Thursday, March 20, 2008

Beth acts immature, acts 17 and gets BUSTED!

Today is “Beth is in Trouble!” day.

All because I did one little thing last night I didn’t want Linda to know about and got BUSTED today. Well, plus I am typing this one handed because a) I have been too busy to get Dragon 9 to a useful state instead of repeatedly yelling, “scratch that” due to time lag before seeing my entire document disappear. And b) because I JAMMED my finger bad at boxing showing a move to someone. Isn’t that the way of it, you try to be the coach and you end up the idiot.

First, what did I do last night? Well, I had been looking on Hot Topic at this lush gothic white dress with tulle and a train which Linda says, “Will make someone a great Grad dress.” And I think, will me a rockin’ wheelchair goth dress (particularly if I splash the front with blood).

It was from the super-expensive Lip Service and was half price (or half price of half price). And while I was lying in bed during my afternoon nap I remembered that Linda LEFT OUT her credit card by the computer in order that I could feel “secure” if I needed to get something "essential" (like medial supplies). She thinks this means I WON’T buy things. So, about 12:30 am, I start thinking about that dress. And thinking about how my Manga ended up selling for more than $300 over my highest expectations and yes, it is all for Japan BUT: what is one little $47 dress on super sale going to matter? I, of course, ignored Linda earlier comments (and others comments) that such a dress would be sucked into my wheels in a flash, because this was about the gothic fantasy, of clubbing and somehow, someway, showing up at Starbucks in THAT dress. So I ordered it.

Except I didn’t send it to our address in Canada, I sent it to Cheryl (Free shipping within the USA) who visits us and who I joking sent an email with a link to the dress when I first saw it saying that having THAT dress show up at her Ranger Station in the Olympic Park in HER name would really give people new images of her (she dresses kinda…….practical). She said, “Hey, let them have new images of me, but that dress will get sucked into your wheels and you are on planet fantasy” (something like that). Which to me was translated into “Yeah, send it to me, I'll hold it for you…blah, blah, blah, blah.”

But then, once the dress was in the cart, there was this one LITTLE hoodie which had it’s own arm warmers and since I was ALREADY buying the dress I NEEDED to get this quite affordable hoodie (with free arm warmers) in order to get the free shipping. Actually I got another hoodie and some more things but when I saw the total I deleted a lot because, a) I was going to have to tell Linda at SOME point, and b) the extra money WAS for Japan after all, I was just taking a little. And so I put through the order, which should show up at Cheryl’s office in a few days (Now this WILL change your image, hee hee) if you want to see Cheryl look back a few posts to see Cheryl, M. and I in a row under the cherry blossoms.

Only, I wake up this morning to an email saying, “Hi, this is Hot Topic, we need for the card holder to call us to verify this order that was made last night.”

AHHHH! See, I hadn’t gotten to the part of telling Linda I was buying the dress she said would be “useless,” along with “are you getting married” and a few other choice sarky lines (she didn’t see the potential a splash of blood could do to the front of that dress). I hadn't actually gotten around the PLAN of how I was going to tell her.

But better tell her than let her find out by email so I had to call her, and tell her what happened that I was forwarding the email. I was cringing while I was telling her but she just said, “okay.” I guess you get used to me doing stupid but not TOO expensive stupid things late at night (if you leave your credit card out to make me feel better – and it DID, right until the email came the next morning). On the plus side, this stupid night thing didn't end me at the police station (like OTHER nights).

And yes, I know this sounds like I am 17. But, now, since she was going to call them, I kind of needed to mention the hoodie I added to the cart AND that I MIGHT have gotten a lace long sleeve shrug too. But there was a VERY good reason for that! The shrugs I got LAST year to go with my corsets are Lip Service but heavy cotton, and so for when we go to clubs to dance (which we havn't in 08), in the wheelchair, I am MORE heat intolerant now and will need something sheer. See, see, it was VERY logical buying.
Thankfully, Linda actually thought the shrug was a good idea since we keep saying “We should go out to a club and do some dancing” but we never do (because we are always planning and researching for Japan). So now we have another reason to go clubbing when we get back. That’s how I sold it anyway. Oh God, if only they had taken paypal, I never would have been found out.....till they arrived at Cheryl’s desk. Which reminds me, I REALLY need to send Cheryl an email and soon.

I am sure there is a lesson in there for me, but all I can keep thinking is: I got my dress! I got a hoodie! Woo hoo! So probably need to be grounded.

As for the rest of the day, let’s say that, my shower and dressing person came for only half the time. But she still managed to give me a near hospital trip when I transferred off the toilet after she left and the toilet was full of an oily white liquid that I couldn’t see though and I am thinking, “OMG! I think one of my organs ruptured, maybe a kidney?” And then I remembered I asked her to dump the ice cream from the dying fridge in the toilet. She obviously had not flushed it. I obviously had not looked down when I transferred onto the toilet and so thought I was peeing melted vanilla swirl. Still, a panicked minute.

As for boxing, after jamming my finger, I tried to keep going with my right arm by doing elbow strikes and managed to hit MYSELF in the mouth and have a swollen lip. I have also found that while I may not have micro function or nerve function in two of the fingers in that hand, I have pain sensation in THAT finger. Which means I can’t use the hand (swollen finger, very painful). And I discovered that I had compensated for the loss of micro function and limited macro function by doing everything with two hands, sort of combining the best of both hands. Only I didn’t know this till I tried to come home and get undressed much less pick up a drink or do any other tasks. So, since I can’t wheel with one hand (well, not in a MANUAL wheelchair), I will be housebound tomorrow. That is until Linda told me I have an eyebrow threading and leg waxing appointment in the morning. I do? Oh God, how am I going to do a car transfer with one arm and hand? Guess I will find out tomorrow.

I don’t really expect any sympathy as both the late night buying AND the boxing accidents are things I got into myself, so I will figure out how to get out of them too (sell some of my DVD sets?). I just thought it might amuse you to realize that I seem to have a lot of rebellious (And moronic) teen left in me. As Linda came to kiss me good night, I said, “I’m doing the blog.”

“And how are you going to get your contacts out?” she whispered in my ear.

I said louder, “I’m doing my blog!” And she went off laughing. See the level of compassion around here.

12 comments:

cheryl g said...

Hahahahahahaha... sis you are incorrigible!

I can't wait to hear M's comments when the package arrives and I show her.

Ouch on the injuries. Did you make sure the finger's not partially dislocated or broken? Time to ice it.

Is it level of compassion or just that Linda knows you so well?

Neil said...

Konnichiwa!

And happy springtime. Yeah, that's it, it was spring fever (or squirrel fever??) that made you need the dress. And yes, it is a lovely dress, but how ARE you going to keep it out of your wheels? And I hope the (fake?) blood will wash out; I'll admit I'm not fond of blood as a non-Halloween fashion accessory.

It got up to +3 in darkest Sask yesterday. Then it snowed a bit. But at least it's spring.

Hey, Beth, you're a literate sort: what's your opinion of an 11-yr-old (mine) who's reading Terry Pratchett, has devoured ALL the Harry Potter books at least twice each, and is partway through Coupland's book JPod? He also enjoyed parts of Tanya Huff's "Blood Trail" so he can't be all bad, can he?

Gaina said...

Are you sure you haven't broken that finger? It sounds pretty mashed.

Oh well, at least you won't be able to press the 'add to cart' button for a few days!

Haha sorry, couldn't resist ;-)

yanub said...

Naughty girl, spending your darling's hard earned money on flights of fancy. Yet is human life but a flight of fancy? If we didn't indulge our fantasies from time to time, we may as well be squirrels. And even then, we'd likely have vague ideas that maybe somewhere, sometime, there might be someone out there in a wheelchair with a lap full of peanuts.

Of course, if we were squirrels, we wouldn't have access to credit cards.

Raccoon said...

Oh you naughty, naughty girl!

Mama Linda needs to slap your hands! Sneaking into her purse and spending her credit card (okay, she left the credit card out. Go with me on this!)

Very nice outfits, but I have to agree with Neil: I hope the blood washes out.

Speaking of... Neil, try him on Tom Holt (Expecting Someone Taller) and Christopher Moore. They are both fantasy with a humorous bent. For more on the Potter side of things, try Diane Duane.

Tom P. said...

Hot Topic! I have to laugh because that is my Beth's favorite store too.

Here is a picture of her.

Give Linda a hug. I know what fun it is to be a loving caregiver. ;)

Neil said...

Raccoon:

I've put "Earth Air Fire and Custard" on hold at the local library. Thanks for the recommendation. We'll hold off on Christopher Moore.

Beth: I hope the finger's feeling better.

Hugs to both of you and the squirrels. Now I run off to bed to get up and work tomorrow.

Elizabeth McClung said...

YEah, Linda knows me too well, but better to go a LITTLE wild than save it up and go crazy - I'm sorry and will reply individually in the morning. Just kind of.......whew!

Elizabeth McClung said...

Actually, Giana, the add to cart joke was pretty good!

Dawn Allenbach said...

You're grounded.

How did I go from sister to mother?

Elizabeth McClung said...

Cheryl: yeah, I can't wait to hear M's comments either. And Linda is just SO loving that she lets me know that she knows all my future pain, and is laughing!

Neil: Konnichiwa to you too!

Like many things, it is the "Dress of Dreams", once it comes, then a way will be found!

Sask, sounds very sad right now, but it was freezing here two days after as well, if that is comfort?

Well: I would say that there there are authors, like Diana Wynne Jones who comes to mind, who has done the Potter stuff for 20 years, so I recommend, Archer's Goon, Witch Week and Fire and Hemlock from her, Also Jan Mark with Pack of Lies, also Fade by Cormier, Orson Scott Card (particularly enders game and the quartet from there), I am also a fan of Connie Willis but that might be a bit older (try Lincoln's dreams as it is her thinnest), the classics like the Heinlien for Juvenile's - short story compliations, also the Mars series by Bradbury, and personally I think The collected works of Sherlock Holmes by Conan Doyle is fab (but then my parents gave it to me at 7 - I was a little 'out there' too). The short stories are very good, if it is a good temperment match. I will try to think of some of the other 'great' fiction - Looking for Alaska by John Green, Boy Proof by Cecil Castellucci - the last two have male/female protagonists, if that is a problem I can find male only protagonists. It is just I don't want him to miss the genius of juv. fiction - which is to approach the universal questions in as tight a writing style and story as possible.

Elizabeth McClung said...

Giana: it was pretty mashed and is black now but isn't broken, thank goodness, just won't be doing something like that again.

haha - I bought some manga last night - so there!

Yanub: the thing is to "go crazy" and still only spend $100 - so linda knows even when blue I don't "go crazy, crazy - just limited crazy!" For some reason, banks don't think I am a good source of credit anymore? Odd that.

Raccoon - I was naughty, and I got caught and I'm SURE this time I've learned my lesson - well until after Japan and a few week anyway.

Raccoon who wrote the fantasy dectective series about the guy who failed out of being a magician in a sword and socery world?

Tom P: Your daughter looks great - and her corset and skirt match perfectly, she is just smart enough to know not to take the "good" coat out where it will get sludged and then when she hangs up the coat she is co-or-dinated.

Okay, I will - Linda is a loving caregiver.

Dawn: Yup, stayed in all day today, didn't have fun at all. Though about how fun it will be when package arrives though!