Sunday, January 20, 2008

The monday panty shot, plus badminton and raining blood (a happy post!)

I had a pretty funky weekend but that’s not going to stop this being a FUN post. Yeah, pain and function problems, and yeah, some of it was me intentionally pushing the envelope to find out that, gee, I’m still disabled and I’m still required to be mature and be the one taking responsibility for my own health because no one is going to do it for me. Like I said, sometimes I am a slow learner. I don’t know why I have these “Wait, this is a dream right? I was in competition last year, this can’t be my life, right......right?” episodes but since 30 minutes of stupid activity ends up with 3 hours in immediate peril and 36 hours of pain, I kinda wish I stopped this denial self-destruction activity and replaced it with destruction of the disability system activity instead.

Well, that seems like a great introduction on why exactly I am putting up a picture of me in my leopard print panties (thong string!) I bought two weeks ago in Seattle. Actually it is because Zephyr (from Arthritic Young Thing) and I think Ms. Pet (from Sexability) asked me to. Linda did the framing and said (as the budding disability sexuality photojournalist) “sometimes less IS more. Err...okay, Linda. Panties by Victoria Secret, top from Lip Service and red skull lap blanket made by Linda.

Ha....I hope that was coffee for ya’ll, a Monday morning wake up!

I did go and do something constructive this weekend which was play badminton on Sunday (thank you opiates!). But before I get to that I need to give a thank you kiss (with tongue) to the editors at Arsenal Press (my publishers) who checked up on me after many, many, many months and found out that I was sick. So they sent me a Japanese card wishing a) for better health and b) that I send them another of my novels. They also sent me a book from Japan of Junko Mizuno’s manga/anime illustrations called Hell Babies which is the real updated First Edition: she joins cute manga/anime looks with twisted demented tenderness (so yeah, EXACTLY my kind of book).
Did I mention that there are also a lot of boobies in this book, maybe that is why it is printed by Pan Erotica? Linda immediately opens the book and asks, “Why has that anime girl got so many snakes coming out of her vagina?”

My first thought is, “How does Linda do this, every book and she finds the snakes coming out of the vagina pic?” My response is, “So that men may be very, very (and rightly) scared of us.” followed with, “Look at the caption, it is Miss Alice Cooper!” Anyway, I was trying to get her “enthused” so after a lot of flipping through, I said, “What about this picture, it is like us having a picnic: there you are with your DD’s and me with my A/B’s cups (and a scary butcher knife)”

Linda says in an ‘ick’ voice, “It is raining BLOOD.”

“Yeah, but a nice picnic besides that...and see, we have matching panties!” (Linda is giving me 'that look' your mother gives you while you explain why getting a piercing is a good idea).

I have not given up hope, I show her two pictures, “What do you think of this to represent me? I like this one: look, she has long hair, and I like long hair, and thong, which I like, and roses (and flames).”

“She’s cutting herself.” Linda says in this accusatory tone.
I give her my best puppy, ‘aw you can’t help but love me look’, “Yeah, that’s what makes it so ME.”

“No! I want the other picture, the one where she is playing tennis, that’s you!”

I look at the picture, “But Linda, she’s playing with a contact explosive device.”

Linda stands firm, “She’s cute and she has red hair.”

“I also think she has blood splatter on her cheek.”
“That’s the one that represents you! Cute, playing sports!” (She had already nixed one I liked with a girl covered in scars with an eyepatch and a butcher knife) So, that’s me, only in a wheelchair, all cute and innocent with red hair (and blood splatter).

Anyway it is a fun book and I think I should say (for my publisher's sake), if you have a LOT of money, please buy something from Ansenal, like my book Zed new (otherwise do what I tell everyone else and get it from the library or buy it used).

So, I was barely able to move today and my limbs were doing odd twitchy things so I took some pain pills and went up to play badminton. Since no one wanted to play with the girl in the wheelchair, the Y guy, Keith (red shirt...but he didn't die?) helped me on serves and other technique and then we took on these two guys in a doubles competition.
I have to say I like badminton, mostly because I seem eerily good at it. Like, people say I am already better than some of the regular players, and this is my second attempt (maybe that is because I don’t have to move?). Anyway, Keith was really good at running around and covering my back. I can’t do the smashes but with badminton, the farther the birdy falls, the slower it goes so I play a lot of strategy.
One of the things I like about myself as a competitor is that my opponents can never tell how I feel after I miss a shot (or have it go out), I am really good at hiding my body language (not!).
Actually this picture is also so people can see how much I am losing weight, and that I am getting thin; I mean, I a non athlete; where are my bulked up man-shoulders and scary muscle definition? What scares me is that if I still have muscle and look like this, what happens if I get weaker?

Oh well, another topic for another day, this is a blog about doing fun stuff just because; so I made a music video (under two minutes) of highlights from our bout. Sorry about youtube, it is a little mushy but you can tell where the birdy is, and when I miss because a) I miss and b) I slump over or throw a little tantrum in my chair. You have to watch the video to see if our team won or lost.
Of course, after that I didn’t want to go home but played another doubles game. By this time I am out of Gatorade and Linda is saying, “We should go NOW” in this very unsubtle way. I however am high on playing and being on a TEAM where I get to talk to players, like in REAL TIME. I haven’t had this much human contact for a LONG TIME.

So when Linda turns away to pack up I slip into another doubles set with this guy who likes to smash a LOT. Unfortunately it seems 50/50% if he gets the smash or not so while I like getting the points it seemed like it was up to me to keep the ball in play until either he smashed into the net or for a point. After the 7th or 8th smash into the net I was a bit like, “How about something other than a smash?” But this is not something you say to a guy over 6 feet tall who is trying to impress his girlfriend (on the other team) and a little testosterone high. So we lost, 13-15, but I got a few aces and almost flipped over backward to get a hit. It was a good game and I am looking forward to next week. I was not however looking forward to Linda’s face as I rolled off the floor. I could tell where she was by this black cloud hoving in the air.

She wheeled me home because I had lost some speech and other function. At home, 20 minutes later, the pain pills wore off and I was literally huddled in a fetal position moaning and making little screams. Linda, comes over and says, “I hate to tell you so, but I TOLD YOU SO, maybe you will listen next time!” So I got a little lecture about limits (hey, if you can still speak and see a bit, you can keep playing right?), and then my pain pill. I know she is concerned about me and yes, it probably is very irritating to tell your partner “if we don’t go now, you are going to overdo it” and then they ignore you and an hour later and rocking helpless making animal moaning noises. But….but….people, people who wanted to play badminton with me, and talk to me and gave me high fives and “good shot” and all that sports stuff. That is addicting when compared to the rest of my week which is: “Yo, fill out these forms, yeah, I’m talking you: Disability Meat.” No one tells me how “amazing” I am then, I can tell you.

Tomorrow I am trapped indoors as they are ripping up the hallway carpet (and elevator access) on my floor. So tonight I look at naughty anime pics and the video again of what has been the best (albeit heavily medicated) 90 minutes of my week.

Find the joy and stick with it, and leave the pain seek you out and find you, because trust me, it will (my disability lesson of the week – I am the lesbian, kinky Mr. Rodgers).


tornwordo said...

I liked the victory pose. Oops that's a spoiler isn't it. I was very amused by your repartee with linda and the anime book.

ms bond said...

Wow...I love badminton but hadn't dreamed...thank you for the idea. I'm glad you had fun. I'm sorry fun resulted in pain. And are losing weight. But you still look very strong and athletic. Just wanted to reassure you on that point.

Marla said...

maizie is hogging my lap top since she has had the flu. How should I disinfect it?!:)so.... I am reading on my i phone which is better than nothing. I am glad you were able to get out and have some fun!

I keep meaning to thank you for mentioning my blog on your very good bbc article. I appreciate it very much.

Gaina said...

See now, if you're gonna put phrases like 'panty shots' in your link section, that's going to get you attention from people.

Heh, did I sound like Linda with my 'sensible head' on there?

I love the blanket she made, very pretty.

Those books remind me of 'Happy Tree Friends', which I'm a fan of :D.

Veralidaine said...

I agree with Ms Bond- you look like an athlete to me!

Donimo said...

Omigod, those Hell Babies are so twisted and hot! And nice music for your video. And the panties. My, what a drama-filled post! You pack a punch, you do.

I certainly relate to paying for the joy. I've had pain for over 25 years and have pushed and pushed. Sometimes, the pain after an activity has been worth it and sometimes not. Sometimes, I didn't realize I was going too far until afterwards when I was smacked down for days with horrible pain. Or the time I went on a ride at the PNE that went 120 km's per hour and whips back and forth. It was exhilarating and the view (320 feet up) when the thing stopped was fab. The G-forces felt great. but two months in physio for whiplash? I might not do that again.

And by the way, I have had pain for a long time and I STILL can't believe it's real, somehow. My pain has worsened over the years, so I've had new adjustments to make and activities that I've had to let go of... but it's still very unreal to me that I can't rock climb or water ski or ride a motorcycle 250 kilometers and hour. Disbelief just might be a constant companion. Taking care of oneself despite this disbelief is the challenge!

alphabitch said...

the video is great! thanks for posting it, and of course the picture of your thong panties -- I mean, the picture of Linda's lovely handcrafted skull blanket. Nice work, Linda!

Liz said...

Hott!! Badmintony muscles, grin, & thong!

Wait, I'm confused, you're disabled and you... you have FUN?

Don't they take away your special parking spot when that happens?


Lisa Harney said...

I hear you about the human interaction.

That anime book is cute. Cute and disturbing, but cute!

Elizabeth McClung said...

Tornwordo: Yeah, I like victory poses too! Not that I am competitive at ALL. Well, that repartee was pretty much what goes on here all the time (except when Linda occasionally laughs at my sick jokes) so I hope to post more 'amusements' for you another day.

Ms. Bond - yeah, I don't know if you have a manual wheelchar but if you can see, I have wrapped up my wrist in a tension bandage to stop the problem of muscle sprain tears and that works pretty well. Also, the guy runs around and feel masculine and I move my arm around and feel useful - so win/win.

Thanks, it is just that EVERYONE is saying, "Oh look at those cheekbones" or "You are losing so much weight" that I feel like I am regressing somehow and eventually I will reach some sort of reverse puberty and have not itty bitty titties but 'really itty bitty titties' and 10 year old arms.

Marla: AW, you missed all the cool pics! But I hope Maizie is better soon and I am glad I had fun to, though I wasn't this morning (till I took my pain pills). I am glad I mentioned you, but thanks for the feedback, I hope other people learn as much as I continue to do.

Gaina: Yes, well, I could use a few normal hetero guys to turn down for once. I actually used that lap blanket today in going out - no worry on anyone claiming it is theirs, mine is very...distinctive. I like happy tree friends too, only this book is sexy! Which I didn't find about animal tree friends because.....they were animals?

Veralidaine - thanks, I can use the encouragement! I will keep trying and giving it my all for the limited times it is safe for me to do so! Wow, what a mouthful for "I'm going for it!"

Domino: Great! Thanks, please tell Zephyr and Ms. Pet I did the pic for them, so they better drop by! I wanted to give a monday "happy day" post because if your day was like mine, I needed to find the happy.

The PNE story scared the crap out of Linda - so I don't think we are going there next year. The problem with the whole envelope is that the body doesn't HAVE this red light that comes on when you exceed your limits and if you ARE having fun, and how rare that is, it is so easy to be seduced into "just a little bit more"

(I finally got to put ABBA in a video! Woo hoo!)

Linda also said at your last sentence about taking care: "Yeah, that's what you need to remember Elizabeth, read that sentence AGAIN." (hee hee - I must drive her to distraction).

Alphabitch: thanks, I know it is hard to see the birdy in the video but you can tell by how we act how things are going I hope. I guess Linda is right and less is more - but it is a REALLY cool blanket

Liz: Yeah, I must of missed the "you are disabled and in pain, please keep to these rules and remember to be miserable at all times" meeting - I mean, I am miserable 90% of the time but I am sure the disability police will be issuing me a ticket soon. As for the thong, that's going out to Lene, who said she didn't have disability sexy role models - so hey, my stand for disability rights: the right to wear leopard print VS panties and be disabled!

Lisa: Yeah, I'm sorry if things are a bit silent around you. I do get sucked into anything where people are "norming" me: like, "Yours! Hey, good hit!" instead of "Need a hand across the street....golly you're so plucky!"

Lisa Harney said...

It's partly my own fault for not going out more, partly my fault for living somewhere where I need transportation to go anywhere and not having my own, and partly my housemates' fault for practically requiring applications filled in triplicate to go to the grocery store with them when they need to go shopping as well.

Darn. It.

I also hear the "norming" thing, although I don't deal with people othering me quite as often.

Zephyr said...

ooh la la!

I actually think I have the same panties. What are the odds?

Elizabeth McClung said...

Zephyr: You have the socks I lust after and the panties I just bought.....that's it, I'm coming to check out YOUR closet and wardrobe!