This blog has been delayed due to human excess (unfortunately that’s the “human” aspect of sick and ick rather than 24 hour clubbing and shooters). For me Thursday was but a few waking hours ago as I became ill Thursday night. “Ill” or “flu” or whatever is rather wimpy for the experience I went though, much in the same way you wouldn’t tell a guy whose car got run over by a train that it was “scratched.” Or maybe you would.
The quicky highlights of the last three days in order:
*Extreme chest pain and a rapid heart rate that would not go down for 20 hours; chest pain so bad I was screaming
*Wondering much longer I/my heart could last before it went “pop”
*Nausea for 8 hours so strong it would create lockjaw for periods
*Spontaneous muscle tremors showing up all over my body, including part of my face producing the “oh shit, will my smile still go up on both sides tomorrow?” question.
*A paralytic state on oxygen for an hour where I communicated by blinking
*Too scared to call 911 because I believed (due to needle phobia) the terror of getting a needle would put my weakened heart into arrest
*Wake up feeling like I have a 103 degree fever but actually my temperature fluctuates between 99 degrees, 97 degrees and 101 degrees within a 20 minute period.
*We call the health line, they say with my heart issues to call 911
*We call 911
*911 comes and acts like jerks; one EMT tells me the secret to controlling your heart rate is “with your mind” and while refusing to listen to my medical history or last night appears to think I have called him over because I am worried about coronary disease (like cholesterol). They leave, after making clear that while I can go to the hospital there is no need, as this can be dealt with by my mind. Linda is not amused.
*Within 2 hours I am “out of my mind” as my fever has spiked, I am hallucinating for the next 7 hours and have lost control of my body from the ribs down including complete muscle tremors on all of my muscles from the waist down. My fever is likely 105 (since that is usually when I start seeing things) but since we are convinced that calling 911 is useless we don’t bother checking and are using backwoods tech: hope I sleep and somehow recover. Linda manages to individually stop the spasms and tremors all along the lower half of my body while coaching me on how to breath while I still believe that I have been condemned by the devil to walk the many paths of hell which is why he has taken control of my legs.
*I sleep until noon, the fever has broken, however, I can only stay up for 45-55 minutes before needing to sleep another 2-3 hours. I am upright less than 4 hours that day.
*I've lost 7 lbs!
*I’ve been up 80 minutes so far today; so hopefully will be able to sit up long enough to blog about something important like the Eurovision contest or how Mexico City has legalized same sex unions.
I will try to resume programming shortly.
23 hours ago