Saturday, January 05, 2008

I mule for Linda and we buy corsets, and bikini underwear

I am on our annual trek down to Seattle to raid the post, post Xmas sales (you know the 50% off the final price kind of sales). Usually we can only buy $600 of stuff becuase the Canadian dollar is so pathetic (we can only buy $800 of Canadian value goods for 48 hours away: rules by Customs), but this year, after only about 30 years, it is at or above par with the US dollar. So I guess that means we can buy more? Dunno, it is like the logic of saying, "We saved $376!" instead of "We bought $142 of underwear."

But Linda is the one who is getting ALL the stuff and I am the one who is carrying it around. Like at Tall Girl, I got 1 item of $20 while Linda got 7 things including jean jacket, black jeans, etc. She even got a Tripp Corset from Torrid, the company that does Hot Topic suppliers for people who have breasts larger than your average 16 year old girl. I however got a red spider web corset at Hot Topic today for $11! Any day I get a corset covered with red spiders and spiderwebs for $11 is a "Woo Hoo!" day. We have a van and hit one of Victoria Secret sales last night and the downtown location today. Linda goes for sleepwear - getting a three piece, including a hoodie she can wear as sportswear for $22, I on the other hand need new sports tops for my "active lifestyle" (please insert laughter here). So no matter where we went, Linda gets more than I; at Old Navy Linda got ALL the stuff and I just did the, "That looks great!" and "Do you want people to only stare at your boobs? No....maybe not that one then." and "Errr.....well if anyone can carry off puce, it is you!" And then I carry the bags on lap, under the wheelchair, off bits on the back. I figure it is a good deal. Linda gets new clothes and feels the 'power of new clothes' at work and I get Linda doing caregiving for the other 363 days a year. Super deal, for me!

But right now I feel like I have been run over many, many times. Plus last night had to change rooms twice: first room was next to a bus stop and had a violin player practicing endlessly (not kidding), second room had a cello player practicing endlessly (still not kidding), decided to not shower and sleep instead so got a non wheelchair shower and found a room with no one playing for 8 hours and I could nap. The bad news was at 2:38 a.m. I was woken to hear a woman crying out in what I thought was pain, "Ah! Ah! Ah!" This was accompanied by a slamming noise and a vibration against our wall. I was in a panic, yelping, "She's being hurt, she's being hurt! We have to act!" Linda calmed me down and explained that this wasn't the noise of a woman abused but actually the sounds of heterosexual sex. Really? Should she sound in pain that much? Anyway, that is what I listened to from 2:38 am until 2:45 or so when the banging (of the bed against the wall) hit a wham-wham-wham cresendo. There was a "Thank God!" from our bed as hey, screw your brains out up to midnight but at 2:30 a.m.?

Linda says this is a sign that we need to have sex more often. "Not if I sound like that!" was my retort. Also it turns out that there is something called a "playoff game" for some mystery event right here in Seattle called "Football." This event has had men shouting out randomly at each other all day.

Hey, I had to wait in line 25 minutes for a change room at Victoria Secret but we didn't go around the street greeting women with "Semi annual VS sale, woot!" shouts and arm pumping. Anyway, after Victoria Secret (the second sale) Linda looked up and said, "That's 14 pair of underwear." and then smiled a very contented smile. I can't say I get THAT much pleasure, but I did pick up some bikini ones including....wait for it.....leopard print.

Will be back in Victoria tomorrow. See ya then. (sorry for any spelling mistakes - this computer at the hotel didn't have spell check)


Zephyr said...

Leopard print panties? I demand a photo! (of you in them, of course)

Dave Hingsburger said...

just so as you know, I just nominated you for two awards ... the Canadian Blog Awards are coming up soon ... I nominated you in two categories ... best blog and best lgbt blog. Here's hoping you take home the gold because ... screw bronze.

Marla said...

"Semi annual VS sale, woot!" shouts and arm pumping." I love it!!!! Sounds like you are having a great time despite being kept up late! Too funny though. Have fun!

Tom P. said...

I took my daughter and her friends to the mall on Sunday so they could sneak into see "Sweeny Todd". Between the four of them, there were three corsets with plaid mini-skirts, and one corset dress. They all wore odd tights. My daughter's tights were black and white stripes (which went great with the purple plaid corset dress. Two girls were wearing fairy wings. They were all heavily made up with eye-liner, of course. Their nails were done in semi-random colors. Beth was wearing these very tall boots (not spiked heels but the whole sole was raised really high). The girls love dressing up like this cause it's fun but also because security follows them around in fear that they intend on doing something horrible like destroy the morals of America's youth.

Elizabeth McClung said...

Zephyr: but of course! I just need to get a day where I don't have doctor's appointments (Came back to a dental appointment- joy!)

Dave: How odd because I nominated YOU in three different catagories....I just wish I could remember which - I am sure best activist was one of them - and you really do deserve it. I also emailed them about why they can have all these catagories but not have one for 1 in 7 - disability blog - giving several examples - they said, "They just didn't think of it but it was TOO late to add it"

Marla: Yeah, VS sale Woot! And I got panties that have Victoria Secret all over them too as well as the rather UNSUBTLE ones with cherries on them including one right in front of the vagina.

Tom P: How is Sweeny Todd? I can see why they wanted to get in, I can bet your daughter's friends are good friends with Hot Topic! I could have picked up a plaid mini skirt for $15 there but the "threatening" aspect changes somewhat when you are sitting down (in a wheelchair) and also requires far too much waxing maintanance for me - I am glad they are having fun overthrowing the establishment, one stomper/club boot, torn tights, and mini skirt at a time. I do have to wonder though - Is wearing fairy wings to sneak into a film such a good idea?

Ms. Pet said...

*whine* I'm sooooo jealous! And I want to see the photos too. *pause* I'm having some problems with the government and disability. They are forcing me to apply for medical EI, prove that I am too sick to work, (I'm on Disability Benefits II for goddess sakes! I've already proved that!)) and basically causing me alot of stress.

Zephyr and I would like to come visit you this month. Even if it's just for a day or two, but money is tight and stress is high. We need to know when is a good time, if you're up to it, etc. I need to make plans, and come over and see you befor my money is gone. Please email me.