Wednesday, June 06, 2007

People act as if I will explode and shower goo on them. Why?

I am spending most of my time currently either in medical places or bed, or on oxygen or on the phone trying to set up activities. It may seem ironic to some that I am propped up on oxygen calling around to see who is willing to teach me a martial art, but not to me. As it happened, I was too weak, sick and had continuous arm tremors to do indoor rock climbing yesterday (suck!). When I called to cancel and promised to pay anyway the gym was like “well, don’t let it happen again!” Don’t let it happen again? It’s not like I can sacrifice a chicken and “presto” a good afternoon. Though it turns out that the company that sells me oxygen also sells Entonox which is a mix of oxygen and nitrous oxide (laughing gas) so I get pain killer AND oxygen. If I can get a prescription for this, I might be able to sleep better and almost make any bad afternoon a good one. Also I bet I could find a lot more friends and get invited to a lot more parties when word gets out I have the “happy gas” machine.

I am having a Catch 22 where no one will let me do anything (including I was told today, the Disabled Sailing program) unless I have a note from my doctor saying everything will be okay. This is because I have a HEART CONDITION. And apparently people with heart conditions are a bit like people with the black death, no one wants to get too close. The problem is that without a specific diagnosis (which looks to be coming sometime between 2008-2011), no doctor is going to say, “Elizabeth will have no problems doing xxxxx.” Because no one knows. But as I pointed out to the sailing program, right now, there is no treatment, either I take the oxygen and recover or I die, in which case I will sign a waver and they can simply tip the body overboard. No, no, that’s not good enough. I don’t quite understand since I am the one that is going to die; it is not as if when I have a heart problem, my body will explode injuring those around me. Why can’t I sign a waver saying, “I accept all responsibility?” On Monday I tried to sign up for non-contact boxing. I needed a note. I went to the doctor and waited an hour. He wouldn’t give me a note saying it was okay to do boxing (“I just don’t know if it is okay or not”). I go back to the Y and they say that they have talked to the instructor and he has taught two people in wheelchairs before........but he don’t feel comfortable teaching me because....I have a heart problem. AHHHHHHHHH! Many are saying, “Why boxing? Can’t you start off with something less active?” Well first off, there isn’t Pilates class for arms, and second, after dealing with this for a while, the idea of hitting something sounds REALLY good.

So tomorrow I am going to see if I can get a note for sailing and wheelchair cycling. Oh yes, my brand new wheelchair has arrived. However, it has “slick” rims which means it can’t be steered or stopped on a downhill. I consider these important aspects in a wheelchair (the whole “running into a tree to stop” thing is getting a bit old). So, another two weeks or more for that to resolve. But I’m not bitter…honest!

Anyway, here is a cool music amv video for the anime series Burst Angel (Bakuretsu Tenshi). It shows the lesbian couple Meg (the femme with a gun who spends her time getting held hostage by bad guys) and Joe (the butch with LOTS of guns who rescues Meg). I finally remembered what this series reminds me of; the old melodrama’s, where the villain captures the girl, ties her to the railroad track and then the hero rescues her – only this is a lesbian version (literally, in the series Joe tells Meg, “Don’t come, I don’t want to have to rescue you for once”). A great AMV not only has a good song but tells a visual story. This AMV is so compelling telling the relationship and story between Meg and Joe that I ended up watching the series to find out more. If you like girls, guns, girls who like girls, girls who wear bikinis AND shoot guns – then you will like this – and maybe like me, end up watching the series just to see how many times Meg ends up needing to be rescued.

Hang in there – I will if you will (and really, send more pixie sticks!).


kathz said...

No wonder you're fed up. You'll have to invent competitive meditation or something at this rate.

I am now trying to think of sports your doctors will allow - like staring at your opponent and seeing who looks away first (as cats do) - or trying to make someone giggle without touching them (since the doctors are worrying about contact sports). These have merits but I fear they don't present the physical challenge you need.

Is there an organisation for people with heart conditions with some experience of doing sports, what is safe, how to get medical permission, etc?

Alternatively, turn to literary competition and organise a flyting - see and then google The Flyting of Dunbar and Kennedy, if you want a famous example.

and that's the best I can think of - too tired to be very creative r full of ideas.

Wendryn said...

That must get incredibly frustrating. I really don't have much of an idea of what you could do. I know there's wheelchair fencing, but finding a place that has the equipment is hard and you'd probably still pass out. It isn't exactly a low-energy sport.

Keep trying. I'm rooting for you, if it matters at all.