Some say life is a rollercoaster. I think my rollercoaster is one of those with a giant drop followed by upside down corkscrews which makes you hurl.
Thursday morning I was super drugged up (40 mg of valium) preparing to get a whole bunch of blood tests done. I knew it was 30+. This was at a new lab and I was a little nervous (like biting the head off anyone who came near me for the last 24 hours nervous). Linda got me lying down on this huge furniture piece of wood with a cushioned top, and drawers all the way down and along. The lab tech/nurse came in. She knew I had needle phobia. I meanwhile was testing the bar screwed into the wall since the last time I had started pounding the wall and with the needle being inside me for so long, I thought I might have “issues”. In my tension I pushed the whole unit weighing a couple hundred pounds about six inches with my arm. I think that made the tech look at me different (like, “Call for the nets and tranquilizer gun” ala Wild Kingdom different).
Let’s cut it short and say it got done. How exactly I am not sure but she filled 14 vials of blood. Afterward, so high as a kite, I was not only slurring my words but when Linda tried to transfer me back to the wheelchair I was more intent on giving her hickeys. And in between that I was face planting into her breasts. I think the tech said something about a “big baby” but only until she realized that what was drawing me to hang all over Linda wasn’t a need for the maternal exactly (why does my libido go up so high when I am drugged?). Transferring someone while they try to give you a hickey on the neck is no easy feat.
At home, I slept, then went down to the video store where, like a person with absolutely no inhibition, I got ALL the DVD’s that looked interesting (literally 15 DVD’s). I only stopped because I ran out of money.
Then I went back to sleep.
That night, Linda and I got dressed and went out to celebrate 14 years together. Linda would not help me dress as I wanted (some comment about getting there before the restaurant closed) so I did a “goth lite” with the bare essentials. At the Italian restaurant there was a wedding party in another room who was serenaded by a staff member. I asked if they did anniversaries. Next thing you know there is this lush Italian-Canadian mezzo soprano singing an operatic German love song to us with great presentation (“years in musical theatre” she told us later). Canada has it’s issues, defaults, hang-ups, deficiencies and problems but hey, where else do you get opera and a free cake when you tell the staff you are celebrating your same sex anniversary instead of the manager telling you “No touching, this is a family restaurant.”
I’m not going to say what went on when we got home except to say that it put me in the hospital. Well, maybe that was a coincidence. Let’s say that night was a bright light in a VERY bleak week. And that by the next afternoon I would be “rescued”, I would wake up in a strange hospital and be admitted to ER. Bad news: I urinated myself and was left in my wet jeans for the entire time. Good news: The EMT crew didn’t want their blankets back.
I’ll try to tell you about that adventure tomorrow. I just wanted to let you know that I am still around, not kicking exactly, but complaining enough to be a pain in the tuckus.
One preview, I told the head nurse that I had been getting some crap from a couple EMT guys (like whispering insults in my ear when I couldn’t move or speak). She asked some details. She wanted to know everything blow by blow. I told her about my being unable to speak but they put a pen and paper in my hand. Surrounded by four (was it six) EMT guys dragging me off yet again to who knows where (since I was barely conscious). One nice ER guy kept asking me, “What is the problem? What is your number one compliant?” I slowly drew on the page. E.....M.....T......S.
The head nurse covered her face and had to leave my curtained area she was laughing so hard. “They would not like that.” She told me.
Wow...I am almost feeling bad....wait.....nope...sorry. The feeling went away.
1 day ago