The good news is that I have made enough money selling boy love/yaoi manga to buy vibrators. The bad news is that our apartment is Capital Meltdown. Let’s see; I’ve passed out a few times in the last 24 hours; my GP thinks I need to go the US to see an autonomic function failure specialist (does anyone have a couple thousand just lying around like Richie Rich – I loved that comic!). Linda is supposed to be sleeping because she is teaching a new class tomorrow; only the two people who were supposed to do the work while she was away on training….didn’t. So she started writing the manual at 9:30 pm tonight. Ohhhh so much fun around here.
The place we are buying our vibrators from won’t accept payment from a Canadian credit card but will take paypal. And last week I got myself ill by putting on a couple ebay lots of my boy love/yaoi manga working all day (don’t cry: I have TONS of boy love/yaoi, girl love/yuri and gender bender manga left). I wanted $200 but I got $195 which is enough to get the vibrators we want and leave me with money left over to buy a corset I have been lusting for. I know that yesterday, and today and tomorrow is all anguish and all that “oh no, I’m dying” mental crap but right now: ooooh vibrators! And look, they are in pretty colours (and come with free lubricant!).
Actually I had to be talked down last night because the info overload and loss of control got me all old testament and I was trying to trade with God: me for two people with lupus (don’t worry, I won’t embarrass you by naming who I was for). It just seemed that God would take the deal if I did the blood sacrifice NOW, before I had a even more decay on me.
What, that doesn't make perfect sense? Okay, I realize I have no control over my life so I try to start bullying God around and then two people with sucky conditions are cured (It made a LOT more sense at 2am to 3:30). Then somehow that turned into how God needed a “sign” which for some reason was selling my body on down on Government street. So I woke Linda up and asked her where sex workers sell themselves this time of night (like SHE would know?). She was groggy and didn’t seem to follow my logic (in the light of day I am not sure I follow the logic but rest assured my HEART was in the right place – the little problem is that I NEEDED to do sex work to get a sign from God so I could then open up my veins and let the blood out.) Linda meanwhile thought I was trying to save two sex workers with Lupus and telling me they were probably home in bed by now. While I was going, “No, I need to be a sex worker and THEN I will save the people with Lupus” I'd like to say we’ve all had late night conversions like that, but I know we haven’t.
Linda convinced me that “in the morning” she would help me make a deal with God for the two women with Lupus and I could make the sacrifice then. May I point out here that I hadn’t taken any pills. The experience went like this: I learned a lot, and what I learned implied that I had even less choice about how long I have to live. And in the morning I would be meeting with a doctor and then later a specialist and if they said I wasn't to get treatment or get to try different meds then I wouldn’t. So I was realizing that a person who prided themselves “in control” was now having their quality of life and even how long they get to live determined by other people (and sometimes not very nice people either!). Then I realized that friends I have (maybe friends I haven’t actually met in person), would be in the same situation, would be having chronic conditions they suffer from and the same loss of control. That seemed very intolerable to me and SOMETHING had to be done. And so I came up with a solution (this is NOT The Plan by the way) but rather a very 2 a.m. sort of solution.
So now it is day and I know that we don’t need the devil, since we have bureaucrats, and medical bureaucrats to boot. And I know that a champion fights the battles in front of her; she doesn’t go off on wild grail quests (since they tend to come and find YOU out).So I went wiggy for a while but I am back. That’s totally allowed for Champions. Besides, today I made enough money for VIBRATORS and dealt with two tons of crap....what did you do?
7 hours ago