Don't spend long times talking to paramedics, and in particular don't get them talking about "What fills your time" when you have decided to go to one of smaller islands around Vancouver Island to get away. Unless you like hearing about people falling from trees and having branches go right through their leg ("With a full impalment we just leave it in"), or the many, many ways people can put fishing hooks (or bunches of hooks) into various parts of their body. Don't bother watching the film SAW or HELLRAISER, just come to an island with a lot of fishing and talk to the paramedics.
Also, when the dock of the island you are on spontanously catches fire and erupts into flame as the ferry is approaching; that's a bad sign, right? Particularly as the ferry decides there is no way they are coming to THAT dock and sails away. I really wish I was making this up. Linda has already checked for the 666 hidden in my hair, no such luck.
Also, don't talk too much to the "lone gunman" style zodiac driver Mr. Sharkey (that's actually his last name) who seems to have endless stories of death and destruction at sea. His favorite around me was the two killer whales who in a combined attack turned a sea lion into a quad (his term) in seconds by ripping off all of its fins. Then they let the baby killer whale play with it for a while (my sitting there in a wheelchair didn't put him off at all - at the end I said to Linda, "So, we now know were I fit into the "natural world"; killer whale chum). Apparently, last week a pod of killer whales was travelling by where we are and were using their fins and tails to club a seal to death, mostly by battering it and keeping it under the water to drown. A tourist family saw the killer whales slapping the tails on the water and were pointing this out to the children going, "look, the whales are playing for you." The locals are all like, "Uh...yeah....playing."
2 hours ago