There are simply times when writing a nice light piece about thongs and waxing isn’t as easy as originally anticipated, particularly after CPR is performed on you after a “fade” during waxing (see, beauty CAN be dangerous). Linda and I have new phrases, we don’t say “pass out” or “go into convulsions gasping for air” we say; “Oh, Beth ‘faded’ a bit”. Like now I don’t fall down or fall over or become immobile, I merely, “sink” a little. Rest assured, I will blog all about how while I THOUGHT I was getting string bikini’s, Linda ordered me string bikini THONGS; thongs with skulls on them (no, not the ones you were on your feet). Seems a bit a mixed message to be doing the “look at the pretty pretty white rounded butt” with the back of one’s underwear while advertising, “Abandon all hope ye who enter here” at the vagina. This would at first appear to be something you might end up gifting an ex.
On that note, here is a very catching tune by Cab for Cutie called Someday you will be Loved (male jerks who want to practice the love and leave ‘em technique should memorize the rather disturbing lyrics which is pretty much: hey, yeah I screwed you and broke your heart, but.....someday you will be loved). It is set to the anime Elfen Lied AMV, showing Lucy who after years of being tortured by a bunch of guys for military and medical experiments was a little “disturbed.” Disturbed.....with the ability of rip people in half with her mind. I was like; “Go with it” but apparently her “innocent side” created a split personality, so this a good song for her. Hey Lucy, once people understand you PROBABLY won’t rip them in half, they’ll get to see the good side of you. I guess Lucy might wear skull thong bikini underwear.
I now have very, very red hair (a lot like Lucy actually) with a giant purple streak in it. I would show you a picture, but why I can't is another story about how I seem to be paying of several lifetimes of Karma THIS WEEK. But you know, I am determined not to do another “boo hoo my life sucks” blog for a while (even when my life does suck). It is irritating because there are lots of exciting things happening in my life, they just aren’t, you know, positive things. So I am off in search of a sense of humor that parts of humanity can relate to as opposed to backing away from. Like today when I wheeled down some rocks toward a cliff edge with a mesh fence atop it. Linda asked, “Can you make it safely?”
Me: “We’ll find out once I hit the fence....if it holds.” (people near the fence move away).
I roll down and hit the fence, it holds, there is a very long drop with outcroppings. “Wow, that would have been plenty o bounce on the way down” I say. (people near fence move further away).
So here is a song that I used to chase Linda around the house with, or was it Linda chasing me. No I am pretty sure once I got naked it was me chasing Linda. It is a little lesbian anime video to the rock hit, Little Red Riding Hood. “What big eyes you have!” Just watch the pretty pictures.
6 hours ago