Our household is hit with a loss; which we mourn in different ways:
Linda: Uhh…just so you know, the rabbit (vibrator) doesn’t work right anymore…
Beth: What’s wrong with it?
L: The middle bit doesn’t gyrate anymore, or rather it sometimes does but when it does has a mind of its own.
B: You broke the rabbit?
B: When did this happen?
L: Last week, when you were out.
B: You broke my rabbit last week, and you’re telling me now?
L: What “your” rabbit? I thought it was “our” rabbit.
B: It was until you broke it... (suddenly suspicious) Was that why you were talking about ordering a clitoral stimulator?
L: No, that was before I even knew, honest.
L: Where is blissbox when you need them (our UK vibrator distributor)
B: We could order it, but we would have to have them send it over here.
L: Which means Canada Customs inspects it. (we are not very confident on Canadian Customs being understanding when it comes to lesbian sexual needs)
B: We’ll look online. (she is caught with sudden panic) Where’s the lipstick? (lipstick vibrator)
L: Oh, it’s in my lingerie drawer.
B: In your drawer? What was all this about “our” versus “mine”?
L: I was cleaning up.
B: Yeah…. “cleaning up.” Oh, you should use that for clitoral stimulation.
L: (perking up) Yeah.
B: I should blog this conversation
L: (breaks into prolonged hysterical laughter) That’ll stop relatives from reading the blog.
For those who are keeping track, the rubber ducky vibrator is JUST FINE, as I used him in the bath yesterday. Can you say “rub-a-dub-dub, two girls in the tub”? I got very, VERY clean.
3 hours ago