The Victoria Library has decided to select a writer-in-residence and, wait for it, pay them $3000 a month to write (number of months unknown). Obviously with an opportunity like this, I honed up my CV, polished my reprints on articles of animal rights, disability, and sex (I have also been paid for fiction and poetry, if that can be imagined). Only it turns out that the Victoria Library has decided to determine this ala Big Brother.
Unfortunately that doesn’t mean you get to watch me compose sonatas in the shower on live TV. It means that the position seems dependent on Voting. Rather a unique way to find someone to fit the job but hey, I can groove with the flow. So, here I am, cap in hand asking that if you want me to read your writing, or give classes on writing (I have taught both at University of Cardiff and did an independent series on writing for LGBT authors) but, lets be honest, get PAID to write, then PLEASE click here. You will need to nominate me, Elizabeth McClung (of Victoria, BC), and give a brief reason why I would be good for the library of Victoria.
As surreal as it is that this job seems to be similar to being voted Prom Queen, this actually is my best chance to get a job which will work around my disability. So can you please vote, and tell others to vote and (I never said this) rig the voting. The voting closes Sunday, so please vote soon. And if I could just suggest, under “Why are you nominating this author?” here are some of the BAD answers (like don't copy and paste these!):
1) She’s paying me!
2) I’ve seen her half naked pictures on-line a LOT.
3) I stalk her, and now I know where she’ll be more often.
4) I’m her ex-lover but we’re friends now.
5) She swears a lot and talks about sex, cool!
6) She scares me, please make her stay away.
7) She’s sleeping on my couch and I REALLY need her to find a job and move out.
8) She be Better, good Writer, fer! teachin me, Lot o stuff, and, I Want her: to Help other peeple!!
9) I've been following her career since I called in and listened to her talking dirty to me during her phone sex days.
10) She seems to hate people, and a lot of famous writers are like that.
And how about this, for every person who votes (for me) and posts to say they have, they can ask me a personal question and I will answer it (if legally allowed). Sorry, I don’t have the job yet so information is the only bribe I have to offer.
5 hours ago