Linda here…
Those of you who had the chance to read the blog last night have noticed it has now disappeared. That’s because I needed to delete it.
I originally wanted to take over writing Elizabeth’s blog on weekends in order to give Elizabeth some R&R time as blogs take hours for her to write. The problem was that I was so focused on my good intention that I continued to focus on that idea to the point of ignoring the essence of what Elizabeth’s blog is about – What is going on with Elizabeth.
I wanted Elizabeth to have a nice relaxing Saturday. Trouble was, we were having a heatwave in Victoria yesterday, with temperatures reaching nearly 30 degrees Celsius. By the afternoon Elizabeth had heat exhaustion which turned into full heat stroke before the evening was over, and Elizabeth was in agonizing pain for 10-12 hours. So much for relaxing.
If there had been no blog, people would have had a more realistic idea of what was going on (Bad day for Elizabeth). And when instead of writing about what happened to Elizabeth, I wrote an introductory ‘fluff’ piece, that wasn’t a representation of where Elizabeth OR I was because it was easy to assume that we were having relaxation and fun instead of ice vests and passing out and hands turning purple and blue. So I never gave you the chance to help or express to Elizabeth your feelings of what she was experiencing. And when Elizabeth found out after she was rational, after what she had experienced and then read what I posted she was kinda pissed off (in no uncertain terms).
I’m getting (from Elizabeth) and giving myself a second chance so I will come back later to tell you what her day really was like and my emotions about it: helplessness at Elizabeth’s abdominal pain, feeling like a villain (seeing Elizabeth shiver and protest) for putting cold clothes/packs on her to cool her off, worry about her withdrawal and panic at finding her passed out on the bathroom floor.
In the meantime, I just wanted to set the record straight.
Talk again later,
Linda
P.S. Thanks for all the comments – sorry but they were deleted when the blog was deleted.
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1 hour ago
14 comments:
Linda, thanks for stepping up and helping with the blog, in addition to everything else you do. There are a lot of people who follow Elizabeths ups and downs, myself included.
Hugs for both of you. I was thinking of Elizabeth when my west coast friends were reporting 90+ degree weather (F). Do you guys have A/C? If not, is there some way you can get some?
You have a hard act to follow, Linda. Elizabeth is rawly honest in a way very few people can actually manage on an open blog. If it takes some practice, then it takes some practice. Good luck!
Linda, I did think, from your previous post, that maybe Elizabeth was having a very unusual go at several hours of sleep, and that such a thing is too rare to be interrupted with blogging.
I look forward to continuing to hear from you on your view of what is going on, even if Elizabeth decides to limit you to only once in a while. It is important that you not try to make things sound peachy keen. We know that Elizabeth is fragile, and that life is hard with far too many sharp pointy bits sticking out. It is OK with us to not pretend that everything is "fine." And things being not fine does not mean that life is not worth living or an invitation to a pityfest. It's just life, as it is. You probably feel you have to keep the charade up at work, but here, you are with family. We really do want to know what is going on.
Elizabeth, I am so sorry you were having heat stroke and such pain, and not getting to hear from us as you needed. It's hard for me to get my head around such heat intolerance, what with me living in Texas and complaining everytime the temperature dips lower than 22 C. I suppose you feel at 30 like I do at 40, only you feel worse because you can't sweat. If sweating is a gift, I am well endowed.
Linda, even if you did botch the blogging yesterday, you've already gotten better. Thank you for sharing both how Elizabeth has been feeling, and your own fears and doubts.
Best wishes and love to you both. I'm sorry to hear about the heatwave - awful for Beth and awful for you too. But I'm sure, remembering the end of her last post, that it was better for her because you were there.
As you say, this is Beth's blog and that's important but I think what you say matters too. You are part of her story just as she is part of yours.
I'll look forward to Beth's next post but I'll also read and learn from what you have to say. And I hope that both of you are recvering now and able to spend some more relaxing time together.
Well, that puts a different spin on the day.
Linda, it wasn't a "fluff" piece; it was a gently explanation of a very good idea.
Elizabeth: no being pissed at Linda. She meant well, and if she didn't give us a detailed explanation of your day, she did have the best of intentions. Besides, it's her first time writing for you - give the lady some encouragement! :)
What's going on in general is what you gave us, Linda. What's going on in detail can always be added later.
Now both of you kiss and make up. No, no! UP, not OUT. That's for later, you naughty pair.
Since I'm not there, I may not understand the situation completely, but Beth, can you put on the ice vest as a preventive measure when it's promising to be hot outside?
As for my house, we're going to paint a room in our house, so I toddled off to buy a short stepladder (we have 9 foot ceilings). I'll send you a photo of how I got a 4-foot ladder home with a bicycle.
Love and hugs, and hopes for a cooler, less painful night.
Neil
I get the blog as an e-mail, then come to this site to leave my comments and read everyone else's comments.
So I read the e-mail, and came here to say that I appreciate your concern, and your willingness to fill in over the weekends.
But I was concerned, too. Had you talked to Elizabeth about this? Was she going to be okay with this? And, selfishly, were we going to get just postings about what happened during the week, or were we going to get updates about the weekend as well?
Now, understand, please: you being able to spend more time with Elizabeth is a good thing. I mean, you are married, after all. (And she didn't know that you had been shaving your legs.) And getting your viewpoint, and concerns, about what's happening is a good thing, too. It lets us get to know you as you, rather than you through Elizabeth.
Now, reading the post you put up today, it looks like Elizabeth and some of the same concerns. Since it looks like she's straighten that out...
Welcome! Give her a break when she asks for one, supplement her writings with yours.
Screw Bronze!
Raccoon
(it's been in the 80° range down here as well. Hallelujah, air-conditioning! I've also found that misting water & a fan can help. And I've heard of being wiped down with rubbing alcohol or vinegar, although I don't know how well either of those work.)
Dear Linda,
Thanks for trying again & for telling us what's really going on. I know it can be hard to express what happens on bad days - often I am silent about my bad times & what my days are really like. In fact my commentary on Elizabeth's blogs is one of the very few places I'm able to talk about those things. It can be even harder to do when you're talking about the person you love. I know it's difficult for my husband.
Elizabeth, I'm so sorry that you had such a bad day. We're having a heat wave here too. I hope it is cooler & that you're doing OK. Will be thinking of cool ocean breezes for you.
Sharon
Hey, we'll try again. Glad Beth gave you another chance (an exhausted AND pissed-off Beth? Whoa, run for cover! ;))
Sorry you were having a bad day. Hopefully, Victoria will return to its usual temps soon and you can tell us about all the fabulous relaxing things you're doing.
I'm looking forward to hearing your voice on the blog and glad of the chance to offer you hugs, cheers and support, as well.
Hey Linda, I read your first comment this morning and came back to comment this afternoon so I read both. I thought the first one wasn't fluff - it was just an introduction to you writing the blog. I, like the others here, want to encourage you and look forward to your 'spin' on the world. I know that if I could get Joe to write a blog, it would add a different perspective but he's not about to begin as a part time blogger. I was really sorry to hear that Saturday turned into such a trial - we had such a nice time. I'm still working on a blog about it - give me a day or two.
Linda -- I've been gone all day, so I didn't see what you had written earlier. I can't imagine what you must be going through. Thank you for keeping us updated, but please don't stress yourself out, either.
Beth -- I hope today was better for you. I got a little something for you that I will send along -- as soon as I get an email with your address and I make a little something for Linda.
*gentle hugs* or both of you
All right folks, my first set of comments. Had to put Beth out of her misery this morning and post these. Last night she asked several times whether I had posted them. See, she's still looking out for your intersts (smile!)
a bear in the woods: I'm so grateful for the people who follow Elizabeth's ups and downs through her blog. It really helps her feel like part of the community. Over the last few months I've been feeling like part of the community too. I read all of the comments people make.
perpetual beginner: We have a 6000 BTU portable air conditioner that we usually keep in the living room and sometimes move to the bedroom. Tomorrow I'm calling the owner of the building to get permission to buy a window A/C for the study (the rental contract says it's not allowed). He's been pretty good about stuff so hopefully it won't be a problem.
You're right - rawly honest - that's my partner. I gotta have tough skin some days when she points out my own able-bodiedism. LOL.
yanub: thanks for the encouragement. I think this blog community provides a very safe environment for sharing.
kathz: Sunday was a much better day. I think today, Monday, will be harder because she'll have more time on her own so will think more about her yucky appointments this week.
neil: Elizabeth was wearing a evaporative neck tie earlier in the day. Saturday was the first day that it was warm enough to use the vest. Since then we've already talked about wearing the vest outside to badminton and other warm places.
raccoon: Yes, Elizabeth and I talked about her weekends off before I made the grand announcement. She agreed in principle but we hadn't discussed in detail what I'd be talking about. We've had that conversation since then. One thing we decided was that doing some 'she said... she saids' would be neat.
sharonmv: I'm really glad you feel able to share your feelings on this blog. It can be healing, can't it?
lene: Run for cover indeed! You made me laugh - thanks.
dave: I'm really looking forward to reading your blog about the visit. I think Elizabeth was right when she said Joe and I would have alot to talk about. I can understand not wanting to blog though. It takes a lot of commitment and somedays I think as carers/partners we can get overcommitted.
dawn: thanks for the hugs. I'm sure Beth will email you our address.
Linda - you are always here, in this blog. Those of us who have come to know and care deeply about Elizabeth through her words here have also developed a relationship with you, both as the wonderful, loving, photography-obsessed person we learn about from Beth's stories and as the person who offers the unending physical support to Elizabeth that we know is so necessary but, due to the unique nature of internet friendship, most of us are not in a position to offer.
I don't know if you have your own blog somewhere (which would be quite fascinating...) or if this is your first foray into blogging, but I can imagine that stepping into this space that Elizabeth has created with all the dynamic force of her Elizabeth-ness must be a very tricky thing. I can't even express how moved I am, as someone with a disability who needs a lot of support from my partner, that you, knowing how important the blog is to Beth, are willing to step into the fray to try to give her some rest and relief without her being forced to compromise and just have no blog on certain days. That is a huge gift from you, Linda! (That makes me realize something: One of the most awesome gifts my partner can (and does) give me is the kind of support that makes it possible to not compromise on things that are really important to me, despite having CFS. It's very interesting to frame it that way.)
It seems like there are some behind-the-scenes negotiations about this whole Linda's-weekend-blogging thing that make it more complicated than straightforward, but I really hope that this works out to feel like a safe and helpful thing for both you and Elizabeth. I just wanted to validate your good intentions and tell you that, for my part part at least, you have always been a part of this Elizabeth-internet experience and I extend to you across the bandwidth the same support and care that I always bring when I come to visit Screw bronze.
Scrumptious: you're just one example of the wonderfully articulate people that make me feel so awkward when I write. You said exactly what I feel when I first read Linda's entry - but I couldn't express myself that well.
Linda: your "safe environmanet" comment to yanub goes two ways. So THANK YOU to both you and Beth for making ME feel safe in expressing my opinions. Because I have been so intensely shy for most of my life, it's very difficult for me to say what I really think, and I greatly appreciate the opportunity to practice with you two.
Hugs to both of you. Oh, and Beth? she's a good writer too, so relax and let her have her say again next weekend. Please?!?!
Oh, Linda, this all must be so hard for you. It's not my blog, but I say write whatever you want.
And I'll repeat what I said before: I fully support anything that allows you two to have more quality time together, however that works out. And also, I think you're a superhero.
xoxo
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