Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Questions asked, and fingers smelling of peanut

In the elevator going back to our apartment I asked Linda, post GP visit, “Am I less intellectually capable than I was two years ago?”

“Yes!” She said immediately.

I continued, “Now you don’t need to hold back for my feelings sake, tell me what you really think.”

That was actually my joke, however she went, “Well first, your vocabulary is becoming limited both in your ability to access it and…”

I held up a hand. Okay, don’t want the Full answer.

Our emergency GP visit included the GP making a list of test that needed to be done (from the MRI and nerve conduction data….immediately). He did say that he wished more of his clients were taught to self research medically from a very young age because as he said to me, “You have the capabilities to do more extensive research than I.” He seemed very excited about the possible B-12 link, which as I said, I brought him, “at a minimum for scientific elimination.” He (and I) are hoping for some scientific sounding disease he named which means I can’t convert B-12. Not converting means B-12 in me can’t create myelin. How much of my spine and limbs could recover if this IS the problem is unknown. And this doesn’t cover the heart or the postural hypertension or BP. But hey, an “almost hope.”

Minutes after coming home and getting put in “The Chair” I knocked over a book followed by a stereo speaker and then a drink, which spilled over EVERYTHING. Linda and I spent some time cleaning it up.

I asked, “Now be honest. Do I seem a bit more clumsy than I was a year ago……”

Linda glares from the floor where she is still cleaning up.

Anyway, I wanted to go back to that hour when Linda abducted me from my tests and drudgery a week ago to a time spent with friends (albeit small and hungry friends). Hope this cheers you up like it did (and does me). It isn’t always the medical, sometimes happiness comes from a squirrel lap dance and fingers smelling of peanuts. Music titled “Feel”


Lisa Harney said...

Well, I hope the B12 thing actually works out to at least some improvement. How would they get you to metabolise it if you can't normally?

Elizabeth McClung said...

Well, I was in the level of PA (acute B-12 deficiency) last april and have been taking B-12 1000 mg sublingually every couple days. Which SHOULD mean my level is 400. If it isn't, then my periferial nervous system is going cuckoo due to no B-12; which sadly is only partially reversable. Basically I would be getting B-12 injections directly into my muscle. So, how desperate am I, the needle phobia that I am ROOTING for the NEEDLE. Chances are that the B-12 will be fine, but the fact that no one ever did a follow up to check means that we need to....right now, in case the damage is increasing every day. It is just that the Canadian Neurology journal is full of cases, for example the first one was of a 30 year old woman paralyzed from waist down and in one arm; she had the same MRI result as I did. It was B-12 and 42 days of treatment later she had "limited" movement of her right leg. Like I said, a lot of "if"'s and "Maybe's" but hey, here's hoping!

cheryl g. said...

Yea squirrels!

Good for your GP for being positive about the research you do and for following up.

Lene Andersen said...

Ah, yes. The good old "don't ask a question until you're ready for both answers". I hate that. Must the woman be so honest?

Crossing everything about the B12. Everything.

Love the squirrel lapdances. And look at you with BARE ARMS! I cried a little, as I sat here in Toronto, where outside my window is a swirl of white.

em said...

Oh it was thrilling reading the B-12 possibility. I'm hoping...

FridaWrites said...

Good luck with the B-12. You're still really smart, regardless, smarter than most.

With the type of EMG testing you mentioned yesterday--that's what they do most of the time, if that's any relief. The possible second round with testing individual muscles I haven't heard of and sounds awful--my only question is whether it would change their treatment; if it wouldn't, is it necessary to do it to you?

Veralidaine said...

How many times have I told you- that black squirrel NEEDS to be in a nice fed ex box full of peanuts (both food and packing, wouldn't want him to bump his tail!) on his way to CO! I must have the charming Casanova squirrel!

On the medical front, I'm keeping fingers crossed for B-12 and some improvement.

Elizabeth McClung said...

Cheryl: Yah Squirrels! I was a little surprised when he complimented me and told him, hey, I'm NOT doing diagnostics, I just bring you the journal articles and test results.

Lene: Well, she could have at least hesitated a second to PRETEND to think about it.

About the bare arms, the ones with me wearing the blue hoodie and the bare arms are at the same time, it is about 4 C/40 F - so not much above freezing but I am VERY heat intolerant, particularly if I am wheeling myself (this was the day when half the people said, "I feel cold just looking at you"). Still, green grass and a sunny day!

Em: Yeah, odd how now I am HOPING for a BAD B-12 result, but sometimes bad CAN be good, I guess.

Frida: Yeah, me think better good. Haha. Yes, well, I imagine with four different muscle and nerve centres in my future I will have a lot of "And how exactly did they come up with THIS test?" reactions.

Veralidaine: Yeah, that black is pretty amazing, particularly at the end when he just goes past, runs up the wheel and his head pops out in my lap. Or the black that ran right under my footplate....silly, I have to see you to feed you. Well, I can take a box next time, maybe he will be happy to nest in there till arrives at your doorstep.

I'm up for any improvement....or drinking!

Perpetual Beginner said...

Crossing everything hoping for the chance to send you one of my favorite T-shirts: "I'm remyelinating, and it's getting on my nerves!"

FridaWrites said...

LOL, perpetual beginner.

Unfortunately that's the way my brain's been lately too, and my husband, who notices almost nothing, even noticed. Have no idea why. Whether or not I'm on pain meds makes no difference.

Michael said...

Loving the squirrels!

So, the B12... would that be a needle every day? Do you have any spots that have absolutely no sensation? Still, a hope.

40°F? Sorry, that's about 30° too cold for me for any length of time.

Are the squirrels letting you pet them now? Or are you just sneaking past their defenses?


Neil said...


Is lap dancing with squirrels legal? Is it moral?

It's certainly unfair to the viewer: I'm sitting here with snow on the ground and a forecast low of -31C. Where the hell is spring? Global warming s screwing with the seasons...

Lovely video, Beth. Thanks, and more zen hugs.

Elizabeth McClung said...

sorry,loss of finger fucntion, will post individual replies tonorrow

Elizabeth McClung said...

Perpetual Beginner: I have shamelessly ripped off that line and used it on anyone who could possibly get it - it is a great t-shirt (is that real?) - if you can't BE clever some times, steal from someone to appear so!

Frida: You are remylienating? How do you do that?

Michael/Raccoon: Yup every day, I have some spots but often it is the "idea" which makes me scream more than the reality - welcome to boring phobia land.

Oddly, it is "supposed" to be too cold for me becuase I have extreme HYPOthyroidism and am supposed to be cold and gain weight, except I overheat and lose weight (autonomic failure triumphs over hypothryoidism!). They almost let me pet them, but they do eat on my feet and in my lap.

Neil: anything that fun can't be moral is my opinion!

Yes, you can tell it is winter in Victoria because our grass in green instead of brown and dead! Yeah, how is it from El Nino to global warming, Sask never seems to turn into California?

Perpetual Beginner said...

Yep, it's a real T-shirt. The Center for Brain Research in Rochester, NY used to sell them as an MS fundraising effort. My family being invertebrate punsters (go ahead, slug us), leaped all over them. I will have to see if there are any left in deep closets.

alphabitch said...

love the video.

FridaWrites said...

No, I'm not remyelinating. What I meant was, and my comments were symptomatic, is that I have brain fog and difficulty accessing words, too. I can't pull up the words I need or speak or write the wrong ones. There's often a delay with thinking of names for common objects or even names of people I know well, and an entirely wrong word that doesn't apply pops out sometimes. Can't type complicated. I make lots of verbal mistakes.

tornwordo said...

Wow, B12, and hope springs voluminously forth. But mostly thank you for that video. I kept saying Serge Look the squirrels are right in her lap, Look! He claims that could happen here too, but I've never seen it. Anyway, it made me happy.

FridaWrites said...

I mean I can't talk, I mean type (damn!) complicated words. Uh oh, time to talk to dr...