and seems in THIS picture to be eyeing up the little guy to see how well his head will fit into a toilet in the guy’s change room during gym class. Of course if you WERE a jock, please give us your own interpretation. Linda said the little guy with brown hair might grow up to be a lawyer. I thought this is a guy who probably talks about stuff other guys don’t talk about, like hopes or emotions or he writes poetry or does other things that seem like he is just walking vulnerability and how long until someone stomps on him or his dreams. Black haired guy is like a prep. Maybe does singing club or journalism, seems to be older than his age in high school, almost “adult” because they listen and don’t talk much. He sort of reminds me not of anyone in my class but like some guys in the year above who seemed… “mature” (remember this is like a 16 year old thinking a 17 old is mature!). But I dunno, maybe they hung out with their friends and made fun of others. Often two or three, they seemed to walk around a lot during lunch (male peacocks?)

The guy in the back actually reminds me of several guys in our class, because they WERE sort of background, the struggled with grades, I tutored one or two, they sat there and didn’t say anything brilliant, were average in sports so not made fun of but not admired either. I don’t even know thinking back where they ate lunch.

I DID have the yellowed haired guy in my class and HE WAS notorious for sending guys out of the locker room naked or doing other disgusting things that guys do in locker rooms (God knows they never….CHANGE! I dunno!). He was a natural athlete and thought people who were not natural athletes were “asking for it” and weaklings. Of course, no matter HOW bad a guy is at sports, particularly track (even Mr. Sensitive there), they would KILL themselves to make sure they finished in front of a GIRL, if we were sharing track.

So for the guys, which are you? Or for the girls which did you date? (Ewwww, but okay, tell all!)

I have to say I never quite understood why the vice principal ALWAYS had me tutoring people, ALWAYS! I mean, I did my homework not overnight but while they said, “Pass up your homework” (look at the page, fill in the answers, get an A-, yeah, that was me, yeah, I know you hate me!). I think the Vice P. was convinced that deep down, if I helped others, I would develop study habits myself. Or maybe it was because I actually showed up and tutored people, and they kept using me, I don’t know. So if you were tutored, it was probably by me in Math, English or Social Studies – Biology I hated and was too busy memorizing with flash cards to help anyone but me. I also edited the school paper (gee, what a shocker, eh!). So, no, don’t want to go back there but that was me. So dish, which were you in these pics and why?


cheryl g said...

I was definitely the black haired girl. As for the guys... no interest in dating them but had a few friends in the sensitive poet and average guy categories.

Elizabeth McClung said...

Cheater! Where's your explaination! Were you class clown making jokes or just one of those who draws attention to themselves whether they want it or not?

Victor Kellar said...

I was none of those guys, really. Not the jock, not the suck up, certainly not the prep .. I had some of the little guy in me; I was little and I wrote poetry and sci fi with tanya huff. I was an outsider because we moved so much and I was poor and I had good diction and for a few years I was an easy physical target. But I was also the school pot connection, I slept in cemetaries, I carried a skeleton knife and I made money stealing and rebuilding bikes (bicyles) I was never the school tough guy, I was the tough guy's friend, I wrote his english assignments for him and he pasted the jocks for me. Later, as I got older, I got the tough guy sent to training school (reform school) and wrote papers for the jocks ..

As for the girls, when I was younger I would have been attracted to the girl on the left; the boots would do it for me and she looks like she'd give me a hard time which suits my contrary nature.

But the black haired girl is the one for me; going her own style, not really flashy but just adapting the uniform to suit her and her expression looks open and mischiveous at the same time. Maybe the girl that was only noticed because she was just slightly odd but was filled with a quick wit and a sense of adventure .. Collette's not awake to tell me if she relates to that but I bet she did

Elizabeth McClung said...

Horaay! Thanks Victor, we're a little underinsightful on the straight high school guy thing around here (like this household and friends). So any insight is good. So you were like sort of geek, sort of sensative AND a bad boy? Geez, shouldn't you have been knocking away straight girls with a stick?

Um....did the tough guy WANT to go to reform school? Thanks. High school is sometimes, often hell but it does have some really vivid memories (or does for me cause of my stroke/seizures?)

Lisa Harney said...

I was the one on the left, but I wanted to be the redhead. I had a reputation for being intelligent and intellectual in high school, which meant that people either mocked me or asked for help with their homework, depending on how much they needed that help.

Also, for various reasons, I sucked at picking out nice clothes.

Lisa Harney said...

Oh, yeah, to answer your postcard: I was playing WoW back in April and May - I found out a friend of mine I hadn't talked to in at least five years was running a guild and had to go there and hang out with her. :)

I play a demon-summoning gnome with pink hair.

Meredith said...

Hmmmm. I MAY BE the poet guy, but that's just one mood of me. I can't really squeeze my whole being into one of these pictures. (Either that, of none of the people depicted are classic nerds ^_^) Well, I just finished high school so it's a fresh wound still (ow, bad pun :-D), but I was definitely the one who doesn't talk to anyone except teachers and the reserved math genius sitting next to her. But I also was the one who occasionally presented very advanced lectures loaded with university material, to balance out lousy grades which she acquired in ADHD periods or classes she slept all through. That would qualify as "mature"... but hiding in the loo not to hurt anyone in a violent fit (meltdown) seems the exact opposite of maturity. Complicated, eh?

Mounties: Pffft. While she has a point that police(wo)men have to be the toughest of all for their job (like in 3rd Watch, lol, Faith was my first crush ever), but this "be in perfect health, have no religion, or fuck you" attitude is just too much. And has absolutely nothing to do with fairness. It's just simpler to lead a police unit that way. Whatever.

abi said...

The girl with the black hair is the one with whom I identify most (I can see a theme developing). She's rather untidy (although my hair was never that neat), and she has her jumper tied round her waist. I would never have worn such a short skirt, though - that sort of rebellion never interested me (although it appears that the short skirt here may be actual uniform, in which case I would have worn it).

I was a disorganised student, and was not good at handing in actual work. I also hung around with the intelligent misfits (as opposed to the intelligent people who fitted in). I think we hung around with each other because nobody else wanted us, but we struck up firm friendships and still communicate today (they keep moving abroad, which makes for cheap foreign holidays in interesting cities with built-in tour guides. I love visiting them!). In sixth-form especially (I think) we were thought of as a bit weird; people tended not to come too close, except for the group of slightly-less-misfit intelligent people - we had to share an area of common room. We were the hippies in the hippies and geeks classification (yes, there was a classification system). I think that may have been my fault - I used to wear my mother's old clothes, which were from the 60s and 70s.

School didn't really interest me that much, and I was glad to leave. There was far too much turning up and doing work that was required of me.

I am also known for not being good at hiding what I am thinking (or trying to, for that matter). I didn't tend to draw attention to myself, though - I was quite uncomfortable with that at the time. I was probably known for being moody. Such a happy teenager!

The guy I dated was the small one, when I was 17. There wasn't a massive selection in my social circle, but this one was OK - chatty and friendly, with a car. He was a year older, and the relationship lasted about 3 years.

So there you go. I hope that was relevant enough. It was an easier comment to write than usual.

missnomered said...

I'm definitely stripey-socks girl. Well, for one thing, in middle school, I had this kind of unwritten rule about only wearing striped socks. Yes, I was an odd one. Also, I'm fairly disorganized, but have a good sense of humor. As for the guys, I'm not all that into guys (Kinsey 5 or so), but I have to say, the sensitive poets of any gender are hot. My current boyfriend's one of those (Has livejournal, is saving up to go to theatre school, loves Stephen King, etc). Except more cheery than your average "sensitive poet" type.

That annoys me about the police screening thing. Grr. After I graduate next summer, I want to go on this volunteer abroad trip (probably to Mexico, this org that I'd be going with also offers trips to Africa and such, but I want to stick closer to home and go to either Mexico or South America), but they do a full screening to check if you're in good "physical and mental health". But I have an anxiety disorder, as well as (likely, haven't been formally diagnosed) some funky learning disability-type things (NLD and sensory integration disorder. Yes, they somehow missed these things until the end of grade 11). So I feel like maybe they won't let me go because of that. Blarg.

(Holy long comment, Batman!)

Lene Andersen said...

I was what I call "a leftover" - didn't fit in with any particular group, spent most of my time alone, reading and writing angst-ridden poetry or with a few other leftovers. People thought I was an aloof snob, but really, I was so shy I almost couldn't speak. Highschool was rough. Thanks so much for the flashback. ;)

As for guys... Guys didn't notice me in highschool. The wheelchair, don't you know. But I longed for the intellectual, conflicted anarchist. Or the wee guy who thought deeply and painfully about things.

Tom P. said...

None of the above. My friends and I were more of the type that rejected everything but still got A's and B's because we were smart. We dressed out of style (we dressed like grunge while Kurt Cobain was still in elementary school). We smoked pot. We read Camus for fun. We called ourselves communists because it pissed off everyone. Che Guevara was our hero. Post-hippies? Pre-punk rockers?

Girls? We were thought of as losers so most girls avoided us. But we didn't care. We were all straight but the whole dating thing just seemed so bourgeois to us.

Neil said...

Like Victor, I don't feel I fit any of your descriptions. I went through school as a loner, with fewer than a dozen friends, and only one guy whose full name I can remember. I spent my time studying and trying to avoid the bullies. I mostly try to avoid thinking of my first two decades on this earth.

Because I found that nobody wanted my opinion in school, it became very hard to put one on paper in university. That may be part of why I dropped out.

Now I've "grown up" and I'm trying to learn to become more social trying learn how to make and keep friends. And this blog of yours is one place I've found that is comfortable for me. Thank you for that, dear Beth.

Rereading that, I realize that my life wasn't as dark as that sounds. And now I have work and family, which forces me to socialize. I still have my inner voices at night though, damn them.

Zen hugs, and now I'll tell MYSELF to have a better day. :)


FridaWrites said...

Argh, now I have to give up my RCMP fantasies. I haven't tried job hunting lately, but the difference from reading other bloggers is that the Americans wouldn't tell you why they're not hiring you.

I most resembled the girl on the left in high school, probably more skinny and gangly, very serious, and with my nose in books (including biology). Most boys didn't impress me and the smart ones were already dating others or way too strange or didn't have what I considered appropriate intellectual/cultural interests (football, no; classical music, yes). I was always a bit of the rebel on the right, which would surprise people when that aspect would pop out.

I have a postcard with a sweet fawn on it from you--and flowers from SharonMV--a double gift! I've seen a couple hundred deer, but never a fawn up close!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Vic informs me that I am a lurker, so here is my first comment-I was also a combo…I was closer to the black haired girl. I always hated being told what to wear and what to do, I have this thing with authority (we just don’t get along). I appeared to be the quiet good girl but in the background involved in raising “awareness”. Like the fact we thought police raids on our lockers we unjust…so my boyfriend and I heard a rumor about when the next raid would be and placed a pot plant in the principals office-quiet but get my point across. I worked hard in school but hated every minute of it. I was voted most likely to never step in a school again …too funny because now I am a teacher.

As for the boys I found attractive it had to be the bad boys the more trouble they were in the more attractive they were to me. My face gets me in a lot of trouble as well, when it comes to expressions we are a lot a like I am always being told that you can tell what I am thinking and it is often a little too honest.

Veralidaine said...

I think I was brown hair, if I had to choose. The cowboy boots are totally me-- I was a cowgirl type. And I was that arch nemesis going, "Excuse me, SOME of us are trying to LEARN."

But I think-- especially because of the boots-- brown hair is studious and a little snobby, but she also has a side that likes mischief. She's probably the one putting smoke bombs in the bathroom, knowning nobody would ever suspect the teacher's pet, and black hair will probably be the one to get in trouble for it.

That would also be like me.

Perpetual Beginner said...

I was definitely the brown-haired girl in HS. I got good grades, kept my head down, and just did my best to stay utterly unnoticed. It never actually worked, since I was in the top few students at an extremely competitive school. Instead I was roundly resented because I didn't sweat for my grades the way I was supposed to.

So in that way we overlapped a bit. I also tended to knock off my homework rapidly and still get A's. My classmates never forgave me for running into the SAT's almost late with an armload of piano books, knocking out the test in the minimum allowed time (I was far more freaked out about a piano recital that afternoon), and then outscoring most of them.

My dress was bland almost to non-existence. Jeans and a button-down shirt nine days out of ten, jeans and a sweater on the tenth. I really, really wanted to be invisible.

Neil said...

Totally not what you were talking about at the moment, but I stopped this morning on the way to work, and watched a City bus pick up a wheelchair-using passenger. The driver stopped too close to the curb, and had to retract the ramp and move the bus door further from the sidewalk, but it appears that some people here DO wheel onto public transit.

Some dude with a huge pickup and looong trailer had pulled up on the wrong side of the narrow road as the passenger first tried to navigate the ramp. Once the bus was repositioned properly, the two vehicles were totally blocking traffic, and a few cars were forced to wait until the bus was under way again. No sympathy for private vehicles from me, though. I was smirking as I cycled away. I had already passed when I stopped to watch. Not staring at the spectacle of the passenger; I was watching to see how the driver handled the stop. Apparently, our transit drivers need a little practice with the accessible ramps.

As for the RCMP, you'd need to be in good shape to be on the front lines, though you'd make a fabulous undercover cop, I bet. Who'd ever suspect you? A 9-1-1 operator with seizures could be awkward, but if you were doing research, I can see your point.

The RCMP, like most emergency services and retail stores (and Purolator Courier!), do not respect religion; the RCMP do, however, allow Sikh members to wear turbans. This might put them ahead of some employers. MIGHT... There's certainly a long way to go, though.

Zen hugs again,

Gaina said...

Yep, the red-head is not to be trusted, simply because she looks so innocent. It's a ploy.

I think the one with the brown hair in bunches to her right is 'me', she looks like she might have a bit of magic up her sleeve :).

With regard to the RCMP, if you come across any employer that has disability quotas to fill, Wheel like HELL - in the opposite direction!. I ended up in a government office that employed me just to look good and been seen to fill their quota so they could lecture to other employers. To say it was a nightmare is putting it mildly, more like mental torture. That's why I am and always will be firmly against 'positive descrimination' - the 'positive' quickly gets dropped and pretty soon everyone makes it clear to you that you're being tolerated because the law says they have to.

I know it wouldn't move you, but as much as I hate admin, I would quite enjoy gazing at those dashing mounties in their tight pants all day...LOL

On a lighter note, I am getting my HD camcorder soon, so I will be off in search of squirrels to show you :).

Elizabeth McClung said...

I smiled and chuckled a lot reading this comments, and I hope other people do to (becuase I'm still not much with the ha-ha right now so light WAS good!); it is yes, a bit painful when you are still near/just out of high school (but FREE, free at last!).

It seems so fragmented that I think even if everyone on this blog was in the same school, we will still have so many different views of it. That's high school, trying to concentrate while your body is erupting all over (with the face...ug!), and almost going crazy with the hormones some days.

Lisa: Yes, I wanted to have that poised look of the redhead (I bet they invited her to like Sororities in College just becuase of how she walked - she takes up the least body space of the three). It is odd how "intellegent is always a double edged sword; often derided...until needed). Glad you got the postcard!

Meredith: I like your honesty. Luckily over time I sort of threw out all my inconsistant days and create this sort of "I was like this" which isn't true becuase some days I threw down my bookbag and screamed things and one time a guy older than me said something negative and I punched him in the solar plexus and stomped off as his friends made fun of him. So yeah, I had my "does not fit any consistancy" but I tend to TRY and forget that.

And it is true, where ARE the nerds, where are the spock ears or the (hmmm, now that computers are passe' what DO nerds go nerdy about?). You got to give lectures? That was cool. I think you were one of the types of 'danger girl' as in "Should we wake her up?" and "No, remember what happened last time"

I really like your synopsis of the situation, I think it is spot on; that it is easier and so some commander is NOT thinking about accomodation because if people are trained to be interchangable pegs then that is easy.

My problem even WITH the RCMP is that the recruiting officers don't look BEYOND the street; yes, a street female officer needs to be able to hold her own. But who makes the reports on "Smart Policing", Who does the interview to give to the top brass about "Post Traumatic Stress in the workplace?", Who works for seven months on internet child porn, or tracks illegal DVD sales though paper trails and internet sites? Who reviews current policy to make sure it complies with government standards? There are a lot of people who do jobs which have nothing to do with the street and are just as needed to make the big machine run (for example in Yellowknife, they are advertising for someone like me; to follow and map patterns and trends in crime to help allocate resources and detect patterns and isolate organized groups and targets (masters degree required). That job is open NOW, advertised NOW, why is a recruiting officer not looking to recruit someone for that?

Abi: I see a theme too: No one wants to admit being the high school princess and being the redhead!

Oh no, the student who does the work and leaves it at home or forgets it and gets the "You have the ability and the potential...." speech? I remember a few of those, whose response to my, "You remembered to bring the Geometry homework right?" was always, "You mean that's today?" And I wanted to shake them (I had a touch of mother hen mixed with dominatrix).

I think that is really cool that you still have friends today from high school.....and they are intellectuals!

Oh god, we were so poor to have hand me downs, but I think I would have gone into meltdown if I had to wear my MOTHER's hand me downs - obviously you had a better relationship? Or not becuase you robbeed her closet all the time? (There is a second-hand clothes store near where I live called "My Sister's Closet" which I thought was a funny and good name)

Yeah, the whole, "don't draw attention to yourself seems very common with many people" - what happened to the people who were the football stars, or the cheerleaders or the 'in-crowd'? I guess they don't blog?

Thanks for commenting, I think it easy to write a synopsis than have to relive all the invidual horrid days. Did you really date him just for the car, or was that an added bonus!

Missnommered: I think it is interesting how many of the black haired girls we have - maybe they are extroverts and keep that up in blogging? I think my rule was "Try to make sure to get clothes BEFORE my legs make them look too small on me" - which is like the striped sock rule, kinda. I too think poets are hot, or interesting regardless of gender becuase they think and like your boyfriend has a plan, is saving for theatre, want to make ideas into influence, into reality, how can that not be attractive? (or is that too geek of me?)

Yeah, to do some disability programs for "young people" which were 17-35 (Hey, I don't make the classifications) here I had to fill out this form which wanted me to list "every irregular period", "all incidents of PMS" and "all therapy" - woah, that WAY too personal to just go and do some kayaking and rock climbing in a sling.

I don't know but I am thinking if you submit like a therapist and doctors note WITH the application to verify that the diagnosis and treatment has been going on X months/years and a contact number, I hope they won't make a hassle. I think the thing is liability as well as a few incidences of finding out they have like an out of control bulemic on the trip and now the person is in the hospital and why weren't they informed, etc! So maybe ask why they need the info. But then, sometimes they are bigotted, like I wanted to do the JET program (teaching english in Japan) which doesn't allow you if you have a 'mental illness' whether it is treated or not. I hope you get to take the volunteer program; becuase I don't think the world is changed by perfect people (in fact the people who seem to change the world often HAVE or struggle with lots of mental illness, anxiety (Lincoln had this big time), or other issues.

(holy longer reply!)

Lene: So, did you wear black turtle necks and read sylvia plath and all the female poets who killed themselves at an early age! Yeah, in the book Stoner and Spaz, the character with CP is a shy person who speaks to almost no one until the stoner girl comes along and the same thing, she tells him everyone things he is too good, too aloof for them. Sigh.

Oh, did you want a challenge in a boyfriend or want to BE challenged? I used to get into guys who were very intellectual and impetuious - the whole, "Have you read Kirkigaard?" followed by, "Lets get in the truck and go to mexico!" and I was like, "But aren't we on a lunch break?" and they were like, "You coming?" - Now I'm thinking, "Wow, I must have a lot of energy because those guys are WAY too much work" (and I think intellectual, conflicted anarchist's are too aren't they?) - okay, yes, there was this guy once, you can unhinge the dropped jaw.

Tom P: What, doesn't everyone read Camus for fun! I'm joking but not much since I proposed to my English Teacher a condenced tranliteration of Gibbons Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire in 11th grade. And I did the first book too (or most of it). He thought I was insane.

It sounds like you almost had fun in high school; where would all the fun go if authority figures (like Principals) weren't always so....authority figures. Never understood the Che Guevara thing, maybe you can explain it to me; I was all about Da Vinci (back when people thought that was a Ninja turtle).

Haha - Dating is bourgeois - I love it! I am thinking there must be a road trip story in here somewhere!

Neil: Yeah, I think your first paragraph is most of junior high and usually the first few years of high school. I was like "Wow he had a DOZEN friends!" I had like, one maybe or two. So I'm thinking you as the big socializer!

I think a lot of people don't understand the university system - Linda has the same problem until I explained that university and Elementary school are pretty much the same - they just want to know you read the book, original thought only AFTER your first few years please! Any thoughts on going back now, I'm sure you would do very well and might enjoy it a lot; adult learners tend to have very high grades and high motivation because they KNOW that knowledge means something and class is hard but life can be harder.

Well, count me in on that, I'm trying to grow up (wait a minute, no I'm not, I'm going to stay early 20's forever! At pride the teachers union rep though I was like 22 or something and said how, often things look different when you are a teacher than a student. And I said, "That story I gave you, I WAS the teacher" and they were all shocked. Sigh, I have to PROVE I'm old! Even more depressing!). But still hard time keeping friends cause I can be a little er intense at time (like, say, yesterday!), so working on you with that!

On of the main reasons I keep trying to get a job is I miss the light but human interaction of a workplace. And if you ever find a way to stop the voices at night, when lying in the dark, let me know, I could use that solution to.

Buddist Zen hugs at you! (What is the counter hug, Shinto Hugs at you!)

Elizabeth McClung said...

Fridawrites: Well, I have a capacity for getting right to people's inner place and getting them pissed off enough to say things that are TRUE (but which they will regret later - Linda calls me the "Bullshit detector" - which may or may not be a compliment!). Also I think after 25 years of the ADA the idea of making a simple accomodation like a four hour shift for someone with CFS/ME is not a huge mental leap for the US, while in Canada, making accomodation in any form seems a huge leap for people - they really do expect someone in a wheelchair to show up with a BETTER resume than everyone else and still likely won't give them the job ('liability you know' - 'oh, are you a doctor and have training for medical assesments?' - employer: 'errr....') - so how I get a job when people simply Look at me and make assumptions about my limitiations before even knowing what they are...I don't know.

Ohhhh, you really were the smart and studious one! Boys who were intellectually strange? Hard to imagine? Actually in the MRI machine they offered me music like Classical, Country, Rock and I asked for the Classic who the conductors were (becuase the right conductor can make the symphony sound so different) but she must of thought I said composer so she said, "We have Vivaldi! And Brahms!" and I groaned and said, okay, I'll take rock, I get enough vivaldi going to Respite aka Old Folks Homes. And she got a bit huffy and said, "Well a LOT of people like it!" (I didn't have to ask to KNOW it would be the four seasons.) So, would you date me? Yes, I can see you as the rebel and I can see people being surprised when your invisable line got crossed or your mischief imp turned you into another person (It is always the quiet ones...).

I'm glad you got the post card! I hope it was a success.

Collette: Horaay, your first comment! I am so with you on the authority thing, but would always read the school handbook to find a way to drive the authorities crazy that they couldn't punish me for - did you do this? Or were you forever altering your uniform? (We actually had a school lecture because girls were turning their collars UP and rolling up thier sleeves and that was NOT the proper way to wear the uniform - gee, why would I want to rebel?)

SOOOOOOOOOO....where did you get the Pot plant? Boyfriend? Or yours? Oh, the irony of being a teacher must drive you crazy (it did me), seeing me again, trying to give the "this will save you five years of wasting your energy rebelling for the wrong reasons" lecture and then realizing that now "I" am the boring old person who just "doesn't get it, and yada yada, blah, blah, you'll never understand me cause you're so OLD!" You get those moments? Maybe not, maybe even now I think too much.

Victor was a bad boy and you were attracted to them so a good match. However, with the giving things away with your face, what happened when a "bad boy" did something REALLY bad, like, mean, and that would show up on your face, like "that's not nice or cool!" - get you in trouble?

Veralidaine: Wow, I can actually HEAR that phrase being sarcastically dripped at me from back then. You WERE that girl! Did I make sucking up faces at you and started looking between you and the teacher and kissing my hand to say you such a suck up?

Yeah, I bet you got to clean out a lot of supply rooms becuase they could "trust you" and yeah, I KNEW you weren't as perfect as you pretended to be (or actually just hoped that no one could be - that would be creepy!)

Perpetual Beginner: Oh, you were that girl, sorry, yeah, everyone hated you becuase the teacher goes, "And this test was very hard, in fact there was only ONE A", and then they walk toward you and hand you the paper as the burning glares of hate bore into you?" Why do teachers do that - do they think it will make you loved?

Wow, perfect scores, piano recitals too - have you seen the Anime Piano, about a girl who does Piano and comes to the crisis of "Why am I doing this when none of my friends are?" along with, "Do I like the piano?" and "Do I want to throw away all these years of practice?" - good series! I can find and send it to you if you want! 13 episodes! So do you still play at all?

I took the SAT at the university for some reason but scored well enough to have loads of loads of scholarships...so I went to community college (yeah, I was a rebel, even when there was no sense in it! STUPID!). I was in the .001% for math so I think a few of my classmates who had taken it 3 or 4 times to get a higher score to get into this or that college wanted to kill me.

How did the piano recital go?

Then you wanted to be invisable and now you do martial arts - I want to hear the story some day of the emerging of Perpetual Beginner!

Neil: I've had that happen and the driver NOT move and then passengers in disgust come off and CARRY me on.

Actually better than my first prarie experience in Winnipeg when I was taking my FIRST bus (built like tanks for the winter) when the driver stopped, and I couldn't get on as he ran out of the bus screaming obscenities and then started pounding on a car which had cut him off or something. I just thought, "Things are different here."

Linda Mentioned the Sikh turbans too but I think that was ONLY after a court case and obviously they are not big in change. Too bad. I would like to do a little low stress connect the dots research work. And I know how to use all forms of microfilm, microfishe, and arcane storage devices!

Giana: My feelings exactly, I know she is out partying at night or something.

Thanks for the tip on the positive discimination because I wasn't getting anywhere on my job searches (another turn down this week for a 3 month wait for find out for a job I am overqualified for but just don't seem to even be interviewed, in a job market desperate for workers?), I was like, Hey, I'll take DEFAULT! But if it is just another way TO discriminate or that is how it is used and you still aren't seen as anything but the chair, then I guess I will avoid it too! Sucks!

As long as you can talk into a microphone for 8 hours on your butt, I think the job is yours. But who knows, maybe they have other medical requirements. Then you can gaze to your heart content (or throw in sexual innuendo with your call signs).

Yeah, more squirrels!

Tammy said...

I don't think I really was any of those girls. I was more the geeky, please god don't look at me, girl. I had a few friends, was very smart, but loathed any kind of attention drawn to me. My teachers loved me, and I was always somewhat of a teachers pet. I was the tallest kid in my grade..so I SO understand the height and growing problems..I'm 6 foot. It's tough when you are taller than any of the guys, it was a very small rural high school...I swear to gods, there were tractors drove to school during "busy season".
I just wanted to be invisible. Oh heck, boys and sex was still pretty "Eeewww" to me until I hit college. I guess I was a late bloomer.
I read. During class..during lunch...on the bus. I read. That's what got me through high school. I kept my head down, tried to blend in, even though I felt like I was always the elephant in the room. Yuck, I hated High School.

Carapace said...

Well, I think you're interpreting one of the girls wrong.
Brown-hair is clearly the angry violent ninja loner of the team. Look! She has cowboy boots*! What school allows that as a uniform? And clearly, those cards are meant to be hurled with impaling force. So sure, she's serious, but in a bushido way.**

And if you're guessing that was me, you'd be right,except I always grinned instead of always scowling. Gads, I was so intense. Voted "most likely to lead a violent ovethrow of the government" in the unofficial student yearbook for my class. I was surprised to learn that bit, but I guess they assumed I would build a combat wheelchair.

And I dated any boy who'd pay for dinner. That's what dates are for, right? But I only liked the angry-loner boys. Go team crazy!

Word on the scary,scary redhead. I'm sure she's SUPPOSED to be all nice and vulnerable, but that is the look of a person who sings during vivisection. Creeepy.

*Technically, she is a girl. They are still cowboy boots. Also, she would serve the purpose on the team of being the boy--violent and goal oriented. Sentai/team shows are my subset fandom, can you tell?#

# Plus she's wearing crosses! That means she's foreign, or exotic, or something.

** Keeping in mind that in Japan, this can lead to fan clubs and cult status. Like Sakaki in Azumanga Daioh.

Neil said...

No Beth, a dozen friends in total, from Kindergarten through Grade 12. "Friends" meaning people who would speak to me. Four of them, from three different schools might have come to my house. In my first three semesters of university, I spoke to a few people, but would not have run across them outside the classroom. The second try at uni, there was a young lady with whom I made sorta friends; we actually studied together a couple of times. I think she's a jail guard in Edmonton now.

There are maybe three people in my life from before I was 30 that I might still recognize. Other than my chiropractor, that is, and she only just fits into that under-30 gap, too.

I'm not trying university a third time; not enough money to send the kids, let alone their father! They'd better get good part-time jobs and save lots for post-secondary stuff.

9-1-1 operator is a VERY high-stress position. I know one (in the RCMP!), and I don't know how she manages to stay sane - screaming person with a knife being waved around, maybe with a thick foreign accent, and drunks yelling in the background - no thanks.

Yes, the turbans came after court was at least threatened. They tried to argue officer safety, but now we seethe recruits in driver training around the city, and sometimes there's a turban in RCMP blue; it looks kinda classy, actually.

Hey, I'll take any hugs you can deliver! Zen only because they're the hugs you'd give if you were there, but you're not so you can't.


abi said...

There are fewer people identifying with the black-haired girl than I expected - I somehow feel like people reading this website will feel as though they are misfits; I forget that it's full of massively intelligent people who may also have been rather hardworking.

The "You have the ability and the potential" speech - I'd forgotten about that. Thanks for reviving fond memories. I must have been rather frustrating to teach. I now have a reputation for being super-organised and working very hard, as far as my potential supervisor is concerned. I do hope I don't get found out on that one.

My high school friends aren't really intellectuals, except for the biologist - some of them are just frighteningly intelligent, which is great fun as far as conversations are concerned, but results in being beaten in exams most of the time. I suppose I could always have done some work... Oh yes - forgot to mention that I went to an all-girls school.

My mother has cool clothes from the 60s/70s - I still wear some of them now (not the short ones - an extra stone (weight) does not make my legs any prettier). One dress in particular receives loads of compliments. Frankly the print on it is hideous, but it must be in at the moment?!? I am keeping some very nice clothes to pass on to my children (including those belonging to my mother - the ones my sister didn't get). I hope I don't only have boys - they will hate me. Probably.

I didn't just date the guy for the car - he lived 35 miles away, so it was essential (public transport was a bit crap between our houses), and also very useful.

This has been an interesting trip down memory lane. It's been fun reading everyone else's responses, too - you have some interesting readers!

cheryl g said...

OK, Sis – I owe you an explanation…

In High School I wanted to be the brown haired girl that no one noticed or bothered. That didn’t work. My older brother, who was a year ahead of me, has aspergers. The whole school thought he was weird and that made me weird by association. That also meant I was known.

Since I couldn’t be invisible I chose to be very visible. I was good with a joke, funny story, or quip. I was friendly to everyone. I was on the periphery of all the groups but not truly accepted in any of them. I was the loner who wasn’t really alone. I was smart but also a rebel. I wasn’t popular but I wasn’t a total outcast either. I had weird hobbies like archery and taxidermy. I was thought of as a straight arrow but I drank and smoked dope.

Tom P. said...

So why did we love Che? Che was in medical school in Argentina and was engaged to be married. He was all set to settle down and live the middle class life. But he and a friend decided to take a motorcycle trip (see the book and movie "The Motorcycle Diaries") across South America. Che was stunned by the poverty he found. Combined with the Marxist literature he read he decided that the only thing that could change South America and end the cycle of poverty was a violent overthrow of the existing structure. He ended up meeting Castro in Guatemala and worked with him to build a militant Marxist revolutionary army. The rest is history. It is that rejection of the middle class life that he could have had that made him our hero. Hey, what did we know? We were in high school! ;)

andrea said...

It's because it's "fair" to treat everyone with the same level of useless, stupid disacommodation. Bureaucracy at its most spiteful, gah!

Special picture post just for YOU:


FridaWrites said...

Oh, music and MRI machines. So hard to hear over that alien banging noise. I've learned some machines are quieter than others. I usually opt for rock for optimal distraction, plus the average rock song is 3 1/2 to 4 minutes or so? So you can guess how much time you have left by how many songs you've listened to.

Actually, most of the boys were not smart enough for my standards. I needed a way bigger pool. I don't mean that to sound snobbish. It absolutely didn't occur to me that I could date women until I was in college and married, too late. But yes, you'd have been smart enough for me, as would have a coworker who figured out the same thing. Although I'm close to the middle on the Kinsey scale, my experiences with men were bad.

Perpetual Beginner said...

Yes! That was me absolutely. Add in a high school so insanely competitive that Harvard pre-meds were shocked when we compared notes, and you have a recipe for a school pariah. We had an English teacher who gave one (1) A per 12 students, regardless of actual achievement. Being an A student in her twelve person debate class was a good way to get mugged and have your research notes stolen.

The piano recital went well. I was insanely nervous because I was playing from memory for the first time - Debussy's Clair de Lune. I do still play (33 years and counting now). I do occassional church services, but mostly play for my own pleasure.

If a good opportunity to do biography doesn't spring up here shortly, I'll see about doing a blog post of my own on how I stopped trying to occlude myself into oblivion. I've got to write three essays for my black belt exam and a couple touch on the subject, so I should start introspecting in that direction.

Perpetual Beginner said...

Oh - and no, I haven't seen Anime Piano. I would absolutely love to!

Dawn Allenbach said...

I was mostly the brown-haired girl without the snobby air (at least I TRIED not to have a snobby air). My freshman year and part of my sophomore I tried to fit in, but I gave up. During lunch hours my sophomore year, I'd go back to my classroom after eating lunch to read or daydream rather than hang around and talk to other kids (eeeewwww!). During study hall, I had nothing to study because my work was already done, so I'd get a pass to go to the library for a book (usually I'd get a Stephen King). And yes, I'd roll my eyes at the loud-mouths.