After two weeks of overcast, the sun shone yesterday so I suggest to Linda that we head to the park to feed the squirrels. Squirrels are the best type of friends (bought ones). It is pretty simple: if you have a peanut, you are the total focus of the squirrel (in a “gimme that!” way). When the peanut is eaten the squirrel comes back (“More! Now!”). It is the true casual sex sort of relationship (except we don’t actually have sex); when I want some attention, and the squirrel wants a peanut, we have tryst on the green. We both leave satisfied. There is a little music video (like 30 seconds or so) showing our squirrelly, squirrelly love (and one shot of when love goes wrong: one party gets a bit too demanding).
We went back through the ‘the village’ (“I’m the only Crip in the Village!”), where to my pleasure the woman came up and asked, “Did you end up renting House of 1000 Corpses?” (I was going through a zombie movie week). Usually people know Linda, so it was cool that I was the person who people recognized and wanted to talk to. (On a total side note, to the 30 people a week who come here on the google search “Zombie Sex” - this is the last time I am going to tell you: THERE ARE NO ZOMBIES. That’s just movie land, and really, do you WANT to have sex with a rotting body who only wants to eat your brain? On second thought, don’t answer that.)
Today I took Handydart, the local “Special” bus, which does door to door for wheelchairs. Handydart drivers are not actually Victoria Transit Bus drivers (though Victoria Transit for publicity pretends they are), they are subcontracted employees who are paid a significant percentage less per an hour than other bus drivers. Great message they are sending about disability huh? The experience isn’t very anonymous like taking the public bus since some guy spends five minutes strapping you in so after bonding you end up talking. On the way out, the guy next to me was in a power chair after he had a stroke at a red light. He would ask me a question and then say, “Don’t lose hope.” Which might have been sort of encouraging the first five or six times but after 40 straights minutes of “So this happens EVERY day?” (Pause) “Don’t lose hope.” It became a huge downer. Plus the driver would chip in every few minutes with “Doctor’s are idiots.” Though the driver really got a kick out me calling the MS society “The Mafia” and kept repeating it.
About “The Mafia”, I don’t have a MS bias (hey I might have it), it is just in this town, the MS society has more power than most government agencies. To give you an example, they a huge building which runs programs every day; If you have MS, you get free Physio in this town, if you don’t you pay $50 an hour. I couldn’t get the Island Health Authority to give me the time of day, I talked to ONE nurse at the MS building on the phone who said, “That’s not right” and within three days I had: home care, a case manager, an OT, wheelchair bars, a social worker and a health assessment. Tell me that doesn’t sound like getting the attention of someone “made.” (“Oh…you know Joey Luca? We gonna treat you right!”)
On the ride back I had “retro” driver who kept saying things like “Yeah, it’s not so bad driving for you handicapped folks.” He somehow managed to use the word “handicapped” at least 10 times in a 20 minute ride. So points down for that. But he swore....a lot. So points up for that. See, in Britian, people who swear are either drunk or have “lost it,” while in Canada people who swear are people who are passionately paying attention. So when a driver says, “Those fucking sons of bitches really need to redesign these shit-can wheelchair holders.” I feel he honestly cares about something to do with my well being. I also feel that he might have spent some summers working construction.
I had to return a DVD, and my bod was feeling pretty punk (in the almost crying level of pain punk). So I did what we all do: I listened to my MP3 player. So I was pumping the wheels to trance music AND crying in pain. You do what it takes.
I got up “the big hill” listening to Groove Trance’s song, The End. I even passed some pedestrians. The video is below, which has a lesbian robbers in love story which makes no sense to the song, but hey, lesbians! I was getting into the lyrics which Linda said she expected me to make my own music video about.
Only faith helps you, only grace can do
Only you can take the pain
Cause the end of peace is the end of life
and the end of any happiness
Just watch the vid and remember, “Don’t lose hope” Hahahahahaha!