But THIS particular post is about how I motivate to drag my perfectly shaped ass to my computer every day. Or to put it bluntly, this post is about YOU. Yup, if it wasn’t for the comments and the people who come to this blog and for example, put up with this last week's completely depressing read, I couldn’t keep going. Don't worry, I’m a realist, I know that most people think, “Hmmm....wonder what Elizabeth is doing?” And then they pop in and go, “Oh crap, she’s moaning about the medical system again. When is she going to let that one go and take more pictures of squirrels?” and go to see someone a bit less depressing. And that’s OKAY. This month has had some good writing pieces and some things I wrote at 24 minutes to midnight; so examples of NOT my best writing. But I kept writing. And YOU kept coming, and sometimes you commented and I commented and then you disagreed with my comment and I felt connected. So this is a round about, complaining way, of saying THANK YOU. I’ve made it over half way through this month and I couldn’t have done it without you.
So tonight I am dedicating a video to you; the readers, those who leave comments, those who send me email, Linda and anyone wandering by. This is from the anime Air which is about a blonde girl named Misuzu who doesn’t have a lot of real life, meet-in-the-flesh kind of friends (I am relating to this story already). She also has a “condition” which is slowly killing her, and a mother who is scared to get close to her in case that she ends up loving and losing her. Misuzu meets a guy, Yukito, who is hired to take her to school and back and the more she knows and connects to Yukito, the faster her sickness grows (Isn't that just TYPICAL!).
But there are times when she isn’t sick and she does stuff, like try to catch fish in the river, but then there are the times she is, and she is in pain, and can’t sleep and can’t get out of bed and all that those who love her can do is watch and hold on. But in the end, the people around Misuzu take up the slack for the times she can’t be the bright, wide-eyed wonder child that she is. Even when she is wheelchair bound and people are trying to put on their “come on, be happy” face, just the fact that they are there makes a difference. They learn that Misuzu body and “condition” dictate when she can go out, and that even in the worst of times there will be moments; minutes, hours that shine with joy. No, not of normality, because the greatest joy is found in the moments we steal; when we turn on a light and pretend that the sunshine has finally broken through.
The music video below is called, Keep Holding On, to the music of Avril Lavigne: “I’ll take your hand/when it gets cold/and it feels like the end/there’s no place to go/you know I won’t give in.”
I take my encouragement where I can, and I take it gratefully. But you should know, I’m not giving up; not ever; not in ANY aspect of my life. If you want, there is another video I still like about the anime Air and I posted about it back in April 2007 and I watched it during my first months of diagnosis to keep going. It is here, set to the music, You are Loved by Josh Groban. That was back in the days when I was going to tear up this town, back when I made terminal jokes and people still laughed. Of course, I AM going to tear up this town in a flash of kink wear wheelchair babe action, it is just I am taking a.......breather right now. Anyway, watch the vid, cause it’s the only way I know how to thank YOU, and like a small child, I really, really want to see you unwrap the present.