Well, what to talk about on Valentine’s Day? Certainly not the origins of Valentine's which are seen in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar as Mark Anthony ran through the streets lashing women with a whip made from a bull scrotum for fertility (and to proclaim Caesar as God). Oh those good old Lupercalia days!
I, on my way to boxing had to pass though a hall of guys playing shirts v. skins. It was worse than the shudders of summer, seeing the running rugs of chest and back undulating and jiggling and they ran down the court shouting “Over here Brad!” So a definate no on bringing back the naked men. But that is probably my orienation talking
I got a load of manga delivered to me this Valentines (Which Linda and I are celebrating Friday I think); all the good Yuri Titles like First Sister as well as my Yaoi titles (Yuri is girl/girl romance, Yaoi is boy/boy romance but all are considered Shojo meaning “Books for girls” not Shonen meaning “Books for boys”). If you are in doubt, open the pages and see, are there giant boobs and a LOT of panty shots.....? Then those are Shonen books (for Boys), also the guys will look square jawed. If you open it up and aren’t quite sure which are the boys and which are the girls, all willowy with long hair and you can only tell by the school uniform......that is Shojo.
Manga and Home Care do not always mix, as for example I had an “oxygen training session” in my flat and while people where waiting some workers picked up a pile of manga I had accidentally left. Sure, not very respectful but they were going, “Oh, how cute.” And I had my eyes bug out and said, “Could you bring those here…right now!” In a firm voice because what one woman had was a book which advertised lesbian/yuri themes but turned out to be Shonen (accidents in ordering can happen, alas!). So yeah, huge breasted girls who get caught up in their clothes in changing rooms and trip and fall into their friend’s huge breasts. Not exactly what I wanted my workers to think of as my main literary interests (which are girls holding hands and kissing behind the library).
Then today, having a shower and the worker was, “Oh manga, I’ve heard of that, cool, you have to write down some titles for me.” She picked a book at random.
I said (naked at the time), “Ah, that’s Yaoi, do you know what that means?” Blank look, I continued, “It is a romance book, but is about two guys.”
I get odd stare at book and then at ME.
“Actually in Japan and Asia, 70% of the romances sold are now Yaoi.”
She looks harder at the book. Starts to open it. It is one of the 18+ rated books I imported and has well, too many sex scene for ME (I like the flirting and romance and humor and kissing but no need for lots of pages and pages of explicit male/male sex.....but that’s just me, a lot of women, the more explicit the better). So, here I have a couple seconds to decide, let her open it, what if it is an explicit sex scene and then she looks at me (still naked, still needing to be showered)? So I kind of said, “That one isn’t really a good one to start with.” Her hand unerringly goes toward a Yaoi I haven’t even finished reading because I’ve yet to find much of a plot BETWEEN so many sex scenes. So I distracted her by telling her there was Yuri, how there are girl/girl romances.
“They print those too?”
The tone of voice didn’t seem to be one that was helping things, so I got her away from super-sex Yaoi book and showed her a book from the library for teens. “Here is one that is shojo for girls and it is a boy/girl romance, they do those too!” (Yeah…they do, you just don’t find a LOT of them in my apartment). So she leafed through that and I sighed in relief. Ironically, the library, which I don’t think knows ANYTHING about manga ordered some YAOI and put it in the teen section. Some actually rather racy Yaoi. After a few months (and after I borrowed them), they disappeared, either because a) Some librarian actually looked inside what they had put in the teen section or (more likely), b) they have not been returned and are making some 15-17 year old VERY happy with well worn pages.
So, I guess I will have the manga sale soon (for the money for Japan) and then my house will be free of Yaoi (not the Yuri, I am keeping that), until…I bring a bunch of REALLY explicit stuff back from Japan. Just kidding, I just am not that into penis, no matter how romantically portrayed and femme the guy. Okay, well that sentence just lit up a few “work safe” lights (sorry). I do however find penis jokes in Yaoi to be funny as the Uke (the younger guy on the bottom) towards the end of the book finally is able to accept his feelings, they agree to sex, the other guy drops his pants, the “bit” is blanked out and all we see is the panicked look on the Uke’s face and the “No Way!” before he faints (lot of fainting guys in Yaoi).
I guess this isn’t so much the Valintines day blog as the “Beth is a big perv” blog. On that note, I am concerned because I usually get a bit of eyebrow threading done every couple months but being so tired and so many tests, I wonder, “Do I have the Frau Brow?” This is what occupies my mind, along with wondering if I can get the home care to shave my legs (they shave my pits!).
I was also a little disturbed by this new care giver who showered me (my regular person was sick). My regular person has a policy, bum and Area 51 is yours and I do the rest. While today the worker, who was very good in communicating, would say, “I’m spreading your legs now to rinse up there!” And I am thinking, “Oh, I know!” And I can’t remember the last time someone other than Linda did this and I’m really not sure how I should feel about it? I mean, there is showering, and there is clinical and then there is the massage water wand pulsing water up and down over your clit as a person you met 20 minutes ago is spreading your legs for you.
So if you are in home care and have a policy on that, let me know. Because I have a hard time being, er, objective. I’m not aroused so much as....well disturbed and receiving sensate from my shower wand.