Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Linda gets a bit dominatrix, Beth has resolutions

On Friday I was too dizzy and weak to work out. Boring! This is not to say I like working out – it is just that I am so easily bored I don’t like missing out on the chance to play high speed three dimensional chess where the opponent has a sword. So I went to the doctor on Monday and I have to go back again. He is checking my glucose, iron and hemoglobin levels. Boring!

I went to fencing and didn’t pass out. True I was having a sulky day and hadn’t done smart things like eating or drinking that day because....I'm stupid? At one point during fencing I looked down at my hand and arm and they were beet red. “Interesting” I said.

“What does that mean,” another fencer asked.

“It means my body is trying very hard to get rid of my body heat.”

“Oh?"

“It seems to be failing.” I concluded. I had done some reading and found that some women because of their body type or higher insulation (a.k.a. higher percentage of fat) are unable to sweat enough to cool themselves down. They suggested things like using sponges or making openings in clothing to let heat out. I tried that. The Battle of Seattle now has 57 epeeists in the Mixed (mostly male) epee, only seven fencers away from the magic 64 to make it an A3 or A4 event. So in prep I fenced pretty much continuously for a few hours. Till I decided to sit down. Well, lay down actually. Which is when Linda said, “We’re going home” in the voice that makes me think she would make a GREAT elementary school teacher – trust me, no one would stray out of HER line.

At home she holds a glass of water. “Drink!” she says.

“Don’t wanna!” I mumble as my head and body droop.

She grabs my ponytail, pulls my head back and pours the water down my throat.

“That,” I complain, when I can talk again, “is an unfair use of a ponytail.”

She just hands me the next glass of water. There really is no talking to her when she is in certain moods.

I stepped on the scale. “Oh crap!” – that’s what I’m calling my new diet. The “oh crap!” diet. I had lost seven pounds...in five days. I have now lost 12 pounds since Xmas. I guess when Linda kept saying, “Every time I hug you, you’re getting smaller” she was actually right. I am thinking this rules out the divine pregnancy. In preperation, last night I watched the BBC series Bodies, which makes me (or anyone) NEVER want to get pregnant in Britain – maybe it was them showing two nurses inverting a uterus post birth by accidentally puling it out with clamps during the first five minutes of the show. Hmmm, wonder who screamed louder, the woman in the show or me watching it?

I have some new training resolutions: 1) try to eat more than once a day 2) Try to eat at least 60% of a meal 3) Try taking a freaking water break at least ONCE in a two hour exercise period and 4) Try actually voluntarily walking away from training instead of having people either carry you off or become too scared they are going to damage you to continue training. I know, I know – normally not hard goals. It is just I am a “I wonder what’s on the other side of the mountain?” kind of girl – only for me it is more like, “I wonder if I can go into oxygen deprivation training just a LITTLE longer today.” Or “Does that fact that everything has turned sort of grey and seems to be sliding sideways mean I REALLY have to stop now?” Geez, I wanna sue the Bionic Woman – when are they going to come around and build it stronger, improve it, all that jazz – “False advertising”

“Beth, that was fiction,” Linda tells me, “It wasn’t an infomercial.”

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Pushing yourself to the point of injury does not accomplish anything good. It does not prove you're working hard enough. Damage to yourself is not a fencing medal. You're not getting points for being tough. Stop it.

I know I stand the risk of being bumped from this blog, or at least being ignored politely and/or rudely. You don't even really know me. But I've got nothing to lose by saying so, and something very important to gain: keeping someone I like and/or respect from doing serious harm to herself.

God bless.

Elizabeth McClung said...

While I may agree in THEORY - the practice is just soooooo tempting - and if there were medals for most screwed up training - I'm there!

Wiccachicky said...

You really DO need to be better to yourself. I understand the impulse and drive to continue, but you also have to keep yourself in check. I don't do this with physical stuff, but I go on writing benders where no one can pull me away from a computer for hours and hours - to the point that I start to look like a zombie. And really, my writing in those phases is not particularly good - my brain isn't processing correctly and such on lack of food and water - but I somehow thing I'm just on the cusp on the next big idea. I have had to "train" myself to take breaks and sleep...it actually makes the whole process more effective in the long run.

Anonymous said...

Wicca: The problem is that the brain tricks us into thinking we're accomplishing something good. For example, if we don't finish high enough at a tournament, at least we can show everyone how serious we are about winning. The darker twin of that defense mechanism involves self-punishment for imagined failures.

So the suggestion of holding one's self "in check" is actually counter-productive; that's the least attractive metaphor for some folks. A more attractive framework might be, "You can't win if you're dead." ... But in the long run, it's more useful to realistically assess expectations and actions and adopt a healthier outlook. ((Often involves extensive chatting with another party and a lot of positive reinforcement over time.))

Even the most harmful, negative shit can be seductive to the psyche if our illusions are strong enough -- and they usually are.

Metaphor-parsing aside, it sounds like that's what you did: The enticing illusion was that you were "on the cusp of the next big idea." But you realized your brain was getting sloppy and you looked like a zombie when you chased after it. You didn't like what was happening, so you trained yourself out of a negative behavior.

Kudos.

kathz said...

Tell Linda I'm on her side! - and take care of yourself, please ...

Sober @ Sundown said...

Honey, you have to take care of yourself.......... that is how we manage to grow old. You are very fortunate to have a good woman in your life.