Well, that seems like a great introduction on why exactly I am putting up a picture of me in my leopard print panties (thong string!) I bought two weeks ago in Seattle. Actually it is because Zephyr (from Arthritic Young Thing) and I think Ms. Pet (from Sexability) asked me to. Linda did the framing and said (as the budding disability sexuality photojournalist) “sometimes less IS more. Err...okay, Linda. Panties by Victoria Secret, top from Lip Service and red skull lap blanket made by Linda.
Ha....I hope that was coffee for ya’ll, a Monday morning wake up!
I did go and do something constructive this weekend which was play badminton on Sunday (thank you opiates!). But before I get to that I need to give a thank you kiss (with tongue) to the editors at Arsenal Press (my publishers) who checked up on me after many, many, many months and found out that I was sick. So they sent me a Japanese card wishing a) for better health and b) that I send them another of my novels. They also sent me a book from Japan of Junko Mizuno’s manga/anime illustrations called Hell Babies which is the real updated First Edition: she joins cute manga/anime looks with twisted demented tenderness (so yeah, EXACTLY my kind of book).
Did I mention that there are also a lot of boobies in this book, maybe that is why it is printed by Pan Erotica? Linda immediately opens the book and asks, “Why has that anime girl got so many snakes coming out of her vagina?”
My first thought is, “How does Linda do this, every book and she finds the snakes coming out of the vagina pic?” My response is, “So that men may be very, very (and rightly) scared of us.” followed with, “Look at the caption, it is Miss Alice Cooper!” Anyway, I was trying to get her “enthused” so after a lot of flipping through, I said, “What about this picture, it is like us having a picnic: there you are with your DD’s and me with my A/B’s cups (and a scary butcher knife)”
Linda says in an ‘ick’ voice, “It is raining BLOOD.”
“Yeah, but a nice picnic besides that...and see, we have matching panties!” (Linda is giving me 'that look' your mother gives you while you explain why getting a piercing is a good idea).
I have not given up hope, I show her two pictures, “What do you think of this to represent me? I like this one: look, she has long hair, and I like long hair, and thong, which I like, and roses (and flames).”
“She’s cutting herself.” Linda says in this accusatory tone.
I give her my best puppy, ‘aw you can’t help but love me look’, “Yeah, that’s what makes it so ME.”
“No! I want the other picture, the one where she is playing tennis, that’s you!”
I look at the picture, “But Linda, she’s playing with a contact explosive device.”
Linda stands firm, “She’s cute and she has red hair.”
“I also think she has blood splatter on her cheek.”
“That’s the one that represents you! Cute, playing sports!” (She had already nixed one I liked with a girl covered in scars with an eyepatch and a butcher knife) So, that’s me, only in a wheelchair, all cute and innocent with red hair (and blood splatter).
Anyway it is a fun book and I think I should say (for my publisher's sake), if you have a LOT of money, please buy something from Ansenal, like my book Zed new (otherwise do what I tell everyone else and get it from the library or buy it used).
So, I was barely able to move today and my limbs were doing odd twitchy things so I took some pain pills and went up to play badminton. Since no one wanted to play with the girl in the wheelchair, the Y guy, Keith (red shirt...but he didn't die?) helped me on serves and other technique and then we took on these two guys in a doubles competition.
I have to say I like badminton, mostly because I seem eerily good at it. Like, people say I am already better than some of the regular players, and this is my second attempt (maybe that is because I don’t have to move?). Anyway, Keith was really good at running around and covering my back. I can’t do the smashes but with badminton, the farther the birdy falls, the slower it goes so I play a lot of strategy.
One of the things I like about myself as a competitor is that my opponents can never tell how I feel after I miss a shot (or have it go out), I am really good at hiding my body language (not!).
Actually this picture is also so people can see how much I am losing weight, and that I am getting thin; I mean, I look...like a non athlete; where are my bulked up man-shoulders and scary muscle definition? What scares me is that if I still have muscle and look like this, what happens if I get weaker?
Oh well, another topic for another day, this is a blog about doing fun stuff just because; so I made a music video (under two minutes) of highlights from our bout. Sorry about youtube, it is a little mushy but you can tell where the birdy is, and when I miss because a) I miss and b) I slump over or throw a little tantrum in my chair. You have to watch the video to see if our team won or lost.
Of course, after that I didn’t want to go home but played another doubles game. By this time I am out of Gatorade and Linda is saying, “We should go NOW” in this very unsubtle way. I however am high on playing and being on a TEAM where I get to talk to players, like in REAL TIME. I haven’t had this much human contact for a LONG TIME.
So when Linda turns away to pack up I slip into another doubles set with this guy who likes to smash a LOT. Unfortunately it seems 50/50% if he gets the smash or not so while I like getting the points it seemed like it was up to me to keep the ball in play until either he smashed into the net or for a point. After the 7th or 8th smash into the net I was a bit like, “How about something other than a smash?” But this is not something you say to a guy over 6 feet tall who is trying to impress his girlfriend (on the other team) and a little testosterone high. So we lost, 13-15, but I got a few aces and almost flipped over backward to get a hit. It was a good game and I am looking forward to next week. I was not however looking forward to Linda’s face as I rolled off the floor. I could tell where she was by this black cloud hoving in the air.
She wheeled me home because I had lost some speech and other function. At home, 20 minutes later, the pain pills wore off and I was literally huddled in a fetal position moaning and making little screams. Linda, comes over and says, “I hate to tell you so, but I TOLD YOU SO, maybe you will listen next time!” So I got a little lecture about limits (hey, if you can still speak and see a bit, you can keep playing right?), and then my pain pill. I know she is concerned about me and yes, it probably is very irritating to tell your partner “if we don’t go now, you are going to overdo it” and then they ignore you and an hour later and rocking helpless making animal moaning noises. But….but….people, people who wanted to play badminton with me, and talk to me and gave me high fives and “good shot” and all that sports stuff. That is addicting when compared to the rest of my week which is: “Yo, fill out these forms, yeah, I’m talking you: Disability Meat.” No one tells me how “amazing” I am then, I can tell you.
Tomorrow I am trapped indoors as they are ripping up the hallway carpet (and elevator access) on my floor. So tonight I look at naughty anime pics and the video again of what has been the best (albeit heavily medicated) 90 minutes of my week.
Find the joy and stick with it, and leave the pain seek you out and find you, because trust me, it will (my disability lesson of the week – I am the lesbian, kinky Mr. Rodgers).