This morning we had one of those lengthy discussions that made me sit up and ask “what kind of daze have I been walking in?” During the week when I’m not at doctor’s appointments or accompanying Elizabeth, I am at work. So I look forward to Friday nights as I know there won’t be any more work or doctor’s appointments for two days. I come home and mentally switch off my responsibilities.
Today I realized, with a little help, that one of those responsibilities I have been switching off is taking care of Elizabeth. Sure, I’m still making meals and giving her pills (sometimes) and getting groceries, etc., but I don’t do the things I do during the week. For example, during the week I call her late mornings to check if she’s had her pills and her juice. In the afternoon I call to make sure her care worker has given her the lunch I prepared and that she’s eating it.
But on the weekends, I sleep in late (10:30) and by the time I get around to making lunch it’s 2 or 3 pm, if I have it at all (hey it is almost dinner time, why not wait until then!). I also don’t check on her as frequently as I do when I’m home in the evening during the week. On weekends I take away the stability a routine offers. This was today’s first “A Ha!” moment.
This lack of stability is usually because I’m so focused on my own activities. Elizabeth pointed this out. Reflecting on past weekends I can see that she’s right. That reflection was my second “A Ha!” moment. Each Friday I think “I’m going to do x, y and z” this weekend and rarely does this include Elizabeth (or even TELL Elizabeth, or ASK Elizabeth what she is planning on doing, etc). Today I was planning on vacuuming, cleaning the living room windowsill, and planting my herbs and putting them on the clean sill.
Instead, I did none of the above and we spent some time together. So what did we do? We went training. Actually, I went cycling and she trained with her wheelchair racing chair.
As this was her first time out in the chair after it got fixed, she wanted to practice steering and breaking where it wasn’t too busy and had very few stop signs. We packed the van with her two chairs and my bike and drove down to the village a few minutes away.She had spent some time planning a route which only had two stop signs and one yield. Half of it was also part of the route for several Victoria races throughout the year, including the TC 10K we did in April.
She had only been wheeling a couple of minutes when she had her first hill. As I watched her I could see how difficult it was to push, push, push slowly up. “Boy, she’s going to be hurting tonight” I told myself.
A downhill and a couple more turns later and we were on the waterfront.
It was a gorgeous day – sunny but not too hot – and like ever other time I see this view, I pondered why I don’t come down to the waterfront more often (still no answer). Looking out over the water I can see the Olympic mountains and I know on the other side of the straight (about 18 miles) are Cheryl and Maggie.While I’m pondering, Elizabeth is hard at work. She needs to stay close to the centre of the road as it is the flattest area. This does not make the drivers in vehicles behind her happy.
Since staying close to the side risks Elizabeth hitting the curb and flipping over, she doesn’t much care if the car behind her has to take TWO OUNCES of pressure off the gas while she is out there pumping her arms off. There were more vehicles than I had anticipated, but that made sense as other people wanted to enjoy the waterfront on such a nice day, too. Fortunately, there were plenty of breaks for vehicles to overtake her in the oncoming lane.She waved at a couple of motorcycle groups and they waved back. The majority of the last half of her route was uphill, with a head on ocean wind. It caused a lot of resistance and made the uphills for her even harder. In sympathy of Elizabeth’s plight, I decided to change my bike gears to make it harder to pedal. She kept going and eventually made it to the top of the hill, turned and was rewarded with a slight downhill back to the van.
We stopped at the van and I assumed we were going home.
“That’s my lap,” Elizabeth said.
Alarm bells went off in my head. Lap? As in, one of many?
“You planning on doing another one? It took over 30 minutes to do this one.”
“Well YES, I know, now we have a lap time.”
I stared at her.
She explained, “I need to do it quicker.”
Okay, you know Elizabeth, should I have been surprised? No, I don’t think so. I have a hard time saying no, so I resigned myself to another lap and a painful night for Elizabeth and an interrupted night for me.
(Elizabeth: Oh, I am SO cruel to Linda by pushing myself up hills with my arms – ha, I can barely get her to wake when I need help getting to bed, if the Red Cross bed didn’t squeak so much she would NEVER wake up”.)So Elizabeth was off again. This time as she worked her way up the first hill a bus driver kept honking his horn at her indicating she should move over.
He had room to pass, but was just being rude. As he passed, he changed his electronic sign in the rear of the bus to “Yield” – his message to Elizabeth. Well, she had one of her own and involved a finger – too bad he couldn’t see it wrapped in her glove! Jerk!!To cut a long story short, she did her second lap over 4 minutes quicker than the first. She feels if she trains regularly for the next few weeks she’ll be ready for the race on Canada Day, July 1st. This 10k race is to raise funds for Canadian Olympic and Para Olympic Athletes.
We made it home around 2:30 – just in time for me to start making waffles for brunch (see what I mean about messing up the routine?). While eating we watched half an episode of Waking The Dead. (One of the less strenuous activities we do together is watch TV series on DVD. Elizabeth orders British series from Amazon.co.uk and the ones I like we watch together. See, another way she shows she cares! It is also fun to see familiar UK stuff and hear the slang)
We both napped and I got up early to put the roast into the oven. I often make roasts on the weekend as it’s a ‘real meal’ and as an added bonus gives us leftovers so less cooking the next day. When Elizabeth awoke, she gently suggested that perhaps we could brainstorm some meal options that didn’t involve the oven on for long periods of time during the hot summer. Our room temperature went up 2 degrees, even with the air conditioner on. I was having similar thoughts as I put the roast into the oven. Great minds think alike. Now we just need to find some time to brainstorm quick meal ideas.
We finished our evening by watching the rest of the Waking the Dead episode and then each taking a computer and working on this blog. While I was busy writing, she worked on the photos I took earlier this afternoon and created this video for your enjoyment (Click on the title link below video to see the full page version).
Wheelchair girl goes race training: #1 ocean to hills from Elizabeth McClung on Vimeo.
Posts
21 comments:
Hi:
You look good in that chair, Elizabeth! Well, you look good all the time, I'm sure, but I'm a sucker for a girl in a cycling helmet. :)
My dear wife is working on something for her geologist client (she does desktop publishing) and listening to music while I'm on our laptop 'puter. The song playing while I read of your relaxing(?) day was "Holding Out for a Hero" from the movie Shrek. It seemed to fit quite well for some reason.
Linda, the daze you were in is quite understandable: you work all week for someone else plus Beth, and come weekends, you want/need to relax. So you forget too much? Welcome to the human race, dear. And now, as a result of your Aha! moments, you will likely develop a routine you can both live with, and you'll both be better off after your discussion.
Oh, the video's up now. How cool! And after that one, I found a video of you with your handcycle. Now what happened to that interesting little vehicle? I've seen a fellow cruising Regina on one of those, pulling his regular chair behind.
As for the bus, I admit the driver was being rude, but he's also thinking that he'd like as much room as possible, in case some idiot in a car forces him to avoid a head-on collision. But the photo looks like you moved over to the side of the road, so perhaps he was being extra rude today.
Lastly, our fridge isn't the one making the chirping noises. Despite it being too 1:40 a.m., there's a finch burbling away in the back yard!
Good night, Elizabeth. Dream pleasant dreams of flying, and loving Linda.
Neil
Firstly: The video looks good. Looks like you got the compression right.
Impressed Elizabeth cut time on her second run, even though she must have been hurting. Hoping the payback is not too severe
As for the weekend meals; I often make a big Sunday meal just to say we had something substantial and to have those leftovers. If you want to avoid the oven how about doing a big stirfry? They are so versatile, beef or chicken, rice or noodles, whatever veg you have and they can be frozen.
Biking beside the ocean sounds like a perfect way to spend part of the weekend.
You know though you're likely to be flooded with recipes for the summer now.
And I have no luck (yet) finding a Hello Kitty Air Conditioner. Washing machines, fans, space heaters: yes. Air conditioner: no.
I'm impressed by those pictures. You look really great. Does the racing chair make much of a difference? I'm a life long wheelchair user due to CP and on Sunday I will be fulfilling a long held dream and competing in a 5K in aid of Cancer Research UK. I'll just be doing it in my regular chair which is a Quickie 2. I hope to either do a 10K or a half marathon next year because I really want to get fit, lose some weight and stop being so reliant on my powerchair. Do you have any words of advice or tips etc for someone who is trying to get more into wheelchair sports? I swim a lot and I used to do horse riding but I've never done much else and the pics of you doing so intrigue me.
(((hugs)))
Elizabeth: I loved the video! Hope you're fighting fit for the Canada Day race.
Linda: it sounds like you're not exactly neglecting Elizabeth... you do need some time for your own life, and I don't just mean at work. I guess the best times are when you can do something enjoyable, together. That's what a good marriage is about. But when you have to spend so much time caring, and I mean physically and emotionally caring, you have some needs too. And I know we all log on to follow Elizabeth's progress, primarily, but you're part of that too. Take care of yourself!
Great video! You sure live in a beautiful place.
Erm... one question. Exactly how did Linda record the video parts and ride her bike at the same time? One of tjose "look, ma, no hands" moments?
Good morning:
Does your apartment have a balcony? If so, cooking all summer on a barbeque might help reduce the heat inside.
A CrockPot/slow cooker would help if you have to cook indoors; it would be on for hours, but at a lower temperature. It would heat the room less than an oven - it would be about the same as simmering a pot on the stove. Of course, slow cookers are slow (6-8 hours for a roast), which means they require planning, which just ain't gonna happen most days in our house.
My wonderful wife suggests quesadillas, which are about as quick as an omelet to cook. And there's always the dreaded microwave.
We do NOT recommend that you try baking pita or naan bread in the summer - that takes a 550 degree oven Last summer, my wife made about 50 pitas for a November medieval feast. But since our furnace had died in the spring, she cooked on the cooler nights to warm the house a little. Tasty AND a warmer house when we needed it! Yeah, they only need to bake for a couple of minutes, but when you do a dozen in one session, it does get warm.
And those are the suggestions from "Cooking in Darkest Saskatchewan."
Segue #1: I love the stone-based ramp or sidewalk in the background of the still photos about ten seconds into the video.
Segue #2: The hospital across the alley built a news psych wing about en years ago, but they ran out of money, and never finished the second floor. Now there have been enough private donations that they can build a "Mother/baby" unit. So they're jack-hammering and creating lots of demolition noise and garbage from the UNFINISHED second floor, which had nothing but concrete and lights for the last 8-10 years.
And we're led to believe that the mothers and babies using the wing will share the elevator with the psych patients. This may prove to be not the best planning, since I happen to know approximately how many patients escape from the psych ward each year....
Bloody bureaucrats!
Love and zen hugs,
Neil and Maryanne
I had a comment all ready to go and my stupid browser crashed! I'll try that again...
Linda, You really need some time for yourself apart from work, so how about finding a disability support group in your area? We have them in England and it's a great way for Disabled people to socialise and for their partner/carer to have a break and talk to people in the same position.
Did the sky fall in becase you deviated from 'The Routine'? Nope, so stop kicking yourself please ((HUG)).
Elizabeth: Has anyone checked your hypothalamus? That can affect your ability to control body temperature if it goes 'wonky'. It's also connected to Hypothyroidism which would account for thinning hair too.
Elizabeth, you don't inspire me because ICK, OMG what a terrible word and all (I'm being sarcastic) but dammit, you are teaching me what flying through the pain looks like and wow. Thank you.
Linda, I'm glad that you are having aha moments, like Neil said, it will help things run more comfortably for both of you, but do remember that you need time for you. I know that is presumptuous of me to say when I don't actually know you, but you are human, and we all need time for ourselves.
The mere idea of someone ordering Dr. Elizabeth Fucking McClung to "yield" in any context is intrinsically hilarious. The big electronic light-up format just makes it funnier.
OH! And I almost forgot:
Thought of you, Elizabeth, while watching an old episode of Babylon 5 with my true love (yes, on a DVD we own; yes, because we are huge, enormous nerds). Why? Because during the episode in question, somebody said to somebody else, "If you're already falling off a cliff, it's as good a time as any to try to learn how to fly."
Or something like that.
It's Linda..
Thanks for all your comments.
I will respond to your comments this evening when I get back from work.
Go Elizabeth! What a lovely spot & looks like a beautiful day. It's so great that you two went out together. It really makes me look forward to the time when Dennis & I will be able to go out & do things together again. Maybe we can take a drive over to the ocean on his next day off. Of course Elizabeth has to go another lap & better her time.
But it is true that you need some time to do the things YOU love to do (I hope you got to plant your herb seeds). I used to garden quite a bit (had a flower & herb container garden on our deck -grew my own flowers for drying & pressing). Dennis would often take me to the nursery where I loved to shop & look at all the plants. So it was a shared outing even if it was much more fun for me. And you do need a bit of time to yourself too, a little solitude & me time.
Sharon
I think I got interrupted before I finished my comment, but maybe I didn't, so forgive me if I'm repeating myself.
I agree that it is a good idea for you to get a crockpot. That's what I use here deep in the heart of Texas during the 9 months of the year that using the oven is not a good idea. You can cook anything in them that you can cook in the oven, and a lot that would be needing tending over the stovetop all day.
Elizabeth, you look like you were meant to be racing along in that wheelchair. It's obvious that challenging yourself brings you a deep pleasure. I wonder if you might get a little more respect from the drivers if you get a sign for the back of the chair saying "Athlete training"
Linda, good on you for realizing that your weekends with Beth are important. How we spend our free time, who we spend it with, is vital to a strong relationship. I've just watched my sister's relationship with her boyfriend fall apart because he didn't think doing things they both enjoyed together was important. Whether or not there is disability in the picture, failing to nurture each other is a relationship killer. It's wonderful that you two consciously work on growing your marriage.
Awesome video, Linda! I don't know how it is that you both have such talent with the camera and editing.
Linda here...
Neil: Holding Out for a Hero sounds like a great track for a video.
We rented the handcycle last year. This year Elizabeth wanted to do the wheelchair racing.
So it really is a finch. I like birds, but when they interrupt my sleep I'm not so fond of them. Do you think it's wild or did someone let their pet loose?
victor kellar: A stirfry was one of Elizabeth's suggestions. She's got a great recipe from when she still cooked. I'll have to dig out the wok.
heather: I can't believe you found all those hello kitty appliances. The wonders of the Internet, eh?
emma: I think Elizabeth is the best person to answer your questions. It looks to me that it's easier going up the hills in the racing chair, but I think a regular manual wheelchair gives you more control. In wheelchair racing your hands are wrapped in big leather gloves and your fingers are folded over to make a fist and then velcro is wrapped around the glove to keep it that way. So, no finger control.
katej: Yes, I definitely best enjoy the times we spend together. I do enjoy going to work though, as that is where the bulk of my support network is.
lene: To answer your question... one hand on the handlebar, one hand on the camera, one eye on the road and the other on the viewfinder. One of the few multi-tasking things I can manage for short periods of time.
neil: Unfortunately we don't have a balcony. If we did, I'd be barbequing several times a week. I love barbequing.
Quesadillas is a great suggestion. Thanks. And the crock pot - I've got a tiny one but I think it's pretty mean to have one going while Elizabeth is in the house smelling everything for hours and I'm at work. I guess the smell would either make her hungry for hours and she couldn't do anything about it
or it would create more nausea than she currently has.
gaina: I hate it when that happens. I had typed a long email to a school friend of mine a couple weeks ago and I was nearing the end when I hit I'm not sure what button which deleted the whole thing. I haven't retyped it yet I was so frustrated - so good on you for redoing it.
em: Actually, I think I get more me-time than single parents. If I make it home at a decent hour and Elizabeth is still napping I get to do quiet stuff like sudoko, internet surfing or reading books. I'm a trashy romance addict - and Elizabeth helps me find the books at a good price. My favourite author is Jill Shalvis. I'm picky about my reading - it must be under 250 pages or I can't read it all in one sitting. And the heroine can't get be stupid, but strong and independent.
saraarts: I think the bus driver was a real jerk. When you compare the amount of energy it would take for him to ease off the gas or pass her compared to the energy Elizabeth was expending I know who
would have had an easier time of adjusting their course.
sharonmv: I hope you can have trip to ocean soon. No, I didn't have a chance to plant my herbs. Maybe in the next few days.
yanub: I always think Elizabeth does an amazing job with putting the videos together. I made one once and it took me hours and hours finding which photos to use, in what order, getting rid of background noise, and setting it all to music to tell a story. My photos are just a small part of the process.
That totally rocks. The video, I mean.
Linda, I am SO impressed with your biking/no hands/filming/viewfinding skills. That's a fabulous video, and the pictures are fabulous. I would have tried one picture, then hit the pavement in one big ugly splat. That is a mad,crazy skill you have there.
You really got a good grip on figuring out your AHA moments. I'm so very impressed.
Elizabeth: You leave me rather speechless. I would have hit one small hill, pulled over crying and sobbing, and given up. Kudos for you for bettering your time. I would have been a puddle in a few blocks.
Thank you again for the postcard. It's fabulous. Oh..and I showed it to hubby, it didn't even register to him that there were "close friends". He just said it was "pretty".LOL. What can I say, he has been very sheltered here on the farm. I LOVED the picture of you and Linda. It's a great picture and you both look like you are having such a good time. Thank you again. It totally made my day.
How long was the course?
Hand cycles... I have an upper body ergometer, does that count? I mean, I suppose I'd actually have to use it, but does it count?
I have someone in once a week to cook meals for me. The other people that I have working for me either don't cook or cook ethnicities that I'm not overly fond of. But everyone knows how to take a plate from the freezer and microwave it.
Crackers & milk, with blueberries & a little sugar, was a nice summertime yell when I was growing up. Not all the time, of course.
Stirfries are good.
When Elizabeth goes out in the evening, can you do some cooking then?
Hi Linda
I suggest you get an indoor electric countertop grill (like the George Foreman). That way you can cook quickly without heating up the apartment as much. Just get one with the removable cooking surface for cleaning.
I have a 3 quart crockpot that is free to a good home if you want a bigger one to try out. I have some great crockpot recipes too like one for great enchiladas.
Crock pot?
Yeah, back to the crockpot thing. If y'all use it on weekends, then the smell shouldn't be such bother. Get a great big one and fix up a huge roast or a couple of chickens or lasagna or whatever. But make food for the day separately, like a big pasta salad or a stir-fry. That way, the smell of the food slow cooking won't be overwhelming the appetite, and the point of making a big baked dish--leftovers for days--won't be wasted by either ravenous overeating or repulsion from it having been the only smell for an entire day. And maybe most Saturdays you wouldn't even be home to smell it until it was just about done anyhow. You're not supposed to hang around for slow cooking.
Post a Comment