Thank you everyone for the comments to make me feel not alone at the hospital. It worked. Okay quick summary of the last few days: pain, drugs, sleeping, more pain, fear, talking sex with a straight woman, pain, difficulty breathing, crying, more pain, drugs for sleeping, finding strange bruises on my arms.
So boring old human condition stuff and nothing particularly blog worthy. I am a month into having no GP, and two weeks after the government paid home care company announced it was quitting. So whether anyone will show up for a shift is a bit of a lotto. The managers stated that I shouldn’t be getting information on other patients or on the company itself yet they call up my number and ask to speak to the person caring for me. Then they try to browbeat the person into taking another shift for another client later in the day. So....am I supposed to wheel myself out of hearing distance of my own phone? The care givers are already sending out applications to other agencies, so I expect it will get worse as time goes on. The company already said they “don’t have the technology” to let me know who is coming by email. That’s reassuring, so 1980's. So we asked for a schedule by fax. Nothing yet. I guess I will continue down the technology tree until I ask for my schedule scrawled with a bit of charcoal on a napkin?
On the bright side…..um, I had a dream where I was being hunted by guys with guns. No, I do have good news. First, I got my order of goth clothes including an autumn hoodie in purple and black lace by Lip Service decorated with little winged skulls. I will try and get a pic of me in it to post tomorrow (Assuming it isn’t raining AGAIN!). I got some goth tops and earrings of different animals in skeletons, like kittens. Nothing is as nice as NEW CLOTHES.
Second, I am recovering enough to do the Breast Cancer 5K this Sunday. I have waited all summer to do this 5K. Earlier, when I was stronger there were 5K’s and 7K’s I thought I could do but they were non wheelchair accessible (sections over gravel trails). Then I got weaker. Then my right shoulder and arm was all messed up for a month. But now I am back on target to do this 5K; pretty much the last of the season. And let’s face it, it way more interesting to do the Breast Cancer fundraiser than, for example, the Intestinal Parasite 5K.
Much of this last week has been very up and down both physically and emotionally and I have decided that if there is any chance of me surviving the winter without ending up in the big blue funk then I need a plan, or a lot of plans. So I am going to be trying to come up with a list of lots of different goals to try and do so that the day to day doldrums, pain, disappointment and getting dumped upon from a great height don’t consume me. I have come up with one so far: learn an wheelchair possible circus art (high wire wheelchairing? Wheelchair Trapeze?). If you have any ideas, let me know – I’m pretty open right now to suggestion. I also have a strong desire to occupy the health minister’s office as a protest to not having disability rights. The fact I haven’t been arrested for protesting in a city full of apathy makes me a bit ashamed of myself. Someone who moved here from Europe told me: Canadians act very nice and polite, but often, they aren’t very nice at all. I thought that was pretty accurate. Linda calls it the $1000 rule – because government agencies have to have their budgets match within $1000, so all decisions are made based on “will this risk us to go overbudget?” instead of “Does this person need help?” Or individuals worry “Will I be held responsible for this?” I don’t know why many Canadians hate taking personal responsibility but they do, at least on this coast.
In total trivia; a straight woman has told me that men orgasm very quickly – “1 minute, 2 minutes, 5 minutes.” It seems hard to believe this is what guys can spend days and months working toward: 2 minutes to orgasm. Is this the average? I am sure there are porn stars that take 42 hours, but I am looking for an insight into straight sex (or gay male sex), so if you have been keeping or collecting data, please post!
22 hours ago