Well, the Xmas wasteland is upon us. Either that or I am a crap writer since my comments went from 16 a day to three. My guess is that everyone is busy doing whatever it is that people who keep Xmas do – which from the way people seem to be moaning this week, can’t be all that fun. It honestly sounds like the annual “bad sex with the ex while drunk.” Which I guess makes me question why so many people do it year after year if you aren’t having fun. I mean I know there are those who have FUN at Xmas – they are the ones who start decorating in October and have Santa’s Elves fighting the Pirates of the Caribbean on their rooftop. Then there are the people who manage to do craft things, which is why I refer to these as “crafty” people; not just for their ability to make something but to make something which takes a fair wack of time without us noticing.
My least favorite crafty person is someone I know who does cross-stitch. Let me tell you, cross-stitch is a bitch; I decided to do a cross-stitch on a train trip across Canada: five full days. I think out of the entire fruit basket shown in the pictures, I finished a grape. So when THIS particular person pulls out a framed cross stitch the size of my flatscreen monitor with a hideous bible scripture on it (all that effort for ONE scripture and she has to pick II Kings 2:23 where children are eaten by bears for calling a prophet ‘baldy’?). Then says, “Oh, this is just something you might like to hang in the bathroom or kitchen, I have so MANY of them already” with the implication that it took her two days instead of five freaking months. If you can do a cross stitch the size of my flatscreen in two days then I say there be demons in you and we must CAST THEM OUT!
See, normally I would worry, acting all batshit like that over a simple craft turned bible verse (isn’t EVERY craft eventually turned to bible verses?) except see, we are a week from Xmas so, hell no one is reading this anyway.
I would say I haven’t had a good day but I’ve said that so often it loses impact. How about, this morning, I had NO commitments for this week and NOW, I still have a couple hours of work to do, I have to do work all day tomorrow and the rest of the week. PLUS for some reason I can’t quite understand a woman who visited me today thinks I am making her husband the Xmas present SHE is planning on giving him (have I mentioned I am NOT ‘crafty’). Which would be great except , a) She hadn’t told me what I am making him exactly b) she hasn’t given me the materials and c) Just because I’m housebound doesn’t actually mean I have LOTS of energy, rather the opposite in fact. All I know is that if I don’t deliver….whatever it is I might sometime soon find out that I am supposed to make, I, Elizabeth McClung, will have ruined Xmas….and I don’t even KEEP Xmas. So yeah, no pressure here.
Ironically, as chaotic and nonsensical the preceding paragraphs are; that actually represents today and what is going on in my life. How fucked up is that. Or how about this; I have decided to stage an orgy in the non-wheelchair accessible zone on my street as a protest. I need to find some people who like to “org” at near freezing temperatures first I guess. Actually that was just a lie because the only people who are visiting my blog this week are sex driven loners, if the google searches are any indication.
On that note, I feel there is nothing better to drive out my Xmas demons and bring in the spirit of the season but lots and lots and lots of lesbian kisses, lesbians kissing, naked lesbians, whatever. So here is a nice Yuri Video about what all of us (meaning me) want for Christmas; a) life like it is in the anime world where I transform as either an assassin or with magical girl powers which involve clothes and ribbons that defy gravity b) big breasts and c) lots of girl on girl kissing.
2 hours ago