Tuesday, April 24, 2007

I find my place in nature, and some nice EMT stories.

Don't spend long times talking to paramedics, and in particular don't get them talking about "What fills your time" when you have decided to go to one of smaller islands around Vancouver Island to get away. Unless you like hearing about people falling from trees and having branches go right through their leg ("With a full impalment we just leave it in"), or the many, many ways people can put fishing hooks (or bunches of hooks) into various parts of their body. Don't bother watching the film SAW or HELLRAISER, just come to an island with a lot of fishing and talk to the paramedics.

Also, when the dock of the island you are on spontanously catches fire and erupts into flame as the ferry is approaching; that's a bad sign, right? Particularly as the ferry decides there is no way they are coming to THAT dock and sails away. I really wish I was making this up. Linda has already checked for the 666 hidden in my hair, no such luck.

Also, don't talk too much to the "lone gunman" style zodiac driver Mr. Sharkey (that's actually his last name) who seems to have endless stories of death and destruction at sea. His favorite around me was the two killer whales who in a combined attack turned a sea lion into a quad (his term) in seconds by ripping off all of its fins. Then they let the baby killer whale play with it for a while (my sitting there in a wheelchair didn't put him off at all - at the end I said to Linda, "So, we now know were I fit into the "natural world"; killer whale chum). Apparently, last week a pod of killer whales was travelling by where we are and were using their fins and tails to club a seal to death, mostly by battering it and keeping it under the water to drown. A tourist family saw the killer whales slapping the tails on the water and were pointing this out to the children going, "look, the whales are playing for you." The locals are all like, "Uh...yeah....playing."

6 comments:

GayProf said...

Okay, the dock catching on fire made me laugh. Sorry -- I couldn't help it.

Still, better the dock catching on fire than the water. Then you would really know that you are cursed.

Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

This really sounds like the beginning of a Stephen King novel.

I've decided that Killer Whales are not nice at all. And Mr. Sharkey is so tactless it's laughable.

kathz said...

Do you think Mr Sharkey reckons on a career in voice-overs for nature documentaries? The cross-over with serial killer stories might reach a whole new audience. Not necessarily a very nice audience - the kind that would have gone to cockfights and bear baitings.

Do docks often catch fire like that? Could you indicate to the transportation people that this happens a lot when you get angry around public transport ... and you wouldn't want to risk the bus-stops so the drivers had better make sure they stop for you ... just in case??? (Am I crossing over into the X-men perhaps?)

Sober @ Sundown said...

That sounds like a fun trip.....

What are you doing next weekend?

Viz said...

Hello sister....
Liked your blog...promise to return
Kisses

KateJ said...

When I was on the ferry once, going over to Salt Spring, a guy told me that sometimes the orca wait till two ferries are crossing then herd the seals between the two to catch them. Don't know if this is true or not, but it seems possible.
There are another lot of orca, up near Port Hardy, that don't hunt seals or large prey at all, only fish. They swim around among porpoises etc without taking any notice. And more important, without the porpoises taking any notice either. I saw them myself.