Linda reminded me it was a three day weekend this morning by…..still being around when I woke up.
“Three day weekend?” I asked in puzzlement.
“Yes,” she replied, “so people don’t have to go to work today.”
“Work?” I asked in puzzlement.
Anyway, in Canada it is “Remembrance Day” and in the US, just to prove they are an independent break-away colony that doesn’t follow anyone’s lead, it is “Memorial Day.” Over here they fire of guns at 11:11 on the 11th, which I was about to say is what might have woke us up today only I realized it was the 12th today (and so I would look a right arse if I wrote that where everyone could see). In the UK, they don’t have the day off at all, I am not sure why, but I think it probably has to do with Margaret Thatcher. The way they tell it in Britian, everything odd or repressive is because of Thatcher: “Back inna day..” The guy at the pub will tell you, “if ‘they’ heard you saying that you thought the coal miners hard done, then they’d drive a TANK over your house.....that was Thatcher.” Then they usually cry and talk about how they’ll miss her and how small third world countries used to fear the UK because while the US went to war over oil, human rights and world peace; the UK went to war over an island of sheep. Any leader who is willing to do that might do absolutely anything (since it was also the only country other than the US to have an aircraft carrier….a very SMALL aircraft carrier but one nonetheless).
I really don’t want to talk about remembrance day because a) I am WAY too depressed today already and b) since most people don’t even know why it is on November 11th or which war it is referring to I seriously doubt, with the genocide’s which occur annually somewhere in the world, that the general population can even conceive of a day, much less a world, where you DON’T go to war. Bah! Humbug! See, now I am all irascible (yes it is a real word….go look it up!).
This is also the last day before my bandages on my gum and jaw surgery comes off, and it is pulling on my gums something fierce. Kind of like your little brother giving you a twisty on the arm (where you twist one hand one way and one hand the other) ALL DAY LONG. And this morning Linda decided to make us a smoothy. Which was nice except it was a “chunky” that had all the smooth running of hentz ketchup. She handed me my pills, I upend the glass and then I am like, chewing my way into the smoothy, with my pills choking me at the back of my throat. (at this point I am sure everyone is appalled at my UNGRATEFUL ATTITIDE toward Linda).
I put it down and demanded from Linda: “Go drink a pill with your smoothy!”
She said, “I haven’t drunk it yet.”
“Go drink down a pill with it!”
“Are you saying I should add some milk?” She asked.
“DRINK A PILL!”
She went over and picked up the glass while I was already enjoying the gagging and choking scenarios in my fourth grade/child like brain. She drank, or tried to and finally put it down and said, “That is a bit thick.”
“Did you try and take a pill…..did you? Did you?”
“No,” she said, “I had my pills when I woke up this morning with water.”
“Cheater!” I was totally obsessed by this, “Go take another pill!”
She of course refused and at some point I left elementary school and had the rest of breakfast. I just thought you should know why Linda often works so late. And why she tries to get me out of the house more often around ADULTS. I think I am getting the “mommy” syndrome where the mother is home with the small child so long she starts using words like “poo-poo” and “boo-boo” and while everyone talks about some late night TV show she chimes in about Spongepants. I am at home with the various parts of my brain which are given free license to go wild in reinterpreting reality. So now my nine year old trickster self, my 15 year old pouty self and my 30 year old, “I am a strong independent mature woman…who sleeps with stuffed animals” self are all so integrated together none of us is sure who is speaking when anymore. I am not sure if this is some medical version of cabin fever or if I am just having fun!
Anyway, some part of me has to go now because my home care worker is here and I have decided to tell them that I want my entire lunch to be….animal crackers. Oh, that is going to be so sweet, a zoo for lunch!
1 day ago