“What did your fortune read?”
She read: “Soon your kindness will be rewarded at work.” She looked at the paper I was holding, “What does your say?”
I handed the paper over, “You read it.”
She read it. “Oh.”
“It’s the Fortune Cookie of Death.” I said.
“Um…maybe you could look at it another way.” Linda tried to cheer me up.
“What other way! It is what doctor’s tell you. Hello! How more explicit can it be? Why is it you get, “kind, reward at work” and I get, “You will die!”
“It doesn’t say that exactly.”
“Close enough” (the fortune cookie is here: tell me, who would make this as a fortune?)
Needless to say we are not getting Chinese next time.
In better news I received a mystery gift in the post: My home care worker with the pierced tongue was here and I shouted for her to quick, quick bring some scissors so could I open it I suspected what might be inside!).
I pulled it out in all its magnificence. “What is it?” the home care worker asked.
“It’s my vibrator bag!” I stated proudly.
“Cool, I want one!” she said, “I can’t believe someone actually MADE you a vibrator bag.
The back had some buttons on it. One read, “I have animal magnetism: when I go outside squirrels stick to my clothes.” And another read: “Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.”
My home care worker said, “Someone REALLY knows you.”
I just grinned and chortled. The bag is by Sara of Moving Right Along and I know she sells crafts so if you need a handy and stylish vibrator bag for keeping them organized and out of sight of home care OR for handy travel trips, I would talk to her. It is not subtle or something your mother would approve of, another two big pluses in my mind (kind of just says to the customs agents ‘open me, I dare ya!’).
I am keeping on in getting to the meetings, another one tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. which is terribly important and could determine my care for the next year. Which means I can only swear under my breath.
Today I went to Triumph, the disability employment assistance something (the government pays them to get people with disabilities OFF of disability by getting a job – but they seem to freak a bit with people who have, like, serious physical disabilities). I had to do 10 pages of paperwork and sign all these sheets which included a sheet that I had been instructed what to do during a fire (exit the fire exit and wait at the meeting point which it happens, is the second oldest cemetery in Victoria). I asked, with the center director in the room. “Um, is the fire exit wheelchair accessible?” There was about 90 seconds of silence before the director said, “No, no it isn’t.” Then I signed to say I had been completely informed of fire safety regulation.
Errr....the director and eventually the head director of the entire region were called into the room because I wouldn’t sign the forms. There were a host of reasons.
Reason 1: On the confidentiality page there was no guarantee that my confidential medical information would not be passed between members of Triumph who were not directly involved with my case. The director of the center said, “But it already has been passed on to different members; the person who checked it from intake, the person who inputted it into the computer, the person who evaluated it for your case manager…” She pulled back and did the government speak, “Triumph is entirely a voluntary program and if you are unhappy with how things are being done you are free to leave at any time.” Oh yeah, that might have scared me nine months ago the first time I heard that implied threat.
I countered with, “Well, passing on confidential medical information is illegal, whether you have already done it or NOT, and the fact that I am here voluntary has nothing to do with that.” (an additional line was added in by the director to hold each member of Triumph personally responsible for maintaining confidentiality).
Then there was the line: At Triumph you will be not discriminated on age, race, gender, sexual orientation or religion. I know the list because it is the list of human rights which can be prosecuted by police in the province of B.C. They wanted to know why I wouldn’t sign. “You need to add ‘disability’ to the list. It needs to read that I won’t be discriminated on the basis of my disability at Triumph.” The director of the center looked at the region director so I said, “You ARE an organization to assist those with disabilities right?” Apparently no one had thought to add it (and I was the only person in over a year of their existance to notice). At that point they changed my case manager to M. who is “more experience with people with physical disabilities.”
She knew me, I liked her, I grilled her anyway. Well actually I was grilling the regional director on how or could Triumph could apply for the Federal Opportunity Fund so I could get a grant to write a book on the first year in a wheelchair. There were stammers from the director. M. said, “What about blah blah fund.”
I looked at her, “Never heard of it.” To me this is a GOOD thing, the reason I came to these people it the first place.
“Oh, they are a good source of money for grants like that.” YES!
When the two directors left the room she asked in a whisper, “Do you have a crap computer?” a pause, “Cause I can get you a better one…for free.”
Suddenly I was like M. a LOT MORE. Particularly when she told me that she would get me a copy of Dragon Voice by Friday so I can keep up with all these people who email me by talking while I have to respond by typing with one hand. Only down side...I have to fill in 14 MORE pages of paperwork to take back to them by Friday (that is TWICE the amount in order to be listed as a Person with Disability at the Federal level in Canada.....just mentioning.)
So exhausted and still have many, many meetings but it turns out being ornary sometimes gets rewarded by getting the person who actually knows how the pimp the system instead of waving the row of medical trucks to roll over you.
Still not sure exactly what I am supposed to do in case of a fire if I am there. Die I guess?